#63 Expensive Sandwiches
February 11, 2008 by clander
Having already covered breakfast and dinner options, the question remains: what do white people like to do for lunch? The answer: expensive sandwiches.
In most cities, if you need to find a cache of white people get yourself to a sandwich shop. Generally these places aren’t open for dinner, have a panini press and are famous for their bread. There are always vegan options and the selection of meats and cheese are strongly European.
The waiters and waitresses in these places are highly coveted by the white population. They are not quite as cool as bartenders, not quite as snobby as coffee shop workers, but still artsy, young, and more than likely to be a musician/artist/writer (since they only have to work from 11-3).
If you are in the position where you need to take a white person to lunch for business or pleasure, saying “I know a great sandwich shop,” will always bring out a smile. The white person will then tell you about the great sandwich shop in the town where they went to college and how they had a crush on a waiter, or that there was some special sandwich that they always ordered. This will put the person in a good mood.
It’s important to note that this type of restaurant is best for business or friendship situations as it is very neutral and does not carry connotations like Sushi or Breakfast.
These sandwiches generally start at $8.99. Remember that whenever a white person says they wants to go to a sandwich shop you are looking at at least a $15 outlay after tip and drink, $20 if the place has a good selection of microbrews.
Also note: white people will wait up to 40 minutes for a good sandwich.
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I’m snackin on a ten dollar sub as I’m reading this.
Hilarious! When my Japanese boyfriend came back to North America with me, he wanted and couldn’t get enough of the huge sandwiches here. They just don’t do ‘em like that in Japan
If you buy a house from us I’ll make you the best sandwich you’ve ever had in your life! AND it will be free!!! Just check us out for the best experience ever!
hey!
I know you spambot wants to lure us white people to the state of Utah. No thanks, it gets too cold and snowy up in the mountains, and the thin air (4500 foot high elevation) of a place like Provo makes coastal sea-level dwellers out of L.A. or O.C. airsick. But hey, no smog and 90 degree heat, and it has the “four seasons” including the pollen allergy one. Don’t waste $10 on subs (Cal. price), it’s 6.50 in Utah without the tax depending on county. +
This blog is so painfully accurate…I swear to god “clander” was sitting at a table across from me when I ate my 9-dollar falafel and feta on focaccia with garlic aioli. Brutal…
guilty…brutally fucking guilty.
White people will wait for an hour for a crusty, soggy sandwich. – Arunabh Das
i do enjoy a good sandmich
[...] Haha, my nostalgic musings just reminded me of this hilarious (and accurate) post. [...]
I would contend everybody likes sandwiches, white people obviously have more complex palates and need more then your average Arbys or Subway
Arby’s is closing down everywhere, same goes to IHOP, Fosters freeze, Pick Up stix and Sizzler. The restaurant business is hardest hit in the Palm Springs area followed by hotels, real estate, landscaping and agricultural from the ongoing drought. The recession has hard hit Indio, but the worst case scenario is the vacated malls and shops along Palm Canyon drive in Palm Springs. So far, Palm Desert has not died or turned into a ghost down, the Westfield mall is really priced out…and nobody goes there on the weekend. The Indio fashion mall and Palm Springs mall are empty, bankrupt and closing down. +
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