In life, there are certain milestones of physical activity that can define you. A sub 5 second 40 yard dash, a 40 inch vertical leap and so forth. To a white person, the absolute pinnacle of fitness is to run a marathon. Not to win, just to run.
White people will train for months, telling everyone who will listen about how they get up early in the morning, they run when it rains, how it makes them feels so great and gives them energy.
When they finish the marathon, they will generally take a photo of themselves in a pair of New Balance sneakers, running shorts, and their marathon number with both hands over their head in triumph (seriously, look it up, this is universal).
They will then set goals like running in the Boston Marathon or the New York Marathon.
If you find yourself in a situation where a white person is talking about a marathon, you must be impressed or you will lose favor with them immediately. Running for a certain length of time on a specific day is a very important thing to a white person and should not be demeaned.
Also worth nothing, more competitive white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford $10,000 specialty bicycles. If the subject ever comes up, just say that triathletes are in better shape than football and basketball players. It’s not true, but it will make the conversation a lot more genial.
Stuff White People Like 
http://www.latimes.com/la-he-triathlon4feb04,1,4112468.story?ctrack=1&cset=true
called it
oh man, I got nailed. I am white. How white? I married a Mexican.
LOL @ “Also worth nothing, more competitive white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford $10,000 specialty bicycles.”
LOL! A white friend signed me up with her for a triathlon in San Francisco. As soon as I found out we’d have to swim in the actual bay, I dropped out and signed up for a walkathon. 🙂 She immediately lost respect for me (and our friendship went bye-bye), but being able to sleep in on Saturday mornings helped me cope.
“Also worth nothing”
Don’t you mean “Also worth NOTING” rather than “nothing”??
Funny post nonetheless. Marathon running is actually bad for you, but don’t tell these people that.
I am white, I take offense…
I say anyone who trains for an athletic event deserves some respect, be it white 4+hour Marathoners or 350lbs Football players…
Mind you, the people most serious about Marathons are usually from Africa and not quite so white.
The main reason you don’t see a lot of black people in Triathlons is that, while they exceed at running, aren’t built for either swimming or cycling…
stuffblackpeoplelike – eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike – keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
White people, don’t take offense…just laugh, it’s OK…
This is a good post because marathon running can easily spill over to the other posts, like a person running a marathon will drive in their Prius (while listening to NPR) to some nearby lake or outdoor scenic area, will listen to his/her ipod while running, and this whole endeavor will cost a lot of money because they need the proper all-weather running gear (not unlike $$ spent on snowboarding crap) and cliff bars, protein shakes, Gu, etc. And, as mentioned in previous comment, it’s not actually good for you but people are driven to do it anyway. Never knew why until reading this.
yeah, this site is for laughs and having fun!
[…] for this week is This Blog if you are in need of a good laugh check it out. Plus they toatally NAILED me, I am so white, but I am ok with […]
I’m white and I’m entirely indifferent to marathons. Let’s get together sometimes and be cool and make fun of white people.
Umm, nailed it! After doing my first two marathons, I started doing triathlons, and you’re right, I’m a lot more competitive at the former, probably because white people also love to swim. Living by the water in Santa Monica helped with having access to a place where I could swim whenever I wanted, usually in the mornings. Nothing I liked better than going for a swim, then going to my favorite breakfast place for an hour.
So basically you are saying you do not want to hear about my experience of running four 3 hours and 55 minutes straight??? No wonder all my black friends dont want me to call them early on Saturday mornings.
i love it.
nothing more dignified than running your brains out and showing your pasty-white skin off. yum. that is, of course, unless you swim and bike too. they’re kind of sports for people who aren’t athletic but have lots of free time to train.
funny.
and very earnest.
For the record, I was running marathons before it was popular for white people to run marathons. Damn, I’m cool. (said/written with that overbite thing)
Did commenter #6 just say black people weren’t built for swimming or riding bikes? that is the most retarded thing i have ever heard…never really saw the bodily resemblance between mike spitz and lance armstrong but hey who am i to point out the obvious…
the obvious….how about that his name is mark spitz. And how about that this blog is all in good fun. dont take yourselves so seriously! haha
great stuff. i’ve been running competitively all my life and am actually pretty good… sub 2:30 marathon, but you’ve certainly nailed it. and if people can’t find the stuff they get sucked into funny, then they have no sense of humor and a pretty pathetic life. laugh at yourselves, people… go obama!!!
You’re way ahead of me. You DID include marathons!
I AM TERRIBLY OFFENDED!!!!!!! Not by the satire and parody; that’s OK. Triathletes are SO much more fit than basketball and football players.
Do you know JC?
Couldn’t finish it, huh? Must be because you aren’t white.
I love this blog! I’m Mexican, but I’ve been around white people so much that I love to do the things they do too! First of all – comment #6 “while they exceed at running, aren’t built for either swimming or cycling” – hahahah, give me a break! Give a Kenyan $10,000 and they’re likely to use that money to feed there family for 5 years. Put them in a triathlon and I bet they will destroy you. They have so many slow-twitch muscle fibers they would hardly get phased. Anyway, although I do love marathons, because i am Mexican there are a few twists to marathon running:
1) Carbo loading = extra tortillas for your taco
2) Recovery protein = eggs w/chorizo
3) Gu Packs = Gu Packs (no substitutes!)
4) Machismo = I run marathons because half-marathons are for women and children
I gotta be runnin fro the 5-0 somtimes,
I’m white I think this is all too funny, I’m not offended as I feel everyone has a right to their own opinion so here’s mine….
I must point out…..it seems as though there’s a little bitterness in the “money” issue…could that be because typically “white” people make more money and are able to do the above things mentioned? I mean…it’s not exactly cheap to enter a marathon and then fly to the location, stay in a hotel and eat out. Are you to say that if minorities where making more money they would not involve themselves in expensive mindless activities? I don’t think so….we are all human and we all like to have fun and impress others in our own ways. And whats more expensive a few pairs of running shoes and some gel? Or smoking crack on a bed side? Who’s right who’s wrong? We all engage ourselves in what makes us happy…so why not let be what it is….who cares what others are doing…focus on yourselves. Obviously some of you have nothing better going on in your lives but to sit around and bitch about skinny white people while your own ass grows big because you lack motivation. Frankly… I stumbled across this thread through a marathon blog on Runners World. I say….GET OVER IT!
i’m white and i dont like marathons at all, im unfit and to be honest i don’t care, also dont say the website is what white people like, it is only a sector of society which likes all this stuff! why do you care what white people like so much, stop trying to be funny and witty by taking the piss out of white people, it’s not on, everyones different and the whole white community isnt full of pretentious snobbery! get your facts right before you start mouthing off!
This is spot-on!
I live in New York (seven years and counting…almost an “official” NY-er) and have several friends who run marathons/triathlons. They all looove to brag about how difficult and grueling their training regimen is and how much money they’re raising for charity.
At the post-marathon party, we toast them with our micro-brewed beer.
The funny thing, if you can call it funny, about blacks not being built for cycling is that the first American famous for cycling was black. He was probably even more dominant than Lance Armstrong. His name was Major Taylor.
Also worth nothing, research has shown that Runners are more educated than ther couch potato counterparts. That can partly explain why they can afford the pricey running gear and spend countless hours training to run a marathon.
The Boston marathon took place a block from where I lived for four years straight. A lot of people (white people) gather at various intervals along this path and…. wait around. They may even get the chance to… hand someone a tasty refreshment. I, as a white man, am hereby pleading to all other white people: enough is enough. This sort of activity shames us all.
HAHA…I am actually training for a marathon and found this blog hilarious. I question myself everytime I start running why the heck I torture myself so badly just to run with a crowd toward nothing in particular. If I wanted to make the training more interesting I could go to Harlem and wait for gun shots and then run in a crowd, I could go to Camden, NJ and wait for people to realize I am white then run from them and their cars, I could go to Pampolona, Spain and run from bulls, or I could go to Somalia smeared with peanut butter and run from hungry people. But I have bought into the white hype and put myself out there to be made fun of with the rest of whites…who need to learn to have a sense of humor it seems.
lighten up people- it’s a joke, a riff!! read it a laugh jeezus freaking christ- you are living up to the stereotype because you are all such tight a sses.
Busted! But I run halfs and don’t buy all the expensive bullshit, except for the shoes.
This is a funny frickin’ blog. Ya’ll need some “what rednecks love” type of entries, though, because all the attention is focused on rich white people.
I’d rather sit on my fat ass and read all of the posts by offended white people than run a marathon. P.S. I have about 10 emails in my inbox at this very moment from white people asking me to sponsor them for their upcoming marathons.
First the Club Charles 80s night bartender pic and now the Baltimore Marathon. There was even a reference to West Baltimore somewhere on this site. I’m beginning to see a pattern here.
You forgot to mention how every time a white person brings up that they run marathons, they must tell you how they did.
If they did great (2:10 – 2:50): You get a rundown of the exact time and splits. Or a generalization to make them sound impressive: “I did sub 2:30 at Chicago.”
If they did okay (2:50 – 3:50): They’ll tell you that they’ll either never do it again, or that they’re going to utilize (insert new training method here) to get faster.
If they did not so great (3:50 – 5+): It was either because it “was my first marathon!” or they walked it and they’re proud.
If they DNF’d (that’s Did Not Finish for you couch cushions): You’ll hear how it wasn’t their fault (too hot, race disorganized, not enough water stops, too many water stops, RD sucked) or the war story that led to their DNF.
I am white and I run everyday. I think this is funny.
I can dance too. This whiteboy tears up the dance floor
when JAY Z comes on in the club. All the black girls are like ‘damn … you fly” and I am like ‘Can I be your sexual white chocolate?’ and they say ‘hell to the yea’ and I say ‘Im about to put some cream in your coffee’ we laugh and then knock boots! : )
I’m offended NOT because of this post (I think it’s funny as hell) but because my dumbass friend sent it to me and in his mind, he thinks I talk about my running too much. If he ever got off his lazy ass and joined me, it’d be a different story. But regardless… Funny post.
[…] through and count the number of posts that prove how white I am and compare it to those that prove how white I am not. At […]
There’s also the “sign up for a triathlon because it will motivate my tubby white ass” thing.
Not so much.
“Also worth nothing, more competitive white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford $10,000 specialty bicycles. ”
except, of course, everyone knows that black people can’t swim.
Raise the prize money like they have in golf and you’ll see more non-whites take up the sport.
HI-larious. It took me six months to go from my first marathon to my first 1/2 Ironman Triathlon. Thanks for listening!
PS – my bike only cost $2,000
i’m white and i run marathons. running marathons isn’t necessarily bad for you. it certainly is bad for your body if you’re plodding along for 4-6hrs like so many “marathoners” (if they can really be called that) these days do. Seriously, people who run marathons in less than 3hrs are doing more good than bad for their bodies. If after the race you’re still walking around on your own two feet with no problem and are barely sore the next day then you probably didn’t do that much harm on race day.
when i ran boston after qualifying on my first one (yes i do fall into the white stereotype of bragging about my running) there was a black woman cheering around mile 18 “you’ve run through the winter/ you’ve run through the snow/ now you’re here in boston/ go, go, go”
I am asian. Also a marathon runner. We’re not all white. Nonetheless, tis true – most are. Except those guys that win.
I agree, thought it is mostly middle and upper class white people. My theory has always been that these are the nerds that couldn’t play sports in grade school and high school and now they are making up for it. But they are making up for it with a non-contact, non-competitive (they run just to finish) sport that really just highlights there “work ethic.” It is pathetic, and, as one poster noted, so unhealthy for you.
Hi all. This site is pretty funny. I’m a black female, was never athletic nor did I play any sports, then last year decided to run a marathon. I did, and it was great. And I got cheered by lots of white people. It made me feel good (not the running, the being cheered by white people part).
Is that why there are so many obese white Americans? Besides Kenyan’s rule marathons as you noted. This is also reserved to elitist upper class pretentious white americans, not white people.
Oh, please. Marathons are soooo in the past. It’s all tri, baby! and that for the past several years
–Whole Food & Farmer’s Market shopping, organic & free trade espresso drinking (made on my home espresso machine/ Rancilio Ms Silvia (beans ground on my Gaggia MDF)) (and sometimes I roast my own beans), NPR listening, home composting, native plant gardening, knitting tattooed professional.
did I miss anything?
great blog, LMAO as I read thru it!
we are in better shape.
http://www.sbrshop.com/store/product.php?pyid=sgt-0020
on par.
So is this site stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, or is it stuffwhitepeoplelikeunlesstheyreredneckswhichawholeheapingtonofwhitepeopleare-inwhichcasetheyhateit.com?
Please don’t forget the fact that, during training for said marathon, it is impressive to rack up a substantial number of “half-marathons,” and to refer to them casually, as though everyone should be running thirteen miles hopped up on carbs.
this is so awesome. i love marathons. i am white.
You forgot to mention the medals. That’s what motivates white people to finish a marathon more than anything else. The triumphant, arms-over-the-head pose for the cameras means nothing without the medal around the neck.
I must be the endurance sports world’s equivalent of a wigger because I usually lose my race medals or toss them into the back of a closet, and I don’t order photos, I steal them off the Web.
You are saluted today at Harlem 26.2
http://harlemrunner.blogspot.com/2008/03/breaking-news-stuff-white-people-like.html
{IMG}http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/10/09/wbMARATHON_wideweb__430x336.jpg{/IMG}
I’m black and I love marathons, too… but then again some people would say I’m pretty white.
Seriously though? It’s a lot of work, but the payoff is priceless. There’s nothing like the adrenaline rush of doing the actual race with all the other runners and spectator’s present. I’ve done a couple of races with friends of various ethnicities.
I love reading the responses. You can pick the white people out by how seriously they take the entry. The extra explanation is what really gets me . . .
