#80 The Idea of Soccer
March 3, 2008 by clander
Many white people will tell you that they are very into soccer. But be careful, it’s a trap.
If you then attempt to engage them about your favorite soccer team or talk about famous moments in soccer history, you are likely to be met with blank stares. This is because white people don’t actually enjoy watching soccer, they just like telling their friends that they are into it.
In fact, the main reason white people like soccer is so they can buy a new scarf. As you may or may not know, many soccer teams issue special scarves, and white people cannot get enough of them!
Most white people choose a favorite soccer team based on either a study abroad experience or a particularly long vacation to Europe or South America. When they return, they like to tell their friends about how great “football” is and that they are committed to ‘getting more into’ now that they have returned home.
Some white people take this charade so far as to actually play in adult soccer leagues or attend a local professional match.
The best method for exploiting this is to ask a white person who their favorite football team is and how they came to be fans. This will allow them to tell you about their time abroad and feel as though they have impressed you with their knowledge. Once they have finished talking, it is acceptable to ask for favors.
Note: Europeans are actually into Soccer and are exempt from this entry, however they are free to use it to their advantage when in North America.
Pages: « 94 … 89 88 87 86 85 [84] 83 82 81 80 79 … 1 » Show All
lol seriously though this is probably why the Sounders team is so popular up here in the Pacific Northwest.
More and more this list is becoming “things liberal wealthy white people in the Northwest like”
In the late 1970′s and early 80s, Professional soccer like roller derby was a brief fad for every sizable populated city or market have a team. Anyone remember the NASL? Nope I guess not, the ABA basketball and WHA hockey leagues died out by 1978 thanks to low finances and the recession. The Los Angeles Aztecs, San Diego Sockers and California Sunshine of Orange county never got the money to pay soccer legend Pele to play, those New Yorkers and Tampa-Miami crowd. I LMAO at the bygone/defunct/folded teams: the Tulsa Roughnecks, Provo Strikers and Anaheim Splash. +
Yo. Soccer, football … – it is played by femals! Anything else to say?- Z.
AMERICA THE LAND OF THE HOMELESS AND THE BUMS TAKING A SHOT AT THE REST OF THE WORLD!
bY THE WAY “DUDE” THE NAME OF THE GAME IS FOOTBALL.
No, dude. The land of the homeless and bums would be Australia or the UK. We are the land of the free and home of the braves. Free because we fought for our independence unlike Aussie that is still England’s piss pot and brave ’cause we ain’t scared to blow you Aussies away with our glocks, Magnums and .45 Colts, and unlike Aussies, we weren’t pussy to surrender our guns.
i hate soccer
and football
ftw
NFL football, CFL football (metric measurements), Rugby in Britain, Ireland or France, AFL rules football in Aus/OZ or NZ, and get ready to crap your pants: the Arena leagues, are what they are: Using an oval brown ball, not a round black-and-white ball, like only the English copyrighted it. +
This post is too funny. I am not white and I am not american. but I have noticed that soccer is mostly played by middle class or upperclass in america. This is definitely not the case in the caribbean and latin america for sure. Soccer is actually enjoyed by the masses…sometimes played by “street urchins” as my mom would say…lol. Nevertheless it is enjoyed by all.
No REAL AMERICAN would ever like soccer, all of america is united in visciously hating soccer. Liberals who hate AMERICA tell us that we should accept soccer, but every AMERICAN knows that soccer is a gay, shitty, loser, boring, crap, fake, europussy sport that we must all unite in hating every time it is mentioned.
If you hear someone talk about soccer, we will ridicule them and call them fags for thinking about soccer. Proud american men HATE soccer with a passion.
You are clearly a real American man. No, really! I just feel sorry for any real American children or any real American wife you might have. Twit…… As an Australian lover of football I still found the article very, very funny – but you my real American friend are just a piece of work.
101. White people love being offended.
Still can’t wait for 128. Mesage boards/forums, where you can act like yourselves and be accused of stupid things by moderators or site admins. who act worse than members. +
Get The Name Right Mate!
