If you’ve been in a white person’s apartment or home you might have noticed a ball that looks like a cross between an egg and a football. It is a Rugby ball and it is an important sport for white people.
They love Rugby for a number of reasons, the first of which is the fact that it is not very popular in North America. In fact, it is even less popular than soccer which gives a white person that all important edge in the contest to see who likes the most obscure sport. Though this is important, it is not the real reason why white people love the sport so much.
Rugby’s greatest appeal lies in its uniforms.
Unlike other sports where jerseys are made out of nylon or mesh, Rugby jerseys are like thick sweatshirts with collars! In fact there is no other jersey on earth that can move so seamlessly from the playing field to the farmers market
Many white people first acquire a love of rugby during their high school and college years by playing either for a school team or in the case of highly advanced white people-part of an intramural league. In fact, many white people will continue to play the sport into their early 30s at local parks on Saturday morning. If you are looking to expand your group of white friends, you would be wise to get yourself invited to one of these games. However, you should be prepared to have your crotch grabbed.
Though playing the sport is the most common way for white people to become interested in Rugby, a great number of them pick up a taste for the game while studying abroad in Australia or New Zealand. Like soccer, they are given the chance to purchase a scarf of their adopted team, but more importantly they can acquire a Rugby jersey. Unlike a soccer scarf, they can wear this garment all year long which provides for a more reliable trinket that can be used to initiate conversations about their time down under. For extra credit, some white people will declare that they are into Australian Rules Football and not Rugby. If you wish to friend this person, it’s best to ask them about the differences in rules because they will be thrilled to tell you.
Aside from playing the game with white people, there is one other surefire way to use rugby for your own personal gain. If you have determined that the white person you are talking to prefers rugby over soccer, it is strongly advised that you say: “you know, American Football players might be bigger, but rugby players are so much tougher.” Their response will be to tell you about how Football players are weak because they wear pads. This will be followed by a knowing nod or wink in your direction and an invitation to join them for a game on the weekend.
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Heh. Rugby does what it always does then, even in places like America (where one always thought it was virtually unknown): cause people in the comments section to theoretically much each others ears off. You thought Mike Tyson was tough because he viewed his opponents ears as tea-time snack? He should try that in a scrum pile, with someone’s boots raking his skull, while someone else cops a feel in all that warmth and intimacy.
Rugby in SA = a lot of neandarthals rushing around after a weirdly shaped ball as an excuse to feel each other up. All of them graduates of boys schools, so not surprising really.
or maybe i’m just bitter cos no one came to the girls’ school matches.
It’s already been said, but in New Zealand and Australia it’s the opposite. Especially in NZ, where we have so many Maori and Islander rugby players that all the cool white people aren’t allowed to like rugby anymore.
You might even get more kudos for knowing there are TWO types of Rugby Rugby Union and Rugby League.
In the UK Rugby Union is played by the upper / middle classes* (it used to be an amateur game ie the players not supposed to be paid – yeah right). It is generally slower and more violent, it used to consist of 30 men fighting in a big heap – called a ruck. But they have tried to speed it up lately.
Rugby League is played by working class men in the North of England. It is faster as they aren’t allowed to roll around with each other. But the shirts are made of nylon and start at size XXXXXXXL – so would be suitable for your average American.
* Note Rugby Union in Wales is played by working class people as there are no posh people in Wales.
I’m from New Zealand and our national sport is rugby. We usually have more people of colour playing in the All Blacks than white people. We’ve even got a Maori All Blacks side too. Though that seems to be full of more white people who are token Maori(One/Thirty Second still counts as being of Maori decent)
I fucking hate rugby, it’s boring as hell. Maybe because I was dragged around to every fucking game my brother played when I was little. And cause I never played it, I wasn’t really that interesting to my dad.
Parental resentments on the list right?
I love my folks though.
I think someone took your balls in their hands playing rugby and you got caught out, you’re not a man after all.
I fucking hate you Marcus.. for being a kiwi and hating rugby… I think that you aren’t really a kiwi.
Marcus, we stopped using fractions to define people back in the eighties bro. Or are you a fraction of pakeha? Having a Maori ancestor counts as Maori descent mate and that amounts to 78,000 kiwis who don’t identify as Maori but could and might but for ideas like yours…kia ora.i love my folks too…
booranga
Ag man kaffir,
Watch your bak about rugby, next time you come to J-berg look me up and I’ll show you how we get real bossies.
Pretty poor attempt at speak Afrikaans.
Close the door when you get your coat will ya!
i would have liked to see South Africa mentioned as we are the world champs and tri nation champs.
and every race plays rugby in South Africa, half of our national team is not white.
That’s right. But, most importantly, how do you afrikaners keep the whites and blacks separate whilst upon the pitch? The giant white line down the middle of the locker room has worked well thus far, eh?
You thick racist, now feck off back to your cave and hang yourself. Don’t comment on a country that you have never lived in.
Mr Voloshin. What is with this pathetic racist comment? “you afrikaners”??? Why should we have to keep blacks and whites separate? We’re all equal. Accept it.
gooooooooooood
little boys, little boys, little boys…
put alil love in your heart
little boys, little boys, little boys…so many little boys, I hope that my ass can take all these little boys. If not, I hope their well hung doggies do me right…..pulp fiction style
put big dick love in my ass..
YOINK!
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why i’m skrewd up is cuz my dad rapes me… Blak pwr
put a big dick in my mouth…..PLEASE!!!!
yoink
yoink
yoink
yoink
yoink
hahaha, i’m from NZ and Rugby is our national sport, basically you arn’t cool if you don’t like Rugby, though it’s common to hear people say, “nah, I’m too white” when asked if you play. It amuses me that Rugby is on the things that white people like where over here we have mostly pasific islander and maori people playing, oh and cocky white boys. but still. for all the rest of us really white people with our indie music and vintage sweaters we happily say “Rugby?eww no”
I write for http://StuffRichPeopleLove.com and rugby emerged as an upper class sport that was appropriate for rich kids while ‘football’ or soccer was reserve for the masses. In North America it is for kids that can’t make the football team or need a training vehicle / anger management outlet when football ends
Can’t argue with the rich person part, because most of the clubs I have seen are filled with rich people, but that might just be because they are all in schools from rich areas. We never had many football players come out to rugby. Most talked about how football was tougher, but would never come play with us. People don’t do well in rugby if they use it as an anger management outlet because rugby, while strength is needed, but finesse, strategy, and endurance is more important.
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