#116 Black Music that Black People Don’t Listen to Anymore
November 18, 2008 by clander
All music genres go through a very similar life cycle: birth, growth, mainstream acceptance, decline, and finally obscurity. With black music, however, the final stage is never reached because white people are work tirelessly to keep it alive. Apparently, once a music has lost its relevance with its intended audience, it becomes MORE relevant to white people.
Historically speaking, the music that white people have kept on life support for the longest period of time is Jazz. Thanks largely to public radio, bookstores, and coffee shops, Jazz has carved out a niche in white culture that is not yet ready to be replaced by Indie Rock. But the biggest role that Jazz plays in white culture is in the white fantasy of leisure. All white people believe that they prefer listening to jazz over watching television. This is not true.
Every few a months, a white person will put on some Jazz and pour themselves a glass of wine or scotch and tell themselves how nice it is. Then they will get bored and watch television or write emails to other white people about how nice it was to listen to Jazz at home. “Last night, I poured myself a glass of Shiraz and put Charlie Parker on the Bose. It was so relaxing, I wish I had a fireplace.” Listing this activity as one of your favorites is a sure fire way to make progress towards a romantic relationship with a white person.
Along with Jazz, white people have also taken quite a shine to The Blues, an art form that captured the pain of the black experience in America. Then, in the 1960s, a bunch of British bands started to play their own version of the music and white people have been loving it ever since. It makes sense considering that the British were the ones who created The Blues in the 17th Century.
Today, white people keep The Blues going strong by taking vacations to Memphis, forming awkward bands, making documentaries, and organizing folk festivals. Blue and Jazz music appeal mostly to older white people and select few young ones who probably wear fedoras. But that doesn’t mean that young white people aren’t working hard to preserve music that has lost relevance. No, there are literally thousands of white people who are giving their all to keep old school Hip Hop alive.
Even as you read this, white people are telling other white people about the golden age of Hip Hop that they experienced in a suburban high school or through a viewing of The Wackness.
If you are good at concealing laughter and contempt, you should ask a white person about “Real Hip Hop.” They will quickly tell you about how they don’t listen to “Commercial Hip Hop” (aka music that black people actually enjoy), and that they much prefer “Classic Hip Hop.”
“I don’t listen to that commercial stuff. I’m more into the Real Hip Hop, you know? KRS One, Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, De La Soul, Wu Tang, you know, The Old School.”
Calling this style of music ‘old school’ is considered an especially apt name since the majority of people who listen to it did so while attending old schools such as Dartmouth, Bard, and Williams College.
What it all comes down to is that white people are convinced that if they were alive when this music was relevant that they would have been into it. They would have been Alan Lomax or Rick Rubin. Now the best they can hope for is to impress an older black person with their knowledge.
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You know I learned about Wu Tang, NWA, and all those “old school” rap groups from black people. It’s a white person assumption to think Black people actually enjoy the rap on the radio. After all, how could 15% of the population get rap onto the top 40 stations? It would take a majority, meaning that whites mostly start that stuff.
Of course it’s certainly true that whites perceive old school rap as better than new rap. This is probably because we want to be a part of black culture but feel music isn’t allowed to be about “Bitches and drugs.” Even though that old stuff usually is too, the language is old and we can’t tell.
Also another thing on life support by whites is high school Jazz Bands, considering that they’re usually the ones who can afford the instruments and lessons needed to make it into the more prestigious ones.
Ok, I did check out the http://www.jusjivin.com and that guy is crazy
Once again I find my self laughing at the stereotype that is the white urban hipster. I am white, 41, hetero, Canadian, unmarried, without children, and although many of the entries on this blog are generalizations of ‘white culture’ written in a satirical way, so many of them are dead on accurate. This happens to be one of those entries. I like camping, Bob, Mad Men, and awareness, I also very much like old school Hip Hop too, however, what every reader must remember, and this is very important people, this is SATIRE! Biting, AND accurate, but satire nonetheless. This blog was created by a white urban Canadian male, so please, dispense with the so called ‘racist author’ comments, they just don’t fit. Satire is not meant to be taken seriously. Methinks Stephen Leacock would very much approve (JFGI).
okay, i’ll dispense with the racist accusations. wanna get married? have no baggage right? hey wait a minute, what white man has no baggage?
Well, even I am finding stuff to like about the “Old School,” even just got my mind around some Geto Boys. But you missed all the British collectors who now seek out “Northern Soul,” a genre that didn’t have that name when the records were actually being made.
Im white, Canadian, and I love Northern Soul. I like trip hop too, which is less old school than KRS, but way more Bristol than Manchester. I left Manchester a few years ago for ATL and now I even like music that black people listen too. PS white people should love Knaan.
But you wouldn’t get away with a Blog called “Stuff Black People Like”. I could write one, and it wouldn’t be very complimentary. But as humour, this is fine.
I think you would get away with it. Some would give out about it, but you’d get away with it.
As for this blog, it’s more than fine, and not just for laughs either. It’s perfect. I only started reading it yesterday, and it very accurately describes nearly every white 20-something American I ever met, plus a lot of wannabe-Americans in my own country.
this blog is all about race…it’s about what “white” people like…it’s comedic…go check out this dude, he is funny as hell and he’s a black guy… http://www.justjiving.com
this blog is all about race…it’s about what “white” people like…it’s comedic…go check out this dude, he is funny as hell and he’s a black guy…http://www.justjiving.com
I dont know what im supose to like or not like as a white person,but il try.1 celtic music ,pink floid, music that has the power to move me,to get into my soul.even classical music ,once you under stand what the sound convey, in the sense of the ideas,freedom of the person, as aposed to the state, race, group, freedom of the natual world, as aposed to man made,1812 overture the power of the state, an folly of the state, race,group mind,Handles,them to god,THE SHEAR POWER AND COMPLEX OF CREATION,AND THE CREATOR?
THE WHOLE PROBLEM WITH THIS BLOB IS THAT IT DOSNT REALLY DEAL WITH ,THE TRUE NATURE OF MAN,
IN SUMMING UP IT IS TO SMALL A VEIW?
and the ability to use commas
Lol!…. wow… why is it that when talking about race folks generally think “black” and “white” that like saying everyone else done matter, or just being to lazy to include them… But yeah this site very much just restates the stuff i think/talk about every day with my white, black, latin(o/a), and asian friends…. i really don’t think this is “racist per say, maybe just the simple mind of the little simple bigot that’s in all of us… i honestly think I’ve become accustomed to it… I wonder who else out there feels the same way? hrm……
DUde, your comment is pretty derivative. You are reading a blog called ‘Stuff White people like’. This is all about colour.
thanks for pointing out the obvious
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