#82 Hating Corporations
March 5, 2008 by clander
One of the more popular white person activities of the past fifteen years is attempting to educate others on the evils of multi-national corporations. White people love nothing more than explaining to you how Wal*Mart, McDonalds, Microsoft, Halliburton are destroying the Earth’s culture and resources.
While the growth of multi-national corporations can be attributed to a number of complex social, economic and political factors, many white people prefer to take the word of two trusted sources: No Logo and AdBusters.
Published in 2000, No Logo has been responsible for more white person “enlightenment” than any book since the burning of the library at Alexandria. By reading this one magic book, white people are able to get a full grasp on the evils of multi-national corporations and then regurgitate it to friends and family.
Advanced white people will supplement No Logo with a subscription to AdBusters, where they will learn how to subvert corporate culture and return it to the masses. Specifically, this means taking ads and redoing them to give a negative message about a product. Apparently the belief is that when other people see this ad, they will be hit with an epiphany that their entire existence has been a Matrix-style manufactured universe.
If you plan to engage in lengthy conversations or get high with white people it is recommended that you read No Logo or one issue of AdBusters. Failing that, it is acceptable to buy a copy to leave on your coffee table. When white people see it, they will recognize you as someone who can see through the advertising and has a proper perspective on life.
When engaging in a conversation about corporate evils it is important to NEVER, EVER mention Apple Computers, Target or Ikea in the same breath as the companies mentioned earlier. White people prefer to hate corporations that don’t make stuff that they like.
Following these simple steps can help you gain the trust and respect of white people in a relatively short period of time.
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I have what I consider to be a good gig — I work for a small division of a multinational American corporation.
My parent company makes devices that treat a medical disorder which helps improve the lives of millions of people. I am proud to be part of a company that does that.
They pay me decently, I do get a bonus when my division does well and I perform according to expectations. My job also allows me to have reasonable balance in my life, which is extremely important.
The people I work with are nice and my commute is short — another big positive.
I once worked in the corporate HQ of a large multinational bank and absolutely hated it. I was one of about 2,000 MBA financial analysts and it was the survival of the fittest — a totally cutthroat environment. I left after 3 years.
I much prefer being in a smaller company like I am now.
From my 30 + years of working for corporate America, the people you work with and report to are what makes a work environment good or bad.
However, as much as I like where I am at now, I don’t delude myself — if my employer thought they would be better off without me I would most likely be out the door. That’s just the way it works.
And finally, just remember that your first loyalty is to yourself — not to your employer. I have been laid off twice and as soon as it happened both times I never gave another thought to the companies that canned me — I was looking for my next paying gig and whoever provides me with a paycheck has my loyalty.
SUCK ON MY PENIS YOU FAGGOT
yea it think its funny how many hippy retard stoners completely agree with-this. they think that we should all suck each-other off and never have a competitive society of capitalism.
I like adbusters and I’m proud of it. And alot of the things listed on this site have been bang on about me so yes maybe you are the wrong type of white person
I don’t think one should hate on the companies who probably employ us at one time or another. Lord knows I work for the biggest ad agency in Chicago. I’m not going to hate on the kinds of companies who pay my bills.
When I see the “evil” corporations laying off loads of workers while the CEO gets a bonus…I used to be hateful, but then I got educated, and then redirected the hate to the actual sources.
People get laid off…it happens. A job is not guaranteed. Lord knows I faced unemployment a few times in my life, but I learned from it. I learned you can’t give loyalty the way our parents did. We’re commodities, and if we’re not being profitable for the company, they will get rid of us. It doesn’t matter how nice we are to everyone and how much people like us as a person. If we’re costing the company money, then we’re gone.
What’s the solution? Become profitable. This is why I got more education and took on more student loans. This is also why in this big bad recession I am getting people left and right offering me money for web sites. I am profitable now.
It’s the same deal for other industries. I would especially tell autoworkers that they should see the tide of change, and prepare for it. Get more education, specialize, get to a place where you won’t be easily unemployed or replaced. If your life is screwing in lug nuts for 8 hours a day, then you’re screwed. However, if you learn to repair the complicated parts of a car, I guarantee people will be rolling in to pay you to fix their cars. Even more, you might get to a point where some bigger company wants you to help them build a more complicated piece of machinery. That’s being profitable.
As for bonuses, I used to think it was insane that one gets a bonus for running a company into the ground, but an accountant made sense to me. The bonuses these guys get are not special money for doing a good job, but their REGULAR PAYCHECK.