I find great humor in some of these uptight responses. Sheesh – I think some of you whitey’s have outrun your sense of humor. It’s supposed to be funny people! You’re not supposed to justify YOUR reasons for running. No one cares! Go run to therapy now.
#28 White People Who Can’t Take A Joke About White People Liking Marathons
While I’ve loved pretty much everything else on this site, the way you disparage a marathon. If you think running 26 miles is so easy, go give it a shot.
*the way you disparage a marathon is a little ridiculous.
sorry for the screwup
[…] #27 Marathons – White people will train for months, telling everyone who will listen about how they get up early in the morning, they run when it rains, how it makes them feels so great and gives them energy. […]
#46: the sole reason I lift weights is so one day I might beat up people like you. I bet you think you have “leadership abilities” and “vision.”
Running Marathon distances can cause irrepairable dmage to your body. Why oh why would you want to torutre yourselves? Actually climbing mount everest would cause lesser damage to your body than running a marathon.
i love how the white comments just keep a rolling but the second a white man says something about another race its racist
Absolutely hilarious, just to set record straight though, snowboarder, ski patrol, triathlete, everything is either NorthFace, Cloudveil, Arctyrex, Patagonia, but I do get there in a 4×4 pickup truck listening to Rage Against the Machine… btw, I’m hawaiian… 😉
[…] Sedaris and Marathons: White People and White People | […]
WHOOPS! wrong kinda marathon…i thought this was going to be about sitcom/reality tv reruns…
LOL at all the uptight commenters. Being a white foreigner living and working in Santa Monica CA, I get a huge laugh from how precisely each one of your posts pinpoint the behaviors of my well-off, white American coworkers (and to an alarming degree of myself). Not to mention the former grad school buddies from my time at a highly ranked private American university; having reached the pinnacle of modern education they were so smugly sustainable and aware, the thought of it still makes me cringe. The funniest thing is most of them seem to appreciate this blog even more than me, being all aware of their shortcomings and that. #100 Stuff White People Like !!
I’m white, I’ve done a marathon and I think that this is very funny. Yes, it’s hard to do and people who have never done it don’t understand, but hey I smile in photos 😀
Excellent blog, Lighten up people.
That’s because your ancestors never picked cotton in fields for no money for 12+ hours in a day. You gotta do something hard and difficult – so some serve as the foundation of the American economy and some like to run for fun.
I’m not white, and I’ve run plenty of marathons . . . but I agree 100% with this one.
I’m white, and I run a lot (8 miles 3 times a week) but I always look at the people who run marathons like they’re crazy! That will totally mess you up (that’s why the first person who ran one, DIED!).
However, I do have a lot of respect for them because its something I will never do! The furthest I’ve ever run is 15 miles, and I couldn’t walk after that. I was waiting in line in a store, after I ran that, with 3 people ahead of me, and I couldn’t stand up long enough to check out, and I actually had to kneel down!
Besides, running is a drug because of the endorphines it releases. Its as valid as any other drug, only it has more positive side effects than negative. The day I run, I’m fine, but the next day, and the day after I start getting more and more anxious, and twitchy and less able to concentrate, so I can understand why people run marathons.
I still think this is hysterical because it is so true!
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/ci_8638161
It is about marathon running in Antarctica.
Stand up turn around a pick a bail of cotton.
I almost died because of my uromisitius. Running has saved my life.
Im black and im lazy and Im racist and want to be given everything because my ancestors picked cotton in fields for no money for 12+ hours in a day. I think I should be given what they “should” have earned plus 200 years of interest and I think that the government and white people should pay it. I think they should have a marathon called “run for all the lazy blacks who think they are entitled something and have no self respect to rise up and accomplish something” Marathon and all the proceeds should go toward my lazy fat a** worthless Gangsta lifestyle. I rob because Im entiled to something more. So go on and run your races and strive for personal excellence, pay your taxes and keep paying my welfare check and paying for my brothers prison cell. You go on and reach to new hights and clear your mind with running to stay healthy. Ill be right here with my fries. thanks.
Puking at the end of a marathon would be a great picture to show all of your white friends. What would make it more impressive is that you actually stopped to have a few beers at microbreweries (which white people love) along the way, causing, of course, the puking.
actually, most white people in America are couch potatoes who prefer Judge Judy marathons.
lol white people are dumb like that
I ran 13 marathons. Does that make white?
As a white runner, I thought the post was hilarious.
As a person, I thought the people saying ‘running is bad for you’ were even more hilarious.
Great post. And all true.
Black folks used to make up a much larger percentage of marathoners. It used to be more of a working class multi-racial sport in the US.
And truly, marathoning is bad for you, except that every study shows that marathoners live longer and healthier lives than the general population.
LOL, I am a total white marathoner who was picked last in gym class during high school and now gets a kick out of being way more in shape than all those kids I went to school with.
Since consistency is highly overrated, I’m going to take a moment here to both laugh at my lack of originality while simultaneously feeling pretty awesome about doing well in an event that not a lot of folks ever do. Go team!
So I just gotta say… the article didn’t offend me at all, found it hilarious. So true… I’m training for my first marathon and probably do bore the shit out of my friends and coworkers (non-runners) all the time. But what I found offensive was all the crap afterwards. All the racist people of both colors talking about the others as if they were better. The black guy that says white people are dumb for running 3+ hours. The white guy that said blacks can’t bike or swim or whatever. Just stupid. You can’t do it. I can’t run a 4 second 40, but I have a respectable sub 6 minute mile. But I’d wager that football player that’s in such good shape, or the basketball player that can score 50+ or triple double can’t run, constantly, for 3 hours. If you want to talk about capabilities, join me for my first 100 mile run in November. And for the record, I played baseball, soccer, football (not basketball cause this white guy can’t jump) in school, was also on the academic bowl and math bowl teams, scrape by to buy my shoes, have a $750 bike, can’t swim (so I stay my white ass out of the pool), and brag about running for that long.
Side note: with injuries notwithstanding, sedintary population (meaning don’t regularly run/workout/play sports/exercise) on average maintain their knees into old age (60+) at a rate of 60%. Marathon runners, again who are injury free, maintain their knees into advanced years at a rate of 80%. The leading cause of death for black americans is heart disease, third is stroke and fourth is diabetes (from CDC), all of which are abated by running. In addition from just running 5 miles a day you burn, on average, 500 more calories the just breathing, which if you ask any real runner, means they just get to eat whatever they want and not worry about it. So infact… running IS healthy, and if done properly, with appropriate rest and recovery, marathoning is excellent for the body. Look on youtube for the 101 year old guy in Enland that’s running a marathon, and find me a 101 year old guy that still plays basketball for 8 hours at a time.
[…] #27 Marathons […]
“bad for you”????
I suppose not running is better for your heart
Why is marathon running bad for you?
I pooped my pants
I got a good laugh out of this, because I am a strength and conditioning coach at a Div I College and it amuses me that people think they need to buy the ipod and all the fancy running gear when our college cross country (black and white) just goes out and runs faster and longer with simply shoes and shorts (which i think is reasonable).
That being said, working with (competitive) athletes all day, you are right pro basketball and football players of any size are in better shape than the typical middle aged lawyer/triathlete.
But real runners and triathletes, I have noticed to be in exceptional shape. When I help with the track team we typically do the exact same workouts that the basketball team does, but after that instead of grabbing a protein shake and going to class like the basketball team, the track team has to go out for an 8 to 12 mile run.
now comparing real runners here (sub 2:20 marathon) with weekend warriors running 4 plus marathons obviously are about as similar as a house cat is to a tiger, and generally are in better shape than their football and basketball counterparts because fitness is the entire sport for these athletes whereas football, basketball, and baseball you can substitute fitness for the ability to hit a ball 40% of the time and you’ll still be considered great.
You probably won’t read this cause it is so long, but just clearing things up.
oh and its not Kenyans anymore, its Ethiopians.
This comment will end all the mystery. First, I and foremost, I am a black-american native american. That is right. My grandmother was seminole and my mother was black. My last name typifies the plight of my people. My last name is Ketchum, from the Ketchum clan of Seminoles. If you study your native american history, you will see that the Seminoles were one of the few tribes that escaped capture from the southern forces when they travelled from southern florida through texas to escape the american armies.
So my ancestry is rooted in running and the track history of my family proudly displays this genetic trait. With that said, I played football but loved karate as a high schooler. Given the fact that my high school Coach Vela has psychological issues with smart black men (I was from New York but lived my secondary school years in TExas), I stopped playing football and turned all of my attention to kickboxing. When Bruce Lee died, I purchased all of his training books and emulated his training protocol. I ran 3-5 miles up hills and streets and cycled 20 miles for conditioning my body. This lasted for over 20 years until I formerly retured from kickboxing. Although I loved football, I was not fast enough to play wide receiver and start for my college teams running a 4.8 in the forty. Nor was I ever fast enough to run competitive 5Ks or 10Ks. However, I could run and play football and won many trophies in many karate tournaments as a fighter.
When I retired from karate, I started running more and began participating in bike tours of 40, 60 and 100 miles. My most expensive bike was a little over $1200 but I have rode in over 5 centuries (distances of over 100 miles).
Yes, I am a proud nerd but take challenge with your beleif that football players are in better shape than triathletes. I once took a star point guard from college on a bike tour with me for 57 miles. I must have left him behind after 3 miles. After the ride, I was told that he could barely walk for 3 days. Does that mean that I am in better shape than he is? NO, because he was not used to cycling long distance and people are in shape for their respective sports. Basketball players pass me all of the time because they are faster and quicker then me. Does that make them a better athlete? Not necessarily. I am in great shape for 50 years of age and can put up fitness numbers that Marine Corp DI would be proud of. However, it all comes down to a person’s fitness in terms of functional fitness.
Most football players cannot run more than 5 miles. Anyone remember Alan Page, one of the defensive front four from the Minnesota Vikings, one of the PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS from the 1970’s NFL team that went to the Super Bowl 4 times? He became a runner while he played for the Vikings and everyone thought he was crazy. IN fact, he lost 20 lbs while he was preparing for law school (yes, while still playing in the NFL) when he began running with his white wife. Oh, did i forget to say that he is black. He became a better defensive lineman getting to the quarterback faster than his teammates due to his running. He proved that running helped his career, both as a football player and future judge in the Supreme Court of Minnesota.
Running marathons is NOT good for all people. Spending all of that time producing free radicals is bad becasue the body has difficulty getting rid of all of the waste by-products that are produced from 3 hours of running and if you body does not have an efficient system for removing waste rapidly, then the body will suffer. I used to cycle 100 mile events and was high for 2-3 days following a century. ONe can take 6 – 8 hours to finish a century, so I know about distance cycling and training. I have to weight train to get faster, keep my body weight low, train my legs to go over mountains, and more. Triathletes are in very good shape, don’t let anyone fool you about that one. Their muscles are conditioned and trained for strength, endurance and power. I would never run a marathon, with all of that pounding on the pavement and the heavy impact on my knee and other joints. But I would cycle the distance.
Maybe what someone said was true, that marathoners and triaths are nerds who didn’t get the chance to shine in high school, but then again, I didnt’ get the chance either and I have always been a better than average athlete. See my photo on http://marinecorpfitness.tripod.com.
Here is the question:
What is Sports?
The answers is: an athletic, recreational activity that helps the participant improve his conditioning and maintain a high fitness level while engaging in a athletic activity. NOtice, the key word here is athletic. Athletic has nothing to do with a team dynamic or toughness. With reasonable certainty, I am in better shape than 90% of most retired NFL football players, MLB baseball players, 90% of most NBA retired players and 80% of the population. This is what counts the most. ONe doesn’t have to run 6 minute miles to be in shape but an 8:30 mile is also good for my age and weight. I can’t lift 300 lbs bench press but I can do 5 sets of 25 push ups and sit ups consecutively. I can cycle almost 18 miles in one hour which is pretty good and I lift weights to do this. I now love basketball and play full court to improve my cycling conditioning. I look at the coaches who are younger than me, most having some varsity experience in High school and college and I am in better shape than them because I have always trained as a martial artist for all of my adult life. You see, a martial artists trains like there is no off season. They trian daily and regularly and test themselves when sparring. NO other sport comes close (except basketball – one on one).
An athlete is only as good as his training. Hitting another person with a punch or kick or running throught them is no indicator of fitness. Keeping your heart rate at 175 for over an hour is. Being able to cycle 100 miles under 6 hours is an indicator of superb fitness. Running 4 miles under 32 minutes is a great fitness goal and indicator of a person’s fitness. Shooting a basketball is not. But running up and down a court for 48 minutes is. Neither is hitting a baseball. Baseball is the weakest white sport I have ever known in my life. I hate baseball and acknowledge it as a sport for the lazy. Any sport that could be played two times per day is a weak sport. I challenge any footballer to cycle 100 miles with me and then run 5 miles afterward. Oh, I don’t swim very well, but I substitute with Kayaking.
Go ahead, say it to my face, and my foot will find its way in your face. I train very hard for my sports. I spend at least 10 hours in the weight room every week developing my leg and upper body strength to keep my conditioning up for cycling 12 degree inclines up mountains and improving my VO2 max. So also trained hard for kickboxing lifting weights, running laps, doing calisthenics. So here is my gift:
Websites:
http://www.exrx.com a great site for fitness
http://marinecorpfitness.tripod.com my site for fitness
http://www.newstarget.com Mike Rangers health site
http://www.garynull.com the ultimate site for health/fitness
Sports is about staying in shape for the rest of your life. You can’t do that hitting someone in the face, or running them into the ground. I did all of these things but it doesn’t mean that I am in shape. Ask any 350 lb lineman if they feel in shape when they retire and most of them have heart problems.
Basketball and soccer players and fighters are in the best shape of all athletes. Dont’ ever get it twisted. The next time you think otherwise, try to go one three minute round against someone and you will see their conditioning within the first round. Or try to play full court basketball with your co-woker and see them pass out within 5 minutes. That is why I now love basketball. You cannot tell me that I am not fit. It is so similar to kickboxing.
