#64 Recycling
February 14, 2008 by clander
Recycling is a part of a larger theme of stuff white people like: saving the earth without having to do that much.
Recycling is fantastic! You can still buy all the stuff you like (bottled water, beer, wine, organic iced tea, and cans of all varieties) and then when you’re done you just put it in a DIFFERENT bin than where you would throw your other garbage. And boom! Environment saved! Everyone feels great, it’s so easy!
This is important because all white feel guilty about producing waste. It doesn’t stop them from doing it, but they feel guilty about it. Deep down, they believe they should be like the Native Americans and use every part of the product or beast they have consumed. Though for many white people, this simply means putting plastic bags into a special drawer where they will accumulate until they are eventually used to carry some gym clothes or bathing suit. Ultimately this drawer will get full and only be emptied when the person moves to a new house. Advanced white recyclers will uses these grocery bags as garbage bags.
If you are in a situation where a white person produces an empty bottle, watch their actions. They will first say “where’s the recycling?” If you say “we don’t recycle,” prepare for some awkwardness. They will make a move to throw the bottle away, they will hesitate, and then ultimately throw the bottle away. But after they return look in their eyes. All they can see is the bottle lasting forever in a landfill, trapping small animals. It will eat at them for days, at this point you should say “I’m just kidding, the recycling is under the sink. Can you fish out that bottle?” And they will do it 100% of the time!
The best advice is that if you plan to deal with white people on regular basis either start recycling or purchase a large blue bin so that they can believe they are recycling.
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This is so funny. It is really nice when you can talk about yourself and laugh at the same time.
[...] and blog “Stuff White People Like” by Christian Lander? It’s kind of funny. #64 (out of the 120 things white people are reputed to like) is….wait for it…..RECYCLING. [...]
Beer cans ….. that is all…
lol!
I’m asian and I recycle…and I even have a drawer full of plastic bags that I take to the extreme and use as garbage bags.
PS:I like the ending of it, it’s so funny
In order to encourage recycling at my university they removed most of the trash cans and put 6-8 different blue recycling bins at every exit/restroom/fountain. So basically if you have a Big Mac or a cup of coffee, put it in the nearest “white paper only” bin.
Interestingly enough, the university has a crew of 40 independent contractors (Mexicans) that clean the restrooms and floors, but they never, ever touch the recycling bins. Most likely a group of student council members volunteer to sort the bins after Art or Philosophy class.
Thank God for Arts and Philosophy students! I have noticed this “multitude of different trash receptacles” thing recently, but am too lazy to decide where to deposit my refuse, so it always goes into the closest bin. If it weren’t for those poor students, my paper would be mixed into the plastic! And a nuclear winter would quickly ensue.
I have a burn barrel. I recycle. Back to the atmosphere where once it came. Ya all proud of me?
With used motoroil you can find a nice grassy spot in the back yard to pour it onto. It’s like giving back to the Earth what the Arabs stole from her.
No, no no no. Used oil is poured on the lake to kill mosquito larva. There’s and added advantage, also. The rainbow colored swirlies on top of the water make for real cool observation with the help of the evil devil weed. I just remembered, I need to dump the oil. Bye.
I used to recycle until I found out the county pays $18 a ton to dispose of regular garbage and $83 a ton for recyclables.
Saving/protecting/conserving the Earth costs money. Saving the world from terrorists costs money too.
I like the idea of empty bottles and styrofoam containers reposing for all eternity inside comfortable plastic trash bags. They served us well; let them rest in peace!
[...] Recycling Recycling is a part of a larger theme of stuff white people like: saving the earth without having to do that much. Recycling is fantastic! You can still buy all the stuff you like (bottled water, beer, wine, organic iced tea, and cans of all varieties) and then when you’re done you just put it in a DIFFERENT bin than where you would throw your other garbage. And boom! Environment saved! Everyone feels great, it’s so easy! [...]
It is nice to see so much interest on this site with regards to recycling. It will no doubt be in the future, an everyday way of living but note soon enough ! The company I work for have recently introduced a range of recycling bins for use both indoor and outdoor. The four bin recycling are colour coded to meet the latest European legislation, the recycling stations consist of the following: Plastic / Glass / Cans and paper and can be bought from
http://www.impbins.com
not only are you blindingly white, you are a total dork
shut up u dum asses
I am surprised there is a legislation, because I live in Romania, and here only idiots recycle, because the trash services throw everything together. They can pick up certain recyclable materials, but will only do it if you have 50 kilos worth or something, because otherwise it’s not profitable for them.
when your country awakens from the abyss it has been in for the last 60 years i.e gains admittance to the eu you will have legislation too dum ass
Recycling Saves Energy
Recycling Saves Environmental Conditions and Reduces Pollution
Recycling Saves Natural Resources
Recycling Saves Space for Waste Disposal
wrong. but keep up the blind pep talks and pats on the back.
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