#116 Black Music that Black People Don’t Listen to Anymore
November 18, 2008 by clander
All music genres go through a very similar life cycle: birth, growth, mainstream acceptance, decline, and finally obscurity. With black music, however, the final stage is never reached because white people are work tirelessly to keep it alive. Apparently, once a music has lost its relevance with its intended audience, it becomes MORE relevant to white people.
Historically speaking, the music that white people have kept on life support for the longest period of time is Jazz. Thanks largely to public radio, bookstores, and coffee shops, Jazz has carved out a niche in white culture that is not yet ready to be replaced by Indie Rock. But the biggest role that Jazz plays in white culture is in the white fantasy of leisure. All white people believe that they prefer listening to jazz over watching television. This is not true.
Every few a months, a white person will put on some Jazz and pour themselves a glass of wine or scotch and tell themselves how nice it is. Then they will get bored and watch television or write emails to other white people about how nice it was to listen to Jazz at home. “Last night, I poured myself a glass of Shiraz and put Charlie Parker on the Bose. It was so relaxing, I wish I had a fireplace.” Listing this activity as one of your favorites is a sure fire way to make progress towards a romantic relationship with a white person.
Along with Jazz, white people have also taken quite a shine to The Blues, an art form that captured the pain of the black experience in America. Then, in the 1960s, a bunch of British bands started to play their own version of the music and white people have been loving it ever since. It makes sense considering that the British were the ones who created The Blues in the 17th Century.
Today, white people keep The Blues going strong by taking vacations to Memphis, forming awkward bands, making documentaries, and organizing folk festivals. Blue and Jazz music appeal mostly to older white people and select few young ones who probably wear fedoras. But that doesn’t mean that young white people aren’t working hard to preserve music that has lost relevance. No, there are literally thousands of white people who are giving their all to keep old school Hip Hop alive.
Even as you read this, white people are telling other white people about the golden age of Hip Hop that they experienced in a suburban high school or through a viewing of The Wackness.
If you are good at concealing laughter and contempt, you should ask a white person about “Real Hip Hop.” They will quickly tell you about how they don’t listen to “Commercial Hip Hop” (aka music that black people actually enjoy), and that they much prefer “Classic Hip Hop.”
“I don’t listen to that commercial stuff. I’m more into the Real Hip Hop, you know? KRS One, Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, De La Soul, Wu Tang, you know, The Old School.”
Calling this style of music ‘old school’ is considered an especially apt name since the majority of people who listen to it did so while attending old schools such as Dartmouth, Bard, and Williams College.
What it all comes down to is that white people are convinced that if they were alive when this music was relevant that they would have been into it. They would have been Alan Lomax or Rick Rubin. Now the best they can hope for is to impress an older black person with their knowledge.
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“It makes sense considering that the British were the ones who created The Blues in the 17th Century.”
HAHA! So true. Love the tongue-in-cheek.
LOL! Yep, so true. From Clapton & co. in the 60′s, through backpackers, to the “neo-soul” singers like Joss Stone. I’m firmly convinced that blacks must be disgusted w/us, especially when we start to lift/incorporate their music, and so must come up w/ a new genre. I got heavily into soul & deep funk about 10 yrs back (way before you fuckers!..ha..ha.. Oops! That’s me pointing out my musical “eclectisim”) & thought it was the greatest stuff on earth. My mom said “why are you listening to that ‘garboon’ music. That must have been the bad white word for black funk back in her day…dunno. I said “hey it’s good music.” She said she thought it was stupid BACK THEN. It was more popular for whites to be into hard rock, or granola & berkenstocks Mellow-gold at the time. That means that my kids will probably be listening to Seal or Boys II men, (and forming hybrid bands influenced by them) when they grow up. LOL! Actually BIIM were the shit (most white ppl-including me-liked them when i was younger. R & B nowadays is just recycled shit..no new concepts. As far as rap goes..I’d say there’s an equal number of blacks & whites (especially if you’re over the age of 28) who DESPISE the pop-crap.
im black and I’ll be the first to say commercialized hip-hop sucks, if any thing its the other way around…on the bloomington IU campus anyway
I am a 24-year-old WHITE male (I make Toby Keith look like Malcom X). I have played and studied jazz from a young age, and I do not own a television. Yes, I listen to jazz, blues, classic r&b, motown, as well as newer hip-hop, all the commercial stuff, etc. I also enjoy rock, folk, classical…you name it. How can this be explained?
could it be that….you’re a 24 year-old WHITE male?
DUH.
This would seem to directly contradict the point of this blog.
What’s your name little girl, what’s your name?
Alex???!!
That TOTALLY went over your head…SNAP!!
(…And I’m a 55yo white male)
and I’m a 24yo white guy, so what’s your point?…*CLICK!!*
Michael D, you are the darkest bump on your moms fat butt and it is time you apologize to all the fine people on this site. We endured your stupidity for far too long and now it’s time to PAY WHAT YOU OWE! (where have i heard that before?)
You stole my name and said stupid things, attempting to smear my already humble name. You posted the lamest comments known to mankind and hijacked entire sites for your own stupid amusment. Well judgement day is here, I see your sorry but decided to run like the wuss that you are, but not before you pay what you owe. I still have my name BEEEEOTCH, what about you? YOu can dish it but you can’t take it. You want US to leave you alone dummy, APOLOGIZE. Apologize for being a moron, for being a blogging terrorist who writes boring post, for calling me UH HUH and other folks on this site. If your dumb butt can’t figure out that their was more than one person sticking foot up you ass, then your a moron. It’s a shame that the best post ever posted with YOUR name were writen by other people. So apologize and all will right with the world again. We found you once, we will do it again.
“and you will know my name as the LORD, when I lay my vengence upon thee”
Sweet dreams sweetheart
You completely forgot about funk. Stevie Wonder is one of my absolute favorites, i’m white. Not to mention Wild Cherry. But also, i play bass (well) i can’t stand most “white people music.” I’ve got groove and i’m white. I think white people are stereotyped just as much as black people are. Not all black people like rap. Not all white people like nickel back. I hate them with a passion. they suck ass. Give me stevie all day
Check out funny stuff at http://www.makefunofmyfriends.com
hey guys question.
what exactly does the term ‘white people’ entail?
Is it mainly americans living in america? or are there other countries as well?
You should not have started all that racial shit Mikey. It seems that you thought you can bully with your stereotypes, but it backfired on ya!
What’s the difference between you talking about african americans like you do and I’m talking about you with a disability?
Same bigoted shit, different groups.
Stop your bullshit and I’ll stop mine.
I luv dick
Sing it together with us people!! (to the music of ‘ebony and ivory’ by M. Jackson and P. McCartney)
Chunky Redd
and Micheal D.
Live together
in perfect harmony
Michael D. get boned
every hour you see…
la la la la lala la dah dah dah dah…
chunky, we have so much in common! Let me be your white bread and you can stick your man meat in my buns anytime….
yoink
yoink
yoink
yoink
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why i’m skrewd up is cuz my dad rapes me… Blak pwr.
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why i’m skrewd up is cuz my dad rapes me… Whte pwr
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why i’m skrewd up is cuz my dad rapes me…
Blak pwr
i is be a bich yo yo dawggs
i is be a bich yo yo dawggs to dawggs….l luvs dose great danes with big dongs…yo boyz…
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