Being Excessively Early For Events, Classes, Meetings, Work, Parties, Etc
By: Eve A.
White people will frequently show up to various events 15- 35 minutes early for no reason at all. A favorite quote used to explain this phenomenon is “Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable”. What this means and why they live by this quote no one really knows, but it is a mantra that white people frequently recite to themselves every morning, as means or ensuring their timeliness to whatever function, they will be attending. In fact, this timeliness requirement extends to all areas of life, whether they are attending a social function, such as a party, where no one cares if you show up at the exact time it starts or to work, where being on time actually matters.
There is only one exception to this rule, which is when there is a limited supply of something that is deemed ultra-important by the white community, such as concert tickets, computers or other sale electronics, or reality television spots. White people may show up, 8- 24 hours early, instead of the normal 15-35 minutes, for these special cases, even if it means sleeping on the street in middle of winter (which is also referred to as camping) and foregoing “non-essential” things such as showering, brushing your teeth, and even eating.
Note- To gain the full approval of white people, being early is an absolute requirement. By arriving 15 minutes early to a class, one will gain their approval, but to gain their utmost respect and admiration you will need to show up 25 minutes early or more. They will automatically see you as a person who has attained a level of earliness, which can only they strive to achieve! Additionally, you will earn bonus points if you give a look of disapproval to people who are late or inquire about the cause of the tardiness of people who fail to meet this timeliness requirement. This will show you that you are genuinely committed to this super important cause and want to fix this societal ill.
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LOL. Me to a ‘T’ when I’m at school. I’m always 1/2 hour early for all my classes. It makes my classmates crazy.
IST baby! Indian Standard Time = unacceptable by my white friends and my meetings with work colleagues
While I’m in class… my computer is making $$$$
************************************** 
Want to make $700/month from your computer?
Then get with the program!!
W W W . L I V 4 E . C O M
This website is great…
Here’s another hilarious website you should take a look at: http://www.somethingyoushouldread.com
Or, you were in the Military at a young age and were trained to relieve the watch 15 minutes before the appointed hour, or it cost you—-And I don’t mean 5 bucks.
More like 1/2 months basic pay, 2 weeks restriction to the ship or barracks, and 2 hours extra duty for 2 weeks.
Not what white people like in the original example, more
White liberal elitist.
I used to work in a restaurant where that quote was painted above the door to our dressing room. But I think that makes sense to me in the world of waiting. You NEED to be early in order to get ready for your shift and change. Especially if you’re coming in during the evening and you need tables transferred to you.
OH-MY-GOD. I’m a first generation American. My family, my extended family, and, to the extent of my knowledge, my people are perpetually late.
But it’s like…not a big deal.
I dated this white guy for a while. He was not only early to every paltry event of his life–he BRAGGED about being early, like about how “punctual” he was…and he would occasionally scold me with that stupid little quote.
This is the more illuminating quote, in my opinion: “Time is money.” America is a capitalist society. In this country, especially in the northeast, where I grew up, you’re raised to believe that sticking to a grid–calender, cul-de-sac, min. 4-year college education–is the ideal. Why? This type of meta-standardization is more efficient. It increase output…
This is why I was diagnosed with “ADD”. I have a “disorder” because I happen to see the tautological absurdity of the concept of “being on time” in the American sense. I’m not sold. Sry!
Can all you people complaining about grammar and the style of writing work out that this is a published story from a WINNER of a contest the blog writer held?
This piece is not written by the normal person, as it is a reader contributed item.
Yeah, but there are lots of typos in the regular entries as well.
Damn, this is annoying, too . . have you ever been in the shower when these &^%$# show up?! It’s a control mechanism: if you ask guests to come at 7:00 and presumably stay until midnight , you’re telling them you’re giving them 5 hours of your time. People who show up a half-hour early are infringing and getting more than you want to give. Bastards!
Yep… haha- that’s me to a tee. funny stuff.
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