#79 Modern Furniture
March 2, 2008 by clander
When white people envision their dream home, a key part of the fantasy involves a least one piece of furniture designed by a famous architect from the 1930s.
Architects like Mies van der Rohe and Le Corbusier designed iconic modern furniture that has inspired virtually everything made by Ikea and Design Within Reach, both of which are key suppliers of furniture to white people.
But as with all things, white people will do whatever it takes to secure authenticity including paying thousands of dollars for a small piece of furniture.
If they are able to acquire this prized furniture, they will forever refer to it only by the designers name. “I spend hours in the van der Rohe, just looking through these beautiful books of his work.”
Referring to a white person’s expensive chair as a ‘chair’ is considered poor form and will likely result in a loss of trust and/or respect.
The best strategy for avoiding this faux pas is to look for the most uncomfortable chair in a white person’s home and ask “who designed that?” If they say “Ikea” or “Design within Reach” you can call it a chair, otherwise refer to it only by the name they give you.
It should also be noted that many white people are unable to acquire this furniture, but that does not mean you cannot use this information to your advantage.
In situations where you need to improve your connection with a white person, just mention how you hope to be successful enough to one day afford an original piece of furniture by <insert obscurely named architect>. If they have heard of the designer they will nod in agreement, if they have not, they will also nod in agreement and make a note to look it up later.
In either case, your status will rise.
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It’s so true… a small piece of furniture I would throw away immediately out of my house in the exclusive “design” brand furniture shops costs thousands of euros… What a crap
#258 You’re right.
This site isn’t so much “White” as it is metrosexual and jewish.
i don’t think there’s any crude humor here, or anything that would appear racist. It’s not trying to point out any negative stereotypes, but just poking fun at certain things … some obvious, some not.
Herman Miller furniture … yum
Hey, I like my yoga chair.
See, I’m not upset. But I think it’s being unfair to minorities. I don’t know exactly how to put how feel about it.
It’s not like taking the piss out of white people is something new, Chappelle did it in every show he did. So did Eddie Murphy and Rich Pryor. It was easily half their material (at least of what I’ve seen).
But you raise an excellent point Canadian Nature Lover. White people think less about race being that we aren’t discriminated against as much. They talk about it in literary theory as standpoint theory, the advantage of the minority is that they are forced to see the majority, whereas the majority tend to be blind to minorities.
do white people even call themselves white?!?
maybe that’s why people like S Dot get defensive and upset– just knowing that other people are talking about ‘white people’. They’re like, ‘who are they referring to? Moi? I have never had to confront my race. I’m just me. White, purple, black, polka dotted. What’s the difference? Can’t we all just be colour blind?”
These are just some thoughts (just what I was feelin’ at the time!)
I read this and I can’t help but to think that, well, doesn’t this site imply that blacks or other minorities are philistines, which is itself a racist idea. Isn’t that reverse racism in a way? As if black people don’t also like this stuff? By doing that is it reinforcing a negative self-image for black people (or other minorities)? I understand that for comedy purposes, you have to put stuff simply, so it’s not like I’m not laughing with this guy. I just feel provoked somehow.
Y’all should read Obama’s first book (if you haven’t already, I am currently reading it), excellent modern racial commentary. Very levelheaded. I love Barak cause he is the best alternative to Clinton, not cause I am afraid to prefer a white candidate. What else you wanna know? Shit I should start a “what white people really think/Ask a white dude” blog. I’ll tell it how it is, at least from my perspective.
Upper class black people love all this shit too (though they might “keep it real” by eating Fried Chicken sometimes and listening to Aretha Franklin or something). All upper class/elitist love this “stuff,” but not all white people are rich or highly educated.
I mean, this blog has a fair caricature of white people, and I like that it’s provoking me. It is funny, and I good to laugh at myself. And if it promotes a dialogue, all the better.
what about Pottery Barn furniture? Or better yet, the Target knock-off’s? In fact, knock-off’s in general we love.
lol! I love how people can’t accept this as satire. How about ‘#80: White People Love Over Reacting’?
No, we want a retort, because it brings these issues into the light.
Being reserved and polite ==> a white value ==> hypocrisy.
Let frankness reign.
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