America is grossly overweight and out of shape. Imagine where America would be without slavery if white people had to build this country? Tara (Gone with the Wind) would have gotten her ass beat picking cotton.
I love everyone and am no hater of people. However, white people love dumb stuff like golf and snowboarding, stuff that has no athletic value whatsoever. And what is this stupidity about sitting in the stands watching a bunch of CO2 emitters running around a hugh race track while I inhale exhaust fumes. Who would ever think of such a sport as NASCAR? What a waste of fossil fuel. Image a sport where the spectators lives are reduced every time they breath in the fumes. What type of trash is that?
In conclusion, I will be cycling, running, playing basketball and kayaking for the rest of my life. I don’t need a team to run, cycle or kayak and only need one other person to play basketball or a few others to play full court. TEam sports are all over rated. When you get my age, you realize that most of your teammates are either in poor health or dead becasue they stuck to the dynamics of team sports (BEER, drinking, overeating, bad eating, obesity, injuries from playing days). I am much healthier with my health bars than eating a Snickers or drinking Budweiser (NFL Commercials). Team Sports in this country are overemphasized and individual sports are laughed at. Instead, they should have sports networks and shows focusing on the local little people who work 9-5s AND workout in prep for a weekend event.
Running a marathon doesn’t make one the ultimate champion. I feel like I run a marathon every time I finish the Van Courtland 5 mile runing trail in the Bronx under 40 minutes and that is all it takes to take care of yourself when keeping a 165 heart rate during the run. Dan Marino gained 40 lbs when he retired from football and took another 8 months to get it off. I never had that problem because I live like an athlete all of my life. If we would stop looking at other athletes and other races and start taking care of our bodies, then we would all be in shape and would have the cure for cancer.
Don’t falt white people for their foolishness. REmember Major Taylor, the FIRST International athlete who won cycling events but was ostracized due to his race? He was certainly in shape but never accepted in society. We individual athletes should all remember this when out on our lonely runs in the morning. We should all be happy when we finish any event. We should all be thankful to be able to run and finish any event and not compare ourselves with other athletes because it all comes down to your life expectancy. If it extends your life, then it is good for you and that is all that matters. thank you Jack Lalanne.
They also probably bought the cliff bars, protien shakes, Gu etc from Whole Foods. ; )
You needed her friendship like the Chinese needed help from the Japanese governing Nanking.
You mean Whole Paycheck.
White boy- you are hilarious, nice rappin skills, seems like u might have some cred–
-educated latina girl with far too many similarities with white people than she’d like to admit!
This post is hilarious but you’re being rude! Runnins is NOT pathetic! Do you run? If you did, you might see that its very hard and very rewarding!!! As far as marathons being unhealthy for you… ummm I didn’t know that cardiovascular exercise was unhealthy…hmm…
anyway– carry on.
-Normita
[…] the interest of full disclosure, I am training for a race. But only a half marathon. And I’m certainly not trying to qualify for the Boston […]
Hmmm…… I grew up an impoverished white kid, in a decent sized city, which almost makes me black, like Ted Corbitt actually was, yet he ran the 1952 Olympic Marathon for the USA, a less pretentious man I never met. I have run marathons because I like to run. I don’t talk about running unless asked, but will write when amused by something about running, and this was an amusing look at marathoning enhanced by the wide variety of responses.
Participating in any type of “-a-thon” is white.
Marathons score you extra points espcially if it’s for cancer of some obscure disease so u can brag about at work while you sip Gatorade at your desk. It will give you a mystique and everybody will think you are into “wellness” and “finding a cure”.
It also helps you get laid if you run for some disease because all the chicks at work will not only know that you have endurance in bed but also that you are “caring” and “tryingto make a difference”.
Always make sure you say your high school girlfriend or “best friend when you were 7” died from the disease.
Instant pussy.
Hopefully you borrowed $20 before your friendship ended!
So you’re saying, generally speaking, blame it on the Sahara, and for not living in France…
I don’t know about you, I’ve never heard anyone say “I’m not HURTING or IN PAIN” after a marathon.
That, and the fact that the REALLY good marathon runners look as flimsy as house made from a deck of cards. I’ve known runners who get totally upset stomach, whos nipples and thighs chafe, shin splints, sore jonts (especially the taller ones who are of “average” build), the 3 hours of pounding your knees, ankles, and hips, sore back, sore feet, blisters, all so they can say they “did it”. And these runners were more than just hobbyists. I’d rather do circuit training for 2 hours. The benefits will be much better for you than all that running, ANY DAY.
Yeah, and swimmers don’t use their hearts when they swim, and they’re in poor health. Because they’re not running. Do you see the logic? Me neither, because you don’t have to RUN to do cardio. Man.
[…] favorite line so far is in #27. Marathons Also worth nothing, more competitive white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford […]
If minorities made more money do you really think that they’d spend it on “smoking crack in bed vs. running shoes and gel?” Do you really think that comparison is accurate? Way to pick a stereotype and run with it (pun intended) “who’s right, who’s wrong? We all engage ourselves in what makes us happy” As a black woman I wasn’t aware that I should spend my income on crack to be smoked in bed, but thanks for the heads up! You are a fucktard.
I live now in a different demographic than where I grew up. I grew up in the educated middle class in Seattle in the 1970s. Now I live and work in a small rural county where only 10% of the adult population has a college degree. Those with the college degree are the teachers, lawyers, doctors, other health professionals, business owners and sundry others. The other 90% are struggling to get by. My county is mostly white, with some Latino families and a very few African Americans and various Asian people, a family from the Indian subcontinent and another family with an Arabic last name.
Anyway, my point is that most of the white people around here don’t engage in marathons, triathlons, or kayaking or snowboarding. Those that are getting by are just barely getting by making a living in the tourist industry. Last spring a number of kids at my school got kicked out of their rental housing – mostly apartments – because those apartments got razed and converted into condo space, for the second and third homes of non-residents who vacation here.
This blog is mostly about class, and also age, more than it is about all white people. It matches my friends who stayed in coastal, urban America, unless my friends happen to be college professors in small rural towns. (There’s no four year college around here, by the way…I wish for one.)
So, like the rich white tourists who visit my town, I put on my running tights and shoes and get out in the rain to go for a run. Last year I did run a marathon. I ran it very slowly. I did gain the respect of some of my colleagues at my school for doing so, those who also grew up in urban America, got a college degree and then moved out here to teach school. I am glad I made this my goal – it got me out of my dark, moldy rental house which probably used to be someone’s vacation house, which is all we can afford on a teacher’s salary. Marathons are essentially a bourgeois activity – they cost money for registration, and money for shoes and non-cotton underwear. I can’t say that as someone who grew up white in Seattle to college-educated, professional parents I am NOT bourgeois, that would be a ridiculous claim on my part, but living here has given me a different window on class than I would have had if I had stayed in Seattle, Portland or the Bay Area where I was surrounded by people like me.
your totally a white person.
“me me me me this is what I do please pay attention and be impressed.”
Here’s another Mexican who loves this blog. I think because we know so many white people and understand them so well. In the end, we all want the same stuff anyway. I know so many Mexicans in Chicago who ran the marathon for all the same reasons as white people. I ran 13 marathons myself, but that was about 40 pounds ago! Now I just run for fun and exercise.
Well I’m disappointed now because i was going to put a picture of myself on facebook in my awesome new outfit for the half marathon i’m running in a few weeks from now, but my stinker of a friend sent this to me and i’m laughing so hard at this because it’s so true. I’m just proud of myself for getting my butt off the couch and training for this thing :).. This is a great post…
I’m white and I HATE running.
I would rather stick a hot poker up my ass then run a marathon.
too priveliged to know better
I agree, work ethic is pathetic and bad for you
you know your too white when you don’t get the joke. and you correct your grammar on principle.
unless running a marothon isn’t hard, which is why you train. climbing mount everest makes you more white than anything.
don’t you listen to the media? white people aren’t aloud to talk about race.
you make this sound like its hypothetical
I have found in my five marathons that after about 15 miles white women will urinate and defecate on the side of the road in the open, even with a strange man beside her. The pain rips apart all sense of white decorum.
[…] For the full post, check it out Stuff White People Like: Marathons. […]
Hey, umm…if white people are the ones who love marathons so much, how come it’s always a Kenyan dude who wins every frickin’ marathon ever held anywhere?
I think marathons are ready-made for those guys who couldn’t play ball in school because they were too clumsy and uncoordinated. With the invention of this exercise in self-flagellation known as the marathon, these guys can be “athletes,” too !
Such ignorance
[…] Don’t be ridiculous. It is however well documented and researched that we do like them. […]
I love this blog. Too true.
I run marathons too, lookin forward to be a triathlete…ahaha
Haha! I love the “AA For White People” comments I see on this blog.
“Hello everyone. My name is Phelan, I am 28 years old, and I’ve been a white person for 28 years.”
“Hi, Phelan.”
“I like to train for the Marathon on my Saturdays, and stop in at the local microbrewery for beer, and listen to NPR podcasts on my iPod while I read the local ‘Indie ‘zine’. I know it’s wrong, but I have to submit myself to a higher power. A sense of humor.”
yeah, well, for all the hating on mr. lwb, can any of you run a marathon? are you proficient in any of the other, cooler sports mentioned? can you ride a bike for miles and miles? it’s not necessary to be rude just cause some white guy sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.
Thats true… and while this post hit a little close to home. Marathons and Ironman events are the top sporting events because they are the only sporting events in which you can break a bone without crashing or running into a big burly guy
Hell yes
This just kills me. I’m a white guy and I’m currently training for a marathon. I can’t stop laughing at this stuff. One more thing that I’m not sure has been mentioned is the current trend of blogging your current training and race results for everyone to see.
Amen, brotha. Amen.
[…] product dependency to a crack habit. They admit/proclaim their dependency on things like running marathons, specialty coffees, yoga, asian fusion food, with such intensity that can only be comparable to a […]
I’m a white guy and I like to jerk off, does that count?
This is funny because it’s true. I am a white former football player who now runs, bikes and swims. I started by running one marathon and now I’m thinking about a triathlon. I do these sports now because there is no way my body can take football anymore. Even flag football is harder on the muscles and joints than running, biking and swimming. Basically, if your in the middle of the pack and just looking to finish, you just get into a comfortable pace and keep at it – your body adapts and you can do all of this without great injury. The people who get hurt running etc, are people who just do too much too fast. Look at the people who finish these things, they are not all ‘elite, fit bodies’ lots of them you would look at and guess they couldn’t finish a 5k, but with improved running shoes, etc., nearly any fat tub of goo can drag that lard over the finish line if they just hang with it long enough.
It doesn’t say that white people like to “WIN” marathons, we’ve pretty much given up on that, we just like to ‘finish’ marathons – in say 4- 5 hrs. rather than the 2-ish that those pesky Ethiopians and Kenyans rush through it in – how do they even enjoy they course when they rush by it all so fast?
Also white people have gone to running ultra-marathons – 30 – 50 – 100 miles, this is another way to weed out the non-white competition who think these distances are just stupid because really at some point you’re not really running, you’re walking, jogging, etc. , but white people can still claim dominance – this is mostly for white people who don’t have the $$ for the triathlon equipment, but who have jobs or lifestyles that permit them the time to run nearly constantly.
Basically the marathoners are the white folks who are too wussified to engage in the activity that you suggest. I for one, chose the marathon. It was close, had the poker in my hand, but I just couldn’t carry through on it.
The more the marathon and triathlon becomes commercialised, the less respect I find people have for the training it takes to compete. I think there should be a entry standard for most of these events, then people would take it more seriously, however then these companies (selling equipment and clothing) wouldn’t make as much money…
About Ethiopians and triathlon, I bet if there were more of them in the sport they’d kick everyone’s butt as well, 10$ bike or 10,000$ bike. Although having a 10,000 bike does speed up your bike time… which is why I think it’s grossly commercialized… people with money can pay for their lack of fitness.
Wrestlers are fit. Triathletes can swim, bike and run at medium speed.
Yeah, I see/hear a lot more average/slow triathletes brag about their training regimen than elite athletes in other sports… must be the culture, which is why I hate it. Don’t get me wrong, I do the training and I train because I enjoy it but I don’t like to race “triathlons”.
I think we should all just quit talking about training and just do it quietly.
Hey, that’s why I started running marathons. There is very little coordination involved. Of course, there is the small matter of running those pesky 26.2 miles, in a row, on the same day. But at least I don’t have to dribble a ball whilst doing it!!
So I take it this method has worked for you?
Or more likely you’re jealous of the guys you know who do all of the above and have gfs while you’re at home masturbating and posting dumbass comments on blogs such as these.
I dont know who you are but you are so right- its funny because most of the people typing on this blog probably suffer from obesity. For those of you that think running is bad for you, tell that to the person who just had a heart attack because he didnt exercise. Or maybe the person that just contemplated suicide b/c they felt they had nothing to live for. Running is heathly- its better for you mentally then staying indoor in some sweaty nasty gym with B.O. all around you- give me a break! It’s a chance to get fresh air, see new sights, make friends, build your ego- if that isnt good for you then what is? Sure, maybe it wears on your limbs- if your 500 pounds… but what doesnt these days? You think pounding on a stair master for an hour instead is that much better for you? So what, we should play soccer or baseball or football or hockey? Ya they seem alot better for you then running! I would much rather lose all my front teeth, break my collar bone, chew tabacco and have jock itch. Give me a break people! Whats the history of football? soccer? hockey? Maybe you should look up how marathons began- i bet youll find it more significant then the history of most sports. To each their own but for those of you mocking runners, get off your high horse and commit to anything that takes as much time and dedication as running a marathon (and no, playing a video game for hours on end to beat it doesnt count)… When you do, then you will have room to talk and until then, continue to watch the sport (yes- sport) of marathoning grow…
Funny stuff – doesn’t offend either my Caucasian or Asian halves. Would like to think it isn’t offending others. The crowd whitens the longer the distance of the run, too. Any idiot can run a marathon, it takes a special kind of idiot to run a 100 miles. Veteran of many marathons and ultramarathons, including 100K and 100 mile runs (my brag), I can attest to both the lack of colour and at least the appearance of upper middle income in my fellow participants. Paying over $100 entry and possibly travelling plus accommodation might have a lot to do with that (the appearance of higher income, not the colour).
