#107 Self Aware Hip Hop References
August 18, 2008 by clander
Among the wrong kind of white people, there are few more hated than the wigger or whitethug. Though it is very acceptable and common for the right kind of white people to dress and act as though they were Japanese, Chinese, or European, it is completely unacceptable for them to act like rappers.
This distaste caused a dilemma for white people who had to show both that they loved hip hop but also that they were aware they were white. The brilliant solution they came up with was to appropriate hip hop words and mannerisms and filter them through a white appropriateness system.
For example, white people find it particularly hilarious to take slang and enunciate every word perfectly.
“Homey, that bernaise sauce you made is wack. Do you know what I am saying? For Real.”
“Well, I used a different type of butter. I switched the style up, so let the haters hate and I’ll watch the deliciousness pile up.”
Since the above exchange involves people who are very aware of their whiteness it is hilarious, but if it were to be said by wiggers, it would be tragic. The difference is subtle but essential.
This is also an excellent way to make white people like you. If you can recite rap lyrics with perfect enunciation, they will always find it funny. As a rule of thumb, the more popular the rapper, the funnier it gets. Best options: 50 Cent, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, or Jay Z. Note: avoid Kanye West as the irony of reciting his lyrics with perfect English is not as great.
In terms of physical actions, there are few things white people enjoy more than throwing up fake gang signs in photos. Again, the same rules apply: if it is done by wiggers it is tragic, if it’s done by the right kind of white people, it’s hilarious. It’s not a good idea to mention how these signs have often resulted in awful, senseless deaths– that will ruin the joke.
In both cases, the actions are done in hopes that a white person will be recognized as “one of the good ones,” who love hip hop, but don’t try to appropriate it in any non-hilarious ways.
In both cases, your best response is to say “did you go to the last Dead Prez/Roots/Mos Def/Twaleb Kwali/Michael Franti concert? It was incredible. I smoked weed and kept this one finger up for almost an hour!”
Though this information has very little use in and of itself, it could be the final piece in the puzzle of cementing your white friendship. At the very least, it is a guaranteed way to help your progress.
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For a white person to talk like a hip-hop artist straight from da’ hood, it makes him “educated”.
For a black person to do the same, he’s a “criminal”.
And for a white person to talk like a country/western artist, he’s an “uneducated hick”.
Now what’s wrong with this picture? Racial stereotypes, that’s what.
Yes, and in some cases, it’s very funny, because most of these seem to be true. But they aren’t. Not all white people do these things. It just so happens, that certain white people did them, and the observer thought it was unusual or hilarious and pointed out that ALL white people do them. It is just not so. Particularly when you can see that most everyone, white people included like to be known for their individuality and style, and that no one would really be caught dead doing the same things over and over again.
All “hipsters” (for whom the author writes about) do these things. It is actually more hilarious that he nails the Urban White people so well. I find myself reading it and thinking this guy is probably the hippest of them all cause he knows everything.
beige race on November 8, 2009 at 2:25 pm
For a white person to talk like a hip-hop artist straight from da’ hood, it makes him “educated”.
For a black person to do the same, he’s a “criminal”.
And for a white person to talk like a country/western artist, he’s an “uneducated hick”.
Now what’s wrong with this picture? Racial stereotypes, that’s what.
“For a white person to talk like a hip-hop artist straight from da’ hood, it makes him “educated”.
lol not likely
But for a black person to talk like a country/western artist it makes him funny.
Us whites do this to show our disdain for this genre of music. By monotonously reciting these lyrics, we have the golden opportunity to show contempt for two things at once; blacks who produce the music and sub-whites who enjoy it.
Maybe Jonny, but if you had the balls, you could just come right out and say it. After your first ass kicking, you’d probably give up your cowardly game. Also, you ignorant prick, it’s “We” whites, not “Us”.
Jonny, I apologize. Sometimes it’s so hard to get this damned Prozac bottle opened…
I’d be more inclined to believe that if you were in possession of a widely popular tongue-in-cheek website relating to Caucasion tendencies of your very own. That aside anyone notice how the author of this entry didn’t use the word “black” even once? Talk about playing it safe.
Hey, Home. This shit is dope, yo. You be rocking the ironic white boy flavour. Word.
i dress like a european cuz i beleive it shows how i truly am. so if u cant handle that then i guess im just waaaaaaaaaayyy to gangster for your cracker bitch asses. so put that on your cock and suck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCH WUT?????????
So it’s acceptable for me, as a white person, to dress like a European? Being European I find that comforting. Clothes are expensive, and anyway US stores never deliver to us, so I don’t have much choice.
I hate u!!!!!!!!!! WHERE R U FROM???????????? NAZI LAND????????????? FUCKIN HATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have my moments, but i always feel stupid and unfunny if i don’t act like a stereotype white guy
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