Comparing People to Hitler
By: Isaac “Absent” Amirian
Being a truly advanced white person means being able to speak with authority about pretty much any field of conversation- especially politics. In order for white people to streamline the process of knowing everything, all human beings can be neatly filed into one of two categories: People I Agree With, and People Who are Just Like Adolf Hitler.
Comparing people to Hitler is an easy way for white people to get a strong point across to the less enlightened, or the insufficiently white. Everyone knows who Adolf Hitler was. And everyone knows that Hitler was very, very bad. Therefore, if a white person really, REALLY, doesn’t like something or
someone, he or she may angrily say something to the effect of, “This is exactly the same kind of thing that Hitler used to do!” accompanied by varying levels of profanity based on blood-alcohol content. No matter what your gut reaction may be at that point, do not disagree with that white person. Otherwise, well, you love Hitler.
This time-tested white-person maneuver may seem so awesomely useful to you that you are tempted to go out and try it right now. Not so fast. White people have spent the last 30 years perfecting this technique. There are cultural guidelines.
It’s also critical that you avoid the fatal mistake of getting creative and comparing people you don’t like to other evil dictators, such as Joseph Stalin or Fidel Castro. With few exceptions, white people are actually fond
of almost any dictator not named Hitler, and your remark that “this is just like something Mao Zedong would do” will be met with blank stares and possible social alienation. This is because, with the exception of Hitler,
oppressive dictators share a passion for many of the things white people love- such as universal health care, conspiracy theories, caring about poor people while being filthy rich, and cool hats. Stick to the script and
compare things you don’t like to Hitler, and Hitler alone.
Now, like most reasonable people, you might find this strategy distasteful, and even a bit disrespectful, since after all, Hitler was responsible for the deaths of tens of millions, and probably doesn’t have that much in common with Pat Robertson, in perspective. If you prefer to avoid hearing or using the Hitler technique, we recommend you speak in soothing, affirming tones around angry white people to prevent the phenomenon from manifesting, and change the subject tactfully. To something that doesn’t involve George
W. Bush.
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What about the two African-American college reporters in a health care town hall speech stumped Barney Frank? One of them had an altered portrait of Obama with the infamous short mustache? Comparing Obama to Hitler is wrong and white people claim it’s wrong to depict a Black person and liberal activist like that (and gasp, Barney Frank is Jewish!)
Stuff white people like: To argue about stupid crap like whether Europeans are the “white people” that this blog is talking about…shut up and laugh at yourselves!!!!
Hey sisters “D”, Europe was unfortunate to have Hitler and Stalin while the USA only cringes on the thought of Bush and Obama ever being elected president. The PC crowd and radical righties always compare a political opponent or criticizes people for “sounding like Hitler or a communist”. The USA never got over the past, we just feel Hitler hated Jewish people or black people to make him “evil” and most Americans never even heard of Stalin but anything remotely like a socialist economic policy we never had makes it “evil”.
Home Skillet Biscuit,
so you might not compare people to Hitler in an uptight fashion, but what about other stuff that white people do? Do you smell of wet dog for instance, or love sushi? When you dance, do you do it in time with the music or according to some private rhythm in your own head? Probably no white person does ALL the things that white people love to do, but I think if you search this site and others like it thoroughly, you will find something that applies to you.
You can compare extremely bad-bad people to Stalin, unless you are talking to a russian, for them the tens of millions killed people were just nessesary to build The Great Empire of USSR.
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This counts only for non-european white people. Europeans would never dare to make a comparison like that.
that’s bullshit. non-european white people? what population is this exactly? the european population that colonized the world? there are no other types of ethnic white people, but europeans.
I believe what Lisa means is European people who’ve lived in Europe and/or know the weight of comparing something to Hitler. You don’t need to act like such a smart-ass.
Non-european white people are typically white people who never lived in Europe. Such as Americans, Canadians, Australians, Kiwis (New Zealanders), South Africans, and arguably, British, Irish, and Scottish (as the UK is not a part of continental Europe). As the Canadian-born child of an Australian father and a mother from the Caribbean who lives in Asia and has never been to Europe (or the UK), I would have to classify myself as a non-european white person.
Asians and Indians (the kind from India) have done their fair share of colonization, just not typically outside of Asia/Asia minor (Ask a Korean how they feel about Japan’s colonization at the turn of the 20th century).
And while black people may not have been conquerers, their world-wide presence is certainly a product of colonisation as is highly visible in the majority black population of most of the Caribbean despite the existance of indigenous tribes prior to their arrival. The same can be said for hispanics/latinos who tended to come from the relations of Conquistadors and indigenous populations.
Getting back to Europe, southern europe was variously conquered/colonized by the Moors, the Greeks and the Romans, among others. Eastern europe was variously conquered/colonized by the Romans and the Huns among others. And let’s not forget the UK which is a colonial amalgamation of the Roman empire and various Norse/Viking/Germanic invaders along with native tribes such as the Picts and Scotii.
Africa has another long and storied history of colonization by various groups, made all the easier by inter-tribal warfare and a low level of technology.
America’s colonization, while not long and storied is attributable to similar reasoning intercinine fighting and low technology. I, for one would be in favour of returning to indigenous people most, if not all of their traditional territory provided:
1. That they can show that it’s ownership/common usage was _never_ in dispute with another indigenous nation.
2. They plan to return to the way of life they were experiencing prior to colonization. ie No modern transportation/housing/power/vehicles/equipment/technology/medecine/international commerce.
Go back to living in a hut, subsistance farming, homemade bow and arrow hunting, and fighting the elements day in and day out on the little bit of land that your forefathers never had right of usage dispute with their neighbors over, and let me know how that works out for you.
Hitler was indeed the kind of man of his time (the early 20th century) to view his people “the white Aryan Nordic German race” are smarter, morally proper, civilized, advanced or holier than thou. Most white Americans before WWII such as the KKK admired Hitler and the Nazi party, in fact political activists during the great depression wished for a similar Hitler to be elected president of the USA to do away with the “Negroes”, “Chinamen” and of course, “Zionists”.
That doesn’t make a man of any time kind.
Yeah. All white people are european. Just because you’ve conquered a country (or continent) and “misplaced” the indigenous population doesn’t mean you’re suddenly non-european.
precisely.
This website is great…
Here’s another hilarious website you should take a look at: http://www.somethingyoushouldread.com
White people???? Are you racist or something? I am white and I find this offensive. I am not a control freak who calls people hitler! get your information right fucking asshole!
Don’t forget Jews are white people, though the neo-Nazis in the USA always attacked other Caucasians such as Arabs, Armenians, Iranians, Indians and Latinos/Hispanics. Does it make you question about the validity of race being more a social construct? The Nazis declared Jews not to be legally Germans, took away their German citizenship and pseudo-scientist experts declare Jews to be “Mongoloid” or “Mulatto” whose ancestors are from the Middle East. Such racial hysteria is what helped bring on the holocaust and genocide of people we now considered to be white.
oh god. a white man’s offended. shit. what to do. we should close the website down or something. hahaha
Home Skillet buisuit. you are silly, and have trouble taking a joke.
Don’t be so darn sensory and just appreciate its humor. Its stereotyping yes, but its HILARIOUSLY stereotyping. Geez, these blogs are not for people with concrete minds. Lighten up.
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