As to the sport being unhealthy, would you mind not saying that with your mouth full of potato chips? Wipe that chip dip off your face while you are at it. I’ll gladly dance on your early grave despite my sore knees.
I’d rather run back and forth across the Grand Canyon (been there, done that, again my brag) than follow your puffing and wheezing fat ass off a tour bus to waddle through the gift shop in search of the hot dog stand. Hee-hee!!
Clearly, nothing stands between Mr. Lander and a case of KFC snackers.
This whole website is like the story of the Fox and the Grapes. Honestly, people aren’t “missing” anything when they criticize it. THis person obviously has a lot of built-up class envy. Let him have it, bloggers!
Trying to legitimate this person’s rant as “satire”, when he probably believes everything he says, is ridiculous.
White people like marathons! Das horrible. Sounds like something that’s good for the uplifting of the race. Keep telling yourselves that marathons are CATEGORICALLY bad for you. So is breathing, jackass. Nice life.
Go ahead and hate on exercise, ya fat bastard. While yo at it, take that donut outta yo mouffff. Iss yo berf-day…is it Ffursday yet?
Things (some) white people like:
Going to Europe and drinking wine (take a wine-appreciation course, you savage).
buying well-designed, comfortable clothing and shoes.
I apologize in advance for not picking up the fly, new Jordans, nigga. I chose the NB and the Asics, cause I didn’t have to save two month’s salary working at C-Town.
not pissing their lives away playing videogames and drooling in front of their television.
eating healthy food.
staying fit.
buying groceries in clean, well-stocked stores (and being willing and able to pay a little more for it).
flaunting wealth is american, whether yo buyin’ yo new phat gold chain or putting a bumpersticker with your favorite vacation spot on the back of your Audi A4.
ahaha, i was so confused by the “also worth nothing” comment. thanks for the clarification.
i don’t know that it’s strictly bad for you… i avoid them anyways.
Just do it and I recommend you to try Bali 10K next year. It’s fun
and aren’t most winners black!! Who fucking cares if you are white or black a runner or not, do what you want and wear it with pride! tell the nay sayers to kiss my ass, if they can catch me!!!! run negative nancys run….
…..how can running be bad for you if you enjoy it and it makes you healthier and happier,just about anything is worse for you than running. Were all gonna die anyway why not enjoy it the way you want!
that makes clear!
Finally, someone that shares my sentiment. Lets add swimming to the mix as well. I am not looking forward to the glorification of these so called athletes known as the olympics. Just think, if you raise kids that pick on other kids for sucking at normal sports (big 5) then you might keep US swimmers in the olympics.
Isn’t swimming one of those other things white people like?
In general, while triathlons are very competitive, they aren’t more competitive because there isn’t that much money in it.
Of course I mean participating, not staging the races.
Considering the expense of competing in and the small number reaching elite status, it isn’t profitable to compete.
Triathlons are an expensive pastime for all but a very few participants. The same is true somewhat for marathons, but anyone with the physical ability can run a marathon. The same is not true for triathlons.
Competing in an Ironman requires:
A steep entry fee.
Free time to train, more time than a marathon.
A place to swim, usually, but not always, an expensive proposition.
A high quality bike.
So it is way easier for Kenyans and Ethiopians to get started in marathons than triathlons.
I imagine that if there was more money in it, triathlons would become even more competitive.
[…] is surprisingly absent from many things that white humans like. However, white humans are into marathons, of which Boston has the best (IOHO), and we can plus lay claim to one of those ivy league places. […]
This is definitely true for a lot of people, but at the same time i’d have to agree with many of the other posts- dedicated marathon/ultra runners have something to be proud of. Look up Helen Klein- 85 years old, started at 50, runs 100 mile ultras, and other crazy things like a 500k across Colorado. While I admire her accomplishments, however, I’m not the biggest fan of Dean..something with a K.. on the back of Kashi cereal boxes. He’s an amazing athlete, but ultra runners usually don’t advertise their hobby the way the typical 26.2mile marathoner does, and he’s sort of ruined the secrecy of the sport.
hahahaha. You liberals just don’t get it, even by responding to these two geniuses’ blog we’re all (conservatives) laughing in your face. If you’re at all confused by this blog then you just don’t realize that it’s really about Liberals vs. Conservatives; hence “Liberals” are the “White people” referenced in this blog….
I literally burst out loud everytime I see oneof you go: Hey, gee whiz! This blog is fantastic, I do a bunch of these things!
DISCLAIMER:
If you find that these observations encompass any of your daily activities, do not respond since WHITE conservatives like me already laugh at all of you under our breath with every prius and scarf we see!
[…] #27 Marathons https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/26/27-marathons/ […]
Ha! This is both true and funny. I was a competitive rower for nine years (future post?) and most of the guys on our team could have run a marathon with no additional specialized training. For gods sake, our coach ran a marathon one year on a whim. With no additional training. But these office type are like “yeah, I did it!” And we’re like yeah, give us a split time, there buddy. And they’re like “No, I finished. I am content.”
[…] I’m obsessed with vintage wares, I’m a vegetarian, I am working up to running a full marathon, I listen almost exclusively to indie music, and I’d marry Stephen Colbert if I could! The […]
I like to run to lose weight…that’s all (well, also cholesterol)…other than that it sucks. I lost 30 lbs in 6 months while eating all the food I laid eyes on. Plus, if you do too much of it, it’s not good for you. It is fun, however, smoking the hell out of “runners” (with their little water bottles around their waste and mesh hats) blowing their doors off while looking some washed up football player in basketball shorts and an old army t-shirt…haha! I mean, these twerps run like 5 miles and think they are competing in the first Olympiad. Dumb asses.
As a collegiate runner and later marathoner and triathlete that your spot on a lot of white people run to tell everyone and their mother that they are a runner and have run a marathon.
As for being in shape, whether you’re in shape to run, swim, ball, whatever you are in shape. A center or Wideout isn’t going for an Ironman and Multisporters aren’t working a crossover or working sack drills.
If we want to know who is the best athlete and the best sport let’s settle it on american gladiators, everyone loves that.
Ive come on this to the conclusion that the reason white people like all of the shit on this website is the following:
If you got it like that why not experience more with your life.
Shit I golf, snowboard, rockclimb, mountain bike, live in manhattan, drive a fat asS bmw suv, fuck asian women, have plenty of black friends, got sweaters and motherfuckin t-shirts that I’LL wear on a plane to San FraCisco if I damn well fell like it. Shit Ill Even invite my lawyer to my beach house on a sunday for coffee maybe some tea while we read the fuckin New York Times. Yes the Liberal rag that sweats Barack Obama. After that we will indulge in some microbrews on my vintage sail boat.
When I get Bored ill travel the fuck where I want probably to snowboard somewhere usually Utah the whitest fuckin state there is. Ill take in some wine before I watch a film at sundance while I am there.
Just for a challenge I will go to a farmers market get some organic shit go home and order some sushi. You see I am trying to get in shape to run a fuckin marathon. After I finish the first thing I am going to do is shut of my i-pod loaded with free music, grab some bottled water and spark a fat mother fuckin spliff!!!!
YEAH I LOVE BEING AWARE OF DIVERSITY.
HOWEVER THE IRONY OF THIS WHOLE THING IS BEING WHITE FOR ME ONLY FOR ME!!! kICKS BIGTIME ASS!!
“Also worth nothing, more competitive white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford $10,000 specialty bicycles”…
hahaha – this was hilarious… cant wait to show it to my triathlon competing white friends….
seriously? How many pages did you dump this load on? This has to be the 4th time I saw it!
agreed
Guilty, but now that I know how it looks I am planning to tone down the marathon talk. Lol.
[…] Now can we have a book deal? […]
I do love American Gladiators. I’m half-white and half-hispanic but am also dieing to run a marathon because its a HUGE accomplishment. Especially compared to all the fatties here in the US. If I ran a marathon I would defintely tell everyone and their mother.
runners are annoying. Competitive and regulars. Not the running, but the attitude that goes along with it. Smug is the best word.
Triatheletes are in much better overall physical shape than basketball and football players
I ran a marathon to quit smoking cigarettes. I finished and I haven’t smoked since. Mission accomplished. I am white. I really don’t care. You all do what you want to, and so will I.
Good night.
I run at my local track with my white yuppie friends. we know we’re losers but we don’t care. I lost 40 pounds by running. That’s good enough for me.
I’m a white guy, and I train for Ironman triathlons. My family doesn’t understand, my friends don’t understand, obviously most people reading this post don’t understand.
Guess what?
Guys like me- we don’t care that you don’t get it.
Anyway to say that “white people” love running marathons -as though loving exercise or pushing yourself physically- no matter your age- is somehow uncool?
I guess according to you the only way to be cool is to either play basketball or be fat and lazy…
That said- funny post.
Are you black? or are you just a pathetic white american trying to look good in the black peoples eyes just because you think your not cool?!?!
you are pathetic! I run, play b-ball and fight professionaly..but I dont have to be black to be cool, thats your typical americana mentality! I am a pure european white person who feels ashamed of white people like you..how can you think that those blacks on mtv are cool??
for gods sake they are blindley pathetic and dont even know it because idiots like you aplaude them…
YOU SHMUCK
I disagree. I doubt a triathlete can match the explosive abilities and overall strength and power of football and basketball players. They may have an edge in extreme endurance, that’s about it. Plus, men who participate in extreme endurance exercise have lower levels of testosterone, which means less muscle mass and problems getting it up.
okay…I so don’t get this blog. I am an african-american female who know LOTS of people who run marathons, Black and white. As a matter of fact, I found this blog searching for a marathons to participate in.
reading the previous comments, I see there are people who were offended and making certain comments that may be putting another race down..I’m just not a huge fan of bashing anyone or any race……
Last time I checked,this list was meant to be humorous.Why are many of you getting so offended? I swear,the minute you make light or poke fun at anything someones into,they go off on some humorless rant.It’s a goof you idiots,lighten up! Well,”getting offended” was on this list,so maybe I should’nt be surprised by some of the posts ; )
Forget marathons- running in general, should be the yardstick.
Who else besides white people, track team members, and a sprinkling of minority elites, run? Name anybody.
If you want to know the “gentry stage” of any given neighborhood – without relying on oldy moldy census data – hang out for a while and count runners.
Runners are the canaries in the coal mine. They’re acutely aware of the abuse/torment they’ll receive from The Wrong Kind of White, or in places with a little too much color. If a neighborhood attains critical mass socioeconomically, and critical “prevailing sense of safety”, runners sprout up magically.
The subject matter int his blog recently came to my attention just yesterday. I was driving (and typically I bike, mostly b/c there’s no place to park on campus) and noticed that there were quite a substantial number of runners out. Mind you, it’s well over 90 degrees and over 70 percent humidity and people are stilll out there running. I found it extremely amusing to watch the wealthy white people, running with their ipods, shiny white sneakers, and recently purchased short shorts and matching tops. It was like Edward Sciccorhands or Pleasantville. I felt like they were lambs being led to the slaughter.
The dichotomy between the black and white culture bacame even more apparent as I neered my house and stopped by a local gas station to fuel up, there were several older black gentlemen sitting on 5 gallon buckets drinking beer out of half-covered paper bags. At the time, I was imagining what these gentlemen thought of such an activity ( I wondered if they were considering robbing me). They must look at white people running, the same way I was looking at them- in a state of total disbelief and embarassment.
Oh well, the whiteys ran and the blacks got their drink on. Who cares right?
Triathletes are obnoxious. (A) running, swimming, and biking are not sports, they are activities. (B) Sports involve a goal of some sort, that can only be achieved via a combination of activities (i.e. skating and handling a stick and puck = hockey). Triathletes are so pretentious, just talking to them makes you want to kill yourself. They’re always about their stupid training. And, as an earlier blogger noted, the only reason triathletes exist is to attemt to establish a venue where black people would find it more difficult to dominate. Truth be told, triathletes are simply washed up toolboxes who couldn’t excel in in any real sport. They use the moniker “triathlete” to insinuate that they are superior to the rest of us slobs. In fact, “tri” implies that they are three times the athlete. Go wear your stupid short shorts and dopey hats and leave the rest of us alone.
I agree with you Doc. I am also white, a chronic masturbater, and chocolate milk enthusiast. Perhaps there’s a sport I could call my own if we count that I like to chase the cat around the house while I rub nude ass on the carpet.
that’s hysterical. Even better though are when post adolescent white dickheads get together to a do bar crawl to fight a disease- that’s garaunteed beav. shit their drunk and you got a t shirt on that says how much you care.
[…] am also obsessive about grammar, worship Steve Jobs, and have a Haile Gebrselassie-like fixation on marathons. There is also Stuff Asian People Like, Stuff Christians Like (booty-god-booty), Stuff Educated […]
I’d like to take this time to thank you and everyone else involved with the Mesa Falls Marathon. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience. I came from Kansas City to run in my second marathon and was not disappointed. The people of your town and surrounding communities were among the most friendly I’ve encountered.
——————————
kayla
Crack Cocaine
The people who usually make fun of people who run marathons will never be able to run a marathon. In a good time at least. “Oh, sure, if I wanted to waste me time trying to run that far, blah, blah, blah.” Just try to run 26 miles as fast you can without stopping.
