#124 Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
April 13, 2009 by clander
Often it can be easier to find common ground with a white person by talking to them about something you both hate. Discussing things you both like might lead to an argument over who likes it more or who liked it first. Clearly, the safest route is mutual hatred. When choosing to talk about something that white people hate, it’s best to choose something that will allow white people to make clever comments or at the very least feel better about themselves. Currently, the easiest way to do that is to ask a white person for their thoughts on people who wear Ed Hardy.
Ed Hardy is a clothing company that makes a wide range of expensive t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans. These clothes are notable for their use of elements from classic tattoo design such as skulls, hearts, and dragons. On the surface, the use of the words “classic” “tattoo” and “t-shirt” would seem like a logical fit for white people, but it is not. White people hate these clothes unilaterally and it is advised that you merely accept that at face value. If you were to ask a white person to explain why a regular size dragon logo is ok but one that goes around the neck is not, you would be trapped in a long and fruitless conversation.
To put this in proper perspective, Ed Hardy is so hated by white people that it cannot be worn ironically. This is no small feat. As it stands, the only other entries in this category are Nazi Uniforms, Ku Klux Klan Robes, and self-tanner.
Since you cannot in good conscience have an Ed Hardy themed party, the best way to make use of this white hatred is to give your stories a little more appeal to white people.
For example, if you take the reasonable but not compelling story: “I got cut off in traffic this morning and when I honked the guy gave me the finger,” and replace it with: “I got cut off in traffic this morning by this guy in an Ed Hardy shirt. I honked and then he gave me the finger!” The story will become sixty percent more interesting to white people because it allows them to make a witty response like: “I guess that douche bag had to get to a UFC party or a nightclub event he was promoting.”
Follow this up with a laugh, a high five, and a compliment about the acceptable shirt the white person is wearing and you will find yourself with a new friend.
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OMG! I LUV ED HARDY….OK I MUST ADMIT IM BLACK BUT I SEE MORE WHITE GUYS IN ED HARDY SHIRTS (A SIZE 2 SMALL) THAN ANY ONE. Y MUST DIS B A CLOHING LINE THAT WHITES HATE? BUT I CANT KNOCK IT CUZ ALOT OF BLACK PEOPLE HATE AMBERCROBIE & FITCH,AMERICAN EAGLE, AND THE GAP. IM NOT AGANIST WHITES N I HOPE I HAVENT OFFEND ANY ONE…SO PLEASE DNT VERBALLY ATTACK ME AFTER THIS COMMENT….B) NOT THAT I GIVE A DAMN BUT ED HARDY ROCKS!!!!!(ROCK&ROLL SIGN) N EVERY WHITE BOY THAT WEAR IT ROCKS N HAS GREAT TASTE EVEN IF IT IS A SIZE 2 SMALL!!
Ed Hardy and Affliction. Every time I go to a bar in downtown Houston, I see the same looking frosted tip, spikey hair, spray on tan, shaved armed douchebag with one of these shirts. My brother bought me one for Christmas and I can’t even bring myself to wear it, even just to mow the lawn.
I would like to start a charity that will gladly help provide free vasectomies and tubal ligations for wearers of Ed Hardy. And yes, I am white.
this is so true, Ed hardy is like buying a big truck when your 5 feet tall. come on we all know what you’re doing
LOL. my favorite comment so far!
oh man… I didn’t realise how white I was until I read this. I may as well bite the bullet and start watching ‘Mad Men’!!
Whats funny is all I see are White people wearing these shirts, Hell the creator is white and so are half his spokesman… I can’t stand it myself But it is kinda a white guy thing
This is perfect. I cannot stand Ed Hardy and will admit to being “one of those people” in this entry. I admit it. I am a white person.
I disagree…..I think white people LOVE Ed Hardy stuff. Especially those who don’t know who he is. It is just one more symbol, and subliminal expression of wealth and superiority. White folks will buy’m up like nothing, wear’m like nothin’…Causing young black folk to buy’m, steal’m, or whatever once again just to show white people they “can” too. That they are just as “good”.
Put ED up there with Designer clothing, Expensive video games, Ipods, Iphones..and all the other expensive “Stuff White People Like”.
i HATE Ed hardy it’s so overrated people just like it because it’s expensive and it’s a designer name brand there clothes aren’t even that cute.. but whatever.. i’ll never buy anything Ed hardy cause everyone wheres it!! it’s dumb!!! sorry if you like it.. but i just don’t…
I actually went to the Ed Hardy website after reading this and while I can do without any shirts, there’s one extremely pretty pink handbag I want now. Curse you for doing this to me! I can’t afford it.
!!!!!!!!*U BEN BIT BY DA HARDY BUG*!!!!!!!
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