#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
February 24, 2008 by clander
Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.
For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”
Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly different to the one they live in now.
Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.
Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”
They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.
But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.
Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.
Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere.
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Katie your people, with their lack of perservence, happen to be the reason that the institution of slavery was so heavily dependent upon Africans for labor. Shut the fuck up and get a life. Your ancestors were weak and ignorant then, and apples don’t fall too far from the tree. Drink some fire water and chill out.
I threatened to go to canada because I was tired of texas summers, but thats it.
I think they need to post about white people being offended by obviously ironic statements made on forums/comment sections.
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
HAHAHA, I was an American who often threatened to move to Canada, and then I did. And now I say, “I’d never go back” to all of my canadian friends. They don’t threaten to move anywhere, but when they turn 60, they all go to Florida anyway.
I DID move to Canada. Four years ago. And I live in Toronto and I can tell you the real reason the rest of Canada hates us is because we are way cooler than they are.
Sorry, hosers, had to be said.
We’re moving to Canada, as soon as the visas arrive.
My husband fell into the repatriation law
I’d rather freeze and shovel snow than do this
Im Canadian…i love it here, but just to let u know we all hate toronto i dont know why but we do
haha. I left Toronto and moved to Kingston (Ontario). I hated it because it is turning into NYC. Toronto is ok I guess if you want to live life at Warp 9.
I think this is more of a white liberal phenomenon. I’ve often wondered where white conservatives threaten to go if their guy doesn’t win an election. I assume that if things got too liberal than this hypothetical conservative would threaten to move to a moderately oppressive South American country more in line with his view. Any thoughts?
THIS IS STUPID! Why don’t you black people go back to where you came from, huh?? White people were stupid for sending you here. We native americans don’t want you here so fuck off and die Eggplant!
Katie, I don’t understand why you “native americans” don’t want Black people here, but I guess it’s okay for white people to stay??? How have Blacks been a detriment to your society??? We have done NOTHING to harm the “native american” people. SO, I really don’t understand all the negativity towards us. If y’all really feel like that, then why do so many Black people have native-american ancestry??? There was alot of Race-mixing going on back in the day, so maybe you should just speak for yourself from now on, and not assume all native americans don’t want us here. Y’all don’t “run” America so it really doesn’t matter, huh? You are so sad, all I can do is pray for you!
Katie, why are you so cold towards BLACK people? Black folk are not the ones who threatened your people’s existence!!! We did not come to America and “wipe you out” so why all the negative remarks towards us? If you don’t like us, then fine. You have a right to be as hateful as you want to be. It amazes me when other “dark” skin people like you make comments like that! Hopefully, you aren’t one of thoes people who have “self hate” issues about your skin color. Embrace your heritage and know that you will never be white. God help you, child!
Katie native women are the first to ride black mens dick so shut up, you guys are always in competition with white women for black guys, as if you guys can win any competition, you cant even stay one hour without alcohol lol
lumpy ass
Katie, Katie, Katie. You do realise that this site is not meant to be taken seriously don’t you? It’s satire. Unless of of course you yourself are being satirical. If you’re not, then maybe you should head over to the sites of organisations like the BNP, Combat 18 or the good old KKK. Brilliant!
But FTR, I’m a Brit living in Australia and I do have relatives in Canada.
Actually, this was all ready tried with the “BACK TO AFRICA MOVEMENT” soon after slavery was abolished. However, no one wanted to go and the movement failed. I mean who would want to go back to thached huts, bare feet, lions and bones through your nose??? America must be evil since everyone is trying to get here and no one wants to leave!
There is no such thing as a native american genius. This country was founded by immigrants. So maybe you should consider going back to where you came from.
What do you mean there is no such thing as native americans? Cheyenne? Inuit? Sioux? Cherokee?Hopi? Any of these ring a bell?