Unbelievably stupid comment! Those guys who were sterling “athletes” back in high school are now obese blowhards. If you really think marathon runners aren’t athletes you don’t have an IQ that is room temperature. Almost 90% of olympic athletes do at least some distance running to prepare. Running is absolutely paramount for almost all pro athletes fitness regimens. I have run 34 marathons, some sub-3 hour, some well over 4. At 54 I am in the best shape of my life (better than when I played high school football). I will stack my fitness up against any of the natural athletes the coaches were so enamoured of in high school. Hard work and discipline make athletes. People who write ridiculous comments like the ones here have never sacrificed and don’t understand real athletes.
Marathon runners are the Toyota Prius of athletes…….YOU try and drive 700 miles on a tank buddy!!!! YA! WOO!! HOOAH!
Nice shorts
There is no way football players are in better shape than triathletes or marathoners, but nice try
[…] Calling all rich masochists: Just 17 days to your next Lollapalooza, The Chicago Marathon (Oct 12). Be patient! Indeed, this is a stuff white people like. […]
[…] for about 9 seconds back in later winter/early spring ‘08. They had a good run including Marathons (No. 27) and Wrigley Field (No. 30) and may have reached their high water mark with Performance […]
Lots of football players are obese, not many runners are.
[…] an intellectual endeavour as a physical one, whereas Stuff White People Like had me chuckling about the ridiculousness of the whole thing (the comments make it even more […]
Guilty! I was too much of a wuss to run a marathon so i just did a half… now my latest goal is to complete a century (100 mile) bike ride.
You got me! I love it! The training, the photos, the glory!
http://www.paunchiness.com
[…] began the myth that running marathons is only cool if you lack any melanin? What makes the idea even more crazy is the fact that some of the most famous sprinters are people […]
I think its because, unlike sprinting, marathons require no natural talent, just hard work.
What? Yeah, maybe the correlation between hard work and success is a little higher for marathon runners than sprinters, but V02 max, lactic acid threshold and a number of other factors contribute to success. Both numbers can be changed through training, but V02 max in particular doesn’t change very much.
I sincerely hope your comment was sarcastic.
So, in your opinion, track and field does not belong in the Olympic Games because it is an activity and not a sport? Bolt isn’t an athlete, he’s just a participant in an activity? Give me a break. The original Olympics didn’t begin with a bunch of overly complicated sports, they began with pure simpler things like wrestling and running.
I think that there is an underlying and unfair comparison that is being made here. Most people do not watch televised triathlons, nor do that many individuals participate in reasonably competitive “American” team sports. In that case you wind up comparing an NFL player with the guy next door, which is inherently unfair.
This can be said for almost all groups of athletes.
This does seem a little strange. I don’t doubt the fitness of rowers, but I would imagine that running a marathon with little or no specific run training would not be a smart idea. I can’t see such a thing being good for one’s knees.
As a fellow whitey, I must admit the marathon is my ultimate goal, but I can’t get my butt out of bed to train for this. I ran track in high school and I know it hurts. My sister is a century bike competitor and she talks incessantly about her training so I think I’ll forego the marathon.
This is my favorite entry! I may be the only person in the world who is wholly unimpressed by people who talk about marathon running, and actually it makes me think less of them.
They expect me to think more highly of them because they ran almost every day for 3-9 months, then ran really far one day? They like to explain that they learned something about themselves.
To me, what they learned is they can do any pointless activity if they put their mind to it…and if that wasn’t obvious prior to running a million miles, I feel bad for them.
Because let’s face it, instead they could have been working on that screenplay/novel they’re always talking about writing.
Yeah, by doing a pointless activity for a really long time you deserve respect.
Hey, I spent 4 straight days on the Internet and I bet you cant do that, therefore I am deserving of your respect.
See… here’s my about this. The opposite is true too. I run, I train for marathons, and I keep it to myself, because no one but me really cares. However, when and if people find out that I ran one, a lot of them feel the need to point out that there were better uses for my time, anyone can do it if they do nothing but run, it’s bad for your knees, etc…
My point it, it works both ways. I didn’t “learn something about myself,” or anything like that. I just am doing something I enjoy, so why do people feel the need to comment about it? I don’t ask people what they did on their weekend, and then criticize it.
”…triathletes are in better shape than football and basketball players.”
This is most certainly true. <.<
Triathletes are endurance athletes. Football players are power athletes. Olympic weightlifters (power athletes) can jump higher and run 40 yds faster than any other type of athlete. Look it up.
At the CrossFit where I train, the triathletes and other endurance wackos fail miserably at anything that doesn’t entail doing a low powered activity for a long time. ZZzzzzzzzzz. For example, some of the guys can’t do pull ups or overhead squat a measly weight, not to mention their shoulder and hip flexibility is absolutely horrible.
Metabolically, endurance training rids you of fat but also muscle mass which incidentally is the type of tissue where your power comes from. You can train for power minus the endurance cockamamie story and rip the same benefits.
BTW, I fell completely out of favor with a crowd of runner friends (white of course) when I ran a half marathon for shits and giggles with absolutely zero ensurance training, no special New balance shoes, Nike gear, or Gu…and only powered by Bloody Marys. Booyah!
It takes balls to be a long distance runner…balls you don’t have.
As far as better uses of time. Yeah, I imagine you all spend alot of quality time in front of the television, or video game, getting fat and dyeing young. Enjoy.
I’m a marathoner and I think it’s funny, and too true.
Ah Willie…I think you’re wearing your Birkenstocks a little too tight while noodling over that screenplay/novel you keep talking about (and will never finish). No marathoner expects you to think “more highly of them” simply because they run. They want to share their journey with anyone that wants to listen. And to say that you are unimpressed by anyone that can run 42.2km and even think less of them makes me think that you live with three cats and drive your car to the corner store to get milk.
So true… for us scrawny nerds of the baby boomer era, the American marathon heroes of the 70s (Frank Shorter, Bill Rogers, et al) were the ULTIMATE sports Gods. We’re skinny, we’re white and we’re proud! I just posted a blog on “Why wussies, dweebs and nerds make good marathon runners”… check it out:
http://wallywonderdog.blogspot.com/
Oh come on! If you are a writer you must understand that there is a wide range of human activity that gives people’s lives depth and meaning. To call running a “pointless” activity is silly and snobbish. I do agree with you that people who boast to others about their prowess in something like running is rude and annoying. But to trash the sport like you did is downright ignorant of you. I absolutely love running long distance and it gives my life an extra dimension. I am a bit of a snob myself about people who invest a lot of emotional energy into being sports fans. Last year I got the over 50 course record for the Denver marathon and it was a lovely sports story. To be my age and to be able to run around seven minutes per mile for 26.2 is way cool. I plan on having a pleasant old age and running is going to be a part of it. Just who the hell are you to trash that?!!!
check out my latest post on why wussies make good runners:
http://wallywonderdog.blogspot.com/
I love how “white” people act so hard core that they can do an endurance sport, not even do well just being able to do it. Anyone on the planet earth who can walk can do an endurance sport, marathons, triathlons, soccer, etc. with a little training. While acting like they are so tough for doing endurance sports they look down on sports that actually require skill and intelligence to perform (football, basketball, volleyball, wrestling, etc.). Not just being physically fit, but having technical skill that takes years of training to perfect.
I ran a marathon & although I am very proud of myself, this is funny!
so, you understand irony, right?
Yes. Do you understand the irony of all these people getting on this message board to defend marathoners? That is what I’m responding to.
The bottom line….. The people who are out there training to do something like a marathon or triathlon are actually doing something. Sure they could be doing better things with their time, but while they are out there training you are playing playstation or spending time on pointless things like myspace.
Just my thoughts…..
Oh yeh… there was a Statistic poll on the people who do endurance events like triathlons and Ultras.
Over 80% of these people are professionals in respect to their work field, and over 83% have college educations.
THATS WHY YOU DON’T SEE VERY MANY BLACK PEOPLE DOING THESE EVENTS UNLESS THEY FALL IN THE OTHER 20% OF PEOPLE.
I’m sorry — did you just alude to triathletes (which include individuals who do Ironmen) being in equal or worse shape than American football players?
I’d say lay off the crack, but then you’d stop writing these blogs and I’d cry.
Wait….none of the black people that run are in the 80% professional category or have college degrees? this is regarding the “THEY FALL IN THE OTHER 20% OF PEOPLE” statement
[…] #27 – Marathons I despise running. […]
I am white and I run and I find this post completely hysterical! I’m really not a big fan of the throwing of the arms above my head in victory when a camera is in sight. I prefer to suck in my belly to hide my fat mid-section and put on a smile so nobody can tell that I’m dying.
I do want to talk about what it takes to run a marathon because I work pretty hard at it and it takes a lot but I am aware that nobody (non-runners) really cares, so I don’t talk.
Nobody outside of my running friends “gets me” so I smile politely while they tell me how I’m going to DIE FROM A HEART ATTACK WHILE RUNNING or when they say I am RUINING MY KNEES AND MY BODY.
I don’t run to win, I run to finish. Just because I can’t win doesn’t mean I shouldn’t participate. That would be like telling an ugly girl not to bother going to the dance because only the pretty girls will get picked to dance.
I don’t need someone to pick me, I just wanna dance!
Runners of all colors, come join us at http://www.beenthererunthat.com where we love to talk about running.
Is this a racist remark? As a black person, I am not offended. But, this site has obviously offended you. I am a very smart individual and I happen to run year around (Track and Cross Country). Also, I don’t play games systems.
Blacks and other ethnic groups don’t run marathons because they have other things to do with their lives. Things that interest you don’t interest us. Personally, I do want to run in a marathon because I love running.
I agree with most of what you’ve said, but as a runner I have to disagree. Running does require skill.
[…] Marathons […]
Irony is something like, a person being struck and killed by an ambulance or TV promoting physical activity. The comment above appears to be antagonism with more than a grain of truth.
[…] Marathons To a white person, the absolute pinnacle of fitness is to run a marathon. Not to win, just to run.When they finish the marathon, they will generally take a photo of themselves in a pair of New Balance sneakers, running shorts, and their marathon number with both hands over their head in triumph (seriously, look it up, this is universal). […]
Okay people, if you define outright endurance at submaximal paces than triathletes are definitely ‘in better shape’ if you consider factors other than cardiorespiratory endurance. Such as quickness, lateral stability, explosive power than perhaps other ‘athletes’ are in better shape. Truth be told in any endurance event the triathlete would win but in any other sport or activity a basketball, football, soccer, or baseball player would win. It just depends how you define fitness which tells us more about ‘your’ beliefs not the fitness level of the athletes.
… and we (liberals) scoff at you when you have Palin run for VP! Keep up the good work!
stuffyourtypeofpeoplelike – missing the point entirely! hahaha!!!
hmm it seems like you are talking about the bragging part. i too would love to run a marathon as it is a great accomplishment! BUT!!! I AGREE i dont want to hear some fag tell me about his run. although marathons are such an extreme run that your body cant run another for quite some time. not like a bunch of monkeys runnin around on a b-ball court throwin chairs around. lol jk but fo real monkeys! ya i said it!
White people like training for a marathon on a Wii Fit. See “The Top 10 Reasons to Train for a Marathon on a Wii Fit.” http://tinyurl.com/a9yaf3
This is so damn true.
Everyone from my neighborhood: “I’m training for the Iron Man”.
white people make me sick
When I saw the title to this post I automatically thought of TV marathons, especially the ones on Sci-Fi.
Running is for suckers!
Wow! That is really harsh! If this were a comment about another ethnicity there would be a big fuss about it. The blog about marathoning was funny without being mean; too bad the comments can’t do the same!
I’ll co-sign that!
When someone tells me about how far they ran, I always think, “Why? Was someone chasing you?” Occassionally, I’ll say it out loud. I just can’t help it. Unless someone is chasing you, why run that far?
LOL! That is so funny because I always think the same thing–the only reasons for running are because you are being chased or fleeing a fire!
You are right anyone can do a marathon or triathlon. That is why it appeals to some. Setting a goal and achieving it. I played football, hockey and lacrosse while in school. I am not sure it took any more skill as it did practice, which is what training for an endurance sport is.
Ive done marathons(dont enjoy the training or the race) and probably 70 triathlons, including a couple ironmans. No one where I work knows anything about it. I dread as much as you do when someone comes up to me and starts telling me their training schedule…Just as I dread the smack talk about the big b ball game at the Y or how they crushed the ball at their softball game the night before….someone bragging about their acomplishments, whatever it might be is, I would guess a sign of insecurity…getting all worked up about them is probably a sign of even more insecurity.
Yeah, that’s it. Just stick to what the average over-weight American knows- KFC Lunch Bowls and Guitar Hero. I’m sure you’ll have a nice long life of 62 years when your arteries scream out to you and say “WTF??!!”.
What about dog fighting? Does that make you sick?
“Beat up people?” That’s a lot of hate. What’s wrong, little buckaroo? Did your life go to hell in a handbag once high school was over? Playing second string on special teams for the varsity football team will do that to a person. Just never got that “big scholarship offer, eh?
I love being told by a bunch of lazy fat fuckers how ridiculous running is. Why don’t you pick your ass up off the couch and go run for 2 or 3 hours and then talk to me. Until then, shut the fuck up.
Umm, I’ve seen plenty of African-Americans running when they are chased and they also have *their* hands up at the finish too. What’s that about. Oh, I guess it’s the cop yelling “Get your hands UP!”. This thread is so pathetic and filled with misinformation and Rush Limbaugh logic that I don’t feel the least bit out of line making an arsey racist comment. Everyone, get your hands out of the leftover TGI Friday potato skins or Little Caesar’s “Crazy Bread” and lose some fucking weight…
HA! I am a runner and this is so hilarious. Everybody needs to lighten up a bit and have a chuckle. Especially you runners, aren’t we all high on endorphins?
