#91 San Francisco
March 23, 2008 by clander
San Francisco is one of the top US destinations for white people in terms of both travel and living. It is universally agreeable and is a safe discussion topic for any situation.
The city is considered one of the world’s premiere locations for white person research.
White people like to vacation in San Francisco because it has beautiful architecture, fantastic food, and it is near the water. They like to live in San Francisco because of its abundance of Non Profit Organizations, Expensive Sandwiches, Wine, political outlook, and most importantly its diversity.
Since many white people either live in, plan to move to, or closely identify with San Francisco it is imperative that you know how best to deal with them.
The City of San Francisco has a very multicultural population that ranges from white to gay to Asian. Within white culture this known as “ideal diversity” for its provision of exotic restaurants while simultaneously preserving property values. The presence of gays and Asians is imperative as it two provides two of the key resources most necessary for white success and happiness.
However, it is important to be aware of the fact that regions outside of San Francisco feature many people who are not white, gay or Asian. They are greatly appreciated during the census, but white people are generally very happy that they stay in places like Oakland and Richmond. This enables white people to feel good about living near people of diverse backgrounds without having to directly deal with troublesome issues like income gaps or schooling.
Still, the presence of other minorities are welcomed by white people for so many more reasons than just statistics! Much in the way that white people in Brooklyn feel a strong and unfounded connection with The Notorious BIG, white people in San Francisco feel the need to identify with rappers from the East Bay. Interestingly enough, the further they venture from San Francisco, the stronger their need to represent their region.
“Oh man, I went to the Too Short show last night. So hyphy man, so hyphy. You should come by some time and we’ll ghost ride the Prius.”
When you are presented with statements like this, the best response is to say “Berkeley is close to Oakland,” and the white person will likely nod and throw up some sort of west side hand sign.
Though it is exceptionally easy to put someone from San Francisco in a good mood, there are some caveats. When talking to a white person who lives in San Francisco, it is best not to bring up New York City. Though they live in a world class city, San Franciscans have a crippling inferiority complex about New York and even hinting at that will make them very sad or very defensive.
Fortunately, there is a fool-proof method for quickly returning the conversation to a positive, trust-building tone. No matter how much you have offended someone from San Francisco, you can always make them feel better by asking them how they feel about Southern California. They will instantly talk of how it is filled with crime, pollution, hegemonic culture, and the wrong kind of white people: “I swear California is like two separate countries, and I am so thankful that I live in the cultural center of the West Coast.” This will allow them to reassert their superiority and leave the conversation with a positive feeling about themselves and about you.
Castro Photo by bkusler who has done an excellent photo essay on Stuff White People Like. Dancing Photo by amynugget.
Volvos are also acceptable for ghost riding.
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I’ll never go to San Francisco for this one reason:
When one of my friends was young he went to San Francisco and one of the first things he saw there was a gay guy in a thong walking on stilts. Nuff said.
and why are you put off by that?
i have no problem seeing a woman do that. i am secured with my homosexuality.
Chris,
I’ll never go to your trailer park for this reason:
When one of my friends came back from the future and one of the first things he saw there was you and your sibling spouse on the front page of the Christian Science Monitor’s special olympics edition holding your albino son and daughter’s spawned offspring with the title “”Special” Miracle”. Nuff said.
Now California wants a bailout. I can’t help but feel some guilty pleasure about this. Except you guys are going down the tubes because of your own lack of fiscal discipline.
I live in Michigan and everyone in the midwest grows up feeling awe over the mystique of Cali. Almost every movie and TV show is made in Cali. most people are familiar with the cities there and where the celebs hang out.
Meanwhile, we endured our crappy long winters, factory jobs, and unglamorous cities.
Now Cali – with the richest economy in the country – has spent itself broke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!! Now you are like us here in Michigan. YALL ARE A BUNCH OF BROKE ASSES NOW HOW DO U LIKE IT!