It’s FOOTBALL
Soccer is the right name. Brits started calling it soccer first, short for asSOCiation football. People started calling it ASSOC football and later soccer. When the sport arrived here in the US, Brits were calling it soccer and we were calling rugby football just plain football. When the forward pass was introduced to our version of rugby the name football stuck and so did soccer for fag-football. So you see, the rest of the world is actually calling it by its wrong name and ironically the only country that refers to it by the correct name hates the sport with a passion and the rest of the world is too ignorant to know that they are calling it by the wrong name.
fuck you
asshole
Okay Mr. American Ignorance, keep in mind that when you speak of “AMERICA” you may want to keep in mind that “America” includes the entirety of North and South America, including every other country that hails “soccer”, or actually futbol, as one of few true sports that are played in the States. If you want to talk about shitty, loser GAMES, we can touch on golf and baseball and any other “sports” that you all have in the States. Your football requires brute strength for 14 seconds, then you rest for 5 minutes, and then try again. Baseball might have one exciting thing happen once an inning. Talk about boring! True futbol requires strength, athleticism and endurance, with no breaks for the players and no breaks in the action. Just because there isn’t another score every few minutes doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to watch.
So if you want to continue to “proud american” and very ignorant ways, please do so by qualifying your statements with the fact that you are from the States and don’t include the rest of America in your statement. The rest of America doesn’t really want that kind of a reputation. Meanwhile, we will continue to enjoy a true sport, while still trying to respect the sports that your country has invented.
There’s good America and shitty America. Don’t tell me that it’s not true. I’ve lived in Soouth America for 16 years and there’s no unity in the “other America”. The USA aka “the real America” is way better and stands united, hence the name. So don’t give me your crap that America is North and South America you fucking beaner. Go mow my lawn or something.
WELL SAID MATE!
@ Another real American -
Really, its real name is futbol?? How Spanishcentric of you. Why is your mexican name the proper one? When not british “football” or german “fußball”?
Soccer sucks.
Listen, soccer is sawker and SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.
SOccer is to be met with hate and insults, because it represents the inferior culture of non-american vermin.
YEAH TOTALLY AGREED! SOCCER IS FOR DUMB ASSESS
FOOTBALL IS FOR HUMANS!
Football=Soccer to 190 countries in the world, except like 3 of ‘em. My Dad rooted for the France 98 World cup champs, the victor was the host country’s team (can be exciting to watch), but the 2006 Italians watched the French do what they do best: surrender and the German home crowd must loved it! :-/
Sounders FC!!!
Actually belong to Tampa Bay, Fla. LOL (Mad magazine joke from the 90s about second-rate/semi-pro/minor league sports). Anyone recall the Anaheim Bullfrogs roller hockey international team? I sure do, unless I was having a bad dream at age 14…and Orange county fans love to have a team, but never support it throughly except the owners are Gene Autry “the singing cowboy” believed in Angels and Walt Disney had an ice hockey movie about the Ducks. +
American culture and sport dominate the world? Really? Where? There is a minimal influence in Europe, actually it’s laughed at. Australia has it’s own English derivative. Asia CERTAINLY is independent of American culture. And as for Africa, well!
Indeed, what is American culture? In my experience it’s a massively diverse country, with no one constant culture. It’s much like talking about the British accent – ie there isn’t one. I suppose McDonald’s and Starbucks would suffice to backup your mis-lead ramblings…
As for the ‘sport’ quip, that’s a larf. Baseball is played in the USA and has some following in East Asia and Cuba. Basketball, similar and a smattering of interest in eastern Europe. American ‘Football’ is popular in America. The most common played sport by your fellow countrymen is Golf, surely? American sports dominate in America.
‘Soccer’ is the number one global sport, a planet full of wussies and pansies all bumming on the soccer pitch. Shit a brick. Fool.
Have you heard of Britney Spears? Brad Pitt? Tom Cruise? Or how about John Wayne, Bruce Lee, Robert DeNiro, Elvis Presley or heck Arnold Schwarzenegger? If you have then my friend you are in the grasp of American culture. Ever used a CD or iPod? American culture, ingenuity and product. Ever driven a mass produced car? Give thanks to Mr. Ford. Flown on an airplane? Thank the Wright Bros. Does Europe speak German? Guess what, we saved Europe’s ass. Twice! So whether you want to admit or not, there is an American Hegemony. Don’t believe me? Why is the UK or Aussie in Iraq?
