#78 Multilingual Children
February 28, 2008 by clander
All white people want their children to speak another language. There are no exceptions. They dream about the children drifting in between French and English sentences as they bustle about the kitchen while they read the New York Times and listen to Jazz.
As white people age, they start to feel more and more angry with their parents for raising them in a monolingual home. At some point in their lives, most white people attempt to learn a second language and are generally unable to get past ordering in a restaurant or over-pronouncing a few key words. This failure is not attributed to their lack of effort, but rather their parents who didn’t teach them a new language during their formative years.
White people believe that if they had been given French language instruction when they were younger, their lives would have turned out very differently. Instead of living in the US, they would be living and working abroad for the United Nations or some other organization with a headquarters in Switzerland or The Hague.
Generally, white people prefer their children to speak French. Advanced white people will actually spend outrageous amounts of money to send their children to a Lycee or Ecole Francaise. But the vast majority will abandon their dreams when they realize that need a second mortgage so their child can have a better study abroad experience in France.
Languages such as German, Spanish, Swedish, or Italian are also acceptable, but are considered to be poor substitutes (especially Spanish). At the time of writing, it is still considered expert-level white person behavior to have white children speaking Asian and African languages.
There is only one way to use this information to your advantage: speaking another language means that white people are more likely to want to have children with you. It is seen as a cheaper alternative to language schools.
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We have language laws in Canada. You have to take French from grades 4 to 9 or you’re not allowed to graduate high school. Seriously. It’s even more hardcore in Quebec. The signs must be in both languages, French must be bigger and it must be on top. Even here in Ontario everything is English and French.
Well, I would not say it’s “hardcore” in Quebec, I would say it’s normal. There is about 7 millions people in Quebec, and most of them speak French. And more, french people in Canada are surrounded by english language, so it’s normal for them to have laws to protect their language.
correct- western canada has no language laws.. it’s pathetic! bilingual country my ass!
WHITE MAN
Your day’s never over,
Your work’s never through!
Though you’ve tamed most of the heathen and the barbarians too!
‘Massa, thanks for ‘lectricity and the (Ah So!) internet too!
WHITEMAN, THE WHOLE WORLD’S DEPENDING ON YOU!
They tried to say that ‘you can’t jump’.
But, you made it to the moon without having to dunk.
You might not have much rhythm,
But you can (steal) carry a good tune,
WHITEMAN, THE WHOLE WORLD’S DEPENDING ON YOU!
You made it through civil rights and women’s lib too,
You’ve been through a lot, good buddy, no wonder you can sing the blues!
If the world’d open their eyes, they’d see that in the past you’re not really stuck,
Even though you still fly a rebel flag, at least it’s on a Japanese pickup truck!
Black may be beautiful, and tan may be grand,
But white’s still the color of the BIG BOSS MAN!
’Ask not’ (J.F.K.) whether it’s true,
WHITEMAN, THE WHOLE WORLD’S DEPENDING ON YOU!
The world doesn’t understand your level of stress,
Every minute’s a Malox moment, but that’s the price of success!
You watch your laptop for the first sign of loss,
Well, it’s time you paid the cost to be the boss!
Don’t drop the ball now and lose the home court advantage,
Or we’ll all have to say the pledge of allegiance in Spanish!(‘Press Uno for English’)
Only you can straighten out the world’s condition,
‘Cause you were properly conceived in the missionary position!
Stand up like a white man and do your white duty,
Or we’ll all be blown to hell by sheik your booty!
ASK NOT whether, Hillary or Obama can rule,
WHITE MAN, THE WHOLE WORLD’S DEPENDING ON YOU!
