This is a scientific approach to highlight and explain stuff white people like. They are pretty predictable.
If you would like to have the author of Stuff White People Like Christian Lander speak at your school or event please contact:
Keppler Speakers
Media:
The Onion interview by David Wolinsky
Author Christian Lander, Authors@Google
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“this seems like a guide on how to help the immigrant to succeed in the world.”
sara on February 4, 2008 at 4:29
I will let you know how this works out for me.
Thanks
Great site gentlemen.
lena and vanessa, I think they are talking about white people that are socially and economically important, so yes you guys are correct
this seems like a guide on how to help the immigrant to succeed in the world.
white people also enjoy being critical, but not necessarily in a constructive way.
p.s. i’m half chinese.
I am 100% in agreement with Vanessa.
There are not really 49 things here. Organic food, vegetarianism, and Whole Foods are essentially the same entry, broken up and spread out- “filler”as I believe it’s known. Poor writing, that.
Also, I thought for years that I was white, but now I’m going to have to figure some stuff out, because I only like 5 things on this list.
Someone must of infiltrated your family tree.
Hey, Thurston Howell the Third,
I must correct your grammar. You have used the commonly misunderstood vernacular “must of” when in fact I believe you meant to use the term “must have” or perhaps the contraction “must’ve.” Sorry, I couldn’t resist that one.
I bet you secretly like more than 5 of the things on the list you just don’t want to seem that white because, I bet you*, you are most certainly grade A whitey material.
*We white folks like to bet people
Leta,
Whole Foods sells meat (i.e., not mutually inclusive of grass eaters). Organic food can be warm-blooded.
What have you done, of note, creatively in the last several decades to back your unrefined criticisms?
Just interested.
P.S.
Great blog! As a white person with a white wife, i identify with nearly all 47 items. I would certainly add spending time on a farm, lake swimming in New England/Upstate New York.
Too much
DP
This site is closer to “Stuff Yuppies Like”.
Unfortunately, you are just under privileged.
I agree.
Another thing white people (mainly yuppies) like: self-loathing.
Or, stuff second generation of baby boomers/hippies upper middle classers like. Which, well, I guess I am one of.
Good thing I grew up in redneck Maine and like to beat my dog and drink Bud, because that makes me really everything it means to be white.
Hysterical. How about decluttering, closet organizers and feng shui? NPR? CBC? Tanning beds? Organic food? Botox? Summer camp? Private schools? Horseback riding?
So many inexplicable obsessions. So little time.
Ps John Stewart is hot.
White people have an inordinate fondness for Fescue. They despise crabgrass.
Golf of course, counts twice.
and Anderson Cooper…
who else is gonna like tanning beds? black people?
Ha! That was brilliant! I’ve never known any black person to use a tanning bed (and I never have either, but that’s b/c I am part hispanic/Choctaw…and I can prove it).
Yes, whites do like geneaology…go to Utah.
Now I feel white.
This is the best blog I have read for a while!
are you trying to say Mormons are white?
“Yes, whites do like geneaology…go to Utah. ”
We got some multi colored Mormons in NY….
Or are you saying that genealogical
obsessiveness is a predominately white
mental illness?
and The Sopranos..surely
How about soy milk (with or without coffee)? Definitely reading this site a bit at a time, I can only laugh so hard for so long! My only comment is that most of the white people posting on this site seem to be comfortable laughing at this stuff…I can’t help but wonder what sort of horrible politically incorrect ruckus a site called stuffblackpeoplelike would cause. Or maybe not?
Well there is a site called Stuff Educated Black People Like and it’s damn accurate too. http://www.stuffebplike.com/
But I don’t think many white people will get it unless they have EBR friends ( I have several). If anything, my white-washed sister and I seem to have more in common with white people which is kinda embarrassing. In fact, my sister just started doing that scarf thing but she’s a damn hipster and can’t help it
That link didn’t work. Is the site down now? It’s been over a year since this post but I’m definitely interested in seeing the site.
soy milk make my throat close up. Does that make me white? Being allergic to something that no one is allergic to. Maybe I’m just really sickly, I do visit the hospital a lot. Also my name is spelled wierdly it’s pronounced Adam, but spelled Adom. Maybe cuz I’m gay
On the topic of adding new things… I think we need a shout out to monograms. This is especially true of the upper crust white people group. It can go on golf bags, polo shirts, even underwear. White people just can’t get enough of putting their name on everything.
