#126 Vespa Scooters
June 2, 2009 by clander
Within white culture, your choice of transportation method says a lot about you. For example a Prius says you care about the Earth, a bicycle shows you REALLY care about the earth, and a bus shows that you are probably not white. But these three options are not the only viable ways for a white person to get around, they have literally dozens of choices including Volvos, old Mercedes that run on vegetable oil, Subaru Outbacks, and Vespa Scooters.
As it stands, every single white person on earth either owns, has owned, or is dreaming about owning a Vespa Scooter. And why not? They are Italian, feature vintage design, low emissions, make the rider look more sophisticated, and they carry a little bit of risk. In fact, were it to have a liberal arts degree and a steady income, a Vespa scooter would possesses every important quality that a white person looks for in a spouse.
In addition to these superficial qualities, there are some very practical benefits to white people. Namely, scooters are perfect for gentrifying neighborhoods which are often short on parking and heavy on people who are impressed by Vespas.
If you are in search of a fun game, a white person who has recently purchased a Vespa can be a source of tremendous entertainment. Step One, get them talking about their Vespa (easy). Step Two, start asking them why they didn’t save money by getting a Honda or Suzuki that gets the same mileage. Step Three, see how many of the following justifications a white person will use during the ensuing rant: environment, parking, urban lifestyles, union labor, writers, fuel efficiency, Roman Holiday, study abroad, and being into Vespas before other people.
Finally, the Vespa has produced one of the great paradoxes in white culture. Vintage Vespas are infinitely cooler than newer ones, but the vintage models produce more pollution than most automobiles. If you know a white person going through this dilemma, just say something like “the amount of energy and carbon used to produce a new scooter will probably cancel out the emissions from your vintage one.”
Problem solved forever.
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stupidpeoplelikethis.blogspot.com
who are you calling stupid?
I agree completely with this arguument
Though in my opinion vespa’s are targetted more toward the gay community. At least that’s how people identify us where I live in Australia.
Ive got a little collection going I have 3 vespa’s, and my house boy (thats what I call him, he’s actualy my bro/boyfriend haha) has one and a half (his lime green one isnt working at the moment). We buy old V’s and do them up and sell them to our friends. We dont make them more pwerful or anything like those vespa molesters you see in the US, we just give them paint jobs and make them cute-a-licious hahahaha
Love my vespa – ttfn
kisses
Mike
Get on with it. This website wouldn’t have jumped the shark if you updated it more than once a month.
Thank you for that helpful review. Do you know what “jump the shark” means?
Do you know what riding a vespa means?
all these articles forget about the rednecks
oh p-lease
i love vespa
Yay presse!!!!!!
Vespas are liked by gay/metro American whites, and ladies.
Most white men would want a real motorcycle, or a convertible… or, frankly, rather walk than be seen on one of those things.
I take it your not gay then?
I think somebody could try expanding their horizons a bit
Speak for yourself, dip.
Or get more middle-class Americans to ride bikes to work if they are fortunate to have a damn paid job! Meanwhile, the Chinese and Indians are in a buying spree for automobiles. How does “white people” feel about black people, Latinos & ruby-throated (the other whites) value their 1970′s low-rider cars and 1990 pick-up trucks with broken tail lights? +
I dont feel too bad about it.
Why do you?
Even better: an electric scooter to show you really care about the environment
since most electricity in north america is from burning coal, electric vehicles are NOT good for the environment because coal is dirtier than petro
Actually, regardless of how the electricity is generated, electric vehicles are always more efficient than gas burning ones.
The electric motors are far more efficient, plus they don’t use energy when idling.
I’m not an environmentalist and I’ve got an electric scooter. They’re fun to ride and they don’t break down. It’s the kind of thing where you need to already have a girlfriend before you buy one though, because otherwise you’re gonna die alone haha
Vespas are so gay. I think pretty much anyone riding on a scooter should be run over by a car or truck.
homophobe
Homophobe implies fear (i.e. you fear queers). What is it called if you just don’t like them?
Whatever that is, it would be a more applicable term for most of us!
The term is Rednekkk and it applies to few of you.
never saw an oriental on a vespa, just some WASPs, or Euro trash with hemits riding around LALA land sipping their 4 dollar coffee drinks from Charbucks.
Try going to Vietnam or India.
In fact, I’d bet a million dollars that far more non-whites in the world population own Vespas (or other scooters) than whites. The Honda Cub is the #1 selling vehicle of any kind, of all time, worldwide. And you don’t see many of those in the US.
Lindsay – It doesnt take a genius to work out that…….. your wrong
No it doesn’t take a genius, it takes a person that hasn’t been too far out of the US. I got back from a month long Vietnam vacation some weeks ago, and for every car everywhere we went, we saw about 6-10 Vespas and maybe 50-75 other various scooters.
Yeah right, whatever you say…….
50-75 other scooter varieties?? A little exharggeration there perhaps
Wow nice job generalising pal
Next thing your going to tell me is that straight people arent allowed to ride vespas too
Sheeesh
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