#101 Being Offended
May 28, 2008 by clander
To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past. This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy. But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people. In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended.
Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people. In fact, they don’t even have a problem making offensive statements about other white people (ask a white person about “flyover states”). As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.
It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended. They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference.
White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops. All of which do an excellent job of raising awareness among white people who hope to change their status from “not racist” to “super not racist.”
Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people. Missing an opportunity to be outraged is like missing a reference to Derrida-it’s social death.
If you ever need to make a white person feel indebted to you, wait for them to mention a book, film, or television show that features a character who is the same race as you, then say “the representation of <insert race> was offensive and if you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.” After they return from their hastily booked trip to land of your ancestors, they will be desperate to make it up to you. At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house.
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This is so true, a subclass of this people are those who write to newspapers trying to outdo each other in what they find offensive. But real white people don’t say “I was offended..’; they say ” I was dissapointed ..” Every time you see a letter to the editor that includes the word ‘dissapointed’ , you can be sure it is from somebody who gets a huge pleasure from finding things wrong.
Ah, and white people never ‘don’t know’ something, they just ‘aren’t sure’ about it; and they never don’t understand what’s going on, they just get ‘confused’.
hahaahha very well written.
Mike D. is an unemployed jaded white man. Sad to see brown people doing better than u huh?
Pedro who mows my lawn is doing better than me!?
Wow, you learn something new everyday!
As long as Burger King is hiring, I will always have a job. +
Uh Smartfoot, so what if I’m an unemployed white man? I can always work at night selling my ass to white boys like you. If you got five dollars, you too can have my ass for an hour, big boy.
wink.+
Here’s a site that will OFFEND: http://makefunofmyfriends.com
Michael D, you are the darkest bump on your moms fat butt and it is time you apologize to all the fine people on this site. We endured your stupidity for far too long and now it’s time to PAY WHAT YOU OWE! (where have i heard that before?)
You stole my name and said stupid things, attempting to smear my already humble name. You posted the lamest comments known to mankind and hijacked entire sites for your own stupid amusment. Well judgement day is here, I see your sorry but decided to run like the wuss that you are, but not before you pay what you owe. I still have my name BEEEEOTCH, what about you? YOu can dish it but you can’t take it. You want US to leave you alone dummy, APOLOGIZE. Apologize for being a moron, for being a blogging terrorist who writes boring post, for calling me UH HUH and other folks on this site. If your dumb butt can’t figure out that their was more than one person sticking foot up you ass, then your a moron. It’s a shame that the best post ever posted with YOUR name were writen by other people. So apologize and all will right with the world again. We found you once, we will do it again.
“and you will know my name as the LORD, when I lay my vengence upon thee”
Sweet dreams sweetheart
Funny and well written.
Man, I should have listened to the video I posted, maybe I would’nt be in the position I am in. Bent over with my pants down. Sucks to be me.
You should not have started all that racial shit Mikey. It seems that you thought you can bully with your stereotypes, but it backfired on ya!
What’s the difference between you talking about african americans like you do and I’m talking about you with a disability?
Same bigoted shit, different groups.
Stop your bullshit and I’ll stop mine.
goooooooooooooood
Because Maya Angelou isn’t dead yet.
No, actually she is dead.
Brain dead…
How to be politically correct at the workplace is a guide to office etiquette and diversity training, esp. the clip was made on the historic day when Barak Obama was elected president. I guess the tension about a black man, another Democrat and of Islamic heritage can enter a workplace environment. Also the hot issues of gay rights, bilingualism, cultural clashes and religious practices must be “avoided” except it’s up to wealthy white PC police (your boss and the EEOC) decide what to do with “undiscussable” matters. +
“How to be politically collect” haha, I think that was a Freudian slip on her part…
just shut the fuck up, will you?
Whatdayaknow? An older black woman has the “wisdom” no young white male possessed in issues/matters of talking about diversity.
Why can’t we have someone else like a blue-skinned/ teenage/gay/metrosexual/transgendered/blind/deaf/one-handed/immobile/autistic/psychopathic/pagan/Messianic Jew/Italian/Korean/Apache/Armenian/Eskimo instead? +
Did i tell everybody that I’m a certified autistic, dick in the ass loving cali boy? Oh, and I love little boys and their puppies.
…just shut the fuck up, will you?
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