Imagine you make $5 million a year in pay. How much you think you would lose to taxes? Now what if your accountant told you the government passed laws saying bonuses will be taxes less? If you could swing your pay at the company to be $200,000 in salary and the other $4,800,000 as a bonus (which gets taxed less), wouldn’t you do it?
So the answer to the bonus thing isn’t to hate the execs…but hate on the IRS. Get on their arses and ask them why they are not investigating how these guys get paid. They’re using bonuses as a tax shelter and possibly breaking the law.
I won’t hate on someone who invests right and gets rich. I will hate on someone though who manipulates the system to get rich. Hate on the companies who spend millions on lobbyists and campaign donations to get laws passed to make the system favor them. That’s why things get screwed up.
One has to see the full truths on what’s happening out there, not jump on the “hate the suits” bandwagon.
You talk about bonuses for those who run companies into the ground. And you talk about profitability. How is running a corporation into the ground profitable to the shareholders?
Note to corporate America: I the DreddPyrateRoberts will run your company into the ground for a mere $40,000 per year. The real kicker is that a $10 million severance package is all I ask for. I could then go back to earning an honest paycheck as a chef. I could pay off my house, take a good vacation, deal with some surgeries that would improve my quality of life, and even do some charity/humanitarian work on the local level.
So what do you say GM, Chrysler, AIG, etc.? I am cheaper and as unqualified as the last group of dudes you have dealt with.
D-jam. while much of what you said is correct, i must ask. why the fuck are you giving long winded self important jerk off opinions about every single topic on this blog? they always begin with some disclaimer about how well educated you are and how successful you have become because you follow your own (most of the time completely retarded) advice. ooooo look at me im D-jam and i have a counterpoint. i work for the largest ad agency in chicago. shut up man. i wouldnt even leave comments here if it werent for the constant nagging assholery of yours…
The dude abides.
yes, dude.
ahahaaha
Well said, D
I appreciated the part about the bonuses
never thought of that
thanks:) you are truly inspiring
wal-mart is hell on earth
mcdonalds, i love thee
So I’m not white but my group of friends is mostly pretentious white people. I have now realized that not only do my friends match this list tit-for-tat but, so do I. *sigh* I’m a pretentious white brown person.
Me too :’(
This is getting kind of trippy. So much on this list of the shallow foibles and affectations and such of “white people” is true, and doesn’t reflect especially well. Now the dude is ranking on Naomi Klein? Weak. Whatever, pal.
But that’s not fair. His problem may actually be with all the white posers who may have read Naomi Klein. Or not his problem, but rather this is merely his observation. However, it’s beginning to pall.
The author of the article isn’t “ranking” (whatever that means, sorry I’m not as well-versed with hip hop slang as you obviously are) on Naomi Klein. He is pointing out the propensity of idiotic prententious white people to take the information written in “No Logo” and other counter-culture works as gospel simply because the information is presented in a book and is in-line with their point-of-view. In truth, while many of these books do reference various statistics and data, the information is manipulated to corroborate the author’s theory on a particular subject. Although I have not read “No Logo,” I have read portions of another (and similar) Klein book, “Shock Doctrine.” I have found that in many cases the book presents a very biased perspective against corporations. In presenting the information, Klein frequently takes statistical data out of context to support her flimsy arguments, or draws conclusions which are not pertinent to the data presented.
People need to realize the information presented in these types of books is presented solely to support the author’s opinion, which may not be factual. I’m sure any of the “white people” who this blog is targeting would dismiss an Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh book as opinion, but for some reason, when the author is writing about a conspiracy theory or counter-cultural subject, they unquestioningly accept the material as fact. Klein is a journalist, nothing more or less. What makes her statements any more valid or factual than anyone on Fox News? Why do “white people” rush to defend her whenever her material is questioned? Why is she considered an expert when she does not even have a college degree?
White people love college degrees!
So what you are saying is that, while other entries on this blog may have been accurate re. yourself, this entry was accurate in a way that made you actually question whether having read Naomi Klein really DOES make you smarter than other people?
Going by this list, I’m not very “white” despite my Irish/German heritage. While some of these have me dead-on, I don’t like most of these things. I guess I’m one of the “wrong type of white people” by not being a liberal, though far from a conservative as well. Where do we Libertarians fall?
i’ve been wondering the same thing
maybe we’re the wrong “wrong” type of white person
or the right type of “wrong” type of white person
i work for a multinational corporation and am proud of it.
I work for a multinational corporation that allows other multinational corporations to do business. I am proud of it too.
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