#111 Pea Coats
October 2, 2008 by clander
As the temperature starts to drop, many white people are forced to start wearing winter coats. Though many will simply don outdoor performance gear, a great number will turn to the #1 white winter jacket of all time: The Pea Coat.
The Pea Coat was originally worn by sailors and members of the European Navy. If you think about it for a second, this means that the coat is European, Coastal, and Vintage. Three of white people’s favorite things.
Another common characteristic of the coat is that white people will write their names on the label inside the coat. This is not done for fear of theft, but rather as a necessary precaution against party mixups. You see, when a white person attends a party in the winter time they will often be required to put their jacket in a room with literally dozens of other pea coats! Since these coats often contain ticket stubs to the same concerts and identical Trader Joe’s receipts, it can be impossible to find the original owner without a name written inside.
Like with sweaters, the process of acquiring a Pea Coat is almost as important as the coat itself. Fashionable white people can purchase designer pea coats for well over $1000, but the top ranked white people purchase their at Army Surplus stores. This makes them feel better than the white people have spent thousands of dollars on an identical piece of clothing.
But perhaps the greatest value of the pea coat is its ability to help you determine which non-white people have been accepted into the ranks of white people. It is not known if the coat is given to them in an elaborate ceremony or if they buy it themselves, but in either case by wearing the coat they are telling the world that they have white friends.
Long story short, if you want to increase your popularity with white people this winter, get a Pea Coat.
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duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….
a diyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….
still nobodies telling me why whites like ta pee on der coats.
dohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….
@Hap:
Y’know, I have seen that at a couple of the biker hang-outs around town. I hadn’t really considered the potential for disaster with a leather trench on a Hog. These were the kind of dudes that would bruise the earth and whatever they landed on if they wrecked. Tough bastards. If I had the funds, I’d be wearing the hell out of those threads….however it just ain’t the same unless you have a killer bike and, alas, I do not. I stick to the black leather jacket, black boots, and jeans anymore. Low maintenance and there isn’t anybody I care to impress nowadays. For a guy my age, I’m not in the worst condition except for some missing bones, extra scars, and some well earned laugh lines.
In another hindsight, I’d almost swear Hunter Thompson making note of biker attire in a few of his books and stories. From what I want to recall, it was pretty much exactly what you described. It sounds right for the 60′s and 70′s also. We saw a lot of it in California back then, but not so much when we moved to Texas in ’73. Talk about culture shock…*Wooo!*
Hey I have a pea-coat, only took me 4 years on a warship to get it…..
Chukula – before the Goths, the bikers used to ride in black leather trenchcoats (I know, you’d think the long tails would get caught in the spokes or something). A common uniform would be the black trenchcoat, leather chaps custom-made by some chaps-making specialist, worn over button-fly Levis, and no shirt, or a fringed leather vest made by the chaps dude. Boots too obviously (again custom made). I actually still like that look, but it takes a certain physique and bearing to carry it off.
thehilarion,
Heh! Very cool! Thanks for the reply. I never expect one from any comment section…unless it’s a Troll fishing for verbal dueling.
Sadly, I don’t have hardly any pictures from back in those “daze”. I don’t know if I could have successfully operated a camera considering the haze I was in for….geez….7 years or so.
I still like throwing on some “blacks” and going out for a casual frosty beverage, but not to the ridiculous extent we used to abuse ourselves. My carcass does not deal well with hangovers anymore. It’s still amusing to see people’s reaction when somebody my age strolls in to a hipster or suit’s bar. I refrain from the obligatory black eyeliner. Now it just looks goofy on guys.
Have a great weekend and Best Regards,
-Chuckula
Bwa ha ha ha!
Chukula – hot! got any pics? kidding;) Actually not really…
I was a goth in the 80′s…
if you like this blog, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!
I feel your pain on the trench coat. I had a very cool one I often wore in the 80′s (yes…I was a freakin’ goth), but now when I wear one, I feel like I’m being looked at like a crazed gunman. I look as “normal” as a tattooed, bald headed, pierced, 44 year old can look….wearing combat boots and sunglasses….and genuinely labor-stressed work clothes…(dammit)
Congratulations?
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