This is a scientific approach to highlight and explain stuff white people like. They are pretty predictable.
If you would like to have the author of Stuff White People Like Christian Lander speak at your school or event please contact:
Keppler Speakers
Media:
The Onion interview by David Wolinsky
Author Christian Lander, Authors@Google
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Oh, and you forgot…Guitar Hero.
LOL!
Oh, and you forgot about “LOL!”
“You’re a c*nt and your blogs suck”
Aw, come on Wicks, if you can’t laugh at yourself then you are doomed. This stuff IS kind of yuppie. This is a great insight into how consumerism, political correctness and too much trendiness creates laughable behavior. Wake up fellow white people. You’ve only yourselves to blame.
Every race has what I call “those of us who are an embarassment to our kind.” You cold even break it down into decades because what white people liked in the 90′s was different than the 80′s or 70′s etc.
This is the kind of stuff that Frank Zappa used to sing and write about. “Disco Boy” anyone? This kind of self-scrutiny is desperately lacking these days.
Bravo!
Ha yes, or “Valley Girl” anyone?
- binge drinking
- shooting classmates
- traveling abroad
Have you been following me? I mean, you’ve described me (and everyone in my trendy startup coworking loft) pretty much exactly. I mean I’m not vegan, but I eat vegan food.
Scary. You know white people all too well. As a citizen of Boston, I say you know us well!
Also, in a reciprocal bout of intersite promotion, Catsandbeer.com intends to review for accuracy your first 100 White People stuffs once you reach the century mark
We listen
I liked it better when the flickr stream was just titled “Jess’s Photos” without explanation. I also like to believe that Jess is not someone you know, just someone whose photostream perhaps came up on the first page of google results for a search like ‘white people photos’ or maybe even ‘white person lifestyle photos’
sorry we don’t see race, we are all children of the earth
What, you got a gerbil in your pocket? Who is this “we” you speak of?
Snort. ROFL.
Something else white people love: claiming to be “colourblind”.
Hint: doesn’t make you seem less racist. Makes you seem unobservant.
OMG. This is f*ckin awesome. I am the son of a Japanese-Amerikan father and Scottish/German/Native-Amerikan mother and this sh*t is right on the money. Absolutely Bananas. I am curious to know what the ethnicity of the person/s doing this blog are? It seems they are either a person of color who knows white -amerikan culture very well, a mulitracial person like myself, or a very attentive, extremely analytical white amerikan.
LOL @ Sarah Silverman btw.
PEACE
Senbei
Hmm… I think most white people are equally multiracial… Let’s analyze this…
(Japanese+American=Half Japanese)
+
(Scottish+German+Native American=Red Neck)
=
You are really just 1/4 Japanese, which makes you basically a typical American (white person). White people try to pretend they are in the know because their great great grandfather came from Germany.
“Claiming to be multiracial when both of your parents were born in the US” could be yet another article.
(Cherokee+other American Indian+3/4 white=minority)
(French+Scottish+German+English=white person)
What’s wrong with this picture? Are white people this obsessed with ones’ racial pedigree? I don’t know what gives to be more white or more non-white than thou, but how about the leader of our country is, as follows…
(Kenyan Muslim father+Irish American mother=Barack Obama)
But to a racially charged hell-bent internet troll, they may well go off on the (black man+white woman=interracial) or worst (illegal alien+terrorist with Arab name=9/11 flashback).
Steve, racial identity has doesn’t have to do with where you were born. It’s how you self-identify among broad ethnic groups. I think you mean “claiming to be multicultural/ when both of your parents were born in the US.”
You could be identify as black or Asian(ethnic asian) and have both parents born in the country.
I would also say that anybody that is 3/4 white and 1/4 something else generally are accepted as, and are identified as white.
I agree that if both of your parents are of Euro or Native American descent you are white.
Why are you saying Native American = White?
‘Cause most rednecks are part injun. Until the 70′s they hid it — then it became cool and they all found that their great-great grandmother was Cherokee (’cause Cherokee is cool, unlike Massapequod, and there was a cool song in the 70′s about Cherokee).
Now, in ten years, they’ll also find out that great-great grandma was “passing” and they’ll start to claim that they’re black also. But they won’t say black but make up Ibo or some other african tribal link. Family albums from the 1890′s always seem to have missing members.
