#98 The Ivy League
May 6, 2008 by clander
The Ivy League is expensive, exclusive, located in the North East, and features beautiful old buildings. All of these things are beloved by white people so logically it would seem that they all love the Ivy League. But this is not true!
White people have a tortured relationship with the Ivy Leagues, and if you broach the subject in the wrong way you can offend and even anger a white person.
But before getting into the more nuanced aspects of the subject, it’s important to know that all white people believe they have the intelligence and work ethic required to attend an Ivy League school. The only reason they did not actually go to one is that they chose not to participate in the “dog and pony show” required to gain acceptance. White people also like to believe that they were not born into a privileged (enough) family to get legacy admission. This should always be at the back of your mind as you talk to a white person about the Ivy League.
Once you have determined that a white person did not attend an Ivy League School, you should try to give them the opportunity to explain why their school was actually a superior educational experience. Some easy ways to do this are to mention grade inflation, professors who value research over teaching, or high tuition costs. Any one of these will set a white person off on a multi-minute rant.
When they have finally run out of arguments about why they chose the right school, you should say “I knew a whole bunch of people who went to Harvard and none of them work as hard or are as smart as you.” This is a very effective technique for gaining acceptance since white people need constant reassurance that they are smart and that they made the right choice with their life.
If you actually went to an Ivy League school, you will been seen as a threat so prepare for a lot of questions from white people. They will constantly ask questions about how much work you had, the type of students at the school, the professors, your dorm room, your reading lists, and they will try so hard to figure out your SAT score. They desperately need a source of comparison so that they need to figure out if you are actually smarter than them. In fact, the only way to stop this line of questioning is to imply that you only got in because of your minority status. Once you say that, white people will stop feeling threatened since they can now believe they too would have been accepted to an Ivy League school if they were a minority. It also gives them a personal story about the effectiveness of Affirmative Action.
White people also like to call their school “The Harvard of the <insert region or conference>”. Do not challenge this, it will ruin their confidence.
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yes every white person in my school dreams of going to the east coast to study something that has no use in the real world[except if you want to teach or write a book] (Philosophy, English, History, etc) and then I shatter their dreams by pointing out that asians score better on the SATS and get the minority card and are far more interesting than them.
The Ivy League actually got started as a sports conference for the 8 schools that are in it. Academics had relatively little to to with the concept.
That being said, the Ivy League has some of the best business, law, pre-med, and science degrees out there, all of which are useful for more than teaching or writing a book. In addition, Cornell has one of the best engineering programs in the U.S., it has the premier school for anyone going into hospitality (sounds kind of stupid to me, but they wind up making lots of money). That’s just one example of what the Ivies have besides English and History, etc.
If anything it sounds like you (lillian) have the complex about where you are going. I bet my SAT scores are right up with yours and that doesn’t inherently make me any more or less interesting than you.
BTW: Being asian isn’t a big boost in admissions. It puts you on almost even footing with whites, which is to say behind everyone else.
should be “more interesting than they” – clearly you’re not Asian
than is gaining new use as a preposition and thus takes the object form “them.” it’s called language change.
ggpwned.
Forget the east coast, I wanna leave the west coast and rather not go to the “third coast” known for hurricanes or humidity. I’m headed to the Rockies, less rainy than the Northwest and cooler than the southwest. I heard much of the Midwest (west of the Mississippi, not the rust belt) and Central states are less affected by the recession. Northern whites won’t stop moving to the south, preferably in the Carolinas, Georgia and Virginia. Why not go further west where the recession is most felt…until you hit Texas, the “best economy” state until recently. +
I remember meeting this African-American girl in a bar a few years ago. We got into one of those intro kind of conversations where she got around to telling me she had just finished college and how she had gone to Brown. And with that pronouncement she looked at me, lingering on the pronouncement with a certain expectation of response…waiting.
Now, I’m not American or even from the same continent, we weren’t drinking in the US and I feel no need to know the inner-workings of the US higher education system. I’d never heard of Brown. I only know of Princeton, Harvard and Yale because of their prominence in the pop-Culture output of TV, books and movies and because one woefully stupid product of those schools was George Double-ya. What the hell is Brown? Is it the new Black? I prefer Green.
And do you think if I told this arrogant piece of meat I graduated from a university with the same name as the capital city of my country (Australia) she could name it? And the answer isn’t Sydney. Ignorance and arrogance. God Bless the U.S.
hahahahaha
but um, im from america, and ive known the capitols canberra since 6th grade… just letting you know, not trying to brag or anything
SMH that “Ivy Leaguer” forgot Penn…
’06
And this article couldn’t be more true. I actually had a person tell me that their school was being considered for admission into the Ivy League, you know, in an attempt to prove to me that their education was as “superior” as mine.
Sad, but true.
LOL Cornell University
I am a dumbass I meant Bucknell….people there are essentially the people that did not get into Cornell
Cute, if just a tad spiteful. I attended a public school – Angelo State University – and I’m not defensive about it and I don’t have an inferiority complex. I suspect, however, that the writer has some issues to work through.
