The Stuff White People Like contest received over 685 entries! Unfortunately, narrowing that field down to three winners proved to be too difficult and the decision was made to award the prize to five people with each of the winning entries to be posted this week.
Each winner will receive a copy of Stuff White People Like, and the top three entries will receive a DVD of The Onion Movie because they sent in three copies to be given away.
Thank you to every person who submitted an entry, the response was incredible.
Congratulations Mark Huber of Roxbury Crossing, MA for sending in the first winning entry:
Menus with no decimal places
You can always spot the chic white person as they sit in the padded seats of a nice quaint, posh restaurant staring at the menus. When the other person asks, “What are you having tonight, James?” the reply can often be found to be, “I’m having the Lobster Pillows with Crab Demi-Glaze. It’s only 12.″ That’s right, white people have grown to love restaurants with such advanced math calculations as getting rid of those pesky decimals and something that is more aesthetically pleasing to our eyes and pocketbooks.
Menu prices with decimals seem to confuse the white person in recent times, making one wonder, “Where should I round up or down to get an accurate price?!” With the invention of dropping decimals from menus, white people have solved the problem for themselves. Tax? No problem. Jane, who works in auditing, sitting across the table, has long had all applicable taxes calculated for you upon entering through the door.
Most of these restaurants, save McDonald’s, are posh up-scale restaurants with abstract names or hardly even names at all. “M,” “The Lavender Chateau,” and “Rendezvous 387″ are a few of the restaurants white people can count on for easy math, a tasty dinner, and of course, other white people. Don’t forget to look at the tapas menu: those items are only 3! Would you like to upgrade your aged prime-rib to the 12oz. portion? Sure, no problem, it’s only a 4 increase! If decimals were thrown into the mix, it would throw the entire equilibrium out of balance.
Plaza Greens for $5.99, or Plaza Greens for 6? Throw the nines in mix and that’s way too many numbers for any white mind to deal with. Even Jane in auditing would have to break out her financial calculator.
Photo by Prosto Photos
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