#105 Unpaid Internships
July 20, 2008 by clander
In most of the world when a person works long hours without pay, it is referred to as “slavery” or “forced labor.” For white people this process is referred to as an internship and is considered an essential stage in white development.
The concept of working for little or no money underneath a superior has been around for centuries in the form of apprenticeship programs. Young people eager to learn a trade would spend time working under a master craftsman to learn a skill that would eventually lead to an increase in material wealth.
Using this logic you would assume that the most sought after internships would be in areas that lead to the greatest financial reward. Young White people, however, prefer internships that put them on the path for careers that will generally result in a DECREASE of the material wealth accumulated by their parents.
For example, if you were to present a white 19 year old with the choice of spending the summer earning $15 an hour as a plumber’s apprentice or making $0 answering phones at Production Company, they will always choose the latter. In fact, the only way to get the white person to choose the plumbing option would be to convince them that it was leading towards an end-of-summer pipe art installation.
White people view the internship as their foot into the door to such high-profile low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits, and anything associated with a museum. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions.
If all goes according to plan, an internship will end with an offer of a job that pays $24,000 per year and will consist entirely of the same tasks they were recently doing for free. In fact, the transition to full time status results in the addition of only one new responsibility: feeling superior to the new interns.
When all is said and done, the internship process serves the white community in many ways. First, it helps to train the next generation of freelance writers, museum curators, and director’s assistants. But more importantly, internships teach white children how to complain about being poor.
So when a white person tells you about their unpaid internship at the New Yorker, it’s not a good idea to point out how the cost of rent and food will essentially mean that they are PAYING their employer for the right to make photocopies. Instead it’s best to say: “you earned it.” They will not get the joke.
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Forget about an unpaid intern. when I was self employed, I was an unpaid extern…
Visit: So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager
fucking stink boxerino
the only thing white people love more than the unpaid internship is complaining about having an unpaid internship….talking about how they work the hardest and having to make coffee, yet an intern is never forced to be there. hey, if interns dont rock up for the day no-one really notices untill they want a cup of coffee. thus, the love of the unpaid internship stems from a desire to complain and feel poor, as the disenfranchised middle class white person who is so sad about never experiencing pain and suffering in there life so often desires. this is also a result of a void of cultural heritage which has been lost in the mist of european cros cultural expantions, globalisation, and the incredible weight of inherited white guilt. in short welcome to the cultureless culture, the self deprocation party.
im white
http://journalofthieves.wordpress.com/2007/12/07/androgyny-magazine/
You’re 100% spot on Pete, I would add that young unpaid intern type white girls are easy prey.
Are unpaid internships worth it? Read the reviews http://www.rateinternships.com/
Unpaid…ummmm NO!
White people LOVE Money…(and using capitalization)
MJCorder.com
Unpaid internship, the only thing I refused to do in college!
i hate unpaid internships … but then again, I’m not white.
Unpaid interships are the worst!! You are the office bitch and then you don’t even get paid for all ur hard work. You may as well just try and prove that bigfoot exists. Some guy apparently did that. Check out this news article at http://www.garbarrassing.com (click on the garbarrassment of the day, august 15, near the top of the page) to see what this guy did to prove big foot exists. It’s hilarious
Dudes…
I thought that I had snagged a paid internship with an architecture firm (kind of an artsy one, though), but the economy went to shit and they couldn’t pay me. I declined to work for free, but for a while, wondered if that was the best idea; I was having trouble even getting interviews, and was about to begin applying to Panera or something equally vapid (bills, you know?). I was depressed so I quit job-searching and went surfing. I was in the lineup next to this older guy on a longboard and we started chatting about “the environment and stuff” (chew on this: I’m a Forest and Soil Ecology and studio art double-major…white?), and as we’re both about to get out of the water, he tells me to come on down to his office at the US Army Corps of Engineers “to talk,” but I should bring my CV. Three weeks later, he offered me a job working on the Everglades Restoration Plan with a good salary, benefits, and the opportunity to have grad school paid for completely. Moral of the story?
Fuck your resume. Surf hard.
Ironically, I was studying abroad in Lebanon, looking for an unpaid internship when this was written..
You know what else white people like? Promoting our blogs: http://www.levantinesummer.blogspot.com
White people do like promoting their blogs!!!!! By the way if you wanna check out a news article about the stupidest employees (who wokr for burger king) in the universe, go to http://www.garbarrassing.com and check out the garbarrassment of the day. These people are soooo dumb.
You know what white people love? Having blogs promoted to them! So keep it up!
I feel bad for Goldman Man…despite overpaying for an MBA, then slaving for an Ibank to pay off the MBA and now facing unemployment due to something they call a ‘credit crisis’, he still doesn’t know what ‘unpaid’ means. So sad…
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