#78 Multilingual Children
February 28, 2008 by clander
All white people want their children to speak another language. There are no exceptions. They dream about the children drifting in between French and English sentences as they bustle about the kitchen while they read the New York Times and listen to Jazz.
As white people age, they start to feel more and more angry with their parents for raising them in a monolingual home. At some point in their lives, most white people attempt to learn a second language and are generally unable to get past ordering in a restaurant or over-pronouncing a few key words. This failure is not attributed to their lack of effort, but rather their parents who didn’t teach them a new language during their formative years.
White people believe that if they had been given French language instruction when they were younger, their lives would have turned out very differently. Instead of living in the US, they would be living and working abroad for the United Nations or some other organization with a headquarters in Switzerland or The Hague.
Generally, white people prefer their children to speak French. Advanced white people will actually spend outrageous amounts of money to send their children to a Lycee or Ecole Francaise. But the vast majority will abandon their dreams when they realize that need a second mortgage so their child can have a better study abroad experience in France.
Languages such as German, Spanish, Swedish, or Italian are also acceptable, but are considered to be poor substitutes (especially Spanish). At the time of writing, it is still considered expert-level white person behavior to have white children speaking Asian and African languages.
There is only one way to use this information to your advantage: speaking another language means that white people are more likely to want to have children with you. It is seen as a cheaper alternative to language schools.
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Why the hell is Spanish considered a poor subtitute as a second language?? It’s pretty useful.
My dad so wanted us to learn another language when we were little… We had “See it and Say it in Spanish” – yes Daddy wanted us to learn Spanish… and my bnrother and I, having moved to a 2nd world country (Israel) are now bilingual Eng-Heb…
lol..this is way too funny, and from my experiance living in a “gentrified, mulit-lingual community” I have to agree. I wonder however, why is it that white folk, would deem any other second language aside from french, or chinese, not as chic or cool? The Latino population seems to outnumber many other immigrant populations, so why not be gung ho about speaking spanish? Perhaps there is some sort of pervasive prejudice that exists.
Now what about “Spanglish” the main language in barrios across the country? Mexican-Americans in the southwest started the dialect of mixed English, Spanish and Aztecan words. This is an ethnic group lived in the region in some cases 500 years (i.e. south Texas, northern New Mexico or the California coastline), therefore the Mexican-American presence does predate the Mayflower and Juan Cortez in Tenochtitlan (present-day Mexico city). +
nice to meet you there laliz .
you couldn’t say it any better.
Eu posso falar portuguese, e eu acho que e muito importante e util para saber isso em esto mundo…
I don’t see the problem with bilingualism. To say its a “white” thing, I don’t necessarily agree with. The world is globalizing, and more and more cultures and interacting with each other. Therefore, communication between multiple cultures is key.
Plus, it helps with getting laid.
This is wonderful. You’ve actually just profiled my life.
http://www.culturallycool.com
Oh shut up.
White people (American white, or course) have the luxury of only being obligated to know English. I really could give a damn if my kids learn Spanish or Cantonese. Teaching a kid another language is almost like raising another child in entirety. I know it’s important to my culture: I have to teach my kids about black slavery, cuban communism, and chinese new year! damn, it’s too just much work.
When I have those bad boys, I just pray their dad is Brazilian so I knock a few of these out in one shot.
(Just joking. Don’t crucify me.)
VAI TOMA NO CU, FILHA DA PUTA
hahaha nahhh just playing
It’s absolutely amazing. We’ve got everyone in the world, a giant plethora of ignorance and I didn’t have the heart to dig through it all to find something worth reading.
Truth is, speak what you want where you want to, the spanish like to think they are conquering america because they are… moving here? Because they won’t better their own countries
That’s fine. We’ve got plenty room.
The blacks want to think they are important, which I understand, it’s cute. You’ve got that whole we were abused (Not we actually a few of your ancestors, and I do mean a FEW) by being bought and forced into slavery.
Funny
yeno since none of you know anything of slavery yet you still like to ride that horse dontcha?
And then we’ve got ignorant whites, chanting USA and making out with their sisters, filling the role of the ignorant jock in the group. That’s dandy too.
