#91 San Francisco
March 23, 2008 by clander
San Francisco is one of the top US destinations for white people in terms of both travel and living. It is universally agreeable and is a safe discussion topic for any situation.
The city is considered one of the world’s premiere locations for white person research.
White people like to vacation in San Francisco because it has beautiful architecture, fantastic food, and it is near the water. They like to live in San Francisco because of its abundance of Non Profit Organizations, Expensive Sandwiches, Wine, political outlook, and most importantly its diversity.
Since many white people either live in, plan to move to, or closely identify with San Francisco it is imperative that you know how best to deal with them.
The City of San Francisco has a very multicultural population that ranges from white to gay to Asian. Within white culture this known as “ideal diversity” for its provision of exotic restaurants while simultaneously preserving property values. The presence of gays and Asians is imperative as it two provides two of the key resources most necessary for white success and happiness.
However, it is important to be aware of the fact that regions outside of San Francisco feature many people who are not white, gay or Asian. They are greatly appreciated during the census, but white people are generally very happy that they stay in places like Oakland and Richmond. This enables white people to feel good about living near people of diverse backgrounds without having to directly deal with troublesome issues like income gaps or schooling.
Still, the presence of other minorities are welcomed by white people for so many more reasons than just statistics! Much in the way that white people in Brooklyn feel a strong and unfounded connection with The Notorious BIG, white people in San Francisco feel the need to identify with rappers from the East Bay. Interestingly enough, the further they venture from San Francisco, the stronger their need to represent their region.
“Oh man, I went to the Too Short show last night. So hyphy man, so hyphy. You should come by some time and we’ll ghost ride the Prius.”
When you are presented with statements like this, the best response is to say “Berkeley is close to Oakland,” and the white person will likely nod and throw up some sort of west side hand sign.
Though it is exceptionally easy to put someone from San Francisco in a good mood, there are some caveats. When talking to a white person who lives in San Francisco, it is best not to bring up New York City. Though they live in a world class city, San Franciscans have a crippling inferiority complex about New York and even hinting at that will make them very sad or very defensive.
Fortunately, there is a fool-proof method for quickly returning the conversation to a positive, trust-building tone. No matter how much you have offended someone from San Francisco, you can always make them feel better by asking them how they feel about Southern California. They will instantly talk of how it is filled with crime, pollution, hegemonic culture, and the wrong kind of white people: “I swear California is like two separate countries, and I am so thankful that I live in the cultural center of the West Coast.” This will allow them to reassert their superiority and leave the conversation with a positive feeling about themselves and about you.
Castro Photo by bkusler who has done an excellent photo essay on Stuff White People Like. Dancing Photo by amynugget.
Volvos are also acceptable for ghost riding.
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SF is a joke of city. It’s transit system is not comprehensive and is extremely slow. Yet, driving is a pain in the ass. Biking is often the best way to get around, but it would be nice if the city had other viable forms of transportation that were convenient.
hehe Actually, SF used to be a great city but now it’s so loaded with transplants of hipsters that it’s ok at best. I grew up in SF but I’m not planning on staying.
I’ve never heard anyone talk poorly about NY though, that’s a great BIG city. But LA yes…blah.
i live in Marin, just on the other side of the golden gate bridge…it’s all bikes and bong hits (let me mention the really, really great marijuana!)and bikram yoga and green tea. it’s the best stuff in San Francisco without the hippie-hating advertising nerds all hopped up on Peet’s and early adaption (and the fact that they never get laid because thay’re self absorbed assholes with nothing going for them but a steady job). but it’s green and lush and fabulous in marin, and the view of the city is cool, and it’s close enough that when you have to actually cross the bridge to deal with the assholes that have infiltrated and taken over the actual city (from places like New Jersey and Minnesota and Ohio-but now they’re sooo cool!), it’s just a quick jaunt to get back to humanity again. it’s a better shade of white over here in the valley of the shadow of the (Mt.) Tam. i seriously wouldn’t live anywhere else!
As a Frisco native who lives very much by choice in Los Angeles, I find no new revelations here — including one commenter’s observation that “if you did visit the [sic] LA and SF, I think you would see quite a difference.” Not as true as some assume: live any length of time outside California and you’ll come to understand how culturally consistent people are throughout the state.
I’ve never seen the book that came out of this blog and it’s my first visit to the blog itself. No, the irony and facetiousness are not lost on me, but I’m confused by the term “white people” to describe exclusively white LIBERAL people. A more interesting line of research might be to examine liberals as a category and make observations about non-white people who try to “fit in.” Or how white liberals feel complacently in the majority in San Francisco but, take them to Oklahoma City or Houston, and they can’t find their tribe.
Well, everything reported here seems way too obvious to be very funny. Including the fact that white (liberal) people love to laugh at their own stereotypic behavior. I think you need a new angle.
P.S. Sadly, 20-somethings all over L.A. are starting to look like San Francisco bike messengers. Shoot me now.
Well it’s obvious you’re not a true native if you said Frisco.
I would just say SF, how u feel about that?
touche!
Oh, New York. How I love New York. However, the bay area has…
Mountains!
Natural forests!
Beaches!
Napa Valley!
Big Sur, Tahoe, Yosemite… etc etc.
And can I mention, NO SNOW?
PS, and do NOT say San Fran around me, thanks.
ahahahahahah! so trueee
I’m an Asian American in San Francisco, and I nearly had tears laughing at this!! This is so true!!
The last part was on point, couldn’t get more accurate. SF folks do despise LA. In fact, but this is not limited to just white people. People from the Bay Area generally look down on Southern California. But if you did visit the LA and SF, I think you would see quite a difference.
And although SF is considerably close in distance to Oakland, I rarely ever see any whites in the Oakland area whereas Asians, Blacks and Latinos are seen all over the Bay Area.
I think it’s funny how SanFrancisconians get their panties in a wad when you call it San Fran or, Sweet Jesus forbid!, Frisco.
Really.
If I’m going to put up with city bulls@$t, then I’ll take a real city. NorthEast or nothing. West Coast cities are too warm and fuzzy.
As a San Francisco resident, I can say that this article is 100% true.
White people also love “rent control”. It’s a feel good way to feel like they are sticking it to the man. Notice how this goes hand in hand with more progressive cities like San Francisco, New York, and Berkeley? It allows Hipsters and Yuppie types alike to stay in areas they probably could not afford, and gives them a little room for spending on other things they like such as coffee, plays, and marijuana.
You are so right. I LOVE rent control. And I’m white. With it I can buy Peet’s coffee and organic produce and all the wine I want.
I work hard to live here. I hate marijuana, I don’t drink coffee, nor have I ever gone to a play. Just goes to show you this entire sight is built on stereotypes.
you’re not rad for sucking. you’re just lame for being
“Just goes to show you this entire sight is built on stereotypes.”
duh.
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