#78 Multilingual Children
February 28, 2008 by clander
All white people want their children to speak another language. There are no exceptions. They dream about the children drifting in between French and English sentences as they bustle about the kitchen while they read the New York Times and listen to Jazz.
As white people age, they start to feel more and more angry with their parents for raising them in a monolingual home. At some point in their lives, most white people attempt to learn a second language and are generally unable to get past ordering in a restaurant or over-pronouncing a few key words. This failure is not attributed to their lack of effort, but rather their parents who didn’t teach them a new language during their formative years.
White people believe that if they had been given French language instruction when they were younger, their lives would have turned out very differently. Instead of living in the US, they would be living and working abroad for the United Nations or some other organization with a headquarters in Switzerland or The Hague.
Generally, white people prefer their children to speak French. Advanced white people will actually spend outrageous amounts of money to send their children to a Lycee or Ecole Francaise. But the vast majority will abandon their dreams when they realize that need a second mortgage so their child can have a better study abroad experience in France.
Languages such as German, Spanish, Swedish, or Italian are also acceptable, but are considered to be poor substitutes (especially Spanish). At the time of writing, it is still considered expert-level white person behavior to have white children speaking Asian and African languages.
There is only one way to use this information to your advantage: speaking another language means that white people are more likely to want to have children with you. It is seen as a cheaper alternative to language schools.
Pages: « 98 … 91 90 89 88 87 [86] 85 84 83 82 81 … 1 » Show All
white kids should learn latin, first… then english, then every other latin based laguage… even if they suck at english knowing latin will let you communicate with almost anyone, as long as you can think too.
English is not a Latin based language. English is a Germanic (or Teutonic) language, part of the Indo-European Language group. 70% of English vocabulary is based on French, due to the centuries of the French and English sharing and warring over territory. However, due to the influx of people from all over the world, the English Language in America over the last century has evolved into almost it’s own language. Furthermore, the constant re-invention and invigoration of African Americans has helped make English a crucial and universal language.
Expecting someone to learn Latin to understand English is a misleading concept. A better suggestion might be to say that learrning any new language helps you understand your own native tongue, which is the case.
Correct, but half the English language is from Norman French from the time the Normans ruled England and most of the Britainnic isles. Norman itself is a partially Germanic tongue mixed with the already mixed French langauge of Gaullic (Celtic), Roman (Latin) and some Frankish tribes of southwest Germany. French is said to have Greek, Moorish and Iberian words from previous rulers of the country in the last 2,000 years. +
Mary, your comment of July 29 made me laugh. Hilariuos, because I remember a friend who’s parents were true WASPs from New Hampshire and that describes them perfectly. they thought they were so hip with old records of Mirielle Mathieu and Jacque Brel and paying for French lessons. So basically, this Scots-English family was going around the house trying to speak to each other in French. Of course, they were in the middle of south Texas, but they never got the memo that we speak Spanish and English,not french and English.
LoL! New England has alot of French-Canadian roots: how come northernmost Maine, parts of Vermont and several towns in New Hampshire have Franco-Canadien/Canado-Americane social clubs or meeting places like a fraternity of some kind? The US census report in 1990 found 10-15% of residents in Manchester, Maine; Barre, Vermont and Augusta, Maine reported to have French a first language. +
swedish? really?
You should absolutely teach them Swedish! And Chinese! A wonderful combination. Även om jag inte riktigt förstår vad de ska med svenskan till egentligen…
“Även om jag inte riktigt förstår vad de ska med svenskan till egentligen…” Can be considered an entry level white person comment in Sweden which should equate to high/expert level in the US
The highest leel white people speak ZULU, Nelson Mandela’s click language! IXOXO=FROG!Iqanda=egg!!
I enjoy drifting between English and broken French, merci beaucoup.
Also, French immersion or “Ecole Francaise” is free in Canada.
White kid learning to speak Latin, that’ll really come in handy! But I do love it, not to mention my parents aren’t the ones making me it’s actually my school.
I’ve heard it said that if you speak many languages you’re multi-lingual. If you speak two languages you’re bi-lingual. If you speak one language you’re American (or English. Or Australian).
Whatever, dude. If your kid can’t speak two languages from birth, you’re just basically a bad parent. Go put on your old navy fleece and crocs and vote Republican because you’re not white enough. Comprendez-vous?
Hola Jonny,
I hope your kids speak better French than you do!
Comprenez-vous!
Met vriendelijke groeten,
PacMan
Buenas tardes PacMan. What languages do you speak (I mean, other than being able to look up French phrases on the internet)? How about your kid(s)?
oh. my. goodness. This sentence right here describes my father perfectly- “They dream about the children drifting in between French and English sentences as they bustle about the kitchen while they read the New York Times and listen to Jazz.” My father loves jazz (is a former jazz musician), loves the New York Times, and is so happy that my little brother is learning French in school. Hilarious!
Pages: « 98 … 91 90 89 88 87 [86] 85 84 83 82 81 … 1 » Show All