#101 Being Offended
May 28, 2008 by clander
To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past. This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy. But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people. In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended.
Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people. In fact, they don’t even have a problem making offensive statements about other white people (ask a white person about “flyover states”). As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.
It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended. They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference.
White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops. All of which do an excellent job of raising awareness among white people who hope to change their status from “not racist” to “super not racist.”
Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people. Missing an opportunity to be outraged is like missing a reference to Derrida-it’s social death.
If you ever need to make a white person feel indebted to you, wait for them to mention a book, film, or television show that features a character who is the same race as you, then say “the representation of <insert race> was offensive and if you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.” After they return from their hastily booked trip to land of your ancestors, they will be desperate to make it up to you. At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house.
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White People love parades! Especially when they get to organize them and be important. Then they give themselves an award afterwards.
They also like getting jobs in national security so they can snoop on their ex-wives and read their email and tap their phones. They love that stuff.
White people love getting jobs in the Federal government, cause first of all it’s a reliable paycheck that doesn’t require that much work. You get paid to show up.
And White People also love getting desk jobs during wars, so they don’t have to do combat duty – then after the war, they tell everybody they’re a combat veteran
I know what else White People like – they love to be Patriots – get drunk, party on – and wave the flag. They love that.
What do black people like Shari?
Oh yes shari, spot on. I see this all the time
are you guys really so immature you need to make fun of her grammar? or make fun of thers spelling errors? serioulsy grow up!
You know what got left off the Stuff White People Like?
White People like to intellectualize everything. They’ll argue for years over pointless nothing just to try to outwit each other, and win nothing. I guess you could say that white people like to shoot their mouths off.
Well, im white, and id much rather shoot my mouth off than get my mouth shot off in like you do you splooge guzzling cunt.
haha. so true. I admit it.
Guess it is too true..I often find my self saying that that and this offended me!
At the risk of cementing the declaration above, I’ve only met one black person who preferred to their race being called African-American. Everyone else seems to be perfectly happy referring to their race as “black”. Just like I’ve NEVER met a white person that preferred to be called Caucasian.
I must admit, however, that I have not come across an Indian (American Indian, that is) that wanted to be called red (nor Native American) or an Asian person that wanted to be called yellow. Then again, there are quite a few Hispanics, I dare to say Mexican, since I live in the southwest United States, that proclaim Brown Pride and such.
Interesting. Black and White okay. Red and Yellow, not so much. For some, Brown is okay, too.
Walt D in LV
Lots a material for amusement there. It doesn’t matter what you call a negro, queer, mexican or any other minority, they are going to be offended anyway. With the exception of most Asians I know. The rest of them keep making up different way’s they prefer to be addressed, like forcing white people to address them differently is going to change who they are. Which coinkydinkly, keeps defining the new word with the same meaning they were offended by from the last one.
Unable and completely unwilling to grasp this simple truth keeps all their panties in a perpetual knot, and hating on straight white people, who really don’t give a rats ass how they feeeeel about pretty much anything. We are all to busy trying to support our families and paying the taxes that subsidize the offended parties so they can have time on their hands to whine about how unfair white people are.
Hm thats interesting. In Canada, we refer to south asians as “Brown”, and south american and hispanic people (difference?) are referred to as “Mexicans”, which is obviously politically incorrect.
yeah. where i live, indians are brown and mexicans are mexicans
im from canada,
brown is ppl w/ brown skin who don’t fit into the 4 largely referenced categories
south asians–and white ppl whose only coloured friends are south asians–refer only to south asians as brown
…not a rule, just a general observation
Chicano and I’m Brown and I’m proudG
uantes, chingazos, simon tu sabes, get down
Right now, in the dirt What’s the matter?
Afraid you’re gonna get hurt?
—————————————-
La Raza
by Kid Frost
White people love old school hip hop.
Is this drivel, negro dialect or something else?? I didn’t understand a word.
Speaking of being offended, I read about two So. Carolina state senators apologized for a newspaper editoral remark about Jewish frugality. What they said about Jews are said to be negative stereotypes and carry a weight of historical anti-Semitism behind them, such as “Jews’ penny pinching” and “Jewish cheapness”. Read on the news article.
http://news.aol.com/article/south-carolina-republicans-edwin-merwin/727501
Right no affence to any of you !
But to be honest black and white people are equal. White people do not know some things and yes they can get affended easily.
Yeah! – for example, to be honest, sum wite peeple cannoot spel jus lighk udder folkes.
HAHAHAHAHA OH GOD STOP YOU ARE GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK WITH YOUR RAPIER WIT HOW DO YOU EVEN THINK OF SUCH GENIUS HUMOR????!!!?!?!?! YOU ARE LIKE EINSTEIN EXCEPT WITH JOKES INSTEAD OF KILLING JAPANESE PEOPLE
Hey White Girl,
once you learn to spell offend correctly you may state your opinion. It’s hard when mommy isn’t here to proofread your work, isn’t it?
Anyway, for the sake of keeping you from dire embarrassment, I suggest you buy yourself a portable little Webster
you literally understand nothing.
I’m sure glad you didn’t miss that opportunity to be justifiably outraged and insulting about that young ladies grammar. I almost thought it was going to be completely ignored.
This book should have been titled, “What liberal fruitcakes like”.
“that young ladies grammar”…..? How about “the young lady’s grammar”.
Well considering that the word “offended” is part of the the title, the young lady should be ashamed of herself! Are people so lazy that they can’t scroll up and get the correct spelling of a word?
Touche
i love fighting!
thank you for providing a perfect example of the passage above, Ms. i’m ganna put my 2 cents in to make myself feel better
@Righteous Guru
Sir, I find your depiction of spiritual masters as people who flippantly disregard justified outrage highly offensive.
If you can’t see that, well, you need to do some soul searching.
Ben, you’ve offended me with your statement!
ha!
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