Or lack of oxygen. 🙂
*NOTE: I run marathons, too!*
Hey, just because I think running is for suckers doesn’t mean I’m some lazy couch potato. Get over yourself. And, you should watch your language. You just never know who might be reading this.
I see sense of humour is very rare here.
Chill people it is just for fun!
No one in their right mind would run 26 miles if there weren’t so much status attached to it.
I would imagine most people run marathons to achieve a feeling of accomplishment. Probably something you couldn’t get from watching “American Idol” or living vicariously through the athletes we see on T.V..
I am also Mexican. And I’m with you on the chorizo and eggs recovery meal!!! I just have to find a way to get it in my Bento Box for my next race.
Every post that refers to “sports in grade school” leads me to believe that the writer (of said post) still yearns for the glory days of high school football. I imagine Matt probably has a lot in common with Uncle Rico in Napolean Dynamite (“Man, if they’d a put me in in the 4th quarter, we’d a won state!”.
wow I like this web site who ever made this you got it right on target I ran a marathon I’m 15 any way I’d just do it to stay in shape. And all the black kids in my school just dust me when we run so any way I’d do the run and talk to people about xbox and usual kid stuff all the adults and the 40 year old runners would ever talk about was using wierd protein good that tasted like crap and wearing abnormally tight clothes I just ran in a t shirt and sweatpants some lady told me it wouldn’t work and she said I should wear something like her I beat her at least when people. Ask if I’m fast I just say I ran a marathon I know they don’t give a shit but it makes me feel good
Agree. Running is good for you, training to run a marathon is good for you, running a marathon is not good for you. And I say this as a runner who is reading this blog while hydrating for a 5k run and dreaming of being able to say I ran a marathon.
Oh, this is too funny, and dead on!
I’m training for one and yes I inflict the process on all my friends!
I do it so I don’t turn into a lard-ass, it gives me a goal, and yes, so I can say “I ran a marathon,” …lol
I’m training for my first marathon….I have new balance shoes….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thank you for reminding everyone that triathletes are definitely NOT in better shape than football or basketball players.
If triathlon was easy they’d call it football
i’d like to see a football or basketball player swim…at all. let alone bike and run right after.
A lot of the football players at my high school either sprinted or threw shot and disc for the track team… I ran cross country, and we became pretty good friends via track. With one football player, I made a bet; we would each have the other do the hardest workout for the opposite sport, and see who was more beat at the end of the day.
I suited up in oversized pads and got knocked around by the other football guys. I did pushups, crunches, and lifted weights (proportionate to my size vs. theirs). I did form drills. I ran routes. I pushed heavy objects on skids. At 5’11” and 135 lbs, I’m not a big guy… I was hurting by the end. My body had been wrecked by getting hit, and I was pretty tired too. I’m pretty sure that even if I was bigger, I’d get sick of that crap day in and day out pretty fast.
The football playing friend of mine was scheduled to run 4 miles in the morning to wake his body up. Then in the afternoon, he would run a 3 mile warmup, 1 mile as fast as possible (rest 5 minutes), 3 miles “comfortably hard,” (rest 5 minutes) then 1 mile as fast as possible, and then three miles warmdown. This would be followed by a weight lifting session of high reps and low weight. This is pretty standard as a “hard day” for a top high school runner training for 5k cross country running.
Me after his full regimen: holy shit you guys work hard.
Him 3 miles into the morning run: I quit.
I was surprised at the intensity of his workouts, and he couldn’t finish mine. Moral of the story, don’t bother comparing apples and oranges.
Why the hell are yall running.. thats what a Truck is for… so you dont have to run to the beer store, because by the time you get back you will be sober….
When did Jeff Foxworthy get on this blog?
seriously, white people love distance running. if you recall, the guy in Juno who knocks up Juno was a distance runner for the HS track team
re: marathons (addendum)
when a White woman meets the White man she will eventually marry, the woman will instantly take up long distance running and brag about it on Facebook (SWPL list)
So damn true – I have never run in my whole life except maybe to catch a train and since I met this guy I have gone and got the whole gear – super-luminous tights – asics trainers – the whole deal and have signed up for 5K and am making my fundraising page on Facebook – distressing to find oneself so predictable but I hope this is the man I will eventually marry 😉
What are you talking about? It’s not just white people.
Black people love to run marathons!!!!! How do you think we manage to win the running events in the Olympics every 4 years? Or how we have infiltrated every sport in the U.S.A. (except swimming, snowboarding, and hockey….but give it some time, trust me).
Actually I take that back, Black Men love to run marathons!
Black women do not because they might sweat and then the hair frizzes up, that is why most of the Black female athletes in the Olympics have braided hair to counter this problem.
you’re the biggest idiot ever. There isn’t a race that is specifically built for certain activities. STFU please you stupid white person.
This post is so true! My dad grew up in a very poor village outside the US, and no one there would ever even think of running ‘just because’ because they used all their calories on household tasks and walking everywhere. Now my dad is out of those mud schools and teaching at an american university. Now he runs everyday (which I admire),but a funny anecdote.. he visited his village a few months ago and was taking a morning jog and this old lady a few paces behind him told him completely seriously, not to run because she wasn’t going to hurt him. the lady was so concerned while my dad kept jogging in place lol
even though my dad isn’t white, i think marathons are a stereotypically ‘rich westerner’ thing to do because you do need extra food, extra time, and extra money for shoes and fees, which most of the world cannot afford. my immigrant mom doesn’t get it either…she told my dad she would take a stopwatch and time him while he ran around the block so he wouldn’t have to pay a $40 entry fee. btw my dad wears NB sneakers and raises his hands in the air..who says immigrants don’t assimilate? :))
haha that’s true…i tried to explain these fundraising things to my cousins abroad and they were like…”so all these people spend money buying gear, travelling to the marathons site, and paying admission fees to raise money? why don’t the people just give the amount of all those costs?” it was very hard to explain it to them
Black people run marathons, that does not mean they like them. they run marathons because they win them and in turn win money. I am sure that if a white person won a marathon that would be the worst thing possible for them.
[…] I’m kind of artsy from the stuffed monster beside them. For short jots, like grocery lists, marathon training schedule and what languages I really should learn, I used the thin green […]
Marathoners may live longer and healthier lives than the general population, but this is a chicken and egg statement. The type of people who generally do marathons are, as previous posters noted, more highly educated, of a higher socioeconomic class, and more health conscious. These characteristics all tend to lead to… longer and healthier lives.
For the record, I am not white. I am a half-marathoner (regular runner) and triathlete (the kind that wins medals, not that there’s anything wrong with those who don’t!). I am not against marathons as a form of exercise, if training is done properly.
lol! more and more kenyans own bikes these days…so the days of the white triathlete dominating might be numbered.
Black people don’t run in marathons? What? That makes no sense.
quiet emily
How is running a marathon a low power activity? Maybe if you’re just jogging or running slow on purpose, but I would hardly call a 5:20 mile for each of the 26 miles a low-power activity.
[…] you this, because it gives context for the rest of the blog, not because I’m trying to impress […]
[…] I discovered this gem when I was suffering from delusions of becoming a marathoner. (See Stuff White People Like #27) Our local NPR station plays it at 6 a.m. on Saturdays which is an ungodly hour, but hosts Jim […]
Also the Ironman – all the yuppie white folk I know pushing 40 are doing this. But good for them 🙂
[…] well established that White people enjoy running marathons. (Marathons are large milestones in White peoples’ lives). However, they are large events to […]
this running thing is a form of a mental disorder, many of them are deranged. what are they running from—it is synonomous with something amiss in their lives. It is a physical obsession for only themselves, benefits no one but themselves and it involves an OCD type of personality to get up at early and start running from what….. a bear, their lives, their jobs, what are they running from….reality….that life sucks!?!?! You also have those greedy baby boomers who do this when they are somewhat geriatric, and love to tell any dolt about their commitment and sacrifice with this mental disorder called running.
Actually, most people who run marathons belong to clubs, have great conversations while they run, socialize with other runners, and generally have a great time. One example http://twitpic.com/5d00b
haha, that’s funny man. we got white folk that run and run in the building, who knows the heck there doing and why there running. there up around 6 in the morning on a sat or sunday with those fancy kicks; , crazy shit.
all those whites, similar to those bicylists with all the do-ups and advertising and rear view mirrors and 4K bikes–haha, that is the whites. stupid, dopey, and have all the money for all the wrong things. those whites sure love bikes and running, what are they travelling so fast from
Weak. Obviously Africans like running marathons more… Running does give you energy though…
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
Hahah I agree…..
You are all mistaken. We run to try and get away from our white guilt. Fruitless, obviously, but we are so overwrought by it we will try almost anything.
ie They win every damn marathon
what are they running from; is it a form of a mental disorder/derrangment– like work addicts? 30-40-something’s trying to prove what….. that they are not office lackies, to combat office ass/spread, that they still gut it, inferiority complexes, keeping up with other saab driving yuppies? what are those white folk running from?
are they running away from their pathetic hum-drum boring lives, so they run to drown out their inner-voices of saddness, guilt, etc….
most likely a mental disorder.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money preparing to run in a marathon.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
Mexicans as well. But like Kenyans, they do it for the money and race to win. White people do it for the photo as they cross the finish line.
Not weak.
In connection they also like to post those stuipd round white stickers on the back of their cars to let you know just how far they can run.
“26.2”
or “13.1”
“S.B.R.” (Swim, Bike, Run)
They all look basically the same. I think anything under a 5k must not be acceptable because Ive never seen a sticker for “3.1”
3.1 miles = 5 kilometers
(a.k.a. a 5k)
Now, the Boston Marathon is different because it is the only one that you actually have to qualify for, so training for it is necessary. New York on the other hand, just requires a credit card or check.
One thing that White People don’t want you to know is that anyone can run a marathon. As long as you have a decent pair of sneakers and aren’t fat, you could run a marathon right now. All it is is a four or five hour commitment. White People don’t want anyone to know this, because they would no longer be able to gloat about how their training is going.
[…] along and trying to decide what my celebration move should be. I can’t do hands in the air, for this reason, so I might settle for some pointing and a round of high fives for anyone who’s up for […]
Uh… how about Health?!? Fitness? Well being? Energy? Meditation? Why is everyone hating on people who are actually taking care of themselves? Besides, running is like the cheapest form of exercise you can do– no gym, no expensive equipment… just shoes and pavement.
Have you actually run a marathon before? I agree that anyone is capable of running 26.2 miles but if you expect to just show up and run you’re in for a disappointment. You may be able to finish but most likely you are not going to finish in 4 or 5 hours.
LOL. Now that’s a sticker I’d actually put on my car.
How ironic because I think NOT running is for suckers. After reading all the posts, I’ve concluded that we, runners, are better than people who…well, don’t run. Suck it.
ROTFLMAO!! Too Funny!
That’s true! Less than .1% of American’s have actually completed a marathon. So the fact that this topic is even on “Stuff White People Like” seems a bit unconvincing.
You’re one of us!
I wore All Stars before they were popular. I, too, am cool
If running is associated with being a liberal than hell yea! I’m proud to be a liberal!! Dems = 60 Seats. Conservatives = Suck it.
That’s not true. I don’t run marathons for the medal. I run them because it makes me better than people who don’t.
How about earning your own money, then running a marathon? Its revolutionary, I know, but I think it might work…
Seriously this website is really accurate! I’m only 14 but I’ve been dreaming about running the Boston Marathon.
We also enjoy bragging by saying “I ran the whole thing without stopping!” or complaining to everyone else, who is getting fat, how sore they are for working out.
[…] The runners are out there, too, and some of them are slipping into fall fashion. Most of the men are still wearing shorts and tee shirts; some of the women are pulling on longer leggings or wearing tech jackets. Most of the runners are white. Running really is an item of stuff that white people like. […]
what are you white people running from? your mundane, humdrum lives, your boring office work, your spouse, your bratty kids, what exactly are you guys running from?
LOL I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and I must admit it’s just as funny!!
What are we running from? The other 60% of Americans who are morbidly obese and having trouble walking up the stairs to their mundane office.
Africans do dominate the marathon these days, but it’s hardly true that “black people … manage to wine the running events in the Olympics every 4 years.” In fact, only 2 of that past 10 Olympic men’s marathon gold medal winners was black.
I’m sad to say, I’m white and I’ve run a marathon. It was the worst idea of my life.
Running is awful. Just stop.
the allure of marathons for Whitey : much like the Special Olympics, EVERYONE who finishes the race, no matter how long it takes, gets to take home a medal. Whitey then gets to put the medal up on his mantle. Cool !!!!
So to piggyback off this, can we say that white women love
Nike Women’s Tempo Track shorts as well as the Livestrong version? They’re covering white women joggers everywhere!
Go Chad!
~We’re also running from our mundane, humdrum lives, our boring office work, our spouses, our bratty kids, but mostly from all of the morbidly obese americans that can’t run anywhere to save their lives, unless its to the fridge! get off the couch and try a 5k.. it wont kill ya…
Everyone likes running. Feelings of personal accomplishment, no matter how trivial they seem to others, aren’t limited to the white elite.
Pretty sure I’ve seen those Tempo Track Shorts on more than Jack and Jill.
ok .. im black/african american female and i have done 8 marathons (nike womens this past weekend-10.18)… so there are somethings i will say i participate with yall on !(lol)
People are taking this website way too seriously. I’m a white male. I can’t tell you how many times this website has made my side hurt from laughing. Learn to appreciate humor, people.
I was a bystander at the Richmond (VA) marathon today. Over 15,000 racers participated in 3 races – 8 K, 13.1 mi and 26.2 mi. I can honestly say I saw about 2-3 thousand runners go by, and counted a total of 7 black people. This, in a very black, southern city.
