#123 Mad Men
March 11, 2009 by clander
Television is one of the keys to a white person’s heart. A proper reference to Arrested Development or the lending of a Wire Season on DVD are considered two of the easiest and most cost effective ways of getting a white person to like you. But with both of those shows off the air, their utility is being quickly depleted. Thankfully, there is Mad Men.
Mad Men is a TV show on cable with low ratings, multiple awards, critical praise, and full seasons available on DVD. It’s no surprise white people love it. And while you could apply the previously mentioned techniques to gain white friendship, Mad Men has an entirely new world of possibilities.
The show is set in 1960 and features meticulous art direction that strives to make the show as historically accurate as possible. This veracity makes the show especially vulnerable to one of white people’s favorite activities on earth: finding mistakes. And as is always the case with white people, the harder someone strives for accuracy, the happier a white person is to prove them wrong.
“Oh yeah, it’s a great show don’t get me wrong. But you think at least one person would have know than those IBM Selectric type writers didn’t come out until 1961. I mean, it’s so obvious.”
But it is not recommended that you start searching for mistakes on the show. Doing so would require a massive amount of time spent on the internet. Also, if you point out errors that other white people missed they might be intimidated by you.
Instead, the best way to use Mad Men is to suggest or host a themed party.
When you say the words “we should have a Mad Men party,” white people will immediately latch onto the idea and begin planning. By the end of the day, they will have picked proper attire and emailed you a drink and hors d’oeuvre menu. In the days and weeks leading up to the party white people will be thinking of clever ways to make it more authentic.
Remember parties are fun, historically accurate themed parties are legendary.
During the actual event you should constantly mention how much people used to smoke and drink back then. A few white people will lament the days when they could smoke anywhere, then another white person will say something about cancer and it will get awkward. At this point you should try to steer the conversation back to cocktails and how good everyone looks.
The party should essentially run itself, however, you can severely curtail the amount of fun by saying: “I’m glad this isn’t really 1960 or else I’d be serving all of you.”
White people often find truth to be very depressing at theme parties.
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“But you think at least one person would have know than those IBM Selectric type..”But you’d think someone would proofread this otherwise excellent site!
go check this guy out http://www.jusjivin.com
No.
WASPS are boring. Besides they self-implode when enough of them start overpopulating the environment. They eat too much beef and die of heart attacks.
Important to keep this from happening is to add an ounce or two of the black gene pool for something to improve their innate intuition on and a small dose of latino instincts to keep them passionate and healthy about life in general.
But if you want to improve the white race and make them really interesting, give them all annato coloring tans. Then they won’t need to do anything unusual to be ultra cool. They won’t even need tattoos. They will be perfect.
Actually to tell you the truth, I don’t even believe this junk. I believe white people are the best people in the world. I learned everything I know from them, and live in the world they reconstructed from the burnt ashes of my foremothers. I am relearning my history and sadly enough learning that it is plain bullshit to be anything else but Heinz 57 American.
aww you should do The Office. thats like a classic now for this liberal yuppie generation.
White people like Mad Men because it’s about the only show where a totally WASP establishment overtly and without shame yields it’s power in a manner currently acceptable only for black males in TV, advertising, and movies. Also, people know in their hearts and by almost any statistical measure that the US was a better place to live for all races back then.
disagree. racism was at its peak back then and sucked to be any other color but translucent white. post Civil Rights Act improved this national situation and pushed society in a progressive forward direction….something to celebrate.
woo hoo. good times? progressive forward direction? That’s a bunch of crap. There are a lot of us that don’t believe obamao is the messiah.
hahahaha. so true. I freaking love this show!
Want to decorate your dining room table ‘Mad Men’ style? Check out Newsday’s latest article:
http://www.newsday.com/lifestyle/home-and-garden/1960s-mad-men-style-so-dated-it-s-daring-1.1569259
Until I read this blog I was under the impression that us white people had the market cornered on narrow minded racist like Limbaugh, Hannity and Beck. You have proved my wrong.
Thanks!
That’s because you’re dumb. Oh, and by the way, this site is for laughs.
You know this is written by a white person, right?
People can be racist toward their own race, you know.
This blog is one of my fav’s – please; don’t stop.
In predominantly white-affluent-office parties, you can’t have a sense of humor unless it’s like “Friends”, “Fraser” and “Will & Grace”, in which the punch lines don’t seem to be really funny. The sophisicated find humor involving sex, politics, religion, class disparity, death or injury, personal tragedy, family conflict and nationality/ethnic group to be tasteless or in bad taste. But to think about it, “Mad men” tackles on sensitive issues and controversial subjects about sexism (i.e. discrimination, harrassment of employees and domestic violence) and racism (i.e. the false sense of superiority, privilege and stereotypes) head on.
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