I’ll go ahead and just break some things done for you all.
America is for everyone, regardless of any sort of status you may have be it racial, social, sexual, whatever. It will always be for everyone. If any one type of people tries to take over, or take too much, the others will keep them in check. For those of you who don’t understand, if the hispanics get too pushy and try to claim “conquerers”, well then the whites will kill them. Alot of them, you can say street cred, thug life all you want. They’ve got alot of firepower and standing. And if the blacks try to do anything it will just be the same, and the same goes for the whites. You all will keep each other in check. It’ll be cute though the day one of the idiot races pushes the other races too far
I hope I’m somewhere safe when it all happens.
Maybe you’ll all just kill each other off
and we can be done with the drama.
Comments like this are absolutely amazing. This is a somewhat slightly borderline dumb post in itself yet the person posting has the gall to blast whole groups of people. No offense but earth to your all so sad and confused, darling if you live here, you are affected in some degree for better and admittedly worse by some American traits yourself-warts and all since you are in proximity to all the ills that you say infect everyone else! No offense, I’m just being honest here; and one more thing, there are disagreements here or there in other places too. I am not trying to make the US look better and other places worse either, (there a places that rule and suck to varying degrees and time influences when and how) I am simply saying that other places have their share of conflicts every once in a while as well. Nevertheless, I sincerly hope you are safe if stuff hits the fan or I simply hope you like whereever you stay should you ever decide to leave here, I am just expressing my very humble opinion!It would be quite ok if you stayed or left since I hope you enjoy life, again I am just expressing my very humble opinion!
wow last time i checked the school system wanted multilingual children as well. what a great display of ignorance this is!!!
white people also look down at others who do not understand the English language well enough to recognize sarcasm or parody. To them, this is worse than not speaking it at all.
French might seem to impress as a cultural thing. In reality Spanish, Mandarin, Hindi and Arabic are far more useful in today’s World. Even though French is widely spoken in Africa.
http://www.poeticmotherlover.com
I totally agree……………… I’m a third generation non-residential Indian living in a former colony of the British Empire and due to my heritage, speak four languages….. and Hindi is one of them……. which is very important in the modern world since almost a sixth of the planet’s population speak Hindi of some form or another.
Ironically, my parents enrolled me in Mandarin classes before they started me on German, French and Spanish in that order. With my sister they also attempted to add Italian into the mix, but by this point I was no longer being homeschooled and didn’t have to deal with their clumsy attempts at language instruction.
Nobody should learn Arabic. if the terrorists want to talk to us they need to learn English
Why do all white people assume that anyone who speaks Arabic is automatically a terrorist? Someone who even looks Arab makes people nervous at places like airports and sidewalk cafes………. I’ve heard of incidences where Punjabis got mistaken for Arabs just because of their beards…… it’s getting crazier by the day!!!
cunt
“Um No”, you are an example of why people from other nations view the U.S. as one of the most ignorant countries in the world. Diplomatically the United States needs to start making a bigger effort to bridge the gap between Islamic countries and the West, or we’re only going to see the continued proliferation of terrorism and extremism in these countries. One way to do this would be to make more of an effort and learn their language. It’d be a start at least.
And you are example of humorless preacher.
“Um No”, you are an example of why people from other nations view the U.S. as one of the most ignorant countries in the world. Diplomatically the United States needs to start making a bigger effort to bridge the gap between Islamic countries and the West, or we’re only going to see the continued proliferation of terrorism and extremism in these countries.
Americans should stay Arabic the same way Arab speaking countries learn English: which language to use first and foremost? I knew some Middle Eastern countries are former French colonies or territories: Libya, Syria and Lebanon come to mind. Israel is officially Hebrew, then English and Arabic, and the common presence of Russian in government documents for newly-arrived “Refuseniks” from the former USSR. +
White people also like to have their infants and toddlers learn sign language so parents can communicate with their kids before they learn to speak.
That way they can claim their children are “advanced.” Having an “advanced” child is better than working for a nonprofit, but not quite as good as having an advanced degree in some obscure field. ;+)
or because they want to understand their child. Not just neglect them and let them scream. I think it’s more a matter of actually caring.
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