Sincerely,
Uncle Sambone
(The love-child of Uncle Sam & one
Of his female slaves)
In memory of Col. Paul Tibbets, Pilot of the Enola Gay, and all the faithful sidekicks of
‘Bwana’ …..(next page)
Jimmy Olson (Superman)
Lightning (Amos & Andy)
Poncho (Cisco Kid)
Tonto (Lone Ranger)
Robin (Batman)
Pepina (The Real McCoys)
Cheetah (Tarzan)
Trigger (Roy Rangers)
Birmingham (Charlie Chan…A whiteman in disguise)
Mingo (Daniel Boone)
Kato (The Green Horne)
Rin-Tin-Tin (If Custer had had him, he might have won!)
Rochester (Jack Benny)
Timmy (Lassie, was a ‘white’ dog!)
Uncle Ben/Aunt Jemima (Betty Crocker)
Chester & Festus (Mat Dillion, a protégé’ of John Wayne, who didn’t need a sidekick!)
Barnie Fife (Andy Griffin)
‘Condor’leeza Rice (W.)
i hate children, especially newborns
Cool. So when the first soon-to-be-elected-then-shot black presidental candidate gets on TV and chastizes the American public for only knowing one language, he’s thinking like his white mother? Right. Black people already know a second language: Ebonics.
shut up.
HA
heres what i cant understand:
Why would a parent want his son/daughter to learn a language he himself does not understand?
Easy. So when the child gets older they can translate for the parents. They don’t even have to do it, they can get a tutor. Mexican born parents do that to their children ALL the time. They wanna come here for a better life but they’re too lazy to learn the language properly so they come here anyway, breed, send the kids to American schools so they’ll learn english while their brains are still sponges and when they come home they converse in spanish so when they’re older they’ll be billingual and get better jobs. Messed up, huh? But its pretty smart when you think about it.
Here is a joke for you all regarding the subject.
What do you call a person who speaks 2 languages ?
A bilingual.
What do you call a person who speaks many languages ?
Multilingual.
What do you call a person who speaks 1 language ?
American.
LOL
3ndy
shutup
Spanish is great! What else do the staff speak? I had some Haitians but their French was just crazy! I think my private school had a little bit more of a clue about French than your forebears Mademoiselle!
That’s because they don’t speak French, they speak Patois.
I would rather speak Spanish any day. At least with Spanish you are able to communicate with almost all of Latin America, and it would also facilitate your learning of Portuguese and Italian.
For economic reasons, wouldn’t you rather learn the language that might provide you with opportunities in developing countries.
French? seriously? Waste of time. Learn Chinese, Russian, Arabic. French is useless in the modern world. More people speak English than they do French.
Oh yeah. With Russian, Chinese, and Arabic? You’ll get a awesome paying and exciting job with the FBI, CIA, the U.N., etc. Those are the languages that really matter in this age we live in. Learn French only if you wanna live in France cause you are not gonna use it in the U.S., Learn Spanish if you plan on moving to the southern west coast (which is what I am doing) and Texas. I still want to learn either Russian, Japanese of Mandarin.
um, that’s kinda the point. haha.
In California there is a law that makes it illegal for a public school teacher to speak Spanish to a student anyplace but in a Spanish class. I was a bilingual teacher and I had to retire, rather than comply with that disgusting law. You can tell I’m still rather bitter. In any event, I would say that being bilingual in any language other than Spanish is considered a plus to most white people. To speak Spanish, however, is seen as de classé.
There may be some well-meaning people who have somehow come to believe that English-only education is a kindness but they are wrong. English-only education is cruel, short-sighted and downright STUPID.
Here in GA you HAVE to have some experience (2 full credits) in a second language or you will not graduate. I think its because our population of Hispanics is increasing to almost the same amount as southern CA
Bobbi – sorry you felt you had to retire. Couldn’t you have taught Spanish or some special classes?
Kids in America must learn to speak English, and quickly, too, or we are doing them a great disservice.
“To speak Spanish, however, is seen as déclassé.”
I don’t get that impression, at least not living here on East Coast. I learned Spanish as an adult, btw.
Regards,
Steve “I’m Not White, I’m Jewish!” Rosenbach
My kids speak Czech
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