#91 San Francisco
March 23, 2008 by clander
San Francisco is one of the top US destinations for white people in terms of both travel and living. It is universally agreeable and is a safe discussion topic for any situation.
The city is considered one of the world’s premiere locations for white person research.
White people like to vacation in San Francisco because it has beautiful architecture, fantastic food, and it is near the water. They like to live in San Francisco because of its abundance of Non Profit Organizations, Expensive Sandwiches, Wine, political outlook, and most importantly its diversity.
Since many white people either live in, plan to move to, or closely identify with San Francisco it is imperative that you know how best to deal with them.
The City of San Francisco has a very multicultural population that ranges from white to gay to Asian. Within white culture this known as “ideal diversity” for its provision of exotic restaurants while simultaneously preserving property values. The presence of gays and Asians is imperative as it two provides two of the key resources most necessary for white success and happiness.
However, it is important to be aware of the fact that regions outside of San Francisco feature many people who are not white, gay or Asian. They are greatly appreciated during the census, but white people are generally very happy that they stay in places like Oakland and Richmond. This enables white people to feel good about living near people of diverse backgrounds without having to directly deal with troublesome issues like income gaps or schooling.
Still, the presence of other minorities are welcomed by white people for so many more reasons than just statistics! Much in the way that white people in Brooklyn feel a strong and unfounded connection with The Notorious BIG, white people in San Francisco feel the need to identify with rappers from the East Bay. Interestingly enough, the further they venture from San Francisco, the stronger their need to represent their region.
“Oh man, I went to the Too Short show last night. So hyphy man, so hyphy. You should come by some time and we’ll ghost ride the Prius.”
When you are presented with statements like this, the best response is to say “Berkeley is close to Oakland,” and the white person will likely nod and throw up some sort of west side hand sign.
Though it is exceptionally easy to put someone from San Francisco in a good mood, there are some caveats. When talking to a white person who lives in San Francisco, it is best not to bring up New York City. Though they live in a world class city, San Franciscans have a crippling inferiority complex about New York and even hinting at that will make them very sad or very defensive.
Fortunately, there is a fool-proof method for quickly returning the conversation to a positive, trust-building tone. No matter how much you have offended someone from San Francisco, you can always make them feel better by asking them how they feel about Southern California. They will instantly talk of how it is filled with crime, pollution, hegemonic culture, and the wrong kind of white people: “I swear California is like two separate countries, and I am so thankful that I live in the cultural center of the West Coast.” This will allow them to reassert their superiority and leave the conversation with a positive feeling about themselves and about you.
Castro Photo by bkusler who has done an excellent photo essay on Stuff White People Like. Dancing Photo by amynugget.
Volvos are also acceptable for ghost riding.
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This is so weird to read that SFO people believe they have something on L.A. people. I hear the same thing when I travel an hour outside of here to one of the small minded satellite suburbs. I though SFO was a large city, I mean they have some sports teams which usually means it has a large population, but from the attitudes I’m gathering from this post, they don’t amount to much of anything. I don’t think people from L.A. hate people from SFO, even worse, they rarely ever acknowledge SFO. It’s one of the last places I think about when deciding where to go for a getaway. You’re the poor little forgotten redheaded step child. I’d rather be hated and envied.
Dude–I’m from San Leandro. You forgot that Northern California actually owns all the water…what about the aquaducts??? come on braaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
san fransicko.
san fran sicko
sicko.
CA==bankrupt, depression, massive unemployment, foreclosures galore, govt. corruption, coverups,
san fran sicko
I was born in Oakland, lived in San Francisco in my mid twenties, and recently moved to New York, and this article is hilarious, I actually found this website by being forwarded this article. While I love SF, it is completely pretentious and everyone thinks they’re better than other Americans, sometimes thinking that they’re closer to resembling Europeans. The only thing i don’t agree with is the New York inferiority complex, I never saw that.
I also used to hate L.A. until I went there, it may be ugly and plastic but it’s still a lot of fun!
As someone who is planning to move to the Bay Area I found this hilarious. I’m from the UK and have visited SF maybe 10 times now and I would agree with the fact that they do resemble Europeans
During the dark days of the Bush (Isn’t it great to be able to talk in the past tense now?) I visited Houston where my friend who had previously lived in Palo Alto had moved to. It made me realise that pretentious or not I knew where I would rather be.
I’m sure loads of other places would have seemed like a safe haven as well, New York, Chicago, Seattle, Austin the list goes on, but I will always remember that it was SF that gave me hope that the US wasn’t completely lost to the rest of the West just yet
That said real estate prices are bloody stupid…
I also hate LA.
More than liking San Francisco, white people LOVE hating L.A.
