#105 Unpaid Internships
July 20, 2008 by clander
In most of the world when a person works long hours without pay, it is referred to as “slavery” or “forced labor.” For white people this process is referred to as an internship and is considered an essential stage in white development.
The concept of working for little or no money underneath a superior has been around for centuries in the form of apprenticeship programs. Young people eager to learn a trade would spend time working under a master craftsman to learn a skill that would eventually lead to an increase in material wealth.
Using this logic you would assume that the most sought after internships would be in areas that lead to the greatest financial reward. Young White people, however, prefer internships that put them on the path for careers that will generally result in a DECREASE of the material wealth accumulated by their parents.
For example, if you were to present a white 19 year old with the choice of spending the summer earning $15 an hour as a plumber’s apprentice or making $0 answering phones at Production Company, they will always choose the latter. In fact, the only way to get the white person to choose the plumbing option would be to convince them that it was leading towards an end-of-summer pipe art installation.
White people view the internship as their foot into the door to such high-profile low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits, and anything associated with a museum. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions.
If all goes according to plan, an internship will end with an offer of a job that pays $24,000 per year and will consist entirely of the same tasks they were recently doing for free. In fact, the transition to full time status results in the addition of only one new responsibility: feeling superior to the new interns.
When all is said and done, the internship process serves the white community in many ways. First, it helps to train the next generation of freelance writers, museum curators, and director’s assistants. But more importantly, internships teach white children how to complain about being poor.
So when a white person tells you about their unpaid internship at the New Yorker, it’s not a good idea to point out how the cost of rent and food will essentially mean that they are PAYING their employer for the right to make photocopies. Instead it’s best to say: “you earned it.” They will not get the joke.
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While I’m in class… my computer is making $$$$
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Want to make $700/month from your computer?
Then get with the program!!
W W W . L I V 4 E . C O M
Always get paid! It’s the American way to do things!
LoL, Dang this is funny. haha, I gotta tell my friends about this site.
lol this is funny. I never saw unpaid internships in this kind of way. “Paying your employer to employ you”
that’s probably because you’re white
this site….cracks…me…up.
- Mila
I drive a green Prius with an Obama bumper sticker and, over this past summer, I worked for J. Crew. The summer before that I worked at a Starbucks in NYC to make spending money during my unpaid internship at a magazine company. This upcoming summer I have another unpaid internship at a law firm. Currently, I attend an Ivy League University and am majoring in a liberal arts (English). My parents’ cars both have bumper stickers that say, “Proud Parent of a ___ High School Honor Roll Student” because I am their gifted child. My family votes democrat and lives in a suburb of Manhattan. I don’t own an iPod, but I have a Creative that’s filled with Mos Def, Wu-Tang Clan, Bob Marley, The Beatles, Mahler, Berlioz, and tons of other classical artists.
Yeah, except my dad is Hispanic and my mom is asian.
Man, I love this website because by these standards I am 90% white, aiight? (I say, using a hip-hop blackcent ironically)
fooled me.
This website is great…
Here’s another hilarious website you should take a look at: http://www.somethingyoushouldread.com
I’m pretty sure this has more to do with the fact that Americans are becoming increasingly concerned with career success and will do anything to get there.
Not quite, it’s more of a class based phenomenon, and affluent black and brown, as well as white young Americans jump eagerly for these unpaid internships. Interestingly enough, these same affluent black, brown and white Americans espouse the lies about “jobs Americans won’t do”, referring to the formerly well paid jobs, less affluent citizens used to be able to lift themselves up out of poverty with, purely because they couldn’t imagine soiling their soft, uncalloused hands, by engaging in them. They don’t know any working poor or lower middle class citizens, and don’t care to. They only know that the bigger the corporate profits that mommy and daddy earn, the bigger the trust funds and allowances they receive, so rationalizing the status quo that is no different than that which supported the slavery they might purport to be offended by, is crucial.. they just need to censor their less affluent fellow citizens, by means of ritual defamation, thus the crocodile tears about cheaper foreign labor wanting a, “better quality of life”, and evil working poor and lower middle class citizens being “racist” and “xenophobic”, despite the fact that those less affluent citizens are speaking out in defense of their need to work to support themselves and survive, and the fact that many of those citizens speaking out happen to be black or brown, as well as white.
Frankly, no one can claim to care about “basic human rights”, when they are denying the civil rights of less affluent citizens, including the basic human rights, they try to hide their greed, corruption and hypocrisies behind.
So, it’s not stupid white people, it’s stupid and corrupt, affluent black, brown and white people, and their stupid, corrupt, affluent black, brown and white parents, as well as their stupid, corrupt, affluent black, brown and white politicians, and stupid, corrupt, affluent, black, brown and white media talking heads, and so on…
LMFAO. It’s not about race? It’s about CLASS? Yeah, since there are so many minorities with rich parents/grandparents/multi-generations of wealth. 99% of rich corporate thugs are white. You’re like those white supreme court judges calling Sotomayor racist. We get it, you’re a self-loathing rich white kid, but what about Carlos Slim?! God damn greedy brown mexicans. Lol.
You sound like you are one of the black/brown people….lots of anger there….anyone can have the resolve to better themselves; regardless of position; it takes brain power and using the brain power to get ahead and the fortitude to recognize that it’s up to you, no one else. Until people realize that opportunities are made by oneself, and not given out at birth or by a government, then the cycle will continue.
No way. They sound white as hell, trying to distance themselves from their rich white upper class neighborhood. Mary, this site makes fun of things you do. We don’t care about your justifications about why and how someone like you is so insightful as to change their evil ways.
Someone didn’t get their UBS summer internship…
I had to quit my job where I actually made decent money to dedicate my time to my unpaid internship for a non-profit organization. I’m such a lucky white person!
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