#67 Standing Still at Concerts
February 17, 2008 by clander
Music is very important to white people. It truly is the soundtrack to their lives, meaning that white people are constantly thinking about what songs would be on the soundtrack for the biopic. The problem is that most of the music that white people like isn’t really dance-friendly. More often the songs are about pain, or love, or breaking up with someone, or not being able to date someone, or death.
So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you.
The result is Belle and Sebastian concerts that essentially looks more like a disorganized line of people than a music event.
If you find yourself invited to a concert with a white person, do NOT expect to dance. Prepare yourself for three hours of standing reasonably still. It is also advised to get a beer or (if legal) a cigarette so you have something to do with your hands. Although it is acceptable to occasionally raise one hand and point just above the stage.
Note: the addition of the drug ecstasy changes everything.
Pages: « 46 … 45 44 43 42 41 [40] 39 38 37 36 35 … 1 » Show All
I like going to concerts where you can get crazy and mosh. So, imagine my surprise when someone took my to a raidohead concert and everyone actually was standing still!! The whole damn concert nobody moved except the one guy on LSD who was tweeking out. I got so bored I tried to crowd surf and people looked at me like I had just punched an infant. This “standing still at concerts” thing is totally true and bizarre. If I wanted to stand around an listen to music I would just listen to my ipod, not pay $80 dollars and stand in a crowd full of sweaty weirdos.
the addition of any drug, even a great deal of alcohol, changes everything. this is especially true for mushrooms, lsd, or even cannabis. have you ever been to a music festival?
Yeah, white people don’t like to dance to music that isn’t dance friendly. It’d look ridiculous. Monkeys don’t mind though, and neither do black people… I wonder if there’s a connection there. *oops*
Which would be funny, because, you know, you evolved from apes, too.
Evolved just a bit further, though… ;D
bahahaha!!! this is the most amazign thing i have read all night!! I am feeling soooooo foreign right now.
thats so true, people just stand there looking blank “feeling” the music, its so stupid. Its like dude why the hell did you pay to come if your just gonna act bored… maybe the not having rythm thing makes it kinda hard….
LOL!
oh is that what the standing still is about, “feeling the music? I’m going to an April Wine concert in Toronto in a few months and never thought about people not dancing, until now. If the people in the seats next to me aren’t dancing, I’m going to exit the row and dance in the aisle, I swear, because this band ROCKS! I have seen a few recent live videos and I do see a lot of people dancing, so hopefully it will be good at this concert.
Oh well, I guess I’m the wrong type of white person, because I also don’t have bangs
I can’t tell you how many concerts I’ve been to where there’s always the obligatory white chick standing perfectly still, as if to say “I’m cutting edge yet still too sexy for this.” Either that or she’s banging the bass player. Or both.
Notice that same gal usually has a HUGE freakin’ purse on her shoulder which takes up another body width…
…and seems to think that IF she shows any interest (or rhythm) EVERYONE is gonna look at her. Doesn’t she know that it’s because she’s NOT moving we’re looking at her?
Hmmm… maybe that’s her game plan after all.
All I say is:
It’s LIVE: We, the audience, are to show appreciation, not stand there simply to be entertained – a la TV… In fact, WE are an integral part of the performance.
Dance. It’s good for you!
Smile. Everyone appreciates that.
Performers dig to see themselves being enjoyed – show it.
That’s SO true, everywhere you go there is the pretty girl who is standing (in the front row, no less) like a statue, and with such an unfriendly unhappy expression. You’re right, it’s to get people to look at her, and she is probably trying to get the band to notice her too. She went to the trouble of getting the front row ticket, and now she can’t even smile once during the entire concert?
[...] “yeahs.” Ezra Koenig, before teaching us, looked out at the audience (which had been standing still for the entirety of the 4 songs leading up to the moment) and asked, “do you guys do this? Are you into this?” Not really, but Vampire Weekend helped [...]
the comments posted on this blog are often funnier than the posts themselves- i’ve almost laughed myself to death a couple of times from the “i don’t understand this post” or “you guys suck” or “white people don’t do this” folks.
even funnier are the people hat try to counterpoint the posts-
hey MORON (didja see that- emoting in all caps)
stop taking yourself so seriously- you know that while you’re reading this you’re wearing New Balance sneakers (or Birkenstocks) and drinking bottled water while listening to the Smiths
Wow, guess who hasn’t been to a honkytonk . . .
I don’t think Honkytonk types are the white people referenced in this article. These are yuppy morons. Very much not the same as the Honkytonk types whose line dancing we all know and love.
Damn me for never having learned to line dance!
Yee haw! Country-western music is one of the kind of genres one can really dance, move about and sing in tongues (the redneck southern Christian stereotype). Play the fiddle hot, boy. (thinks of “The Devil went down to Georgia”) +
Or to a Pogues gig – there you’ll have White People Dancing combined with St Patrick’s Day. In fact there’s a whole new category to be explored here – Irish-music-that-Irish-people don’t-listen-to-anymore.
Being Irish I can assure you that Irish people NEVER listened to the Pogues – Shane McGowan is British. lol
This one is SO true!! I just went to a concert two weeks ago and everyone was just sitting there. COMPLETELY still, not even singing along. I don’t get it!! It’s a concert!! Move, dance, have fun! LOL It cracks me up every time cuz my boyfriend and I will be the only people dancing or MOVING for that matter.
I agree with you Suki – it’s a concert, if you’re not into busting out like crazy stay at home and put on the record
I personally don’t care if 20 people all around me are staring like crazy, I’ll still dance away happily – in fact even more so if that’s the case! And it always happens, I’ll be jumping around or whatever and usually amongst a pack of zombies, but then, I’m a musician, so I don’t see the point of standing still if something is moving you…
What’s wrong with going to a concert to listen to music!!?? If you’re a musician it seems strange to say you would prefer people stay at home and listen to the record in lieu of experiencing the art live. Surely you can understand that music sounds better live than on a recording.
I love to dance, and will frequently do it when listening to live music, but often i prefer to receive it, without having to engage my other mental faculties with physical movement, or singing along. And how many of us have been to a concert and there’s some dancing fool behind you/next to you who keeps bumping into you, spilling beer on you, singing out of tune in your ear to your favorite songs while you’re trying to hear how it’s meant to be heard, or even worse, showing their enthusiasm by whooping and hollering during softer, quieter songs. The last concert i went to, the “MOVING” people completely distracted from a quiet contemplative piece that i had been hoping to hear live for months. If i’m going to a concert, i’m going to listen to the artists, which i paid hard-earned money to see, express themselves through the craft they have honed, not be distracted by the tone def yahoo with no rhythm who can’t mind the personal space of others and my desire to not reek of beer.
Saying people who don’t want to move around in tight quarters surrounded by a large number of other people should stay at home and listen to a CD is just as lame as me saying that all people who like to dance to music instead of giving it their full attention should do the same. Music is for everyone and everyone experiences it differently, to not move is not to be not moved, so simply enjoy!
Now the people who go out to dance clubs and just stand around on the other hand…
I very much agree with the above comment. Well said. If you really wanted to make an accurate generalization about white people, you could have said that they are more likely to go to a dance club and not dance. THAT really does annoy me about people, and it IS way more common amongst white people.
I can’t go out to a club without hearing at least one black person at some point during the night say, “she’s a white girl and she can dance!”
Pages: « 46 … 45 44 43 42 41 [40] 39 38 37 36 35 … 1 » Show All