This whitey loves L.A. I’ve traveled all over the US, Europe, the Americas including Mexico, Canada and South America also parts of Asia, etc… There are places I’d love to spend more time and wouldn’t feel tortured if I had to live there, like Shanghai, but I’m proud to call LA home. I’ve lived here since the early 80’s but have also lived large chunks of time in other places, including Boston, NYC and Dallas. It’s so hard to leave this place permanently. I think I’m dependent on this sess pool of a megalopolis. Other places are much more beautiful and hats off to NYC for being more exciting and grandiose but L.A. has something on each of them and I can’t quite put my head around it. The weather is great, but I enjoy an occasional snow storm, you can live anonymously, but we don’t have a monopoly on that, great sports teams, unless you like something other than basketball, fame and glitz, but I don’t even watch TV (I’m a scientist). My current theory on why I love L.A. so much isn’t because it’s the greatest or best of anything that’s important to me but rather that it cumulatively has more variety than anywhere else anywhere. No one can honestly dispute that.
“This enables white people to feel good about living near people of diverse backgrounds without having to directly deal with troublesome issues like income gaps or schooling.”
Refering to Oakland and Richmond
Any natives of San Francisco with school aged kids would laugh out loud at how wrong this is.
Lets just say it isn’t white boy day ever at SF public high schools and leave it at that.
Highest percentage of kids in SF of any city in America go private
The income gap in the city of SF is massive as well
its crazy i just moved to san francisco from san diego (unlike most of the commenters i have lived in both places) and i lived in portland for a couple of years. so i pretty much know all about the different regions of the west coast. the bay and SoCal have totally different attitudes and vibes, i ca never say one is better than the other it depends on preferences ( sun or no-sun, car or no car, rainbows(the sandals) or rainbows (the symbol) i have noticed that most of the younger san fraciscians are native so-cal residents especially from diego and the valley (as in l.a.). literally i meet someone from san diego everyday. basically i have come to realize that when during the “college years” everyone from SoCal and NorCal switches places and never returns. there is no such thing as native San Franciscan SF gets majority of its residence from SoCal college bound young adults who are tired of the sun&fun and want to switch it up.
You’re wrong that there’s no such thing as a native San Franciscan living in San Francisco. I grew up in North Beach/Telegraph Hill (before the dot com boom–it was better back then) and almost all my best friends are natives. We went off to college and grad school in other parts of the country and world (for example I went to uni in London then worked at Parliament for a while), but we’ve subsequently returned here and are still close.
I guess the difference is, the native San Franciscan doesn’t necessarily do the same things a newbie would, or hang out in all the hyped-up places that the out-of-towners are really into. You just must just be spending your time where people who don’t really know the city that well yet tend to go. Once you learn San Francisco better, you’ll meet more natives, trust me.
And I strongly disagree that we “switch places” with populations from down south. Yes, they come up in droves, but I don’t know a single person from here who would ever, eeeever choose to live in Southern California. (Sorry, I’m not trying to sound like a b*tch, but that’s the reigning attitude).
I love it when girls are b*tches and act like b*tches and then condescendingly apologize about how they aren’t “trying to sound like a b*tch.” Of course if you really weren’t trying to be one, since you obviously recognize it yourself, you’d never would sound like a b*tch.
Unfortunately, Chloe, you are a huge b*tch. I am a d*ck, yes, but I take pride in it and will not hide behind “not trying to sound” like what I am.
San Fran can eat it.
I live in Austin after New Orleans, cheaper and less fraudulent “b*tches”
JC1, I’m a native-born Californian (the south side) where a large percentage of people I grew up with or around are Latino, as well Black, Asian and white. I’m a 1/4 Cherokee Indian and a son of an immigrant from France, maybe the lesson of confronting diversity every day & not possessing enough wealth to be “with my own kind” is what everyone goes through. Everyone can be racist no matter what color of their skin, but it seems by the looks is the one “race” representing the elite are the dominant group…are white. +
Let me also add, I am racist myself who loves to spread racist diatribe through out this website. I have autism, I have autism and I am a dumbass, and I am a dumbass. I am 100, 100 percent dumbass and I am gay and enjoy taking it up the ass, taking it up the ass.
you dont have autism, you actually suffer from a condition caused from having a 14 inch black dick up your ass. you should get that checked. there is a cure for dick heads.
San Francisco provides young white kids from wealthy backgrounds the opportunity to think they are tolerant and liberal without having to actually confront people who are any different than they are.
And I am from LA.
Funniest line:
“Oh man, I went to the Too Short show last night. So hyphy man, so hyphy. You should come by some time and we’ll ghost ride the Prius.”
- MPM
I am from San Francisco, and I think this is 100% accurate.
Also, I hate LA
oh, be careful. that statement could make you racist.
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