#88 Having Gay Friends
March 14, 2008 by clander
If white people could draft friends the way that the NFL drafts prospects it would go like this: black friends, gay friends, and then all other minorities would be drafted based on need and rarity to the region.
When choosing gay friends, white people like to base their decision on their own needs and requirements. Younger white people tend to prefer young, social gay people-this is their all important ticket into nightclubs and parties.
When a straight person goes to a gay night club, they are reminded of how progressive and tolerant they are. If they are hit on by a member of the same sex, it provides them with a valuable story that they can use to prove to their other friends that they are more progressive and tolerant. “This guy/girl hit on me, I said I was ‘straight but not narrow,’ and it was totally chill. Oh, you went to an Irish bar this weekend? That’s cool, I guess. “
Older white people prefer to be friends with gay parents because it enables their children to experience much needed diversity with people who are, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same as them.
It is also worth noting that a gay friendship of any sort allows white people to feel as though they are a part of the gay rights movement. While white people love being a part of any movement, the gay movement is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression.
Gay friends are an essential part of a white person’s all-star diversity roster. But they are always on the lookout for the ultimate friend; a gay minority.
It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity – like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker. White people will crawl over each other for the opportunity to claim this person as a friend and add them to their roster of diversity.
Other minorities are also highly prized and assigned a ranking based on the level of intolerance in they face from their respective cultures and family members.
Once a white person has told you about their gay friends, it is recommended that you say “I wish more people were like you,” every few months. This will allow them to feel good about their progressive choice of friends and remind them that they are better than other white people.
If you follow this simple rule, you should be able to maximize all benefits of white friendship including assistance in moving and free drinks.
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You can brag about your gay friends unless, of course, you’re surrounded by uber conservative people who ask, “So, have you told him he’s going to hell yet?” So I tend to avoid using gender terms online about my gay, opposite sex roomate except in front of people who know me well enough. Some of the aforementioned uber conservative people are so clueless they think there’s something between us. ICK! And fortunately, we don’t have the same taste in guys either. Just mention “Adam Lambert” and “Kris Allen” and watch the different reactions.
I get invited to gay clubs by straight white women more than I do by other gay guys… I always say no because by the end of the night their going to try to make out with me or hump my leg or something.
Well I am totally out of touch with reality if this is the truth.
I grew up around drag queens, transgenders and gays and yet I have not one single gay friend… or any black friends for that matter…
I think there is a difference between saying you treat people as equals and actually treating them equally.
I have a friend in a wheel chair, who says treat me like everyone else… when I do (for instance tell them off over something) I get “How can you say that to a disabled person”.
Alot of ‘fag hags’ do like to mention their gay friend above all others, maybe it really does make them feel special.
I would just prefer to have friends. Period. Gay/straight/bi/asian/black who really cares.
You know you are not telling the truth, no one, especially a gay man would ever hump a leg in public! They have too much class for that =)
Okay… So Im going to a gay bar tonight actually … with my bi-sexual friend Sarah, cross-dresser friend Jamal and two gay friends Mikey and Brandon… So I think I deserve a white girl award. I love them. Gay guys are so much more fun to hangout and dance with then straight guys. I mean, minus 3 of my other friends, these previous mentioned people are some of the greatest people I have ever met.
I like going to the gay bar because I dont get hit on by creepy 40-year-old drunk guys or horndogs looking for some “poon-tang”. I go there to dance, have fun, buy [my OWN] cheap $2 shots and hangout with some of the best people I know… they just happen to be gay, bi..etc.
It doesnt bother me at all that the bloger would write this either… because i see other people do exactly what was said. I just, persoanlly, dont follow the same “white person” fad.
But I agree with some of it.. and some of the comments.
And before some thoughtless asshole goes and calls me a fag hag I would like to remind you that I demand as much respect as you would give any other woman. I am young and like to have fun and it just so happens that I like to do so at the gay bar on fridays.
Thank you for tollerating my longggggg comment.
I luuuuvre my fag hags.
You should listen to Margaret Cho on fag hags. Funny as F&ck!!
“Gay guys are so much more fun to hangout and dance with then straight guys.”
You’re basing this on the few you know? I’m gay and don’t usually appreciate generalizations and stereotype perpetuation, it overshadows your tolerance.
Anyone in here watched “Queer Eye for the straight guy” on Bravo a few years ago? Perhaps the kind of TV show to stir up enough anti-gay sentiment than a Westboro baptist church service. Look at the guys: experts on fashion, hair styles, home decor, cooking and advise on relationships. More like “Help! I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body.” next on Jerry Springer or Oprah (sigh, shes soooo stylin’. sista’s got klazz, tat girl, lovin’ it! mmhmm). +
LOL..
http://messedupparentingtips.wordpress.com/
My best friend is gay and a minority and is the most fabulous friend I could ever ask for… I think I won the white person lotery
He gets points for being with a girl…make that, female friend. How many points you have: 200 vs. his 100? You get 100 more if you befriend an autistic man. “You go girl”. +
you are a stupid ass bitch
HAHA, trangender friends. Gay people are just so 1997. Time to say you are something else besides gay to get attention. Maybe say you are dogmatically influenced.
Utah is soooo 1997, except SLC was placed on the top 50 gay-friendly places in America by the Advocate magazine. Wherever you go, there you are…and the gay ten out of 100 people. Just like the “X-men” film, mutants united together…and gays must possess a superpower, no wonder they know when a gay-bash (as in hate crime) moment is coming. +
Dude, gay-friends are so 1997. I have transgendered friends now! How cool does that make me?
Darn it, metrosexuals was like 2003. I hate being in Palm Springs area, the burning red star in outer space 5 light years behind the stars of Hollywood, Westwood and West Hollywood. Now who’s gayer? Palm Springs where many shops and clubs have rainbow flags? or Westside L.A. the kind of place a gay man will want? Rock, paper, scissors…+
I didn’t read all 200 comments – but as a white person it is also my solid belief that even if it has been said earlier – it is up to me to bring it up as a salient point – and that I will put it forward in far more eloquent and understanding fashion that that of those before.. even though I haven’t read them.
While I agree in the entire social roster theory.. the strongest sub culture HAS to be the “hag” – or the female of the white breed…. who latches on to gay male friends to display diversity in friendship AND has the added bonus of complaining about being single because “all the men I meet are gay”.
’tis a poten mix.
Its a symbiotic relationship that extends beyond the “Having Gay Friends” token. Margaret Cho has a lot to say about fag hags
I figured this video was painfully relevant to the discussion.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2009/04/24/VI2009042403128.html?sid=ST2009042500037
and as a white person, hilarious in an ironic way.
wow. i would hate if that were happening at my school. i like how the woman Sara Phelps, who starts talking at 1:22 about obeying god and not being gay, is wearing a GAP shirt, and the popular meaning (as a joke of course) of gap is “gay and proud”
I knew a night club east of Palm Springs (now surrounded by strip malls and home tracts) back in the 70s my parents told me had a huge neon sign reading “the GAY” but placed on the rear view mirror of passing cars, it appears to say (this is true): “F@G!” Today, it’s called the Painted Desert, but maintains a popularity among gay patrons. +
wooowww, hahaha, yes this is very relevant. on the one hand u have some stupid over conservative religious ppl, and the other you have all these retarded PC brainwashed kids, as all kids are these days.
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