#63 Expensive Sandwiches
February 11, 2008 by clander
Having already covered breakfast and dinner options, the question remains: what do white people like to do for lunch? The answer: expensive sandwiches.
In most cities, if you need to find a cache of white people get yourself to a sandwich shop. Generally these places aren’t open for dinner, have a panini press and are famous for their bread. There are always vegan options and the selection of meats and cheese are strongly European.
The waiters and waitresses in these places are highly coveted by the white population. They are not quite as cool as bartenders, not quite as snobby as coffee shop workers, but still artsy, young, and more than likely to be a musician/artist/writer (since they only have to work from 11-3).
If you are in the position where you need to take a white person to lunch for business or pleasure, saying “I know a great sandwich shop,” will always bring out a smile. The white person will then tell you about the great sandwich shop in the town where they went to college and how they had a crush on a waiter, or that there was some special sandwich that they always ordered. This will put the person in a good mood.
It’s important to note that this type of restaurant is best for business or friendship situations as it is very neutral and does not carry connotations like Sushi or Breakfast.
These sandwiches generally start at $8.99. Remember that whenever a white person says they wants to go to a sandwich shop you are looking at at least a $15 outlay after tip and drink, $20 if the place has a good selection of microbrews.
Also note: white people will wait up to 40 minutes for a good sandwich.
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haha you said tip, all the wait staff know you darkies don’t tip worth a sh*t
What an idiot… “You darkies”??? It’s a wonder people hate white people. It’s the ones like YOU that give the rest of us a bad name.
Elysa, you’re so white:
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/28/101-being-offended/
A variation on this would be Chipotle, which has surpassed Cosi as the place to stand in line.
Mmmm…I could so go for a chicken pomodor panini right now with bacon & sundried tomatoes…and basil!
In NYC, most of the sandwich shops are worked by people of color, unless they are real Italian delis. Artists and musicians want to get paid too much.
But Eric, don’t go there with Zipcar! I’m from the Boogie, where there are only two cars. Every person of color me and my man (he’s white Australian) talk to, especially sisters w/kids LOVE the zipcar idea, so we’re gonna go to the next zip meeting and suggest they expand them to the Bronx; there’s plenty in Harlem, with a lot of use by brothers and sisters. As Zipcar is a responsible co., we’re hoping they do the right thing and expand.
[...] like expensive sandwiches, Japan, corny Hip-Hop, living by the water, and [...]
I always get the rosemary foccacio, avocado spread, sauteed mushrooms, grilled chicken breast, warmed, and a Perrier (from the plastic bottles).
How can you fit all that in your mouth when you probably also have some other dude’s crank stuffed in there as well? Just how big is your mouth??
I’ve been known to wait in excess of 40 minutes for a good sandwich. So glad I found this site.
As you probably know, white people love that false sense of community that comes from commenting on complete strangers blogs. Thanks for giving me yet another opportunity to feel I belong to something. Seeing as how everyone these days just hates us white people.
I LOVE expensive sandwiches!
(Especially mozzarella, tomato, and basil pesto on kalamata olive bread)
Yeah, I’m guilty of this one too…
and procuitto.
I just overheard two co-workers discussing their favourite sandwiches from a downtown deli, and then read this.. how fabulous!
Oops — that was meant as a general comment, not a comment to #63 in particular (which was brilliant).
How can you leave off Zipcar?
We talk about lunch all morning….money is no object for good sandwiches. And by goos sandwiches I mean Chicken Marsala Pizza
I am not white and I just love the heck out of sandwiches and the expensive ones often have the flavor in the meat and other things rather than slabs of mayo and cheese that really dont taste like anything.
That looks pretty good right there.
I pooped my pants
Years ago my boss bought a submarine sandwich shop in Detroit. Everyone told him it was a bad idea because of the bad neighborhood it is in.All neighborhoods in Detroit are bad.
Even though robberies occurred often and many cars were stolen, he made huge profits. He told me how the black customers would turn a $5 sub into a $10 sub by ordering extra cheese, meat extra anything (except vegetables) and always bought a large pop.
So it seems black people there liked expensive sandwiches but were spending money they really couldn’t afford.
Black people, however, will take 10 minutes to order a sandwich, and listening to them order the sandwich — you got spicy mustard? yeah. gimme dat — is painful, not because of a dislike for black people so much as a dislike of horrible grammar and bad manners.
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