#67 Standing Still at Concerts
February 17, 2008 by clander
Music is very important to white people. It truly is the soundtrack to their lives, meaning that white people are constantly thinking about what songs would be on the soundtrack for the biopic. The problem is that most of the music that white people like isn’t really dance-friendly. More often the songs are about pain, or love, or breaking up with someone, or not being able to date someone, or death.
So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you.
The result is Belle and Sebastian concerts that essentially looks more like a disorganized line of people than a music event.
If you find yourself invited to a concert with a white person, do NOT expect to dance. Prepare yourself for three hours of standing reasonably still. It is also advised to get a beer or (if legal) a cigarette so you have something to do with your hands. Although it is acceptable to occasionally raise one hand and point just above the stage.
Note: the addition of the drug ecstasy changes everything.
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Uh hello, earth to people WE’RE WHITE. WE DON’T DANCE.
DUUUUUURRRRRRRR.
Not true at all. Every white person I know loves to dance at shows. They epecially like to move akwardly when we go to hip-hop concerts.
This one is kinda lame…
PS
How are you not supposed to move at a show if you actually like the band that is playing?
ANTHONY GREEN CAN MAKE A SLAB OF IRON DANCE
dear stuff white people like,
your blog makes me feel like my mom is secretly white. also i never realized how many not white friends i didn’t have. thank you, swpl. i hope acronyms is on your list.
sincerely,
Do Black And Asian Cancel Out To Be White in Delaware
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This among other sent me on a quest to find the Ni**er within. I was at a show by the late R.L. Burnside. He had a big alternative following from playing with the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. Hard booty shoveling blues! Non of the white alt kids (the entire <35 portion of the crowd and 95 % of the crowd overall) moved a muscle except to scowl at the dancers. They just got in the way of those of us who felt like dancing, the 2 or 3 blacks and the whites who were old enough to have lived with disco or who remember when eighties music was something more than a something safe for boring office people. Made me sick
It does get pretty annoying going to a show and seeing nobody dancing or moving, kinda creepy actually. Whats worse though is going to a show filled with music you can dance to and security tells you to sit down if you start dancing:S even if your not in anybodies way. I’m white but I must say dancing, moshing, thrashing or pretty much anything that requires moving should be a must at any live concert.
[...] #67 Standing Still at Concerts [...]
Ugh…why can’t people sit at concerts? Just because I love a band or a certain song doesn’t mean I want to dance to it. If I wanted to dance I’d go to a club. I can enjoy music perfectly well while sitting. Thanks.
http://twowhiteboys.com/2008/
Reminds me of when I went to the Kanye West concert, while I was going all out on Stronger, the white kids next to me did nothing stand and stare at West. How can you not dance at a k. west concert? I’m sorry but the songs are so infectious that dancing needs to be done.
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