#124 Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
April 13, 2009 by clander
Often it can be easier to find common ground with a white person by talking to them about something you both hate. Discussing things you both like might lead to an argument over who likes it more or who liked it first. Clearly, the safest route is mutual hatred. When choosing to talk about something that white people hate, it’s best to choose something that will allow white people to make clever comments or at the very least feel better about themselves. Currently, the easiest way to do that is to ask a white person for their thoughts on people who wear Ed Hardy.
Ed Hardy is a clothing company that makes a wide range of expensive t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans. These clothes are notable for their use of elements from classic tattoo design such as skulls, hearts, and dragons. On the surface, the use of the words “classic” “tattoo” and “t-shirt” would seem like a logical fit for white people, but it is not. White people hate these clothes unilaterally and it is advised that you merely accept that at face value. If you were to ask a white person to explain why a regular size dragon logo is ok but one that goes around the neck is not, you would be trapped in a long and fruitless conversation.
To put this in proper perspective, Ed Hardy is so hated by white people that it cannot be worn ironically. This is no small feat. As it stands, the only other entries in this category are Nazi Uniforms, Ku Klux Klan Robes, and self-tanner.
Since you cannot in good conscience have an Ed Hardy themed party, the best way to make use of this white hatred is to give your stories a little more appeal to white people.
For example, if you take the reasonable but not compelling story: “I got cut off in traffic this morning and when I honked the guy gave me the finger,” and replace it with: “I got cut off in traffic this morning by this guy in an Ed Hardy shirt. I honked and then he gave me the finger!” The story will become sixty percent more interesting to white people because it allows them to make a witty response like: “I guess that douche bag had to get to a UFC party or a nightclub event he was promoting.”
Follow this up with a laugh, a high five, and a compliment about the acceptable shirt the white person is wearing and you will find yourself with a new friend.
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ok….I’m not white and I 1,000,000% agree with this post.
When I see anything Ed Hardy, I think about axe body spray (worn as cologne) and really bad techno/pop versions of Justin Timberlake, Rihanna and Kanye West songs.
Ed Hardy wearers please, please, please stop it. You look like a walking vomitarium.
Don’t even get me started on those freakin Ugg boots. Yuuuuuuuck.
vomitarium…that’s good!
vomitorium, ahem.
Now I know why I hate this stuff – I’m white! Well, 80% white, according to your quiz … won’t my black parents be proud? (Rhetorical question, but the answer would be “no.”)
When I was doing research for my own tattoo, I could appreciate Don Ed Hardy for his work and his distinctive style. But now that it’s plastered all over, it’s less than interesting.
Most Ed Hardy is worn by white trash doing their best not to look like white trash.
i doubt white trash could wear ed hardy you obviously dont know nothing about ed hardy because it is expensive so doubt that one
if it’s so expensive then why do they sell it at sam’s club?
White people also like shopping at Sam’s Club. Something about giant tubs of pretzel rods and fifty tubes of toothpaste really sets them off.
also white trash has little to do with money and more to do with class level
That is impossible because Ed Hardy is way too expensive for white trash…STUPID!
Why do people think Ed Hardy is expensive? A $70 hat and an $80 t-shirt is NOT expensive.
The fact that people think they look like they have “money” when they wear this stuff is almost comical. Try showing up to the Concours in Monterey or to the Casino in Monte Carlo wearing this and see what how wealthy they think you are.
Pathetic.
Oh, I say! What are you bringing to Pebble Beach this year? The Alfa 8C 2900B? Perhaps the Voisin? 80 bucks for a t-shirt is more than expensive-it’s brain-dead. You obviously don’t have any hobbies to spend money on since you’re so into primping your pussy-ass.
An $80 t-shirt is inexpensive? I hate Ed Hardy, but I’d say listening to Quintessentially let us all know that he can more than afford to splurge on $70 hats and $80 t-shirts and $500,000 black jack tables in Monte Carlo is the equivalent of someone wearing a shirt to demonstrate their wealth. Sorry, James Bond, next time I’m on a double secret mission in Monte Carlo I’ll be sure to wear my gold encrusted, diamond studded tuxedo.
“Pathetic”
The white trash steal the clothes. That’s what gives them their “street cred.”
Same shit with the chavs in England–their big thing were Burberry caps. Of course these slime couldn’t afford them, so if you wore one you were a bad ass shoplifting chav.
Burberry got so fed up with being associated with chavs they quit making the hats.
Yes! That is exactly it. The Burberry thing is so bad in England. It is funny being in America where Burberry relatively is still considered a high-end brand but back in Leeds it is just associated with council queens and chavs.
I’ve never heard the term “Chav” before. Is it like the British version of “White Trash”?
They’re the British version of wiggers. The current Wikipedia image of a Chav is hilarious.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav
No one said anything about finances.
Correct. Extra-white sneakers with Tommy or K-Swiss printed on the side is also a sure sign that the person is a piece of garbage.
As we recently learned here …
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2009/02/10/121-funny-or-ironic-tattoos/
… the worst kind of tattoo is one that lots of people have. So it’s not surprising at all that wearing t-shirts based on tattoos that lots of people have is even worse.
It’s hardly a mystery.
Ironically these kids also are almost always slightly overweight, little pot belly, and wearing skinny jeans that make them look like stuffed sausages… idiots.
But the question is… am I white because I hate ed hardy? Or do I hate ed hardy because I’m white?
I thought I was alone in my intense hatred of Ed Hardy. But I am white!
White people like to think that they are alone in their stances.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Hahaha F*** Ed Hardy!
Yuck, Ed Hardy. It tries to be so vintage, but it results in an epic fail.
He makes a very good point. Though Ed Hardy is popular in the “tool” category at most Universities or the wannabee tools.
We may be white, but we do usually dislike certain things for a reason.
ha ha ha ha.
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