#101 Being Offended
May 28, 2008 by clander
To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past. This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy. But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people. In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended.
Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people. In fact, they don’t even have a problem making offensive statements about other white people (ask a white person about “flyover states”). As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.
It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended. They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference.
White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops. All of which do an excellent job of raising awareness among white people who hope to change their status from “not racist” to “super not racist.”
Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people. Missing an opportunity to be outraged is like missing a reference to Derrida-it’s social death.
If you ever need to make a white person feel indebted to you, wait for them to mention a book, film, or television show that features a character who is the same race as you, then say “the representation of <insert race> was offensive and if you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.” After they return from their hastily booked trip to land of your ancestors, they will be desperate to make it up to you. At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house.
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Hilarious! What I also find hilarious is the ad by Google: “looking for a beautiful Asian bride?” with white man holding Asian lady. Anyone offended? That’s irony right there. Hahahahaha.
I’m beginning to think the blogs are just a tease. It’s the comments that really keep people coming back for more. So the blog is a stereotypical view of whites. Okay, so what? Are there not stereotypes for every race out there? I’m fairly sure none of the entries are meant to be blanket statements, but wouldn’t “Stuff White People, You Know, In General, Like” be a less catchier title?
It amazes me, constantly, that everything still comes down to racial factors. I’ve never understood tagging the ethnic origin onto “American”. I’m German by ethnicity, but do I tell everyone I’m “German-American”? No. Why? Because I’m not. I’m an American. Period, end of sentence.
And yet, we (I’m speaking of white people now) are consistently and constantly being accused of racism merely because we are, in fact, white. Take, for instance, “Pride” t-shirts. Black pride, brown pride, yellow pride (is there such a thing?) – these t-shirts are allowed in American schools without issue. However, were a white person to wear a white pride shirt, it would commented on at the least.
With a German background, my ancestors have done some not so pretty things to other races. However, I, myself, have not. So why do their actions, of which I had no control over, dictate that I should be considered a racist purely because I’m white?
Plain and simple, the world is full of colors, people are people everywhere and life goes on.
I think you will find by definition you are actually german-american.
So if people ask that should probably be your resopnse.
I’m sensing your ashamed of that and thats why your denying the fact, but you shouldnt be. Just be proud of who you are – german-american
Hey Mike Booth, last I checked, nobody asked you.
put alil love in your heart
Hey enigma, last time I checked your not an enigma at all!!!
Haha wanna-be. seriously what sort of a name is that?
Hey Mike B, suck a fat di…………(sigh) I guess that would not work on because you said you ARE gay. Damn, I can’t even shove my nuts in your mouth cause you may like it.
Up yours……nope, not insulting to you either. This sucks. Wait a minute, I know just what to say to you, screw TAGS mom, everybody else has. No worries, I will think of a more appropriete insult for you later.
put alil love in your heart
No way ho-say
You cant insult me because I am 100% right
You are not an enigma at all, you proably wish you were but your not.
PS how do you know so much about my private life?
As for tags Mom, thats just offensive, he wouldnt say that sort of stuff about you.
I think yuo need to grow up……….. and change that name while your at it
Hey Mike Booth, your a dumbass. I could insult you typing with one hand tied behind my back. I don’t insult gay people unless they deserve it. I showed your flower ass alil mercy and you prove that no good deed goes unpunished. Look FAGGOT, you are defending someone who said this to you,
“Mike Booth on August 23, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Im gay and find all of this offensive
You included
Reply to this comment
tag on August 25, 2009 at 11:45 pm
i am no racist but i absolutely hate faggots. do you understand you will go to hell? what should gay parents teach their kids, to not be so god damn gay or what?”
It’s on this page dumbass, scroll down and take a look. I hate stupid faggots like yourself. I don’t have a problem with gays, just YOU. You are the definition of a true bitch ass gump. Oh yeah, more shame for you to think about…..
