Stuff White People Like

Stone Roses. i WIN

you should go to dead, phish, string cheese incident, etc shows. pretty much all white folks, and everyone is shakin their bonez to the beatz.

i think it’s safe to assume we’re talking about indie or alternative gigs here, and it’s true, but there’s always one or two people(not drunk) dancing like retarded religious freaks, with a big space around them. it is not the done thing to look like you’ve been laughing at them, or pay any attention to them at all. for the best cases of this, go to an ‘ATP’ festival (there might be a post about atp somewhere on this blog already), when i went to one we counted more sonic youth ‘goo’ t shirts, than black people. smaller venues(cafe oto, dalston) frown at talking during gigs too.

Why is it so cool to write about how uncool white people are? Who places that cool bar? And why isn’t this considered “painting with a broad brush” or stereotyping? Here is what this post would look like had it been written about black people. Does anyone have a problem with this? Is this cool?

Music is very important to black people. It truly is the soundtrack to their lives, meaning that black people are constantly thinking about what songs would be on the soundtrack for the biopic. The problem is that most of the music that black people like is really dance-friendly. More often the songs are about guns, money, jewelry, prostitutes, gangsters, etc.

So when black people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They dance! This is an important part of black concert going as it enables you to focus on the dancing, and it will draw excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to start dancing.

The result is Kanye and Lil Wayne concerts that essentially looks more like a nightclub than a music event.

If you find yourself invited to a concert with a black person, expect to dance. Prepare yourself for three hours of dancing. It is also not advised to get a beer or (if legal) a cigarette so you have something to do with your hands. And it is not acceptable to occasionally raise one hand and point just above the stage.

Note: the addition of the drug ecstasy changes everything

Honestly this is all true. like everything on this list. I love you whoever writes this stuff

i don’t appreciate kids bopping up and down in front of me when i’m trying to experience the music of bands like Mogwai. one glance from me at the concert of my favorite bands will put the fear of God into you. why would you dance unless you’re at a Britney Spears concert?

well it might not be dancing but we have mosh pits and crowd surfing(more like rape for chicks dumb enough to crowd surf)

Concerts, tennis matches and movie theatres are for very civilized white people. Don’t dare excuse yourself “loudly” to use the restroom and come back cutting through the seat rows. No wonder we can’t stand going to these spots, we know nobody should “ruin” it or distract us from viewing, then we don’t wanna be accused of rudeness or other hyper-sensitivity to minor etiquette mistakes we all make (not me, but you and everyone). +

Not that this observation is true . . . but I’m afraid white people are damned if they do, damned if they don’t on this one. Ya’ll got a rep for bad rhythm, especially the uptight protestant dudes, so you’re not really expected to dance . . . except for Kevin Bacon, but he needs a whole warehouse to himself.

try stopping by a place called houge barmichaels in newport beach on a saturday night.
then try telling me this -> So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still!