So true. Love a monogram!
HA!..soy milk in coffee my brother does that kind of sh*t. I prefer half&half myself.
your blog is funny. my wife wants to suggest another white person favorite: ethnic jewelry. keep up the good work, we’ll be reading it often.
I second ethnic jewelry. This should also be expanded to cover ethnic/tribal tattoos.
Love the blog
Genius. In fact, I think this falls under a larger umbrella in which whites who are not Hispanic, Arab, or Persian feel the need/desire to establish that they do harbor a cultural identity nonetheless.
I chalk it up to a general sense of disenfranchisement among whites – that to be white is to be painfully normal, without cultural heritage (particularly in America), to lack a sense of brother/sisterhood with other white people, and a general fear that any attempt to establish such a kinship with other whites would come off as white supremacy and racism.
This brings up another thing white people like: genealogy tests – often necessary in order to prove that you’re “not just white” but rather something interesting, like Portuguese.
Freak! We like it ‘cuz it’s PERTY!
So, according to you:
White = of no culture, not interesting, painfully normal,etc.
Nice.
Portuguese is good, but still relatively common. If you’re gonna go European, you have to be a little bit more obscure – for example:
“My grandmother came from the Isle of Skye, but my grandfather’s family is originally from Alsace-Lorraine. It explains my affinity for both Talisker single-malt scotch and various cheeses.”
That way, you’re not just white, you’re transparent.
Oh, and disenfranchisement, while not only strikingly accurate, is a total white people word. I love it.
is it me or do white people LOVE outdoor music festivals like bonnaroo, austin city limits festival, and bumbershoot.
Of course white people love outdoor music festivals! Where else do we get to wear our outdoor gear, listen to our favorite obscure bands, and be outside all day?
Who doesn’t like an outdoor music festival?
Don’t get all like defensive. All my white friends talk about are outdoor music festivities. And plus I would like to attend one some day.
#96 Sweet Baby Jesus
I think he’s talking about the lady in the picture
You’re a c*nt and your blogs sucks.
ed. note – I had to add a * to this comment to keep it clean.
or an Americ*nt?
Hi. Love your blog. Have you considered writing about how white people love going to camps or retreats? Growing up in an all white neighborhood (yes I grew up being one of two brownies in my entire class), I remember it was all about going to girl scout camp,band camp, field hockey camp or volleyball camp. The best part of going to camp though was when some of the extra-cirricular activities involved learning African dances or other types of exotic hip rotations. Have you ever seen white people dance tribal? Priceless.
Greetings from Brussels – Have a good one.
Terri
wow, it’s a joke.
I’m white, and I find the site hilarious. It doesn’t all have to be true, but it is pretty funny.
To Wicks, who made such a great first comment at top of the page…..LOL
You must be white since one of the things on the list is “to get offended” hahahaha
Obviously which you must be to write such a immature thing. Someone needs attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speculating about another person’s race based on his/her response to something and then ending your post with a long string of exclamation points doesn’t leave you much room to call people immature.
A cogent argument, Wicks, and eloquently stated.
thanks wicks! i was temporarily confused as to why you would call this brilliant satirical writer a “cant”.
seriously? this is the funniest blog i’ve ever seen! Couldn’t stop laughing.
I bet that’s an angry white person that lets out its anger within virtual territory- let them come down to bed stuy and talk shit, but, oh wait, i forgot, they can’t cause they’re white!! hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where’s the love?
i just found this blog and you are now bookmarked. what is life if you cant laugh at yourself. you make me proud to be white!
mhaha.
a whitebread austrian thanks for the blog – jössas, geil!
fucking stupid blog
That’s an oxymoron.
you must not be white
an *
Please pee on yourself. Please.
I am white and I think this website is hilarious and very true. People should be able to have a sense of humor about this stuff.
Hi,
I was wondering if by white people you meant yuppies and/or hipsters alone. See, my friend seems to think that this site is only about yuppies. Clearly it states it is about white people, not necessarily yuppies. While I do agree that a lot of these are about yuppies, I don’t think that it’s a site dedicated to stuff yuppies like. Please answer my question. Thanks.