“Mike Booth on August 23, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Pretty offensive stuff
I honestly dont know why peopel bother reading this garbage.
I stuggle day in day out, and yes I am easily offended. But that is all a part of struggle. I would appreciate it is you guys would lay off a bit hey
Reply to this comment
tag on August 25, 2009 at 11:34 pm
you seem like some stuck up white person. i’m sensing your’e an asshole and need to let people express their views in a friendly and relaxed forum such as this.
Reply to this comment
Mike Booth on August 27, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Ooookkkaaaayyyy
Nobody asked you, racist, homophone
Reply to this comment
Mike Booth on August 30, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Hey tag look at the comments above
The ‘enigma’ is indulting your Mom
I tried to stick up for you because your hot but I dont know
Just wanted to let you know”
YOU LIL FAGGOT. And I mean that in the bad way, suck a dick and choke. I hope Fag, my bad, Tag rip you a new one.
put alil love in your heart dumbass
Anyone up for good ol’ fashioned ethnic jokes from a time we forgotten? Here are like 6 of them I heard of:
“What’s an Irish wedding and a funeral? One less drunk”.
“What’s big, black, and has white keys sit there in a living room? An Italian grandmother”.
“How do German people tie their shows? In Nat-zis.”
“The best of French cuisine: Eating babies and drinking pee.”
“The motto of the Greek Army in the Falkland Islands war. Save the sheep.”
“How a Black man signs his name: X
A Polish man signs his name: X ski. “
Pretty offensive stuff
I honestly dont know why peopel bother reading this garbage.
I stuggle day in day out, and yes I am easily offended. But that is all a part of struggle. I would appreciate it is you guys would lay off a bit hey
you seem like some stuck up white person. i’m sensing your’e an asshole and need to let people express their views in a friendly and relaxed forum such as this.
Ooookkkaaaayyyy
Nobody asked you, racist, homophone
Hey tag look at the comments above
The ‘enigma’ is indulting your Mom
I tried to stick up for you because your hot but I dont know
Just wanted to let you know
Hey Mike Booth, take a look at my butt, you can kiss it Loser.
put alil love in your heart
mexicans==grass cutters, laborers, blowers, garbage cleaning
asiatics==studying, colleges, science, laboratories, hello kitty
indians==smelly food, slurpy’s, 7-11s, smelly house, medicine
whites=volvos, office work, gadgets, watching lots tv/”news”
blacks==free college, cheaters, no threshold for self control,POd
irish==drunk, stupid, drunk, stupid, Boston
lol, I love the Irish one!
Nice of you, tag to offend everyone and you demonstrate a hatred of humanity. You could do a list of gays, lesbians, women, men, transies and gender stereotypes, they are worth the controversy of offending someone. Hey you heard of a joke why women love to wear white on their wedding day? It matches the kitchen appliances.”+
tag-dumbass loser who has a dildo stuck too far up his ass.
put alil love in your heart
Yet another great post.
If you guys out there are looking for another humor site to read, check out http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com. It’s similar to the Onion.
I may not not be asian but I still do not like you.
Wow, I can’t believe the comments that people post. I’m not going with offended but just shocked at how mentally stunted some people are. I get some hate mail at http://StuffRichPeopleLove.com but the things people write here are outrageous. Congratulations Internet for allowing people complete freedom without consequences!
Offensive jokes not to say:
“What can a pizza do but a black man can’t: A pizza can feed a family of four”.
“Have you heard of a black guy on that’s Incredible?: He had a job and knew who’s his father.”
“What’s black, yellow and falls down a cliff: A school bus full of black kids.”
“How does a wealthy white guy gets hurt? He has tennis elbow.”
“What do you call a Jewish football game: To get the quarter back.”
“You heard UFO sightings peak around Mexican holidays? Those illegal aliens need to go back to their world”.
“How come the Cuban national swim team didn’t show up in the olympics?: They all swam north.”
“What’s a Puerto Rican credit card called? A knife”.
