#91 San Francisco
March 23, 2008 by clander
San Francisco is one of the top US destinations for white people in terms of both travel and living. It is universally agreeable and is a safe discussion topic for any situation.
The city is considered one of the world’s premiere locations for white person research.
White people like to vacation in San Francisco because it has beautiful architecture, fantastic food, and it is near the water. They like to live in San Francisco because of its abundance of Non Profit Organizations, Expensive Sandwiches, Wine, political outlook, and most importantly its diversity.
Since many white people either live in, plan to move to, or closely identify with San Francisco it is imperative that you know how best to deal with them.
The City of San Francisco has a very multicultural population that ranges from white to gay to Asian. Within white culture this known as “ideal diversity” for its provision of exotic restaurants while simultaneously preserving property values. The presence of gays and Asians is imperative as it two provides two of the key resources most necessary for white success and happiness.
However, it is important to be aware of the fact that regions outside of San Francisco feature many people who are not white, gay or Asian. They are greatly appreciated during the census, but white people are generally very happy that they stay in places like Oakland and Richmond. This enables white people to feel good about living near people of diverse backgrounds without having to directly deal with troublesome issues like income gaps or schooling.
Still, the presence of other minorities are welcomed by white people for so many more reasons than just statistics! Much in the way that white people in Brooklyn feel a strong and unfounded connection with The Notorious BIG, white people in San Francisco feel the need to identify with rappers from the East Bay. Interestingly enough, the further they venture from San Francisco, the stronger their need to represent their region.
“Oh man, I went to the Too Short show last night. So hyphy man, so hyphy. You should come by some time and we’ll ghost ride the Prius.”
When you are presented with statements like this, the best response is to say “Berkeley is close to Oakland,” and the white person will likely nod and throw up some sort of west side hand sign.
Though it is exceptionally easy to put someone from San Francisco in a good mood, there are some caveats. When talking to a white person who lives in San Francisco, it is best not to bring up New York City. Though they live in a world class city, San Franciscans have a crippling inferiority complex about New York and even hinting at that will make them very sad or very defensive.
Fortunately, there is a fool-proof method for quickly returning the conversation to a positive, trust-building tone. No matter how much you have offended someone from San Francisco, you can always make them feel better by asking them how they feel about Southern California. They will instantly talk of how it is filled with crime, pollution, hegemonic culture, and the wrong kind of white people: “I swear California is like two separate countries, and I am so thankful that I live in the cultural center of the West Coast.” This will allow them to reassert their superiority and leave the conversation with a positive feeling about themselves and about you.
Castro Photo by bkusler who has done an excellent photo essay on Stuff White People Like. Dancing Photo by amynugget.
Volvos are also acceptable for ghost riding.
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This reminds me of the South Park episode “smug alert.”
“I’m San Francisco has completely disappeared up its own asshole.”
Not one mention in the post or comments about
East Palo Alto. (there I mentioned it)
I’m planning to move there soon and work as a waitress. From there, I aspire to become a porn star for a few years. Then someone will notice my fantastic acting abilities and other “it” qualities and hire me to work for a movie that you will pirate in several years.
You’d be better of moving to the San Fernando Valley, still the Porn Capital of the USA. People there actually lease their tract houses to film companies to shoot porn movies.
Yay! No wonder I am so incredibly, undeniably white! This was researched in my native habitat!
I’m a San Francisco native and I love “The City” even though I live in Honolulu now and for the last 7 years. For the record I like SoCal too, especially the weather – I just hate the pollution and the fact that you NEED a car. There are only 2 things that bother me about SF; the hippies who won’t let me use plastic and the fact that ugly people are snobbish. I call them “fugsters”, a combination of fugly and wannabe hipster. It is the only city I’ve lived in where people try to look down or talk down to you for being physically attractive or generically cute. It’s like the uglies banded together with bad fashion sense to create cliques and be the anti L.A. on PURPOSE. I don’t think one is better than the other. L.A. people think they are better for their “style” and S.F. people think they have more “substance”…I find it quite funny actually.
I’m an average looking guy, some say attractive and I couldn’t believe how many wannabe hipsters at dive bars gave me the stink eye for dressing well and/or looking lets say “broad appeal attractive”. I was slightly insulted by the all these social rejects until I realized how funny it was and that this parallel universe was the only place that this paradigm existed. Ha ha, rock on SF, if you or your “fugsters” changed it just wouldn’t be the same.
