#93 Music Piracy
March 30, 2008 by clander
White people have always been renowned for having ridiculously large music collections. So when file sharing gave white people a chance to acquire all the music they ever wanted, it felt as though it was an earned right and not a privilege.
When (not if) you see a white male with a full iPod, ask him if all of his music is legal. If he does not immediately launch into a diatribe about his right to pirate music, you might have to nudge him a bit by saying “do you think that’s right?” The response will be immediate and uniform.
He will likely rattle off statistics about how most musicians don’t make any money from albums, it all comes from touring and merchandise. So by attending shows, he is able to support the musicians while simultaneously striking a blow against multinational corporations. He will proceed to walk you through the process of how record labels are set up to reward the corporation and fundamentally rob the artist of their rights, royalties and creativity. Prepare to hear the name Steve Albini a lot.
Advanced white people will also talk about how their constant downloading of music makes them an expert who can properly recommend bands to friends and co-workers, thus increasing revenues and exposure. So in fact, their “illegal” activities are the new lifeblood of the industry.
When they have finished talking, you must choose your next words wisely. It is considered rude to point out the simple fact that they are still getting music for free. Instead you should say: “Wow, I never thought of it like that. You know a lot about the music industry. What bands are you listening to right now? Who is good?”
This sentence serves two functions: it helps to reassure the white person that they are your local “music expert,” something they prize. Also, it lets them feel as though they have convinced you that their activities are part of a greater social cause and not simple piracy.
If you bring up this issue with white person who says “nah bro, I don’t give a shit, Dave Matthews has enough money as it is.” You are likely dealing with wrong kind of white person.
In the even more rare situation where someone says “it’s all paid for, and it’s all transferred from vinyl.” You have found an expert level white person and must treat the situation carefully. 
Because of the availability of music online, a very strict social hierarchy has been created within white culture whereby someone with a large MP3 collection is considered “normal,” a large CD collection is considered to be “better,” and a person with a large vinyl collection is recognized as “elite.”
These elite white people abhor the fact that music piracy has made their B-sides, live performances, and bootlegs available to the masses. Their entire life’s work has been stripped of its rarity in terms of both object and sound on the record. The best thing you can say to them is: “vinyl still sounds better.”
However, it is recommended that you do not let this conversation drag much longer. If you let them continue talking to you they are likely to spend hours talking to you about bands you’ve never heard of and providing you with a weekly mix CD of rarities that you do not want.
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People with large vinyl record collections today are insane. They are not insane because they have the collection; it is merely an indicator for their unfortunate condition.
I know for a fact I have purchased many CDs which I otherwise would have never discovered if not for P2p. How is this not a valid argument? Good riddance to the recording industry. True artists don’t do it for the money anways. The art is in no risk if dieing just an unfair industry schema which is being replaced by the internet in a system where people have a much larger selection of musicians to choose from.
I’m not declaring anything here, but if I were against p2p and the downloading that came with it, here’s what I would think about it:
I’d see you as a guy who stole a Gap shirt or a bunch of chocolate bars just to see if you liked them. If you liked them enough, you would pay for new ones when you go back to get more. If you don’t go back to buy those new chocolate bars or Gap shirts , you’ll still keep the ones you stole without paying for them. It’s not likely that you’ll throw out. Instead you’ll eat it or wear it. You get to use it without paying a cent.
Thats why some people don’t buy your argument. But because you put it out there,
“artists don’t do it for the money anways”
Did you ask each one before you downloaded their product? Do they all think the same? They may not do it for the money but I think album sales look good to their label. I’m not sure if labels look at free downloads and say “We should offer these guys a contract! They are really popular with people who don’t buy CDs or pay to download!”
You see, the whole “It’s like stealing a T-shirt or chocolate bar” is invalid as well. If you steal a candy bar, no one else can buy that one bar. But an mp3 is just a copy.
I too download albums, and if I like them I buy them. If I don’t, I’m not out any money. Sometimes I don’t delete the ones I don’t love. It’s more like going to Baskin Robbins and trying a sample of every flavor. If you like one, you get a cone. If you don’t like any, you walk out, and probably are pretty full. The biggest difference is that there’s no ICIAA (Ice Cream Industry Association of America) threatening to sue you for taking the samples.
But your metaphor isn’t accurate either. The ice cream sample is still something that will not be returned (even though were getting down to minute little entities here). It’s not coming back. Baskin Robbins takes these losses voluntarily to get more sales. If you have 31 free samples and leave without buying anything, a lot of people will see that as being dishonest/unfair/cheap/opportunistic. You should at least pay a $1 tip for the good service you got and the time you wasted.
Furthermore, the artist doesn’t come out and say “I’m giving out samples!” as far as I know.
HaHaHa…. Man when I read this I laughed so hard there was snot spewing from my nostrils. Being an older white guy with an enormous vinyl collection it’s so nice to know i’m held in such high regard. Now can I interest you in a mix tape of 60′s Canadian psych music…….
A lot of the “wrong kind of white people” read your blog. They get pretty pissed off too.
That should be a pretty small group then. First, they’re part of the ‘wrong type of white people,’ and then, they’re also stupid- if they’re offended by this blog at all.
Over all pretty true. I know I have downloaded a decent amount of music. But over all it’s more of cause I don’t care.
Over all decently funny, but probably only a B-
No shit – it’s SATIRE people.
I’ve never understood why people insist vinyl sounds better.
