#107 Self Aware Hip Hop References
August 18, 2008 by clander
Among the wrong kind of white people, there are few more hated than the wigger or whitethug. Though it is very acceptable and common for the right kind of white people to dress and act as though they were Japanese, Chinese, or European, it is completely unacceptable for them to act like rappers.
This distaste caused a dilemma for white people who had to show both that they loved hip hop but also that they were aware they were white. The brilliant solution they came up with was to appropriate hip hop words and mannerisms and filter them through a white appropriateness system.
For example, white people find it particularly hilarious to take slang and enunciate every word perfectly.
“Homey, that bernaise sauce you made is wack. Do you know what I am saying? For Real.”
“Well, I used a different type of butter. I switched the style up, so let the haters hate and I’ll watch the deliciousness pile up.”
Since the above exchange involves people who are very aware of their whiteness it is hilarious, but if it were to be said by wiggers, it would be tragic. The difference is subtle but essential.
This is also an excellent way to make white people like you. If you can recite rap lyrics with perfect enunciation, they will always find it funny. As a rule of thumb, the more popular the rapper, the funnier it gets. Best options: 50 Cent, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, or Jay Z. Note: avoid Kanye West as the irony of reciting his lyrics with perfect English is not as great.
In terms of physical actions, there are few things white people enjoy more than throwing up fake gang signs in photos. Again, the same rules apply: if it is done by wiggers it is tragic, if it’s done by the right kind of white people, it’s hilarious. It’s not a good idea to mention how these signs have often resulted in awful, senseless deaths– that will ruin the joke.
In both cases, the actions are done in hopes that a white person will be recognized as “one of the good ones,” who love hip hop, but don’t try to appropriate it in any non-hilarious ways.
In both cases, your best response is to say “did you go to the last Dead Prez/Roots/Mos Def/Twaleb Kwali/Michael Franti concert? It was incredible. I smoked weed and kept this one finger up for almost an hour!”
Though this information has very little use in and of itself, it could be the final piece in the puzzle of cementing your white friendship. At the very least, it is a guaranteed way to help your progress.
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I’ve had friends who wouldn’t date a black guy because they were black but would seek out only these sort of white guys because she liked how they were black. What does that even mean?
nobody white (cept for 20 somethings) digs on ‘rap’ or ‘hip-hop’.
it’s the next ‘disco’ craze for the brutha
why can’t any of these negroes play an instrument.
like the guys in ‘war’?
that was some funky shit, mah niggiz
That picture is classic.
“Though it is very acceptable and common for the right kind of white people to dress and act as though they were Japanese, Chinese, or European”
White people dress as though they are European? Perhaps they do that ‘cos they are European. A lot of European people are white, whether from England, Germany, Italy, Poland or Cyprus. Is the author on mescaline? Fucking bellend.
#9843857 - Arguing for and against the musical validity of hip hop in the comments section of a blog post intended to make fun of exactly that
Again, a totally idiotic post. Oh, if you like rap and your white you’re a wigger. What an asinine commentary. I’m 52, have loved rap for years, and am not some white guy who tries to be black, which is what a wigger is. And when I rap, I don’t enunciate my words. What a load of bullchips. Another case of racism by trying to prohibit white people from participating in what is perceived to be a “black only” musical style. Sad and pathetic.
If you read this post again, you will notice that the author never states that “ALL” white people who like rap are wiggers. The author is making a caricature of the fine line that white people have drawn between liking rap music and ‘co opting’ african-american culture. He is drawing our attention the absurdity of referencing hip-hop culture in a self-referential manner in order to show that “we understand that this isn’t really ours”. It’s satire! Perhaps if you are incapable of properly interpreting satirical comedy you should not bother reading this blog
White people who wish to pay tribute to the cultural contributions made by the hip hop nation en toto, should keep in mind that they should offer mad props and not be dissin’ the artists out-a-hand. They should best step correct, and then simply step off like they did back in the day.
Fuh what it’s werf.
I’m sorry people, if you try to identify with hip-hop related stuff, like hand signs or clothing style or whatever, if you are into that kind of stuff just because you think it will make you “cool” or “hip”, you really need to get a life. Hip hop is more commercial and mainstream than Hanna Montana.
And I know the hip hip-hop fans will say, “well, there’s the underground artists like [this] or [that] that I’m really into.” Ok, yeah, thats nice, whatever. Ask any of those ‘artists’ to sing or play a musical instrument, and the vast majority would be clueless and inept.
Remove the vocal track from ANY hip hop song, and you have the most boring repetitive, and simple percussion patterns that probably took about 5 minutes to put together in FruityLoops. I mean, c’mon… 2 bass kiks, a snare, and occasional clap roll, and maybe two synth notes. Viola, you’ve got a hip hop song without lyrics. Write a javaScript to generate the lyrics. Yawn. Jeez, I could write a javaScript to generate the drum loops too.
Don’t get me wrong, I like some hip hop, but I just don’t see the obsession people have with it. Its simple disposable fluff like techno and trance.
I think you have misconceptions about what hip-hop is or at least what its appeal is to “hip-hop heads” as opposed to casual hip-hop fans. Hip-hop instrumentals are basic, I agree. But I think it’s not without purpose. The focus should be on the lyrical content and the beat shouldn’t distract from that. Rather the beat should compliment the theme and the vocals of the artist. Mainstream hip-hop makes the mistake of making beats too complicated and the lyrics too simple. Personally, I don’t listen to hip-hop for just the vocals or just the instrumentals. I also think that you can’t analyze a hip-hop song fairly if you look at them in isolation for one another. Not to mention the simplicity makes the music easier to dance to (similar to techno and trance) which is important.
It’s also not fair to say rap artists are not talented if they can’t sing or play instruments. Firstly, you give them no credit for writing capability. If you believe they can generated by a machine then maybe it’s not worth discussing with you. Secondly, you ignore the fact that they must actually deliver the lyrics in their performance and there is more to it than simply reading out loud. It would be like saying actors have no talent if they don’t write their own lines.
tl;dr If you “just don’t get it” don’t assume it’s disposable. Techno and trance I can do without, though.
Hahahahaha too true! I’m occasionally guilty…usually I’m too busy carefully enunciating chatspeak, though.
What about this guy?
http://deadmanparty.wordpress.com/2008/11/10/atmosphere/
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