And there are regional differences in American culture, but there are certain elements that makes all of us American. The love of freedom, the hate for communism and socialism, a hamburger on the 4th of July, a beef frank or hot dog at the baseball game, tailgating before football games and apple pie and we all stand united against a common threat.
As for “our sports”. Baseball is the most popular game in all Spanish speaking islands in the western hemisphere. Baseball is also the most popular sport in Japan.
Basketball has become more popular than soccer in certain East European countries and has become the most popular sport in China. It has overtaken soccer as the most popular sport in certain south american countries. Kobe is the most recognized person in Asia.
Nice summary! Look, it is healthy to have some ability for self-criticism, but it is kind of sad that so many white Americans are so anti-american, against their own culture and people, as evidenced by many of the comments here. If we want to call it soccer then we can call it soccer. So what? In our country we have a right to call it what we want. Our we going to get angry if the Chinese refer to one of our sports with a different name in a Chinese language – no, of course no, who cares? This way it isn’t confused with American Football, which is more popular here in the states.
IM QUITE SURPRISED, AMERICA THE LAND OF THE HOMELESS AND THE BUMS TAKING A SHOT AT THE REST OF THE WORLD!
bY THE WAY “DUDE” THE NAME OF THE GAME IS FOOTBALL.
“Baseball is played in the USA and has some following in East Asia and Cuba”
Talk about a “larf”-obviously you were so busy watching soccer that you didn’t see the WBC-the freaking NETHERLANDS had a baseball team, for crying out loud, as did AUSTRALIA, ITALY, and SOUTH AFRICA, as well as CANADA, MEXICO, and PANAMA.
As for American football, I guess if you weren’t exposed to it, then you wouldn’t enjoy it-after all, it has the most rules of any sport. They don’t rest for “5 minutes”, though, there is a 40 second play clock to get off the next play. As much as you don’t like it, American football is expanding, with sold out games in London, Mexico City, and I think in China soon.
Basketball: Obviously you didn’t watch the Olympics, there were teams from China, Argentina, Angola, Germany, Greece, Lithuania, Russia, Croatia, Iran, Spain, and Australia. There are big Euro basketball leagues that are actually attracting NBA players because of the money they can pay. Why don’t you crawl out from under your soccer rock once in a while?
Don’t get me wrong, soccer is fine and all, but there is just too much running around and doing nothing for my taste-I’d rather watch hockey, where at least there is spectacular plays being made constantly, whereas in soccer, its like run run run, kick ball back and forth nowhere near the goal and out of bounds for like 10 minutes, and then maybe a shot on goal that misses, and then 10 minutes more of the same. Yawn.
IM QUITE SURPRISED, AMERICA THE LAND OF THE HOMELESS AND THE BUMS TAKING A SHOT AT THE REST OF THE WORLD!
bY THE WAY “DUDE” THE NAME OF THE GAME IS FOOTBALL.
GOOD! IF THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK. BUT GET THIS INTO YOUR HEAD! SOCCER IS PLAYED BY AMERICANS.
FOOTBAL IS PLAYED BY THE REST OF THE WORLD.
above is response to below
Americans hate soccer with a passion. We will always insult it no matter what. We will always question the masculinity of the millions who play it and the billions who watch it. We are superior because we are American, our sports are superior, foreign sports are inferior.
This is the mindset that no matter what you soccer fags will never change. America’s culture and sports dominate the world. Soccer is weak. Soccer sucks and foreigners are weaklings who can’t play real sports. We rule, non-americans suck and are pansies.
you sir, are the “wrong kind of white person” he refers to one this site.
Well I’m glad you explained that.
As a matter of fact I know a lot of average american males who would agree on that. Or at least a lot more who would agree than disagree.
Maybe that explains your economy?
I understand that a lot of americans consider football (soccer) to be feminine.
In Sweden, basketball was considered feminine and if young men wanted to play it their parents would probably think that their kids were gay.
That was how it was until the 80′s when immigrants and hiphop made basketball masculine.
Think about it.
haha I guess to change american’s minds about the feminism qualities of soccer, we will need to import some highly masculine Sweedish music. Good luck with that.
Pages: « 94 … 89 88 87 86 85 [84] 83 82 81 80 79 … 1 » Show All