California shall be renamed Michigan west, I mean Oakland is just as predominantly black like Detroit in some ways and high crime rates in South L.A. is what those Detroit gangs train for before their deployment. Since when Michigan is sold to Canada? I understand why Mexican-Americans in California feel, though San Francisco was already claimed to be sold to Japan. +
You are an f’ing jerk. First, you show your ignorance by your grammar and spelling. Duh, there is such a thing a spell check, and grammar check! It is free! You ramble on as if you are trying to put your thumb up you rear, you damn sure do not have a clue to what you are insinuating.
That’s because we have too many public employees, and they make way too much money and are a burden to our state. They are leftover debris from the dot com boom days but the spineless lawmakers in Sacramento are too scared to hand out pink slips. So instead of transitioning them into the much needed Green jobs that are being promised, we’re importing engineers from other countries to come fill those jobs.
Case in point, yesterday I was double parked in front of my own home waiting for my wife to come back to the car, she was getting something she forgot, when two bored Park Patrol officers came to harass me and wanted me to pull up 500 feet so my wife would have to walk further. There wasn’t any traffic so there was no compelling reason, they’re just trying to justify their useless jobs.
We need these people in other industries and become the example for how to manage ourselves again.
Socal dont bring it up, cause we’re not ghetto trash bugging their asses. They can only get better through osmosis.
It’s funny. Most whites I know seem to favor Las Vegas, OC, and LA over SF. They see SF as too expensive and “new age” or “hippie”, while the other cities seem to be more the ideal party spots for the young and shallow.
Why not? Non-wealthy whites favor Utah, Oklahoma, Alabama and anywhere with a red-color in a presidential election map. In Sou. Cal. suburban homes are foreclosed in record rates, and anyone living in Lancaster-Palmdale, Victorville and the Inland Empire (Riverside-San Bernardino) areas might well be living in the worst parts of Utah, Oklahoma or Alabama. In other words, wealthy West L.A. and Orange Coast folks dubbed the “High Desert” a land of meth labs and the Inland Empire to dump violent felons or state prison parolees. It’s no wonder not a single white person is seen in east Riverside along University Ave. or downtown San Bernardino along Rialto Ave. +
I’m from the Bay Area and I don’t hate SoCal. I actually like it. But yeah I love SF.
I have noticed that people from “the bay” and ajacent areas tend to universally love San Francisco, and loathe Southern California. Very different cultural agendas among two large cities in the same state I suppose.
This attitude holds pretty steady up into the Pacific Northwest as well…certainly in Portland where I live:
(Opinion around here of San Francisco: Yay!!! Opinion of L.A.: RAWRRR!!!)
I’m living in Bend. Portland doesn’t do it for me. I guess I’ll avoid Frisco as well.
The main gripe that people from NorCal have against people from SoCal is that they are stealing our water. Nobody is completely sure how and why SoCal has come to steal the water properly belonging to NorCal, but a person from the Bay Area will say with all earnestness that this is the case, and is a sufficient reason to hate SoCal.
The one exception to NorCal’s blind hatred of SoCal is San Diego. You will see a number of natives from the Bay Area settle there.
The water supply for Southern California comes from two sources: The Owens Valley, which is at the foot of the Eastern Slope of the Sierras, and the Colorado River. Neither of these sources is accessible to NorCal. The only exit from the Owens Valley is on the south, about 100 miles south of the source. Its logical destination is SoCal, not Norcal. As for the Colorado River, it is even further south, along the Cal-Ariz border.
So tell me again why it’s your water.
I also remember reading somewhere – correct me if I’m wrong here – that the water delivery system for San Francisco, which comes from the Hetch Hetchy Reservoir in the Sierras, was actually designed by SoCal water engineers as the price to be paid for the state’s OK for the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power (LADWP) to stealthily buy up the water rights to the Owens Valley (which is now nothing more than a saline desert, but was once groaning with orchards before the LADWP stole the water).
The Hetch Hetchy project destroyed a valley which is described as being even more beautiful than Yosemite Valley. Such is the price of population growth, industrialization and the agriculturalization of the normally arid San Joaquin Valley, whose water source is the Sacramento River Delta.
