#60 Toyota Prius
February 7, 2008 by clander
Over the years, white people have gone through a number of official cars. In the 1980s it was the Saab and the Volvo. By the 1990s it was the Volkswagen Jetta or a Subaru 4WD stastion wagon. But these days, there is only one car for white people. One car that defines all that they love: the Toyota Prius.
The Prius might be the most perfect white product ever. It’s expensive, gives the idea that you are helping the environment, and requires no commitment/changes other than money.
The Toyota Prius gets 45 miles per gallon. That’s right, you can drive 45 miles and burn only one gallon of gasoline. So somehow, through marketing or perception, the Prius lets people think that driving their car is GOOD for the environment.
It’s a pretty sweet deal for white people. You can buy a car, continue to drive to work and Barak Obama rallies and feel like you are helping the environment!
Some white people decide to pull the ultimate move. Prius, Apple Sticker on the back, iPod rocking, and Democratic Candidate bumper sticker. Unstoppable!
There are a few ways you can use this to your advantage. If you are carpooling to an event or party you can always say “can we take your Prius? my car doesn’t get good mileage and I feel guilty driving it.” And bam! Free ride! 
Also, if you see a white person in a Prius you can say “wow, that’s great to see that you’re doing something for the earth.” The white person will feel very good about themselves and offer to drive you home, to Ikea, or drop you off at 80s night.
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I actually know four Prius owners and all four have doctorates and teach at the college level. Not a damn one of them have seen a battery or could change a tire, but boy can they yack up a Prius. When I ask them about real gas milage they seem to want to change the subject. When I mention that all of the big three have models which do better than their Prius they want me gone.
What’s the point? Hell, there are many, but certainly the Prius is a piece of shit and way over priced.
I think I know some of those people. Career students we call em in Texas.
I guess word hasn’t got out down here because the 4×4 truck, preferably diesel, preferably lifted, still seems to be king. Even in University Park Cadillac Escalades are a dime a dozen. Mercedes is still strong however.
Austin on the other hand…..
Hi All,
Being in the midwest, we did not have allot of Gen 2 Prius around here. I bought my Prius in February 2006, and I am white. But, in my hometown the first Gen 2 Prius I came across while driving my new Prius, was being driven by, you guesed it, an African American.
Oh Dr. Pete you forgot about brake maintenance. But maybe you only drive highways and always coast down to a stop without using brakes?
Its pretty well accepted in engineering and scientific circles that the Prius is well worth the extra energy of production. Standard cars only use 15 % of the total energy consumption in production, and the rest is fuel energy. Your saying the opposite is just so much marketing blah blah. The Prius has recovered the extra energy of production by approximately 30K miles or operation.
The Toyota Hybrid system reduces the gear-train manufacturing costs, and the drive train motors are multifunctional, also providing starter and alternator functions. This is truely elegant, and BTW the original concept was invented by Americans at TRW.
Allot of people bought the Prius for non-enviormental reasons too. Like 9-11 and doing something about fueling the terrorists’ economy with our fuel purchases. Why send money to the middle east, when one can support the american spirit of inovation present in the Toyota car? And since 2006 there have been two periods of gas more than $4/ga here, and much of the time it was above $3/ga. Only in the last three fillups has gas been below $2.50 here since I have owned my Prius.
As to battery materials, there is more nickel in the average stainless-steel kitchen (including the stainless steel butter knifes and forks), than in a Prius battery. If one bought an enamelled dishwasher and stove and plastic lined refrigerator, that Nickel could be used in hybrid cars to save emissions.
And certainly many cities benefit from the reduced brake dust alergen floating around too.
You’re a regular friggen scientist. One problem, your facts are just your facts. Could we see some citations so I can see your ‘facts’.
These pieces of shit need to be recalled.
For many years now the president has been a puppet of big oil. Now that Obama is in office hopefully we will see more money going into alternative fuels. For example, he should provide government rebates to anyone that buys a hybrid vehicle like the Prius because they are helping the environment. The government could raise the money for this rebate by raising the federal tax Americans pay for gasoline. If anyone doesn’t like this plan, tell them they are causing global warming and then blame Exxon Mobil for the high cost of fuel.
http://www.autobloggreen.com/photos/well-at-least-he-drives-a-prius/673794/
This may have already been posted here. I apologize if so. See above site for a great satirical affirmation of the morality of the Prius.
You missed the mark on this Prius owner. I am a republican, I did not buy my car to feel better about my carbon footprint or to fit into any group. I bought it because I like it. The gas milage is nice too.
You want to make a white person feel really awkward–
Try explaining that a Toyota Prius actually has a greater carbon footprint than a Jeep Grand Cherokee because of the intense process of mining nickel, then shipping that nickel to Europe so it can be turned into what they use for the batteries, then shipping that to Japan where the batteries are assembled, then shipping that back to the US to be put into cars…
Not to mention the super-lightweight alloys used in the body to give that car 45 mpg which are also incredibly bad for the environment to produce…
…unless they plan on driving their Prius for 15 years they would actually be doing something better for the environment by driving a huge American SUV.
Try that one on for size.
Important Announcement
I have been freed of the shackles of my whiteness – Yipeee!! – I sold our 2006 Prius yesterday and all I have now is a 7.2 litre 1973 Cadillac – God bless America!
All I have to do now is try and stop my wife composting and go back to using plastic bags at the supermarket and I am FREE & presumambly no longer white?
One question is does this make me black (including throwing out all humus in our fridge) and will my manhood get bigger?!
I’m not sure Dick; I couldn’t answer your question, but why don’t you go straight to the source? Ask one of your black friends if you can compare penis sizes. I’m sure he’ll be cool with it.
We got our Prius only so that people would look when we drive down the street, really. But I got tired of feeling smug, and now I feel so bad about how little money I spend on gas that I make it a point to slosh some gas around at the gas stations, and every now and then I fill-up my neighbor’s SUV.
Oh, and I’m gonna toss my used battery into a creek, even though the shop will take the trade-in.
Gee, just trying to fit in,
john_john
I love it when these clearly hit some people a bit too close to home…
If I had bought a Prius instead of my equally-equipped Honda Civic, the gas savings would’ve paid off the extra cost of the car in a mere 115,000 miles.
You’re not saving the planet with a Prius. It’s pretty well-accepted that hybrids are a sham in terms of environmental consciousness, at least with current battery materials and manufacturing being what they are. You’re spending less on gas, sure, but there’s nothing “green” about it.
Your complete lack of a sense of humor on the topic is evidence enough that you discovered this AFTER buying the car… Oopsie.
ya know i made it a point to read through most of the posts and i rather enjoy how some get into a hilarious huff about the comments made. i found this to site be a wonderful way to get a laugh and make my day a little better, come on people smile! it increases you face value (oh yeah, i’m a BIG steel mag fan) besides my friend kel just bought a prius (she’s picking it up at lunch time) and i cant wait til she give me a ride to the local burgery for some tasty fries and a shake!
oh and john john your post made me shoot diet coke through my nose!!! It was a kodaky kinda moment!
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In conclusion, 80s night.
Signed, -80s night
ps – 80s night
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