I wonder if only white people archaically cling to the question mark to help indicate which of their wonderings are in fact questions needing response.
Welcome, electric and Friend. You have reached the White vs Yuppie-Hipster dichotomy at the ninth level of eternal wisdom. First must answer this, little grasshoppers. If white people shake they ass when the music start, do they know what it’s like to be black?
David Duke is proud of everyone on this blog!! We need to celebrate chaining black people, killing off the indians and all other forms of genocide that makes this country great!!! Kudos for this blog!
You hadn’t killed enough of us white boy. I’m 1/4 American Indian and my French father had relatives fought Nazis in WWII. You believe having white skin makes you better than everyone else? Uh huh…how much money you got? +
I’m white , and this site is so totally awesome . Keep up the good work man.
i hate to come across as an ‘educated white person’, but i wanted to make a grammatical addendum that also serves as another white people like.
white people love grammar, even in the absence of following grammatical rules. white people will kill to be the guy/girl who’s in the room when someone asks, “is it it’s or its?” and actually answer correctly first (or perhaps not correctly, but still first, then say “oh yeah, that’s what i meant” if corrected – it only matters who’s first)
anyways, you can’t say “your blogs sucks” – whenever an adjective modifies a noun that is plural, the adjective must be singular, and vice versa – as an example:
“your blog sucks” – singular noun, adjective w/ “s”
“your blogs suck” – plural noun, adjective w/o “s”
this is the rule always, and it is a GREAT party-conversation for the following reasons:
1) nobody realizes its true until it’s spelled out for them, and the best party-stories are matters-of-fact that cause brief-but-non-threatening moments of realization that for white people inspire euphoria greater than anything you can imagine
2) everyone will give at least 3 examples for everyone to be like “holy fuck, that’s totally true” and “oh yeah, that works also,” thus getting everyone involved in a non-threatening and open way
3) the whole convo will last no more than 4 minutes, the maximum attention span of a party-story, no matter how interesting
4) it’s almost as good as speaking a foreign language in terms of likelihood-to-get-a-white-guy-laid, as women will settle for the grammatically-skilled if the white guy who speaks a foreign language at the party is already spoken for. if a woman cannot raise her future children in a multi-lingual environment, she will at least settle for a grammatically-correct environment
There is no such word as “anyways”.
No offense buddy, but writing a long response about grammer is pretty “white,” or whatever you totally racist people say
For decades, a burning question of mine (well beyond St. Paul’s “Why don’t the damn Ephesians ever write back?”) is: Why do the British say, for instance, “BritRail suck…” when Americans say “Amtrak sucks…”? Maybe an assumption that BritRail is a collective of individuals, whereas Amtrak is a corporate person? Am I deluded? My sanity rests upon an accurate answer to this question. TIA.
Quick question.
Why do Canadians and English say “He’s in hospital.” instead of “He is in the hospital”? Why do they never say in/at? It drives me crazy.
Thanks.
Perhaps you are hearing impaired. That’s all I can say miss.
I’m Canadian and I’ve never heard anyone say, “He’s in hospital”…EVER. Perhaps you are mistaking rednecks and yokels for a representative sample of the population. More research needed on your part.
Being an Englishman living in Canada it never ceases to amaze me how Canadians have a thing for euphmisms, I think that’s spelled right, such as a real problem for saying I want to go to the toilet, rather they need a washroom, they ask if they can get something to a clerk at a store, as oppose to can you get me
For decades, a burning question of mine has been why do Americans say, for instance, “Radiohead sucks”, when British people say “Radiohead suck”? To me the American usage sounds awkward and wrong, akin to saying “They sucks”.
Similarly, Americans might say, “Radiohead is a band. They are from England”. It’s consistent to use the third person singular “is” for the first sentence and switch to the third person plural “they are” for the second.
I first puzzled over this when I saw a badge that stated “Blondie is a band”, during the 1970s, so this question has indeed burned for decades.
Regardless of the explanation I will undoubtedly feel smug and superior, which is one of the great things about being white.