This explains it. Doesn’t ‘trying to be cool’ explain most illogical public behavior?!
vynil does sound better because it has a richer sound. If you have never experienced teh contrast on a very good analog system you will not be able to understand how having all those little digital bits connected by the continuous spectrum can inded make a diff.
Oh, and trying to be cool may indeed happen, but only if the individual in question makes a point out of constantly bragging about their collection regardless of the situational circumstances. If they enjoy their compulsion in relative onscurity they are simply OCD.
people insist that it sounds better cause it does (or at least it should in theory), the grooves in the record contain the most accurate representation of the original waveform produced by the instruments (a purely analog recording), digital simply replicates these waveforms at sample rates most ears probably wouldn’t catch anyway………damn, talk about contributing to the stereotype…….
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. That’s a myth. People like the “warm” sound of vinyl not because it provides a more accurate reproduction of the analog tape (it doesn’t), but because the very process of playing a vinyl record introduces DISTORTION, particularly with the amplification of overtones. it’s a nice effect, but it’s not on the original master tape. Lots of industry professionals, I’m sorry to say, don’t get this. And probably Steve Albini (there his name is again) perpetuates digital myths, too.
i love how people are talking seriously about an article that is taking the piss out of them – without realising the sarcastic nature of it – and go on arguing about the minor details or record companies and music piracy… its hilarious…
Couldn’t agree more, this is intelligent, funny stuff
well being most of the stuff I have downloaded is from live shows that were recorded by tappers where does that place me ?
Bullshit! Copyright protection is established to protect the copyrights of the recording industry. If this jackass wants to mock the argument simply because he has no counter for it, that’s his right, but it doesn’t change the fact that the recording industry has been stealing from both the artists and the consumers for a half century +. A beginning artist is offered a number of “points” against album sales. The way it went for my band was we were offered 12 points by a major label with the proviso that we had to sign away our publishing rights. It turns out that the publishing rights are the only way an artist makes any money at all on a record, because the points are a percentage recouped against promotional fees. So the band gets 12% of each album’s sale to apply against the huge gout of money the label has expended to promote the album. You never wind up in the green on that deal, because the more the album sells, the more the label spends promoting it Publishing rights, on the other hand, actually work out to a concrete 7 cents per song, which is why they want you to sign them over. How many bands have been reamed by these deals? At the other end, it costs the industry about fifty cents to make a CD, and they sell it to you for fifteen dollars, so even after all the costs of recording and promotion are factored in the label is making a fortune. The manufacturing costs of albums were closer to six or seven dollars per disc, and the average retail was about ten, so the industry produced their campaign in the late eighties to “phase out” vinyl, beacuse of the “crystal clarity” and “virtual indestructability” of CDs – what a crock. If you have a decent turntable, some wax, and a pair of ears, you can hear a significant improvement in tonal ambience and warmth from a vinyl recording. It just sounds more “alive”. And the digital encoding on a CD wears out over time, not to mention the ease of skip-causing scratches, whereas most scratches on vinyl cause a slight “popping” noise, but no skip. But there was less profit in the industry, so out it went. So if you’re trying to get me to feel sorry for the “poor recording industry”, who everyone is taking advantage of (most of my friends are black. They have no qualms about piracy.) then you’re barking up the wrong tree. The RIAA’s been on top for fifty years. Now it’s your turn.
Your so stupid, this site is great! He pegged you.
So the record music industry, the WHOLE record music industry is the MAN.
What about the people who worked at recording studios, record stores,manufacturing plants, record labels,publishing companies, distributors etc etc?
Do you now how many classic recording studios are gone?
Record stores? IF you don’t live in a big city chances are you won’t even have one in your town.
Your not supporting music, your killing it
Ahahahaha. You really mean to tell me that letting the record company have the lion’s share of the profits off the record ISN’T worth the price of entry in terms of garnering national exposure, making lots of money touring, and the ever-elusive mainstream fame? That’s BEYOND ridiculous. If it works out for you, and you’re afraid the record company’s taking SO MUCH of your money, just do what Radiohead did and release online.
about vinyl. Inherent tonal differences? I call bullshit there. Placebo effect. I’ve listened to vinyl and CDs on high quality equipment for years. It’s all about the care taken in recording. If you’re listening to one of the 12 artists that still records with analog, like the White Stripes, sure, vinyl will sound best because you never have to worry about analog-to-digital transfer. But if you’re listening to the other 99% of artists that record exclusively digitally, CDs will sound just as good or better as long as the proper care is taken in mastering.
Note the last part of that: mastering. The best example I can give as an exception to the general rule is Red Hot Chili Peppers’ latest album, Stadium Arcadium. The digital master was atrocious. They did what an overwhelming majority of record producers do now, thanks to the idiotic recording policies that developed around the rap boom of the late 90s, and they made everything loud, because for some reason they think that loud music gets more radio play automatically. The soft parts were loud. They loud parts were loud. It was horrible.
Then, when they were putting it on vinyl, someone volunteered to remaster it for them. They returned it to its original recorded form: the quiet parts were quiet, the loud parts were loud, nothing was distorted. It was great. But it wasn’t about the medium. It was about the care being taken in the recording process. So don’t tell me vinyl and piracy aren’t fads for their own sake.
I don’t know which is sadder; the bitter never-quite-made-it artist or the recording industry. Flip a coin.
Your argument is totally irrelevant because you have overlooked another thing white people like:
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/30/40-indie-music/
This totally debunks your argument as it relies heavily on the major label business model.
go limewire
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