Is this the heart of your argument? – that SoCal has stolen NorCal water from the Delta to enable agriculture in the San Joaquin Valley? If so, then you are correct – but the Delta water grows crops that go not only to SoCal, but also to NorCal and indeed, the whole country.
The politics and economics of water in California has historically been a sordid, treacherous, mean and ugly business, both North and South. But without these massive and ecologically destructive water projects, California would never have become what it is today.
Come to think of it, maybe we should have just left the whole thing alone. But then, I wouldn’t be here and neither would you.
Thanks for the input on the limited water supply is what’s gonna bring an end to California, other than the San Andreas fault’s ramblings. The Cal. desert regions like the Imperial valley are running out of water for agriculture, all those San Diegans and Los Angelenos’ urge for greener lawns to water is dwindling the farmers’ irrigation water rights. The Salton Sea is the next “in” thing for L.A. mega-mansions and Palm Springs area golf courses to drain out, but careful: it’s very polluted and highly saline. +
Have you ever heard of the California Aqueduct? That is how we came to steal your water. SF isn’t exactly guilt-free in this regard, either. Most of SF’s water comes from Hetch-Hechy, which was once a beautiful valley but has been submerged in water for years in order to supply SF.
P.S. If you like San Diego, then you’ll LOVE Sacramento! There’s nothing going on there, either.
But Sacramento is ghetto, where San Diego is beautiful. Big difference!
Sacramento is ghetto? I always thought south San Diego was run-down, one section has a huge Chicano Park mural in primarily Hispanic Logan Heights, unless gentrification has kicked in. Sacramento has some very lucrative suburbs or you wouldn’t have state officials bought homes there. Elk Ridge, Roseville and El Dorado Hills appearantly aren’t for the “ghetto crowd”, although posh Contra Costa county east of Oakland is said to be more non-white than white. +
Stop breathing my air then. I have more right to natural resources than you because of the location I receive my mail.
Dee Brown, the author of “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee”, quotes an old rascal from the gold rush days in his book “The American West”, p 165:
—–
Bushrod Wilson, sailor and adventurer, described the town of San Francisco on July 3, 1850. “This place is a hard hole. Gambling, drunkenness, and immorality to excess, and a person that has just broke out in life is in great danger of being ruined here. Everything that will effect the senses is resorted to for base ends. The most enchanting music, the various forms of gambling, and obscene pictures, the allurements of women of the town, and drinking.”
—–
Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose.
Le Boulevardier
We sure do have some strange folks out there!!
WHUUU!!!- gays and all. San Fransico is a great city to live in. Sure there is sour grapes in every vine ( town or city).
You have to make the best of it. i hope some one can reply and hear where i’m coming from.
HELLO,
SAN FRANSICO!- GAY IS HERE AND ITS RIGHT!
WHAT IS ALL OF YOUR POINTS ON THIS WEBSITE?
ALL OF YOU SUCK AND NEED A LIFE . SAN FRANSICO IS WONDERFUL. YEAP !! SOME ONE ALREADY SAID IT- I HEARD IT THROUGH THE BRAIN GRAPEVINE. IT’S GREAT FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO IS A LONG PINK-PIPED QUEER. HA HA!!
SAN FRANSICO IS FOR ALL WHO WANT TO A LIFE. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOUR QUEER, MUFF LICKERS OR BI’S OR STRAIGHT AS A UNLACED STICH IN THE HEM OF A DRESS.
W.E.L.C.O.M.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Hey, why don’t you go back to San Francisco with the rest of the Jews?” – Eric Cartman verbally attacks Kyle on a South Park episode.
California’s two senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein are native San Franciscans, far-left Democrats, fire-breathing feminists and “butch”-looking Jew-esses. No wonder Eric Cartman is angry at San Francisco.
Jews are one of 3 groups of people made San Francisco the way it is: along with Gays and Asians. Oops, I left out the Wasps (the blogger is a card-carrying member) and Wops (North Beach was heavily Italian until the 1980′s) +
SSSSHHHHH! keep your voice down or you’ll have lots of white people following you home……
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