The new politically correct them is “indigenous aboriginal first nations people of the continent of North America with Barrow, Alaska included”. There are 560 federal recognized tribes or groups in the USA, plus Alaskan Native peoples and 15 million other Americans (such as myself) of American Indian ancestry according to the 2000 US Census report.
I can win in the “who was first” game in elementary school. One boy said: “My family came over in a Pilgrim’s ship”.
Next: “Mine was in a conquistador ship with Columbus”.
The third: “Nah Ah, mine came over in a Norse-Viking ship”.
The 4th: “No way, they came in a Celtic ship but went back”.
and me: “My people waved at the rest of you come ashore”.
I’m the kind of white person you don’t want around your kids, in social parties or in anyone else’s house, even my friends may throw me out…moneyed white friends. LoL! +
the ice bridge between siberia and alaska. a looooonng time ago. remember that from middle school history?
Europeans threaten to move to Australia
Australians threaten to stay with you at your house.
haha, so true. I spent most of last year in the US, and heard this millions of times. Luckily, I have a non-brainwashed view of Canada, unlike most Canadians who “love the four seasons” and think it is ok to wait 5 years for an operation. I was able to provide many nasty stories about not having healthcare myself despite being Canadian, my folks having to go to the US for a basic brain scan when my mum was refused treatment after waking up blind one day, and telling Californians how much my tuition was (which was 3 times what they were paying…). Dead silence. I loved it. Stay in the US; it is waaaaay better there
McMuffin-
You are obviously not Canadian. Your story simply isn’t true.
I have yet to meet a canadian who ‘loves the 4 seasons’, but rather thousands who hate our 2 seasons of snow and road work.
But wow, I know our health care system isn’t perfect, but you talk about denying service? Really? The whole American health care system is about denying service to those who can’t afford it. My brother (who goes to school in the States) has to come here for basically anything because the cost here is so much less than down there and the service is essentially the same. I also pay the same tuition as my cousin who goes to school in California. See, it can be flipped around! Your broad generalizations are just as idiotic as people thinking that life here is perfect.
Your waitlist really depends on where you live.
5 years is rather exaggerated. Try 6 months not all wait that long. Of course it is still a problem, but I never had to wait more than a week for scheduling a specialist appointment and all my scans and tests and lab work are done instantly.
And the UC system is cheap of course, but only for the Californian resident. I mean if you are going to make a skewed comparison like that I might as well bring up the Quebec system where Quebec residents can pay as little as a thousand dollar for one school term. You average american school will pay twice to possibly five times the tuition amount that you would pay for school with comparable quality in Canada.
Have fun with the Amercian HMOs.
Holy crap!!!! You should have your own blog and a direct line to our mislead socialist president! You are exactly right and everyone should know your stories. I just dont get how people can get behind something so strongly when they know nothing about it!
Our current system is far from perfect but Government run health care is DEFINITELY NOT the right move.
ahh yeah it actually is
‘Steve’ is a bit harsh, however,
RE: ‘Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere’.
Actually, I think the European Union provides ample opportunities for citizens of any member country to move on to another member country. Europeans may be the leaders in this category…
True, I have two cousins on my Dad’s French side attend college in other EU nations: one in Holland and the other in Spain. They would migrated to America for study then return to France, but the EU offers “study vacation” visas good for one year. My cousins can speak either Spanish, Italian, German and Dutch in addition to English. It’s an important skill to be bilingual or trilingual in most of Europe, whether it is the native tongue, English and/or French, and another depending on where you live. +
A very uneducated white American believes all Europeans are the same, and people in France are all French? WRONG. My own French father has some Flemish/Dutch relatives from a village located a few miles west of the Belgian border, an artificial drawn line on the map crosses over the historical Dutch-French ethno-linguistic one. The northern most part of France was equally close to the Netherlands as much they were with…England 40 miles across the Channel. The French government promotes the idea all people in France are “French”, even though parts of the nation touching other lands have non-French minorities, such as the Basques, Bretons, Alsatians, Savoyards and Corsicans on an island where emperor Napoleon came from +
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