They did a PBS show tracing the ancestry of black celebrities. The host, a professor of African-American studies who was dashiki wearing, well it turned out that he was mostly of French descent, while the “white” biologist who did the DNA was 20% African. Whiteness is in the clothes.
sod, my seed is pure (from the book “Keys of Tulsa”). They hid the American Indian legacy from the WASPs, but found a way to claim an older ancestral presence in the 1980s from the likes of Cher. Btw, most white Californians could start claiming to be Armenian, the “Semitic” people from the Caucasus mountains in an exotic place known as the Asian continent. +
Sorry, can’t let this one go. Unless this is a really bad attempt at humor, you obviously don’t know what a redneck is. Like any good white person, you should do your research. Watch the History Channel. Google “redneck.” White people like Googling, so show us your stuff.
“I would also say that anybody that is 3/4 white and 1/4 something else generally are accepted as, and are identified as white.”
Unless the 1/4 is black, in which case you and your descendants will always be black until you’re light enough to pass for white.
You’re an idiot. Japanese-American means his father is of Japanese descent, but grew up in America. Assuming equality among the posted nationalities, which is genetically impossible without extreme intermarrying, the poster would be 1/2 Japanese and 1/3 white (1/2 Japanese, 1/6 Scottish, 1/6 German, and 1/6 Native American).
And when did American become synonymous with white?
I am confused. In every white math class that I have been to, as well as the white coffee shops that I often frequent, in Middle Eastern countries, I know that 1/2 + 1/3 does not equal a whole.
(I actually just had a conversation about how it is almost impossible to be 1/3 anything, in a coffee shop in the Middle East…)
Especially as you assumed that Japanese-American refers to the offspring of two Japanese parents who grew up in America.
Therefore, why is 1/2 Japanese brought into the equation (of 1/3 white)? (In any event, *he* would only be 1/4 Japanese if his father would be the offspring of a mixture between a White and an individual of Japanese descent).
Using “The Man’s” logic, the poster should actually be 1/2 Japanese, 1/3 White (Scottish and German), and 1/6 Native American (which is definitely not White, as the “White Man” came and gave them smallpox, raped their women, and stole their land).
“I am confused. In every white math class that I have been to, as well as the white coffee shops that I often frequent, in Middle Eastern countries, I know that 1/2 + 1/3 does not equal a whole.”
I am confused. What do white coffee shops and the Middle East have to do with your not understanding that the 1/6 Native American was implied (to me, at least). I will admit that starting a post with “You’re an idiot” seems to be a recipe for contentious replies.
The Man (as ridiculous as that name is) included the idea that being 1/3 or 1/6 of any nationality “is genetically impossible without extreme intermarrying.” That being said, I would not assume that anyone is 1/6 anything just because s/he includes it in her/his makeup, since the person probably isn’t including all the nationalities involved. Maybe the poster will explain what exact percentage of each nationality he is so we can really figure this fucking thing out, including whether or not Japanese-American means a person of Japanese descent raised in America, or maybe we can move on.
Regarding the importance of perfection and one-upmanship here displayed, I have a question and apologize since this should be in another chain: why don’t more people use possessives before gerunds?
It was an attempt at humor. (Whites love coffee shops and talking about their travels.)
Rumors allege that Wallymart will soon offer DNA tests, although
a mole in the software developer leaked that they’ve been asked to program that all results are to show “majority white.” (snark)
1/2 japanese, and most likely 1/4 european and 1/4 native american. assuming, of course, that the mother’s parents consisted of a full blooded native american and a super white person.
ultimately, it’s impossible to figure out for sure.
Very common to hear about intermarriage between Blacks and Native Americans, then came the Portugese Hawaiians, Punjabis from India with Mexicans in California, and even Japanese-Cherokee marriages in the L.A. metro area when the two groups lived aside in the early 20th century.
Now the white people once boosted to have money, stock market bonds, ivy league degrees and professional careers all because of pure white ancestry…is envious in wanting to be part-something (not limited to Cherokees), they will be “1/5 Cuban” or related to a Zulu princess tomorrow. +
I just found your website and look forward to review its accuracy and providing peer review. I am heartened that others are adopting a scientific approach to the study of White People. I employed such an approach in my seminal article on the topic The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love.
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