#101 Being Offended
May 28, 2008 by clander
To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past. This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy. But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people. In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended.
Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people. In fact, they don’t even have a problem making offensive statements about other white people (ask a white person about “flyover states”). As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.
It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended. They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference.
White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops. All of which do an excellent job of raising awareness among white people who hope to change their status from “not racist” to “super not racist.”
Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people. Missing an opportunity to be outraged is like missing a reference to Derrida-it’s social death.
If you ever need to make a white person feel indebted to you, wait for them to mention a book, film, or television show that features a character who is the same race as you, then say “the representation of <insert race> was offensive and if you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.” After they return from their hastily booked trip to land of your ancestors, they will be desperate to make it up to you. At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house.
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…little boys…
The next entry needs to be “trying to appear like you’re not racist”
Trust me, white people are TERRIFIED of saying the wrong thing around black people (Sorry, African-Americans. Please don’t think I’m racist) because of the 1% chance that it may be perceived as racist.
Ahahahaha so true.
It’s funny how much white people tiptoe around mentioning race, and if they ever say anything race-related they give you that glance like “omg I hope I didn’t offend you.”
that’s odd, because everyone i know doesn’t give a damn if someone is being offended. In some cases they actually start offending others just for sh**s and giggles.
I’m one of those people you speak of. However I do work with quite a few of the other douchebags.
Thanks for sharing informations.Looking forward to more stuff.
The one thing we know about freedom of speech and expression has limits, don’t offend anyone with them. But we can’t tell who we offended until it’s too late. When one discusses things with an ability to offend a group of people, it’s time to be prepared for offending anyone at all. +
Also we don’t have assholes in cheap suits calling themselves “reverend” running to our defense over every tiny incident that involves a black person and going on a month long tangent about it.
agreed
haha yes because blacks don’t get their anuses to the point where it could crush diamonds when something “offends” them (and by extension ALL black people).
What a chucklefuck.
“As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.”
Yes, and right now the American Humanitarians are best friends with Palestinians and they are “protecting” them from the mean Israelis. Ten years ago, they charged ahead with the “adopt-a-gay-man” movement. Ironically enough AIDS has gone up 33% among homosexual men over the past decade. It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that all these “Graces” weren’t involved with the previous generation of “Wills” who dropped like flies from AIDS and therefore they paraded this new generation of gay men around in rainbow covered flags, could it? Nah. I mean, it’s obvious they knew there was more to a gay man than just his sexuality.
The decade’s “swing group” or the kind the white majority feels sympathy for is the Muslims after 9/11, in the 90s it was the Mexicans, the 80s was the Asians, the 70s was the Gays, the 60s was the Blacks and the 50s was the Jews. Can we go back to wanting be “Indian”, “Irish”, “Italian” or god knows, “Israeli” and expect everyone who’s not your kind to not say a word about you whenever you’re around? +
So … you’re angry about *what* now?
I know that I am a loser and nobody respects my opinion. For the last couple days, I have been stealing enigma, uh huh, louiecoolgato, etc, etc. I have single handedly ruined a blog site with my ignorance and stupidity. I have no life, I just sit here in my moms basement trying to think of clever things to say, but I never do. I hate my life, I secretly wish I were born black and I also wish I voted for Obama. I apologize Mr Enigma for smearing your good name, I will attempt to not do it again, but you know, sometimes, idiots like myself can’t help doing the things we do. I’m like a mad dog, I just…..do. Please forgive me for making a fool out of myself, all of you on this site, I apologize.
ps, Mr Enigma, you don’t have to tell me, I know, I got your nuts in my mouth.
i like to drink cat urine!
Cats took offense to what you said. Cats fought hard to be allowed in restaurants, department stores or libraries. We love cats…cat liberation…cat power! +
Lol in the absence of having any cultural slurs thrown at them, what better to do then pick up the slack on a group of peoples that have been put down? I think it has spurred simply out of not being included in the name game. They just wanna join in on the pain of ‘our’ people.
Shweta, that is just plain ignorance. I grew up in an all black neighborhood, in almost an all black city and encountered PLENTY of racial slurs. It is also ignorant to suggest that white people have no culture when the majority of white people still maintain ties to the country of their family’s origin. Stuff White People Like is fun satire, but it isn’t an invitation to be an idiot.
look, a white person being offended!!
now it’s my turn.
“an almost all black city?” what the fuck are you talking about?
I came upon this today thanks to links posted all over the site: the right for white folk to say the “N-word” doesn’t exist…and parents in today’s post-racial America figure out how to instruct their children not to say the word in any context, and why a person of color can without restraint.
http://blogs.babycenter.com/momformation/2008/07/24/the-n-word-whos-allowed/
Everyone is allowed to say the “N-word”. Hell, I typed it before but the post never showed(damn Politically Correct websites)
Just do it like this N.I.G.G.E.R., ya see how easy it is to say wats on your mind!
Jason, the blogger lives outside the US (Canada) and have their own laws regarding freedom of speech. It seems you can write the “F” word with ease, since most web sites will have a bad-word filter to block the entire word. +
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