The real measure of Ivy League worthiness and effectiveness are the networking opportunities its schools provide and the academic excellence for which they are rightfully noted. Unfortunately, some people take an Ivy League education too far and turn it into a social club circuit. Those unfamiliar with it (or insecure about themselves) turn it into a point of ridicule.
These schools are all centers of academic excellence – but so are many public institutions like, for instance, Angelo State University (San Angelo, Texas). However, an Ivy League school like Harvard is more exclusive about who it admits and cost many times as much as a school like ASU.
If your family is well-connected, and your bright future includes potential employment at the State Department, a prestigious law firm, or a Fortune 500 company, then an Ivy League school is worth the coin. It’s even worth the coin if admission to such a coin is simply a matter of personal excellence. However, if you’re not well connected or your vision of personal excellence does not require an Ivy League education, then your Harvard Degree is simply a peice of paper. That paper won’t be worth the financial investment if you land a job with, say, a probation department.
Ivy Leaguer doesn’t even know the full list of Ivy Schools
Haha, good call! Penn ’08 baby!
…though a couple of my fellow non-whites failed out of an athletic scholarship, AA didn’t work for them!
Work harder than the majority for it. Ride the back of the white man and know when to get off.
O please. Everyone knows that Princeton doesn’t count
(Just a bunch of stupid pretentious of nobodies. No one important went there. The Kennedys were all in Harvard).
Within the Ivy League and to all Ivy Insiders, everyone knows…
For the Humanities / Liberal Arts
Yale>Harvard>Dartmouth>Columbia>Princeton>Cornell>Brown
Yale is the toughest to get into for Whites and Asians. They try so hard to recruit black & latino.
Harvard is impossible for anyone to get into except for blacks and latinos unless they have a political family connection or are child prodigies.
Dartmouth is for all the rich white WASPs who lost out their “rightful” thrones at Harvard and Yale to minorities.
Columbia is for all the GLBT, Jewish, international and metropolitan crowd.
Princeton is for the dumb but rich, snobbish and arrogant.
Cornell is for the all the poor smart people of all colors, who saved their money up 3 generations for their first Ivy League grandchild.
Brown’s for beavers and JFK Jr. That we all know.
Ivy Leaguers check your family tree to see you’re black or American Indian enough to get in too! I have no plans for the UC or CSU systems here in broke/bankrupt California. My Mom’s relatives suggested NOT to move in Oklahoma, though it seems so nice right now. Utah has BYU known by the LDS church, where doctrine said American Indians are the lost tribe of Israel or California is getting “gay” except I’m not.+
O please. Everyone knows that Princeton doesn’t count
(Just a bunch of stupid pretentious of nobodies. No one important went there. The Kennedys were all in Harvard).
Within the Ivy League and to all Ivy Insiders, everyone knows…
For the Humanities / Liberal Arts
Yale>Harvard>Dartmouth>Columbia>Princeton>Cornell>Brown
Yale is the toughest to get into for Whites and Asians. They try so hard to recruit black & latino.
Harvard is impossible for anyone to get into except for blacks and latinos unless they have a political family connection or are child prodigies.
Dartmouth is for all the rich white WASPs who lost out their “rightful” thrones at Harvard and Yale.
Columbia is for all the GLBT, Jewish, international and metropolitan crowd.
Princeton is for the dumb but rich, snobbish and arrogant.
Cornell is for the all the poor smart people of all colors, who saved their money up 3 generations for their first Ivy League grandchild.
Brown’s for beavers and JFK Jr. That we all know.
Hey, i went to Penn which is Ivy League. And has the best undergraduate business school anywhere.
Bill Nye went to Cornell. He trumps everyone that you’ve listed. From your logic, Cornell is the best.
Sounds like you’ve got a bit of superiority complex. The day you graduate from college (with either an undergrad or graduate degree), how successful you are depends somewhat on your connections, a great deal on how hard you work, and a bit on luck. Where you went to school probably gave you some connections, but it doesn’t guarantee that you will be successful in life.
hmm… So Einstein was dumb?
You sound like an idiot
are you serious?
That person is bitter about not being able to get into the Ivy League.
Some Other Things Black People Like…
Cool Aid, Watermelons, and being late to appointments
That would be Kool-Aid….you obviously are not an Ivy Leaguer
Things Black People Like….
Fried Chicken and not working!
that’s not funny. you’re buying into a stereotype that slave owners used to keep black people down.
nope, I know this for a fact, black people love fried chicken, and it is true for the most part do not enjoy working/refuse to do it, full time, for any length of time
As a black person, I must concur. Fried chicken is delicious and not working — seeing as how my tech business is doing so damn well — is preferred.
This is so true! As a black Yale grad, I can totally relate to this. I often get the line “well, you must have gotten a good scholarship.” The line about trying to covertly discover your SAT score is also spot on.
I believe you man.
White people love to use scholarships and the idea of affirmative action to defend their own underachievement in academics.
If a non white person ever becomes succesful its because they were helped.
anyone notice the tokenism going on this picture? its so wrong.
they have some black people in their just to make them feel diverse when in reality most ivy league schools are dominated by whites.
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