#63 Expensive Sandwiches
February 11, 2008 by clander
Having already covered breakfast and dinner options, the question remains: what do white people like to do for lunch? The answer: expensive sandwiches.
In most cities, if you need to find a cache of white people get yourself to a sandwich shop. Generally these places aren’t open for dinner, have a panini press and are famous for their bread. There are always vegan options and the selection of meats and cheese are strongly European.
The waiters and waitresses in these places are highly coveted by the white population. They are not quite as cool as bartenders, not quite as snobby as coffee shop workers, but still artsy, young, and more than likely to be a musician/artist/writer (since they only have to work from 11-3).
If you are in the position where you need to take a white person to lunch for business or pleasure, saying “I know a great sandwich shop,” will always bring out a smile. The white person will then tell you about the great sandwich shop in the town where they went to college and how they had a crush on a waiter, or that there was some special sandwich that they always ordered. This will put the person in a good mood.
It’s important to note that this type of restaurant is best for business or friendship situations as it is very neutral and does not carry connotations like Sushi or Breakfast.
These sandwiches generally start at $8.99. Remember that whenever a white person says they wants to go to a sandwich shop you are looking at at least a $15 outlay after tip and drink, $20 if the place has a good selection of microbrews.
Also note: white people will wait up to 40 minutes for a good sandwich.
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Wooglins Deli in Colorado Springs…I think most of my student loan check went to that place.
Also, it was conveniently located next to a liberal arts college…more stuff white people like.
You want white, wheat, sourdough, french or rye with that?
I think this has more to do with income demographics than skin tone…
I don’t think this user gets this site.
Half Fast Subs on the Hill at Boulder, CO is my favorite sandwich joint. Try the Gobbler with Chicago peppers; it’s as if you are enjoying a Thanksgiving meal during a midweek lunch. Also, I would like to recommend their “Strong Islands”. Those will knock you on your ass. If you are in Boulder, try out the Mountain Sun or the Southern Sun. It’s a renouned local brewery. The Amante Coffee house has pretentious atmosphere, but has good expensive sandwiches, awesome Italian style coffee (I’m sure it’s not as good as the authentic one you had during your backpacking stay in Naples, Florence, or Rome), and shows soccer games on a plasma TV. Finally, the Great Harvest Bread makes some dank sandwiches. The Panera Bread is just too corporate for me:).
By the way, I’m a Korean-American male who went to school at CU. I love to ride my bike, eat brunch at The Buff or this little New Orleans themed placed by Pearl with my predominantly white friends, listen to indie rock, eat expensive sandwiches, and absolutely love sushi. Now that I have mentioned that delicious piece of raw fish, I want to say that it’s true about taking a white date to a sushi place. It’s foul proof if you are Asian, because we “automatically know where the best sushi places are in town”. For future reference, I think this website is long overdue for subjects such as cheese, Boondock Saints the movie, live acoustic music, and dancing (swing, jazz, tap, salsa, etc).
Have you ever tried Nutella? It’s a hazelnut chocolate spread that is awesome! The little Italian kids used to make a fortunate in the playground because these little sandwiches were like currency.
Ferrero is the Italian company that makes it. Boy, they make those lovely Ferrero Rocher chocolate too.
Thank you white people! Thank you!
that’s because expensive sandwiches taste good!
Whatever happened to simple bologna and cheese on wonderbread?
Also, these sandwhich shops will have two or three soups to choose from – one is potato leek or french onion and the other is some unpronounceable soup which is probably the leftovers from the day before.
Maybe “Pretentious Sandwiches” would be better, although, generally speaking, sandwiches with avocado, foccacio, sundried tomatos, olives, and on and on are both pretentious and expensive.
What I love are people who can order a sandwich in less than 1 minute. People who can get out of a checkout line without massive cranial drain, in less than 2 minutes, I worship them, and believe they are the rightful candidates for POTUS.
I love sandwiches…I’d have them every meal of the day if I could…lol
Yep. I’m white…
Me too. I’m in love with panera bread.
this is so true. my boss asked me to go to lunch with her and i had $5 in my wallet. I thought cool. well, when we got to the place the sandwiches were $8. Not a large sub either. It was mushrooms, swiss cheese, something else, feta, greens on some fancy thin sliced bread.
white people love expensive sandwiches!
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