“What is a rich American Indian? He carries around a blanket and a wooden nickel in his denim jean pocket.”
and “Why was the Arab men so unhappy? His jacket didn’t go off or didn’t explode.” +
What’s white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!
What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It’s hard to find them in the snow.
What did they white guy do before his blood test?
He studied.
How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
9 months
What’s the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.
LoL! White jokes are the best, tell me more please
We need more humor in the world when a black man is elected president and the world’s largest economy is China ruled by Asians. I knew a few Canadian jokes, but I don’t want to get in trouble in consideration of the blogger’s nationality.+
Being a Canadian
Your Ad Here
COLD IS RELATIVE ….
The Temperature Conversion Guide (degrees are in Fahrenheit):
50 above – New Yorkers turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
40 above – Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
35 above – Italian cars won’t start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
32 above – Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
20 above – Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.
15 above – Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.
Zero – New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
10 below – People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles.
20 below – Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.
40 below – Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent videos.
60 below – Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
80 below – Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough.
100 below – Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
173 below – Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw their kegs.
297 below – Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below – ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying”Cold’nuff for ya?”
500 below – Hell freezes over. The Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup
I got a joke or two for you yeah uh huh, don’t want you to miss out on the fun.
“What is long and hard full of seamen? Besides a submarine, the dick shoved up yeah uh huh’s ass”
“What happened when dirty ass yeah uh huh went to take a bath? The water jumped out and said I will wait til you’re finish”
“You hear about yeah uh huh’s family reunion? It will air next week on the tv show Jail.”
“What can a pizza do that yeah uh huh can’t? Make an intelligent statement.”
“What do yeah uh huh and a fisherman have in common? They are both master baters.”
“Why is yeah uh huh so unhappy? His black teenage boss demoted him from flipping burgers to fries.”
“Why is yeah uh huh considered rich? He is always getting large deposits in his mouth from men he sucks off.”
Speaking of large deposits, I am about to deposit a mighty load in your mouth too bitch, shut your racist, gay ass up.
put alil love in your heart
Im gay and find all of this offensive
You included
i am no racist but i absolutely hate faggots. do you understand you will go to hell? what should gay parents teach their kids, to not be so god damn gay or what?
Hey Tag, as in tagged in the butt with a 30″ dildo, shuddap already. If I wanted your opinion, I would have given it to you, you lil HOMO, excuse me, undercover HOMO. The one thing I hate more than a racist, is a dumb, redneck racist with a bad memory of their words and too dumb to realize that not everybody falls for their I’m not a racist bull. Membah deez words gimp
tag on August 23, 2009 at 10:54 am
mexicans==grass cutters, laborers, blowers, garbage cleaning
asiatics==studying, colleges, science, laboratories, hello kitty
indians==smelly food, slurpy’s, 7-11s, smelly house, medicine
whites=volvos, office work, gadgets, watching lots tv/”news”
blacks==free college, cheaters, no threshold for self control,POd
irish==drunk, stupid, drunk, stupid, Boston
And your not a racist? Well possibly. You being a IDIOT, definetly.
put alil love in your heart
Hey Mike Booth, who cares. Not I so get over it.
yeah uh huh
you are too funny! those stereotype jokes are so true!
Edmund Tranny
You are so stupid, no wonder your dumbass would laugh at those stupid jokes by yeah uh huh. Dumbasses of a feather get buttfucked together.
put alil love in your heart
You are a disgusting racist bastard.
