#83 Bad Memories of High School
March 6, 2008 by clander
The most time and cost efficient way of gaining a white person’s trust and friendship is to talk to them about their time in high school.
Virtually every white person you meet was a nerd in a high school-it it is how they were able to get into a good arts program and law school. As such, their memories of high school are painful, but not tragic since they were able to eventually find success in the real world. Exploiting this information is your one way to ticket into the heart of a white person.
Your first priority must be to steer the conversation to the topic of high school, which is not very difficult. If you are talking about music, mention the music you think they would have liked in high school and how you were taunted for liking those bands. If you cannot properly gauge the type of music a white person liked in high school, you should always say that you were really into The Cure. All white people know that liking The Cure in high school is an invitation to be tortured by the cool kids. This will bring about instant sympathy and respect.
It is also acceptable to discuss how you were in love with a cool kid who never loved you back. For added effect, you can mention how said cool kid is now doing very poorly and that you are excited for the upcoming reunion.
If these first two points were not enough to gain an adequate level of trust, you can close the deal by saying: “I was the only <insert ethnicity> kid in Improv/on the paper/on student council.” Wait for a sympathetic look and then you will know that you have forged an unbreakable and easily exploited bond.
For maximum effectiveness, this technique should be used in a social group setting where everyone can share their stories. By guiding the conversation, you will be seen as a natural and sympathetic leader. This can be easily exploited for professional and social gain.
Note: In the rare encounter that you meet a white person who was “cool” in high school, do not panic. There is a 100% chance that one of their other cool friends sold them out in a coup for control of their social circle. Failing that, you can exploit the inherent guilt they feel about their treatment of nerds.
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garbarrassing.com is a retarded website being promoted in the comments by retarded people. White people aren’t fans of non-retarded people acting retarded.
For the white people that want to learn what they didn’t teach you in High School
White People Love Free Sexual Education!
Come see what everyone is talking about:
http://sexed.wordpress.com/
The server is a bit overwhelmed, so if it doesn’t load right away just keep refreshing.
I had a memory of high school where three black guys fucked me in my ass…pretty garbarr memory. They did it because I got wayy too offended and really enjoyed it…For the record…White people LOVE BOXING as well. I found this hilarious boxing video and I bet you anything that any white person who watches this (probably other races as well) would enjoy this video! Especially the woman’s reaction afterwards.
Check it out:
http://www.garbarrassing.com/Comment/Videos/0019.php
I feel like white people LOVE race walking as well. Saw no blacks or asians doing it in the olympics. You should add that to the list of stuff white people like. I also found a hilarious article about race walking at http://www.garbarrassing.com . It’s blog #14 (should see it near the top of the page just scroll down a little bit. Check it out.
i found a really horrible blog about really boring stuff, u should check it out.
http://www.garbarrassing.com
I have a great memory of highschool. When I got highhhh. Speaking of getting high, the lead actor (Seth Rogen) of knocked up and pineapple express is retarded. Read what he did on the daily show here:
http://www.garbarrassing.com (scroll down to August, 17 2008)
Re: Troy
It’s always fun to scroll through the posts by readers of Stuff White People Like and play “Spot the Racist Whitey.” TAG!
And my personal favorite thing about this blog? White people admitting, albeit in anonymous cyber land, “Yes, I’m white.”
Join the rest of the human race you’ve labeled and objectified.
Texas schools let teachers carry guns now!!
Found it on http://detentionslip.org
In high school, my friends use to tease this girl about bigfoot because she had this irrational fear. Looks like it wasn’t so irrational after all. Apparently big foot is real! Check out this news article at http://www.garbarrassing.com (click on the garbarrassment of the day, august 15, near the top of the page).
“Join the rest of the human race you’ve labeled and objectified.”
It’s 2008, there are very few white people to blame for those things. You racist hooker.
LOL! Oh Charlotte. Proving yet again how much W-people like to get offended.
Hehe, we kid because we love guys…
Re: Sophie
You don’t have much of a life do you?
Am I
too late in the game ? Why are people insuling each other. That is so white.
Neither do you
Oh boy, a cat fight. Come on girls, can’t we all get along?
I’ll be honest – I’m just trying to publicize my blog –
http://www.levantinesummer.blogspot.com
Fortunately, it is about nonprofits, traveling/studying abroad, and other white-people oriented things, so maybe it will be relevant.
The article was funny and spot on. Then again, it applies mostly to the classical idea of high school as portrayed in movies incessantly. And yes, most screenwriters were nerds in H.S. This story wouldn’t apply to prep schools, magnet art schools or any school where athletics isn’t super-emphasized. In my case, I went to an all-boys military school, at times cool, at times boring and with no women. Also, simply because you didn’t play in the football team didn’t mean you were an absolute loser. There are plenty of people who are smart and cool, and yes, athletic.
But again, even if their H.S. experience wasn’t terrible, most people will claim it was, it’s part of their existentialism.
http://www.poeticmotherlover.com
The only bad memories I ahve are when I was applying for a job in highschool. Go http://www.garbarrassing.com and check out blog number 13 to see what I think about applying for jobs. IT SUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKS
I was always the only half-black, half-Chinese kid in…well, anything. Thanks, America.
My boyfriend is half black and half chinese, he felt the same way!
Love the part about “The Cure.” I’m laughing…
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com
The Puerto Rican as I am. I only hung out with White People.
Thank you,
Frank
See who else has bad memories of high school at http://detentionslip.org. It’s got all the crazy stories about teachers, students, and principals getting in trouble for dumb things.
High school a time we all would love to forget.
http://www.buyrefurbtoday.com/overstockindex.html
My high school was in a VERY small town–49 in our graduating class–and I came from a suburb of the nearest “big city” so I never fit in. I wore bangs and drank coffee and I didn’t think it was any big deal, but now I think I understand why they thought I was so weird. And I had the audacity to show up at a basketball game wearing jeans! I was sent home (no kidding) because the girls were supposed to wear skirts or dresses, as they were in school (this was a public school!) because they were concerned about too-tight jeans–never mind that the boys could see up your skirt as you climbed up the bleachers. Our class had the dubious distinction of being the class with the highest dropout rate in the school. Strangest fact of all: we were supposed to have a dance that was themed “Woodstock” but the administration shot that idea down because of the sex and drugs at Woodstock but they allowed a band named “China White” to play.
Hey, I went to high school with the lead singer from China White! Our High School had so many sub-groups that anybody could be seen as cool to somebody.
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