So I think the real question is not why white people like marathons, but why do black people NOT like them?
i love how white people who run long distance feel like theyre on some raw shit and it makes them feel superior. and yet they are so slow at sprinting because they worry about how far they have to run to impress friends rather than how fast they actually run
I know 3 white guys just like this so I agree, but why did you leave off the real reason the Kenyans don’t do triathlons- we all know its not about the bike…. h20
I always figured it was because there was nothing on tv at there house.
Maynardo clearly doesn’t get it.
a) the “REALLY good marathon runners” aren’t flimsy. To run a sub-2:10 marathon you have to be in insane shape all around. Here’s the guy who just won the recent NY marathon: http://runmeb.com/multimedia/news_images/Keflezighiwithbothflags.jpg Flimsy? I’d say not.
b) The reason people have a lot of those health issues is not because of the marathon persay, but because they’re out of shape. Comparing a 3+ hour marathoner to a well trained, well prepared elite is nonsense.
That said, marathons (more specifically “Team in Training”) should definitely be on this site, and it was a funny read.
ive been noticing 26.2 oval bumperstickers (like those obx ones a few years back that suddenly every locality had) i go to google and there it is – marathons!
i finished the audiobook last week and i cant go anywhere without all roads leading back to SWPL.
[…] Smith’s Feat Warrants Investigation Yet, the extraordinary Winston Smith somehow avoided injuries, survived training and astonishingly escaped the 2009 New York City Marathon with his life. Were other runners as mysteriously fortunate? How many died in their quest to scratch an item off of the definitive bourgeoisie bucket list? […]
I’m Kenyan (yes, we have internet connections in Kenya!) and this is funny.. I gotta admit.. I just really hope no one is takin white guy’s comment seriously seein as u all are that ignorant…
& the bikes dont cost $10000… lol
and they would still buy it because Kenyan athletes rake in the millions, in dollars
[…] Stuff White People Like “In Europe, pretty girls on retro bikes with wicker baskets ride, carefree, to work everyday. […]
Call me white, but running a long way for a long time actually does make you feel great. It sucks balls getting yourself to the point where you can do it, but once you get there it’s pretty sweet.
But that was 5 years ago. Now I’m fat and lazy again.
[…] Like always reminds me that no matter how hard I try, I will never, ever be a cool kid. Between running marathons and studying abroad in Africa, I’m just not all that original, I guess. Seems like everyone […]
[…] Marathons (done, in 5 hrs) […]
I literally never get sick of this web site!
Here’s another good one: http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
This is you!
I too feel the sting of sameness…but I like to think of it as “I am a cool kid, just like everyone else”
It makes me feel better about my self.
whiteys run for fun? i gotta run from the popo. shit aint right. obamas going change shit around.
[…] March 5, 2010 · Leave a Comment I love the site Stuff White People Like – it’s absolutely hilarious. One of my best friends and teammates from college sent this to me this afternoon and it made me smile! I’m sure I must have read it at some point before, but it cracked me up (https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/26/27-marathons/) […]
Situations where I will run
1) When I’m being shot at
2) When I’m being chased by a large animal
3) I’m late for something
4) Somoene is giving away free cash
Fun is not a reason to run there are much more worthwhile things to do with your time
I only run because of the way it energizes my knees. My knees feel a sensation I can only describe as ‘hot red’ after a good long jog. I know it’s a good run when I can barely bend my legs and my knee joints are swollen for several days . No pain no gain!
THE ULTIMATE WAY TO WORK FROM HOME
THE BEST MONEY MAKING SYSTEM OF ALL!!
AS SEEN ON NATIONAL TV
As seen on 20/20 and many other credible references. This is NOT a scam.
I hope this is ok that I send you this. If you aren’t interested, just
simply delete it.
READ THIS MESSAGE if you are like me and want more than your lousy
weekly paycheck. Make more in a few months than last year at work.
Believe it, work it.
This really works, don’t make the same mistake I made. I deleted this
4-5 times before finally giving it a try. Within 2 weeks the orders
(money)
started coming in just like the plan below said it would. Give it a
try!!
You will be glad you did.
Thanks and Good Luck! You won’t need luck, just keep reading. Don’t
delete this!!!
——————————————————
First read about how a 15 year old made $71,000. See below….
AS SEEN ON NATIONAL TV: This is the media report.
PARENTS OF 15 – YEAR OLD – FIND $71,000 CASH HIDDEN
IN HIS CLOSET!
Does this headline look familiar? Of course it does.
You most likely have just seen this story recently
featured on a major nightly news program (USA).
And reported elsewhere in the world (including my neck
of the woods – New Zealand). His mother was cleaning
and putting laundry away when she came across a large
brown paper bag that was suspiciously buried beneath
some clothes and a skateboard in the back of her
15-year-old sons closet.
Nothing could have prepared her for the shock she got
when she opened the bag and found it was full of cash.
Five-dollar bills, twenties, fifties and hundreds –
all neatly rubber-banded in labeled piles.
“My first thought was that he had robbed a bank”,
says the 41-year-old woman, “There was over $71,000
dollars in that bag — that’s more than my husband
earns in a year”.
The woman immediately called her husband at the
car-dealership where he worked to tell him what she
had discovered. He came home right away and they
drove together to the boys school and picked him up.
Little did they suspect that where the money came from
was more shocking than actually finding it in
the closet.
As it turns out, the boy had been sending out, via
E-mail, a type of “Report” to E-mail addresses that he
obtained off the Internet. Everyday after school for
the past 2 months, he had been doing this right on his
computer in his bedroom.
“I just got the E-mail one day and I figured what the
heck, I put my name on it like the instructions said
and I started sending it out”, says the clever
15-year-old.
The E-mail letter listed 5 addresses and contained
instructions to send one $5 dollar bill to each person
on the list, then delete the address at the top and
move the others addresses down, and finally to add
your name to the top of the list.
The letter goes on to state that you would receive
several thousand dollars in five-dollar bills within 2
weeks if you sent out the letter with your
name at the top of the 5-address list. “I get junk
E-mail all the time, and really did not think it was
going to work”, the boy continues.
Within the first few days of sending out the E-mail,
the Post Office Box that his parents had gotten him
for his video-game magazine subscriptions began to
fill up with not magazines, but envelopes containing
$5 bills.
“About a week later I rode [my bike] down to the post
office and my box had 1 magazine and about 300
envelops stuffed in it. There was also a yellow slip
that said I had to go up to the [post office] counter.
I thought I was in trouble or something (laughs)”. He
goes on, “I went up to the counter and they had a
whole box of more mail for me. I had to ride back
home and empty out my backpack because I could not
carry it all”.
Over the next few weeks, the boy continued sending
out the E-mail. “The money just kept coming in and I
just kept sorting it and stashing it in the closet,
barely had time for my homework”. He had also
been riding his bike to several of the banks in his
area and exchanging the $5 bills for twenties, fifties
and hundreds.
“I didn’t want the banks to get suspicious so I kept
riding to different banks with like five thousand at a
time in my backpack. I would usually tell the lady at
the bank counter that my dad had sent me in to
exchange the money and he was outside waiting for me.
One time the lady gave me a really strange look and
told me that she would not be able to do it for me and
my dad would have to come in and do it, but I just
rode to the next bank down the street (laughs).”
Surprisingly, the boy did not have any reason to be
afraid. The reporting news team examined and
investigated the so-called “chain-letter” the boy was
sending out and found that it was not a chain-letter
at all. In fact, it was completely legal according to
US Postal and Lottery Laws, Title 18, Section 1302 and
1341, or Title 18, Section 3005 in the US code, also
in the code of federal regulations, Volume 16,
Sections 255 and 436, which state a product or service
must be exchanged for money received.
Every five-dollar bill that he received contained a
little note that read, “Please send me report number
XYX”.This simple note made the letter legal because he
was exchanging a service (A Report on how-to) for a
five-dollar fee.
[This is the end of the media release. If you would
like to understand how the system works and get your
$71,000 – please continue reading. What appears below
is what the 15 year old was sending out on the net –
YOU CAN USE IT TOO – just follow the simple
instructions].
THANKS TO THE COMPUTER AGE AND THE INTERNET !
==================================================
You will Make over half million dollars every 4 to 5 months from your
home!!
Before you say ”Bull”, please read the following. This is the
letter you have been hearing about on the news lately. Due to the
popularity of this letter on the Internet, a national weekly news
program
recently devoted an entire show to the investigation of this program
described below, to see if it really can make people money. The show
also
investigated whether or not the program was legal.
Their findings proved once and for all that there are ”absolutely NO
Laws prohibiting the participation in the program and if people can -follow
the simple instructions, they are bound to make some mega bucks with only
$25 out of pocket cost”.
DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY & RESPECT THIS PROGRAM HAS
ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER THAN EVER.
This is what one had to say: ” Thanks to this profitable opportunity.
I was approached many times before but each time I passed on it. I am so
glad I finally joined just to see what one could expect in return for
the minimal effort and money required. To my astonishment, I received
total
$610,470.00 in 21 weeks, with money still coming in”.
Pam Hedland, Fort Lee, New Jersey.
================================================================Here is
another testimonial: ”’ this program has been around for a
long time but I never believed in it. But one day when I received this
again in the mail I decided to gamble my $25 on it. I followed the
simple instructions and wallaa ….. 3 weeks later the money started to
come
in. First month I only made $240.00 but the next 2 months after that
made a total of $290,000.00. So far, in the past 8 months by re-entering
the
program, I have made over $710,000.00 and I am playing it again. The
key to success in this program is to follow the simple steps and NOT change
anything.” More testimonials later but first:
===== PRINT THIS NOW FOR YOUR FUTURE REFERENCE ========
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
If you would like to make at least $500,000 every 4 to 5 months easily
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
FOLLOW THE SIMPLE INSTRUCTION BELOW AND YOUR FINANCIAL DREAMS WILL COME
TRUE, GUARANTEED!
INSTRUCTIONS:
================Order all 5 reports shown on the list below
=================
For each report, send $5 CASH, THE NAME & NUMBER OF THE REPORT
YOU ARE ORDERING and YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS to the person whose
name appears ON THAT LIST next to the report. MAKE SURE YOUR RETURN
ADDRESS IS ON YOUR ENVELOPE TOP LEFT CORNER in case of any mail
problems.
=== When you place your order, make sure you order each of the 5
reports.
You will need all 5 reports so that you can save them on your computer
and resell them. YOUR TOTAL COST $5 X 5=$25.00.
Within a few days you will receive, via e-mail, each of the 5 reports
from these 5 different individuals. Save them on your computer so they will
be accessible for you to send to the 1,000’s of people who will order them
from you. Also make a floppy of these reports and keep it on your desk
in case something happens to your computer.
IMPORTANT – DO NOT alter the names of the people who are listed
next to each report, or their sequence on the list, in any way other
than what is instructed below in step ” 1 through 6 ” or you will
loose out on majority of your profits. Once you understand the way this
works, you will also see how it does not work if you change it. Remember,
this
method has been tested, and if you alter, it will NOT work !!! People
have tried to put their friends/relatives names on all five thinking they
could get all the money. But it does not work this way. Believe us, we all
have tried to be greedy and then nothing happened. So Do Not try to change
anything other than what is instructed. Because if you do, it will not
work for you.
Remember, honesty reaps the reward!!!
1…. After you have ordered all 5 reports, take this advertisement
and REMOVE the name & address of the person in REPORT #5.
This person has made it through the cycle and is no doubt counting
their fortune.
2…. Move the name & address in REPORT # 4 down TO REPORT # 5.
3…. Move the name & address in REPORT # 3 down TO REPORT # 4.
4…. Move the name & address in REPORT # 2 down TO REPORT # 3.
5…. Move the name & address in REPORT # 1 down TO REPORT # 2
6…. Insert YOUR name & address in the REPORT # 1 Position.
PLEASE MAKE SURE you copy every name & address ACCURATELY!
================================================================
**** Take this entire letter, with the modified list of names, and save it
on your computer. DO NOT MAKE ANY OTHER CHANGES.
Save this on a disk as well just in case you loose any data. To assist
you with marketing your business on the internet, the 5 reports you
purchase will provide you with invaluable marketing information which
includes how to send bulk e-mails legally, where to find thousands of
free
classified ads and much more. There are 2 Primary methods to get this
venture going:
METHOD # 1: BY SENDING BULK E-MAIL LEGALLY
================================================================
Let’s say that you decide to start small, just to see how it goes, and
we will assume You and those involved send out only 5,000 e-mails each.
Let’s also assume that the mailing receive only a 0.2% response (the
response
could be much better but lets just say it is only 0.2%. Also many
people will send out hundreds of thousands e-mails instead of only 5,000
each).Continuing with this example, you send out only 5,000 e-mails.
With a 0.2% response, that is only 10 orders for report # 1
Those 10 people responded by sending out 5,000 e-mail each for a total
of 50,000.
Out of those 50,000 e-mails only 0.2% responded with orders. That’s=100
people responded and ordered Report # 2.
Those 100 people mail out 5,000 e-mails each for a total of 500,000
e-mails. The 0.2% response to that is 1000 orders for Report # 3.
Those 1000 people send out 5,000 e-mails each for a total of 5
million e-mails sent out. The 0.2% response to that is 10,000 orders
for Report! # 4. Whose 10,000 people send out 5,000 e-mails each for a
total of
50,000,000 (50 million) e-mails. The 0.2% response to that is 100,000
orders for
Report # 5 THAT’S 100,000 ORDERS TIMES $5 EACH=$500,000.00 (half
million).
Your total income in this example is: 1….. $50 + 2….. $500
+ 3…..$5,000 + 4….. $50,000 + 5….. $500,000 …….. Grand
Total=$555,550.00
NUMBERS DO NOT LIE. GET A PENCIL & PAPER AND FIGURE OUT THE
WORST POSSIBLERESPONSES AND NO MATTER HOW YOU CALCULATE IT, YOU WILL STILL
MAKE A LOT OF MONEY !
