#80 The Idea of Soccer
March 3, 2008 by clander
Many white people will tell you that they are very into soccer. But be careful, it’s a trap.
If you then attempt to engage them about your favorite soccer team or talk about famous moments in soccer history, you are likely to be met with blank stares. This is because white people don’t actually enjoy watching soccer, they just like telling their friends that they are into it.
In fact, the main reason white people like soccer is so they can buy a new scarf. As you may or may not know, many soccer teams issue special scarves, and white people cannot get enough of them!
Most white people choose a favorite soccer team based on either a study abroad experience or a particularly long vacation to Europe or South America. When they return, they like to tell their friends about how great “football” is and that they are committed to ‘getting more into’ now that they have returned home.
Some white people take this charade so far as to actually play in adult soccer leagues or attend a local professional match.
The best method for exploiting this is to ask a white person who their favorite football team is and how they came to be fans. This will allow them to tell you about their time abroad and feel as though they have impressed you with their knowledge. Once they have finished talking, it is acceptable to ask for favors.
Note: Europeans are actually into Soccer and are exempt from this entry, however they are free to use it to their advantage when in North America.
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…coached baseball…my assistant coach used to call soccer kids “field fairies”.
In Southern Cal. you’re gonna bump into Mexican, Central American, Southeast Asian, Middle-eastern and Eastern European (the “white ones”) cheering for a national or local soccer team, in sports clubs and small businesses in ethnic neighborhoods or communities. You’re gonna see Latinos wearing Cruz Azul, Chivas, Club America and the green Mexican team uniforms as well caps or shorts with the logo.
Guilty, guilty and guilty although I will sit down and watch a match if I’m not buying organic foods at the farmers’ market! I love to research the billionaire owners for my blog StuffRichPeopleLove.com! These men are buying sports teams like strippers buy anti-microbial soap. Well, at least they were before the economic crisis…it hurt everyone differently!
ah.. here goes that football (soccer) vs american football debate again.. why dont all of you try to play badminton instead. it’s more manly.
Hey Mr. Wasp, show some support, we played a bloody good game this summer and had those cheeky brazilians up against the wall at half time.
were trying very hard to bring our country some international sporting credentials. Perhaps if you wouldn’t masturbate all night long and try to cheer us on, we could win the world cup in south africa. (if you can manage the masturbation and the cheering, all the better, Personally I find it a little too strenuous)
many thanks, from rainy Fulham
love you dempsey, in a totally straight sports fan way f**k wasp
Americans hate soccer with a passion. We will always insult it no matter what. We will always question the masculinity of the millions who play it and the billions who watch it, nothing will change that. We are superior because we are American, our sports are superior, foreign sports are inferior.
This is the mindset that no matter what you soccer fags will never change. America’s culture and sports dominate the world. Soccer is inferior, for weak people of lesser physical and mental stature to Americans. Soccer sucks. Soccer sucks, America will always think this you soccerfags.
Americans insult the masculinity of football (soccer)???
This is coming from a nation whose finest athletes feel they have to strap on 45lbs of protective gear and a helmet just to play glorified rugby???
American hicks think European guys turned “gay” or some dumb, false or culturally misunderstood things. Are Italians, Spaniards and Greeks known to flaunt their masculinity more than even the most “macho-manly-chav” Americans? southern European cultures, as well found in the rest of the Mediteranean peoples, have traditional sense of maschist pride or attitudes. In these societies until recent decades, men dominated society and women were subordinate, kept at the home and faced cultural restrictions or laws to have enforced male superiority in countries of southern Europe.
Yes, but we invented you. That’s right, Europe invented America. I’m sorry, but there it is. Look, I’m not being funny, but it’s kind of like some scientists (us) inventing a self-aware robot (you). It can only ultimately do what the scientists (us again, hellooo!) tell it (you I’m afraid) to do, think, know and believe. And before you get any funny ideas about robots turning on their masters, that only happens on TELEVISION. it’s NOT REAL. That is to say, it DOESN’T HAPPEN. Try saying your comments here in LITTLE PIDDLETON! The sheep would SODDING WELL UNBUTTON YOU!!! NOW YOU’VE GOT ME ALL OF A RUDDY DITHER!!!!!! I SHALL BLOODY MINCE AWAY NOW!!!! F***ING TOODLE PIPPPPPPPPTHBTHBTHBTH!!!
Tool. The sheep are full of dither? What does that even mean? Look, seriously, if the Revolutionary War wasn’t enough, there was the war of 1812, the Spanish-American War (you’re welcome), World War 1 (the Great War to you – you’re welcome) and WWII (you’re once again welcome). The happy truth is that our American culture was originally the result of a bunch of people not wanting to be European. It was only a product of independence and not being subservient to a person with imaginary influence (i.e. king/queen). We prefered freedom. However, a lot of rednecks and euro trash might not like this, but it was the influence of indians, blacks, hispanics and asians that worked together with whites to create the dynamic force that is the dominant world culture now. Now people like jeans, rock and roll, burgers, fake blonds with big fake knockers (no matter their race), movies, light bulbs, TV electricity, road trips, the sweet smell of freedom… Again, on behalf of America (white, black, brown, yellow, red), you’re welcome.
…….revolutionary war bitch
Wow Mr. Angry WASP. You are totally the “wrong kind of white person.” But I digress. What a display of intelligence on your part, btw! You made America proud! “Soccerfags!” What an original and witty comment!
