#85 The Wire
March 9, 2008 by clander
Though white people have a natural aversion to television, there are some exceptions. For white people to like a TV show it helps if it is: critically acclaimed, low-rated, shown on premium cable, and available as a DVD box set.
The latter is important so that white people can order it from Netflix and tell their friends “they are really into <insert series> and I watched ten episodes in a row in the weekend. I’m almost caught up.”
If you attempt to talk about an episode they have not seen yet, they will scream and cover their ears. In white culture, giving away information about a film or TV series is considered as rude as spitting on your mothers grave. It is an unforgivable offense.
Recent series that have fallen into this category include The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, and most recently The Wire.
For the past three years, whenever you say “The Wire” white people are required to respond by saying “it’s the best show on television.” Try it the next time you see a white person! Though now they might say “it WAS the best show on television.”
So why do they love it so much? It all comes down to authenticity. A long time ago, someone started a rumor that when The Wire is on TV, actual police wires go quiet because all the dealers are watching the show. Though this is not true, it seems plausible enough to white people and has imbued the show with the needed authenticity to be deemed acceptable.
The popularity of this show among white people has create a unique opportunity for personal gain.
If you need to impress a white person, tell them you are from Baltimore. They will immediately ask you about The Wire and how accurate it is. You should confirm that it is “like a documentary of the streets,” the white person will then slowly shake their head and say “man” or “wow.” You will be seen in an entirely new light.
If you are not from Baltimore but the white person you are talking to is, they might start asking you a lot of questions. In this situation, you should just say you left when you were young but you still have a lot of cousins there but you don’t like to go back to visit. This will remove all doubts and they can go back to telling you about how John from Accounting needs to “stop snitching” about their two hour lunch breaks.
Note: Tonight (Sunday March 9, 2008) is the series finale. It would be considered proper etiquette to ask a white person about the show on Monday.
Pages: [100] 99 98 97 96 95 94 93 92 91 90 … 1 » Show All
Why would a person start asking ME a lot of questions just because THEY are from Baltimore? That sentence makes no sense.
He means that if you present yourself as being from Baltimore, but are really not, that another whitey might try to sniff you out, In which case you must rebut. I can’t believe this blog has 50 million hits, but here I am, so that explains it….F WHITE PEOPLE, SO F MYSELF…
Why would a person start asking me a lot of questions just because they are from Baltimore? That sentence makes no sense.
FAIL. Whites, Blacks & Latinos love the wire equally.
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
Funny thing, I live in one of the neighborhoods predominantly featured on the wire, and I’ve only seen a couple episodes. Although I have seen it being filmed many times, while the drug dealers across the street can be heard yelling , “This the real wire over here, nigga!” The episodes I have seen makes me think they don’t do a great job of portraying the police in Baltimore. Most of them are black thugs, not fat white irish guys, and a number of which I have come in contact with seem borderline retarded. Literally.
That’s true enough. I have yet to meet an Irish cop in the Baltimore City Police. I’ve only met like three city police officers who impress me as intelligent dudes.
I guess they figured that they’d be playing to a well-loved stereotype by inserting the Irish cop types in.
Remember that show called “The Corner” that was an awesome show. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0224853/
I live in Baltimore and always thought that this should be an entry on here. Then someone told me it was. I can’t count the number of times people ask me, “Dude, which bar is the one from the Wire?” and I just tell ‘em my favorite bar, which is Mick O’Shea’s and it satisfies these tourists. I oughta tell them “Nightshift” but they’d probably suspect by the time they drove out to Pulaski Highway.
I feel less white for having never really watched this show, except for a couple episodes. The politics is accurate without being factual. As a white person, I have no clue if that’s the ghetto because, frankly, I’ve only driven through or been there by accident on the way to a sushi place in Mount Vernon.
The Wire reineforces negative black stereotypes. I hope this show makes white people feel informed in the privacy of their newly redecorated suburban homes.
Stringer Bell is shown as very intelligent and reasonable. It just also happens that he’s a drug dealer.
Is there a POSITIVE black stereotype you would like highlighted, Captain Negro? Are you a drug dealer? Do you think they were trying to write about YOUR experience as an African-American? I think the show has given a face and a story to the drug dealer that people never take the time to think about when “getting tough on crime.”
Pages: [100] 99 98 97 96 95 94 93 92 91 90 … 1 » Show All