P.S. I’ve been all over and due to the proximity to the Central Valley and the amazing ethnic variety of people I have to say I’ve never had better food or higher quality food than in The City. I love eating there – I’m so glad my metabolism can support being such a foodie! And the sourdough…dayum I’m hungry now!
Aloha…
hahaha, so true abt the “fugsters” here in SF . . .
cheeehee pono. malama da aina.
hahahaha. :p
so much fun
http://www.SHOP-LUSCIOUS.com
WOOT ASIAN GIRLS!!!!
Yes your right the center of worthlessness in America is san francisco.
All of the whiny little people who don’t deserve to be called Americans live there.
I’d say california as a whole should just be cut off the mainland and sent floating away and the funny thing is everyone in california would absolutely agree with me.
You know I served in the Army Airborne Infantry for seven years and I never met a guy from san francisco, I met tons of guys from all over c.a. (no doubt the laziest people I’ve ever met) but never a guy who served his country from san francisco. Why is that?
I think this list should be renamed `stuff gay white people like` or `stuff some jerkoff yuppie from california likes` or maybe `stuff some liberal,unamerican,doesn’t have anything better to do than make this list that misrepresents every white person in the U.S. likes.`
They’re not serving with you cause they are the ones that serve you to go.. they’re the politicians duh!
Dude–the point of this site is to make fun of hippies.
Wow, bitter much, Dan? As I read your post, I almost heard the “Star Spangled Banner” playing in the background. Almost.
Well of course I’m bitter, it is an election year right? How can we even consider voting for obama? Yet, there he is, on this crappy list of things apparently white people like.
As for the san francisco thing, I don’t care for people who bitch and whine about everything that is wrong with America, when it is easily the greatest place in the world.
greatest thing in the world ? what a joke! forget europe ??
Have you been to every other country in the world to qualify a statement such as “USA is the best country in the world?
I would be really interested to know how many countries you have travelled to.
Dan, people like YOU are what is wrong with America. We need to think about the wellbeing of others, not just what is good for oursevles. You are definitely correct by stating that we live in a great county, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect.
Ah yes the people like me…the people like me who fought against the terrorist group who planned 9/11 in Afghanistan.
The people like me who deposed a murderous dictator in Iraq and then went back again to support free elections there.
The American’s like me who are training to be a nurse to help out the sick and are married to a teacher that guides your young children through their middle school years.
I am strictly for the American dream and believe you have to bust your ass to get it. Not have some huge liberal government giving handouts to everyone cause they are just too lazy to do anything with their lives. This is the land of oppurtunities and you just have to apply yourself to succeed in life.
So if I’m whats wrong with the U.S. then I hope the vast majority of my fellow Americans are wrong too.
Sadam a terrible dictator to his people? i doubt it as much as weapons of mass destruction.
Unfortunately, this country was used to get rid of him purely out of the president’s personal grudge against the threat they made on his father before when in office. Nothing more than that.
If we were after those terrorists, we would have gotten rid of Al queda and Taliban already.
Dan is being very un-American. He also hates white people.
Dude, get off the cross.
Love the premise of stuff white people like when it comes to SF.
Nice weather
Low pollution
Beautiful Scenery
Good Food
Yep, stuff that white people like.
Most people of all colors like San Francisco, unless they’ve never been there and those people will likely share an uneducated opinion about this great place. I spent most of my life in San Francisco or living throughout the Bay Area. New York City is far more diverse and interesting for sure but San Fran has the beauty. I’ve lived in Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Wyoming and New York. San Francisco is calling me back. It is a city which needs political and infrastructural work and is generally unaffordable, but what a spot. All my East Coast friends who migrated to the Bay Area couldn’t believe I elected to move to NYC. They’d had enough of the rust belt and the tri-state area. Despite New York’s ugliness and filth it is still more interesting due to the food, culture, music and people. Most cities and suburban areas make the mistake of marginalizing older people. Where I live all age groups are out on the street all of the time. Parts of New York retain a European sensibility. San Francisco is ten times smaller than New York and the diversity isn’t quite up to snuff. Maybe that is why some “narrower” white people like it. I like it for other reasons. Just one bike ride across the Golden Gate and you won’t want to leave.
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