#67 Standing Still at Concerts
February 17, 2008 by clander
Music is very important to white people. It truly is the soundtrack to their lives, meaning that white people are constantly thinking about what songs would be on the soundtrack for the biopic. The problem is that most of the music that white people like isn’t really dance-friendly. More often the songs are about pain, or love, or breaking up with someone, or not being able to date someone, or death.
So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you.
The result is Belle and Sebastian concerts that essentially looks more like a disorganized line of people than a music event.
If you find yourself invited to a concert with a white person, do NOT expect to dance. Prepare yourself for three hours of standing reasonably still. It is also advised to get a beer or (if legal) a cigarette so you have something to do with your hands. Although it is acceptable to occasionally raise one hand and point just above the stage.
Note: the addition of the drug ecstasy changes everything.
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obviously you’ve never been to a heavy metal concert or a punk show. it is damn near impossible to stand still.
Obviously I’m going to the wrong concerts. I don’t dance, technically, but headbanging has got to count for something.
[...] I once read something on Stuff White People Like that most people, when at concerts, are convinced that EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT THEM and not the band [...]
ok yes there are times when people stand still but that is usually during a slow part of the song at almost every concert i have been there there have been mosh pits (dont get me wrong i am not saying mosh pits are dancing) or some kind of unorginized movement like the wall of death a circle pit or many other thing “white people concerts” are the best things ever i mean i would much rather mosh or do something brutal then actually dance because that is not what “white” people music is for
Um, I don’t think a Belle and Sebastian show lends itself to a lot of dancing and moving around. Moshing also isn’t dancing–it’s organized brutality. Maybe I’m not listening to the right “white folk” music, but if my feet aren’t broken, I’m dancin’!
your also a girl. That changes everything
I couldn’t help but laugh at the people who attacked this one with the topic of moshpits.
Moshpits are not dancing.
They’re brutality.
Apparantly you’ve never experienced a mosh pit. lol
Moshing and dancing are totally unrelated. Moshing does not require rhythm to make you look like you know what you’re doing… Also, dancing does not improve with the addition of weapons.
this is soooo true! my friends and I always complain about how no one dances at concerts, yet we are also white and never dance either, lol!
A generalization…..go to a Raconteurs show…..
I dunno… I saw the Raconteurs last summer and the audience was at least 75% not-dancing white people.
this website is full of generalizations. And they are funny.
This is only true for acoustic or slower bands that nobody really knows.
I know what you mean though, and it sucks when nobody is moving. Usually I start to move around and then a mosh pit starts.
Try going to a hardcore or any type of heavier music concert.
People will be moving, trust me.
yeah i remember my first mosh pit it was at a bullet for my valentine concert. with a couple friends the best part was that we started it. mosh pits are the best so are circle pits when some one trips
you forgot to mention the ever so popular white songs about hating their parents!
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