To answer your question quite simply, it is because American English does not look at it as third person plural. it is a collective now therefore it acts as 3rd person singular. For example, the team is winning. Not the team are winning despite the fact that the team IS made up of more than one person. Thus, Radiohead ROCKS and Radiohead is a band. The consistency is there.
i rock we rock
you rock you all rock
(s)he ROCKS they rock
I agree with Bob. I have actually taken my study abroad to the extreme and stayed in the uk after graduation and have noticed the is/are difference in speech. I feel incredibly superior when speaking this way in the US, especially when talking about Rugby and underground music.
Most English people don’t really use the verb ‘to suck’ in a pejorative context, unless they’re especially Americanised. But if we did say “BritRail suck” we would be incorrect, because BritRail (despite being made up of several people) is a singular noun. Are you sure you’re not just extrapolating this from a small pool of British/English people you happen to know?
Also, I have no idea what ‘BritRail’ is, but that’s probably just my ignorance.
Totally true, another good one that most people won’t know, and some will openly deny until corrected, is that the word “both” is not limited to describing two nouns for example, both walter, jerry, and larry went to the movies works. Also, white people love to be able to use the terms clause and preposition
I think you’re mistaken about “both”. I’ve never, ever heard a credible sentence in which you could put more than two things under “both”, otherwise you would use “all [number]“. Perhaps you were thinking of how you can set off multiple denied possibilities with “neither”, which, while also rare, is tolerable: “Neither Walter, Jerry, nor Larry went to the movies”. Similarly, you can’t have anything “between” more than two things; it has to be “among” them.
I refuse to believe that this is true.
How can you care so much about grammar yet not bother to use correct punctuation?
How can you care so much about grammar and not bother to use appropriate punctuation?
Is the grammatical error (incorrect usage of “its”) in your post intended to be ironic?
That’s embarrassing; “suck” is a verb.
I suck; you suck; he/she/it sucks; we suck; you (all) suck; they suck.
Note the he/she/it. English verbal person/number marking is impoverished, but not non-existent.
There isn’t number agreement on the adjective, by the way, or else we would have “your reds blogs” vs. “your red blogs” or “your blogs are reds” vs. “your blogs are red”.
(White people love over-education, right?)
SUCK…like many words, can be a verb or adverb or adjective (or even gerund) depending on how it is used in the sentence. You all have valid points, but are looking at the word and failing to look at how the word is used in the sentence to come up with what part of speech it is.
Someone needs to break the sentence down in order to get the answer, the definitive answer.
However, it won’t be me. I am too busy putting on my New Balance shoes.
I don’t see how “suck” in that form can be an adjective or an adverb.
“Suck” can be a noun, if it is used to denote an act of sucking. This usage is relatively uncommon.
He took a long suck from the bottle.
In the sentence in question, it is most definitely a verb. “Your blogs [suck]“, indicates what the blogs do. An adjective would give a characteristic of them, which is not indicated. For the word to function as an adjective, there would need to be some kind of copula, as in, “Your blogs are suck”, or the adjective would come before the noun, as in the fragment, “Your suck blogs”, either of which would make it obvious that “suck” doesn’t work as an adjective because both phrases are gibberish. Similarly, it wouldn’t be an adverb because that defines the properties of an adjective, verb, or other adverb, and since “blogs” is a noun, you can’t apply an adverb to it.
Glad to be of service.
Ding ding ding! Finally someone who’s not ignorant. Thank you Lord! (and I’m not referring to God but you, Lord Dan)
This is the most exhilarating conversation I’ve been a part of in ages. To have finally found a home, a community, a milieu (white folks love that word).
Just thought I would point out:
It’s just “anyway”, not “anyways”
Pointing out irony and grammar via my macbook while listening to Pedro The Lion.. this blog is spot on.
oh my god, i have spell checker on my macbook too!
Yr not getting laid; “suck” is a verb.
I suck
You suck
He/she/it sucks
We suck
They suck
Yep – definitely a verb
Actually, “suck/sucks” is mostly used as an adjective these days. If what one means is “That’s awful,” then one will usually say “That sucks.” In that instance, “suck/sucks” is being used as an adjective.
Therefore, Will is right in saying that one cannot say “your blogs sucks.” It is simple 9th grade grammar that one would have assumed everyone should know by now.
I am an English Education Major and a writer. I most definitely know what I am talking about when it comes to grammar. Let’s see if I can diagram this out for everyone a bit:
“Your” — a pronoun showing possession of the noun
“blogs” — the noun being possessed by the pronoun; because the noun is in the plural form, it implies that the person “Your” is referring to has multiple blogs. This is not the case — there is only one blog, with multiple posts — and is therefore the grammatical mistake.