What I really do not understand is the supposed link between sport and masculinity. Rather, the fact that there seems to be an obsession amongst many Americans, much like Mr. WASP, to focus on the supposed aggressiveness of certain sports to the masculinity of those participating in them. “Oooh, ’soccerfags’ wear shorts and kick a ball around, that makes them soft faggots!” Jesus Christ, grow up. The ironic thing that the U.S. has this large mass of soft, overindulged middle class dolts who truly believe that since their sports are “tough” and “masculine” then they must be the same. The truth is that in most places around the world, football is a working class sport, and their fans and participant are much tougher than you, living in harsher environments. Really, its kinda a bit like the rich douchebag with a small penis who drives the H2 Hummer or Ferrari around town, just to compensate for said penis. And the audacity of those like Mr. WASP to fail to recognize the obvious is plain old hilarious.
Anyway, while I don’t advocate violence, I’d just love for Mr. WASP to spew those statements in East London, or Moss Side Manchester, or in any of the rough areas of the UK, or in East Europe, etc. saying that (proper) football is a “gay” sport. I’m sure they would love to give you their opinion on the matter.
I think you need to understand the great difference between countries like Australia and the US where there are dominant violent football codes in place of soccer and what it is to be a soccer fan in these places. I grew up in Sydney and the working class game was always rugby league. Soccer on the other hand was seen as essentially an ethnic’s or a “poofter’s” game. Now, “poofter” was more or less code for middle class white people who suffer a cultural cringe at the thought of supporting an indigenous code like AFL or Rugby League (rugby league, while being of English origin has evolved thanks to largely Australian innovations – thus we claim it as our own). These people don’t really like team sports as a rule, and are as far removed from the EPL “stab my team’s rival fans in the face with a rusty lawnmower blade” supporter as you can get. They, as this article indicates, like the “idea” that they are showing their cultural openness and sophistication by supporting the “word game”. Though in reality this is tantamount to arguing that eating MacDonalds is a cultural transcendent experience that speaks to one’s worldliness.
Personally that’s why I hate soccer… not the game itself, but the bourgeois self-satisfied middle class white people that grin and but in to say “I support the world game” whenever you talk about how your NRL team is doing with your mates. Soccer may be a working class game in Europe, but in Australia – if you’re not a poor European immigrant – you’re a middle class white kid who likes the idea of soccer and would rather not get hurt playing the likes of Rugby League, AFL or Union.
Hey American-friend. How does it feel to play rugby with large amounts of armour? You question masculinity while your “manliest” game involves wearing protection.
Rugby we do the same, but with only a helmet… and not one of those full face ones you girls wear.
American sports really suck, too many commercials breaks it is unwatchable a 60 min game take 3 hours. and in the NBA they have extra breaks just for the fucking commercials, and I love the time out “I’m tired – time out!!”
fucking pussies!
This is the mindset that no matter what you soccer fags will never change. America’s culture and sports dominate the world.
——————–
You realize nobody else in the world watches American football. They tried the NFL in Europe thing and it failed so miserably, they finally had to shut it down after 7 years.
MLS has been around for 15 years and it will continue to thrive despite your hatred towards it. It’s because their business model is a lot more solid than NFL Europe.
Now I need a cup of fair trade coffee
why do I use so many names? I wanted to keep my beloved Micheal D. name untouched, but those nigras got to me.
Yoink
yoink
yoink
my name is soiled forever. +
Y-0-I-N-K!
My 5th one I used while I reply on SWPL. What sport you’re guaranteed to “never” see a black person in? Ice hockey. There are 10 non-white players in the NHL besides Paul Kariya or Chris Simon, Scott Gomez or…who’s the “black guy” captain of the Edmonton Oilers or Calgary Flames? +
I think he is Ed MacInnis…and you can be called racist for saying that! Better safe not to refer “your people” to any non-white, esp. African-Americans dread to have a white person to use the phrase around them in their expense. You see, there are (a few) black people in pro ice hockey.
One way I love exploiting a good euro match, espcacially in the US is to give the yanks a bit of an ol’ kickin’ in the arse from the old working class euro roots so that the little pouty soft bottom bastards can learn what’s it like to have some passion for the game rather than playing the pseudo football fan who just wants to massage their yanky ego with how eurocentric they are, most likely due to their own insecurities of their belonging to their own culture…..TYPICAL AMERICAN BEHAVIOUR…. and a weakness I must say…do a test on you american friends today…..ask them about their ancestory and they will give you percentages of at least 3 countries that they supposely have….I guess they all have labs and measure their fucking blood. How puratinical and in the same time hypocritical that is….and so here they are standing in the football terraces with the euros who simply love the game without all that complexed shite that haunts Yanks till this very day….yes yes…
If two of my grandparents are of Irish descent, one is of Austrian descent, and one is of French descent, am I going to say all that when someone asks me about it? No. I’m going to say “I’m half Irish, a quarter Austrian, and a quarter French.” It’s quicker and easier to say. We don’t “supposedly” have that ancestry, we do have that ancestry. Our ancestors came over here to the U.S. from all over the world and intermarried with one another, so we don’t have a national identity with respect to ethnicity because of that. “American” is a nationality, not an ethnicity, so we identify with our ancestors’ ethnicity. How is that hypocritical and puritanical?
Americans are not a “race” but anti-Americanism, alike anti-Semitism, is a global phenomena built in many countries who envy, dislike and oppose American intervention in their cultures, politics and morality. Americanization is feared all over the world, as if the whole world adapted American ways of life…or correctly, 19th century western civilization has overwhelm the local national cultures in the third world.
Arthur, what are you talking about? Try to explain that a little better. Do you mean some Americans try to hold on to some history in their ancestry that some may not really have?
BTW-are you a West Ham supporter?
whatever, I am born and raised in the U.S. I love true football (known as soccer in the US) as it is known around the world. We play it and live it in our family, it is practically our religion in our house.
Its not just white, we have a friend that played on the Nigerian National team, our son plays w. his son, families from India, Korea, England, Italy, and more.
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