Thanks for the accompliment, Taylor…as you can see you’re offended, and being what it is the internet, you knew I was talking nonsense about groups of people, not my real opinion. I don’t like racism, plus the jokes about whites and American Indians (I’m 1/4 or 1/5th). I was about to go off on the “an Italian, an Englishmen and a Frenchmen” joke on how they flirt in a sidewalk cafe, from my own paternal French side, a la Pepe le Pew and detective Clouseau. +
Yeah uh huh, you are not slick you racist dumbass. What the hell are you talking about when you say your (1/4th or 1/5th)….?…. what is that suppose to mean. I will help you out. You are 100% dumbass. I was’nt offended by your jokes, someone has to have some level of intelligence to offend me. Guess what, you don’t have to worry about that now do ya. First you still someone else’s name, then your boring ass diatribes you write in the name are humor and satire are only worthy of putting someone to sleep from boredom. Face it, your a dumbass. You need to just
put alil love in your heart
“still someone else’s name…”??? LOL!
like I care………
As in my grandfather came out of an Indian reservation in Oklahoma, one of those states where racists completely ran the state governments. He had a full-blood mother, but a 1/4 Indian father also of Scottish ancestry. What does that make him 2/3rds? The blood quantum degree legality issue is a huge problem among millions of mixed-blood white/Indian people, and the Cherokee Nation’s part-black Cherokee freedmen issue on whether or not grant them tribal membership went on for 40 years. +
That was very interesting and informing yeah uh huh, I understand your point of view more clearly now. Not only are you a idiot, but your a MUTT too. Being a mutt does not give you the right to be-little your fellow man. That just aint very loving. I hope your gramps see your written handy work so that he can shove a peace pipe up your butt.
put alil love in your heart
Damn, man, they’re just jokes! Leave him alone and “put alil love in your heart” by letting it be! Go do something else! I found those funny and I’m not racist/ a dumbass.
I ain’t one dumbass or racist either, an overused term on anyone who simply talks about race or social issues. How about your college professor? Is he a racist? Nope…they got to be smart, qualified or know the subject. And is a politician like Sen. Barbara Boxer ticked off the leader of the NAACP a month ago. Is she a racist? I don’t think so. +
For the record, I am not talking about any of my college professors or Sen. Barbara Boxer, I am talking about YOU. The term is not overused, especially when it is being used approprietely. The fact that you enjoy saying not so loving things about other races with no remorse and then you cowardly attempt to hide under the cover of “Im not a racist”. Sorry yeah uh huh, yes you are. And a not so bright racist at that.
put alil love in your heart
ps
“yeah uh huh on August 24, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Anyone up for good ol’ fashioned ethnic jokes from a time we forgotten? Here are like 6 of them I heard of:
“What’s an Irish wedding and a funeral? One less drunk”.
“What’s big, black, and has white keys sit there in a living room? An Italian grandmother”.
“How do German people tie their shows? In Nat-zis.”
“The best of French cuisine: Eating babies and drinking pee.”
“The motto of the Greek Army in the Falkland Islands war. Save the sheep.”
“How a Black man signs his name: X
A Polish man signs his name: X ski. “
Just because you know some white jokes, don’t make you any less a racist. It makes you a bigger IDIOT.
No J, you are not only a racist and a dumbass, but you are also a Jackass. Get it, J as in Jack-ass. LOL
You don’t think that was funny, tough shit. I do and that’s all that matters.
put alil love in your heart
One more (sorry, I forgot the Asian race the blogger likes so much), a ton of jokes are said about them yellow people:
“How does the Chinese kids in class get so ahead in test scores? They look over white kids’ papers through slanted eyes…you can’t tell they’re cheating.” +
Oh sorry, I got one more for you beeeotch, I just could not resist giving you one more to grow on yeah uh huh.
“How does yeah uh huh get ahead in class? He unzips the teachers trousers under the desk and sucks what rises”
put alil love in your heart
WTF….. seriously
Grow up, and get a real one
I honestly actually think this strictly must be referring to white Americans in the homophobic/sexist piece. I have never met a white person in any other country except the USA who was offended by such things…in fact they found it hilarious and were able to take most of it as fact.
Most things on this blog are US white centered.
I understand how some can be about Canadians or Europeans, but a large amount are impossible outside of America (Ivy League, San Francisco, New York Times…) It could be retitled “Americans are Dumb.”
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