#124 Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
April 13, 2009 by clander
Often it can be easier to find common ground with a white person by talking to them about something you both hate. Discussing things you both like might lead to an argument over who likes it more or who liked it first. Clearly, the safest route is mutual hatred. When choosing to talk about something that white people hate, it’s best to choose something that will allow white people to make clever comments or at the very least feel better about themselves. Currently, the easiest way to do that is to ask a white person for their thoughts on people who wear Ed Hardy.
Ed Hardy is a clothing company that makes a wide range of expensive t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans. These clothes are notable for their use of elements from classic tattoo design such as skulls, hearts, and dragons. On the surface, the use of the words “classic” “tattoo” and “t-shirt” would seem like a logical fit for white people, but it is not. White people hate these clothes unilaterally and it is advised that you merely accept that at face value. If you were to ask a white person to explain why a regular size dragon logo is ok but one that goes around the neck is not, you would be trapped in a long and fruitless conversation.
To put this in proper perspective, Ed Hardy is so hated by white people that it cannot be worn ironically. This is no small feat. As it stands, the only other entries in this category are Nazi Uniforms, Ku Klux Klan Robes, and self-tanner.
Since you cannot in good conscience have an Ed Hardy themed party, the best way to make use of this white hatred is to give your stories a little more appeal to white people.
For example, if you take the reasonable but not compelling story: “I got cut off in traffic this morning and when I honked the guy gave me the finger,” and replace it with: “I got cut off in traffic this morning by this guy in an Ed Hardy shirt. I honked and then he gave me the finger!” The story will become sixty percent more interesting to white people because it allows them to make a witty response like: “I guess that douche bag had to get to a UFC party or a nightclub event he was promoting.”
Follow this up with a laugh, a high five, and a compliment about the acceptable shirt the white person is wearing and you will find yourself with a new friend.
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hahaha wow. this is so awesomely true.
ugh, ed hardy.
=[
Your SWPL list should also include Joel McHale, and/or things Joel McHale says.
I peed in a horse once
Did you do it before or after he fucked you in the ass darksock?
yucka yucka yucka
@ Darksock -> let me guess, in the horse’s butt?
I have an Ed Hardy shirt that was gifted to me, and now I’m all the much happier to wear it! I really just like the tiger. I don’t keep up with trends, I wear whatever I please, no particular “style,” and most of my clothes cost less than $10.
And, if it really matters, I’m “white.” My real purpose for this comment is to express disgust (not hate) toward that “haters” Facebook site. This list that you’ve come up with is of course, not entirely accurate, like any stereotypes, but good humor.
It’s hard to believe that people really “hate” a clothing line and folks who wear a piece of clothing so strongly. Shameful, really. Get a life!
Would you wear a t-shirt that had a picture of a tampon on it, if it was a gift from a friend? Would you be that much happier to wear it? What if it only cost $10? Would you buy it? Just because people don’t wear t-shirts with tampons on it don’t let them cramp your style. Don’t walk the line with the others, “think for yourself!”
You surely didnt intend to use the words ‘tampon’ and ‘cramp’ in the same sentence but i laughed at the possibly unintentional pun anyway.
Good point Corinna. People who wear Ed Hardy are basically walking around with a tampon on their faces.
well, really and truly, most white people (at least the ones worth having a conversation with) are going to evaluate you on more than just your choice of clothing. As long as you don’t fit the Ed Hardy douche-bag dude-bro stereotype, most people aren’t going to care what shirt your decided to throw on that morning. Although, I would personally would never be caught dead in one, I not one to judge.
oh my dear its just good fun.
ed hardy was originally made for gay men…..hence the rhinestones etc.
oh no! I’m white and I have a pair of Ed Hardy sneakers and I love them. How do I redeem myself in the eyes of my people? Do I say I am being ironic? Or does the fact that I bought them in he States but am wearing them in England (where I don’t think we can buy them) make them cool?
Me too!
you do an incredibly well job at writing directly and concise. A lot of what you bring up is hard to swallow or talk about, but is laughably true. comedy brings out the best ideas. I just wanted to say something to the person writing these blog entries. why I decided to write on the Ed Hardy one isn’t significant, just random.
an incredibly well job?
hey bitch fuck you, ed hardy smells like shit and if you disagre i will kill your cat
Hey Guys,
If you hate Ed Hardy as much as we do, join our facebook and spread the hate !!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=79814467541&ref=ts
We have over 700 members, and growing rapidly !!
Hey I didn’t like Ed Hardy before but when I smelled that scent on my b/f it was amazing I love it now!!!
Ohhhhh no. I’m assuming you’re either in middle school, realllly gay, or not white.
…and you used more than one exclamation point in a row. There should be a section about people like you on this site.
facepalm ok?
yeah? alright then
*facepalm*
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