“sucks” — would normally be used as a verb. However, due to the modern connotation associated with the word, in this sentence “sucks” is being used as an adjective, meaning “awful” or “bad.”
Hope that this has cleared a few things up, or possibly told you that you need to re-learn your grammar.
FYI the use of “suck” or “sucks” is describing what this blog might or might not do and as any good whitey knows a word that describes something can be called an adjective. Perhaps in this case it’s an adverb but more importantly who TF cares? I will most likely be getting laid!! Ooooh…FACE!!
Adverbs describe verbs, like “quickly” in “quickly ran.” The problem was that the “blogs sucks” uses a singular form when it should be the plural form. Idunno why Will had such a long explanation though. I think trying to make it look complicated boosts his ego? I imagine it was just a typo.
No it cannot.
Nice call, jackass.
Regardless of your sexual prowess, you don’t have a clue about grammar. A verb is not an adjective.
And, apparently, “troll” is both verb and noun, as demonstrated above.
thanks for doing an incredible job making me feel like a horrible cliche…
i’d ace a “white person quiz” if you made one, which you should…
minus the infatuation with gay people and minorities and organic food… i’m pretty insanely white, apparently…
Offended, eh? That’s #101.
I am a soccer mom who wears New Balance and I ride my mountain bike on the trails when my kids are at soccer practice. I drive an SUV and regularly take Starbucks to soccer games to “get me through”.
100% agree. I know realize what a stereotype I am. Well on the upshot, at least I’m a self-aware stereotype!
Me too. Except for the “having gay friends” one, considering that that I am bisexual…or does that make me even more white? I think that “pointing out grammatical errors” should definAtely be added to the list…
i second this motion
well I wanted to comment to say that blogging rachel ray/dunkin donuts is a MUST.
but wicks here is just too cute: “f**k you c*nt, rot in h*ll”
label to the stereotype: keeping things clean on a christian internet.
there is no such thing as God since it is just something that people rely on to give themselves false security. also the christian internet would suck since it wouldn’t have porn which is 99% of the internet.
Ok Mr. Lennon, whatever you say. One huge item overlooked about what (I can’t believe this) “white” people like… why not what “people like? Asians don’t like Dogs? Blacks don’t like yoga? Mexicans don’t like People who wear EH clothes? What are you 9 yrs old? First of all Ed Hardy and his stuff suck! Trite, over-situated the market with the same thing, had a celeb friend or two wear his crap to kick start it and now his own buddies don’t like Ed. Ed is an asshole. I quit even considering buying his stuff when I saw a bottle of hand soap for sale in a discount. The guy sold out quicker than U2.
Camping? Anyone who is an idiot likes camping no matter what color their skin is. Maybe in the UK it’s different. Camping. Yea, maybe if there are 20 rock bands playing all weekend and the booze is endless and the drugs don’t run out of gas.
Where the wild things are – Yea, strip joints. Who doesn’t?
Bob Marley – I’ll give you that one.
Moleskin notebooks – Wow, I’m getting one when the stores open this morning. I didn’t know we liked them. Thanks for the tip.
The one, the most important and truest to a fault – What people love to talk about themselves, they have a need to always be right, they will argue until they wear the other down and the person just says fukc it, you’re right, white people tend to be an expert on… everything! White people will judge you when they can’t get up from the gutter, white people have more double standards than anyone I know, white people will be your friend AS long as there is something in it for them, white people will steal shite from you, tell you it was stolen then help you look for it. White people are the only people I know who have a strong sense of entitlement no matter what. White people are always the victim, white people will justify anything and the most annoying is white people will not shut the fukc up.. Oh yea, don’t get me going on ho tightly wrapped white people are. Perhaps this will be the title of you next whatever it is you have coming out.
There is no such thing as Bo since that’s too ridiculous a name. A Christian internet would suck though since lolcats are satanic and would be banned.
Ha. I hear Mr. T somewhere saying “I pity this fool.”
hail satan
Thanks for the ed. note. I thought you couldn’t spell cunt.
one of the most brilliant things i have ever encountered.
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