================================================================
REMEMBER FRIEND, THIS IS ASSUMING ONLY 10 PEOPLE ORDERING OUT
OF 5,000 YOU MAILED TO. Dare to think for a moment what would happen if
everyone or half or even one 4th of those people mailed 100,000e-mails
each or more? There are over 150 million people on the Internet worldwide
and counting. Believe me, many people will do just that, and more!
METHOD # 2 : BY PLACING FREE ADS ON THE INTERNET
================================================================
Advertising on the net is very very inexpensive and there are
hundreds of FREE places to advertise. Placing a lot of free ads on the
Internet will easily get a larger response. We strongly suggest you
start with Method # 1and add METHOD # 2 as you go along. For every $5 you
receive, all you must do is e-mail them the Report they ordered. That’s
it. Always provide
same day service on all orders.
This will guarantee that the e-mail they send out, with your
name and address on it, will be prompt because they can not advertise
until they receive the report.
===================AVAILABLE REPORTS ==========================
ORDER EACH REPORT BY ITS NUMBER & NAME ONLY. Notes: Always send
$5 cash (U.S. CURRENCY) for each Report. Checks NOT accepted. Make sure
the cash is concealed by wrapping it in at least 2 sheets of paper. On
one of those sheets of paper, Write the NUMBER & the NAME of the Report you
are ordering,
YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS and your name and postal address.
PLACE YOUR ORDER FOR THESE REPORTS NOW :
================================================================
REPORT #1 “The Insider’s Guide to Advertising for Free on the Net”
Order Report #1 from:
Jessica Barber
P.O. Box 3125
UC Tx, 78148
USA
______________________________________________________________________
REPORT #2 “‘The insider’s Guide to Sending Bulk e-mail on the Net’
Order Report #2 from:
P. Clement
601 St-Malo Est
Ile Bizard, Quebec H9C2P2
CANADA
______________________________________________________________________
REPORT #3 “‘Secret to Multilevel Marketing on the Net”
Order Report #3 from :
David Carpenter
13 Dutch lane
Hazlet, New Jersey 07732
USA
______________________________________________________________________
REPORT #4 “‘How to become a Millionaire Utilizing MLM and the Net”
Order Report #4 from:
S. Lasley
4230 Edgewood Circle
Idaho Falls, Idaho 83406
USA
______________________________________________________________________
REPORT #5 “‘How to send out one Million e-mails for FREE”
Order Report #5 from:
Robert F. Allison
131 East 217th St
Euclid, OH 44123
_____________________________________________________________________
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ YOUR SUCCESS GUIDELINES $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Follow these guidelines to guarantee your success:
=== If you do not receive at least 10 orders for Report #1 within 2
weeks, continue sending e-mails until you do.
=== After you have received 10 orders, 2 to 3 weeks after that you
should receive 100 orders or more for REPORT # 2. If you did not, continue
advertising or sending e-mails until you do.
=== Once you have received 100 or more orders for Report # 2, YOU CAN
RELAX, because the system is already working for you, and the cash will
continue to roll in ! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: Every time your name
is moved down on the list, you are placed in front of a Different report.
You can KEEP TRACK of your PROGRESS by watching which report
people are ordering from you. IF YOU WANT TO GENERATE MORE INCOME SEND
ANOTHER BATCH OF E-MAILS AND START THE WHOLE PROCESS AGAIN. There is NO
LIMIT to the income you can generate from this business !!!
================================================================
FOLLOWING IS A NOTE FROM THE ORIGINATOR OF THIS PROGRAM:
You have just received information that can give you financial freedom
for the rest of your life, with NO RISK and JUST A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT.
You can make more money in the next few weeks and months than you have
ever imagined. Follow the program EXACTLY AS INSTRUCTED. Do Not change it
in
any way. It works exceedingly well as it is now.
Remember to e-mail a copy of this exciting report after you have put
your name and address in Report #1 and moved others to #2 ………..# 5
as
instructed above. One of the people you send this to may send out
100,000 or more e-mails and your name will be on every one of them.
Remember
though, the more you send out the more potential customers! you will
reach. So
my friend, I have given you the ideas, information, materials and
opportunity to become financially independent. IT IS UP TO YOU NOW !
====================== MORE TESTIMONIALS======================
” My name is Mitchell. My wife, Jody and I live in Chicago. I am an
accountant with a major U.S. Corporation and I make pretty good
money. When I received this program I grumbled to Jody about receiving
”junk mail”. I made fun of the whole thing, spouting my knowledge of
the population and percentages involved. I ”knew” it wouldn’t work. Jody
totally ignored my supposed intelligence and few days later she jumped in
with
both feet. I made merciless fun of her, and was ready to lay the old
”I told you so” on her when the thing didn’t work. Well, the laugh was
on me!
Within 3 weeks she had received 50 responses. Within the next 45 days she
had
received total $ 147,200.00 ……….. all cash! I was shocked. ! I have
joined
Jody in her ”hobby”.
Mitchell Wolf M.D., Chicago, Illinois
================================================================ ” Not
being the gambling type, it took me several weeks to make up my
mind to participate in this plan. But conservative that I am, I decided
that the initial investment was so little that there was just no way that
I
wouldn’t get enough orders to at least get my money back”. ” I was
surprised
when I found my medium size post office box crammed with orders. I made
$319,210.00 in the first 12 weeks. The nice thing about this deal is
that it does not matter where people live. There simply isn’t a better
investment
with a faster return and so big”.
Dan Sondstrom, Alberta, Canada
================================================================ ” I had
received this program before. I deleted it, but later I
wondered if I should have given it a try. Of course, I had no idea who
to contact ! to get another copy, so I had to wait until I was e-mailed
again by someone else………11 months passed then it luckily came
again…..I did not delete this one! I made more than $490,000 on my
first try and all the money came within 22 weeks”.
Susan De Suza, New York, N.Y.
===============================================================
” It really is a great opportunity to make relatively easy money with
little cost to you. I followed the simple instructions carefully and
within 10 days the money started to come in. My first month I made
$20,560.00 and by the end of third month my total cash count was $
362,840.00. Life is beautiful, Thanx to internet”.
Fred Dellaca, Westport, New Zealand
================================================================ORDER
YOUR REPORTS TODAY AND GET STARTED ON YOUR ROAD TO
FINANCIAL FREEDOM !
================================================================
If you have any questions of the legality of this program, contact the
Office of Associate Director for Marketing Practices, Federal Trade
Commission, Bureau of Consumer Protection, Washington, D.C.
================================================================
THERE IS NO NEED TO RESPOND TO THIS E-MAIL IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO RECEIVE
FURTHER CORRESPONDENCE. THIS IS A ONETIME E-MAIL.
GOOD LUCK!
Cool story bro.
Oh, and btw, you’re doing it WRONG
amen brother
Hmm….sure I would be proud to run a marathon–the distance is quite challenging, and anyone that has run/walked/crawled it has the right to raise their hands up in the air. It is not something most human beings today can do. So if most of the folks that strive to be fit are white it is funny? Wow:) I would venture into the dark and say that I would like to have a person that has run a marathon into my team at work. It is something that most humans today–the McDonalds eating kind cannot do for the life of them. And to complete a marathon takes CHARACTER, self-discipline and the ability to do research, construct a regimen and stick with it–if a person can do that, they are more likely to be succesful as my employees, so I guess I like whites.
For the record, I am a white guy, that has NOT run a marathon. My max has always been the 10K with full kit in the army, and the looooong marches, but one day I will probably run a marathon. And as I have a hiring power in my company, I will hire any no-name guy, no matter what race, that can prove completion of a marathon instead of the pale white hippie with love handles and wimpy muscles that has started this blog:)
[…] I was reading Stuff White People like because it’s hilarious and I found one that is “Why White People like Marathons.” Um. Best article ever. If only I could write like […]
[…] to prove to myself that I can do this and for the sense of accomplishment that will come with it. Maybe it’s cliché, but it works for […]
Okay, I feel a little bit whiter now. I’m black and I want to eventually run a marathon. It is kinda’ fun to have that kind of bragging rights, loosing weight and the occasional toenail. But for most everything else on the list, besides grammar, tea, and sushi, I retain my blackness.
Funny blog though. I cracked up reading this.
I ran New York, chicago, Berlin, etc.. This post is just Brilliant!!!
…white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford $10,000 specialty bicycles.
Hahahaha! All of this is so true! All of my friends think I am crazy with my incessant talk of my training plans and early morning workouts!
Now, not all white people can afford $10,000 specialty bikes…some of us can only spend $1,500! LOL
A good friend said this, “Just because I’m white and just turned 30 does NOT mean I’m going to start eating sushi and running marathons.”
Think for a second….how many people do you know recently turned 30, swear by California rolls (organic California rolls) and are training for the Chicago Marathon??
hilarious, and true. we love running marathons. we love talking about it too. 🙂
#135: calling things “brilliant”
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hilarious entry, this is dead on – I’m 31 and just did my first marathon (SF) this year, and this post basically described me, haha
[…] of athletes into USTA a real interest or just a fad? Is triathlon the new marathon? or Yoga? Or it just something white people like to do? Listen, the social sphere is part of the sport, and that’s a good thing. But it becomes a problem […]
Haha…well, there were 45,000 entrants for the Chicago Marathon. It’s freaking huge.
Are you kidding me? You’ve really missed the white person boat by limiting yourself to marathons here. The very best type of running activity for a white person is the charity run, or “fun run.”
A charity run provides white people a multitude of opportunities to express the things that prove their superiority. The first of course being that they have more money than you, and so, they won’t mind paying a minimum $20 “donation”/registration fee in order to put on a number and run on otherwise public and free to run on streets.
The second thing white people like about charity runs is that it gives the white person an opportunity to feel that they are helping raise awareness about an important white person cause; both because they paid an entrance fee that ostensibly goes to support the cause in question but also because any charity run worth doing will come with an associated tee that the white person can wear later to raise even more awareness. (Important note: the charity run tee should only ever be worn to the gym and absolutely to future charity runs so white people know you care enough to participate in lots of these events)
The most popular type of charity run is the 5k. Since it is very nearly the same distance white people could call this type of event a 3 mile run but using the metric system allows white people to feel like they are jogging extra far, and helps keep the wrong kind of white people out of these events. Running a 5k makes the white person a “real” runner so they feel extra justified in spending all that money on their latest pair of New Balances. Plus, since you have to run for charity no matter the weather the white person can stock up on outdoor performance wear for all seasons.
There are of course longer and shorter types of charity runs, and the white person is always training for a longer and longer charity run that will eventually lead up to a marathon.
If you want to take advantage of this you might say something like “Hey are you guys jogging in that 5k to raise awareness for middle school bullying this weekend?”
Uhhhh..(White person frantically trying to remember their schedule so they can partake)
“Yeah, I heard it might rain but I just got a new ultralight moisture wicking baselayer tee from REI so I’m not worried. I figure I can count this towards my training hours for (insert marathon or other type of longer charity run here) but since its only a 5k we’ll definitely have time to go out to breakfast afterward.”
All you have to do now is not jog faster than your white friend and you are so in.
[…] lives up to its namesake with chapters dedicated to all of the things white people like including marathons, bicycles, arts degrees and hating corporations (I took the liberty of linking each of those […]
LOL I saw this blog on http://www.DanielDickey.com (The MTV VJ) and must admit, it’s super funny as well.
Lol. This is so true. I’m white, and all my cousins and their husbands are “marathon runners”, and their way out of shape, but they love bragging about how they run marathons. I can’t stand marathons or pretentiousness, but you have a really good point about another dumb thing (many) white people like. I’m just glad I’m not one of those puffed up pretentious bastards, and I don’t own my own house and have a six figure income, or bratty kids. I also don’t have a rich dad who spoils me rotten like they.
It’s “they’re” …see #99
This comment shows there is at least one white person who doesn’t like proper grammar.
i HOPE you’re being sarcastic. that’s HORRIBLE for you!!! you should not be swollen after running! no pain, no gain is a sure-fire way to get hurt, and if you’re not kidding, you seriously need to see a sports medicine doc PRONTO. sorry to keep yelling, but you’re setting yourself up for an irreversible injury, if you’re not already seriously and irrevocably injured.
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
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//Also worth nothing, more competitive white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford $10,000 specialty bicycles. //
Ha! Can’t they get someone to sponsor them?
(Am scrolling up looking for “surfing” – although I know this is shared with API ppl)
[…] ex-expat, Run >Yes it is a wanky white person thing to do but I have just started training for Auckland’s half […]
[…] have created whole movements trying to answer this question (see Stuff White People Like #15, 27, 128). Am I cool enough to do this? Probably not. But I’ll try to go running once a week. I […]
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[…] few things on the list I had absolutely NO interest in – Asian girls, the idea of Soccer, and MARATHONS. However, what I have come to realize is that Lander’s theories on white culture are […]
One day soon your heart will stop in mid stride old man.However youll gain entry into that select club of white people people who “died doing what they loved”.Good luck with that.However im more than sure youll amaze us with your tales or personal triumph until it happens.
most are middle aged single types/spinsters/40-50 year old single men who need something to occupy their time.
many are corporate hamster wheeling/mundane life types that need something to do on weekends.
enjoy bone surgery after doing all that damage to your joints to prove what-?????
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[…] @lackofcents Stuff White People Like: Marathons: https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/26/27-marathons/ […]
I don’t think that the marathon runners understand what’s being said (go figure). They want to assume that those who choose not to run marathons are fat and lazy people. I run a half marathon every other week, but I do it on a trail near where I live. The reason why marathons are retarded is that:
A. You are paying to do something that is an innate human ability. We all can run. I see overweight people on The Biggest Loser who have the ability to run marathons. It’s mainly mental, and definitely something that shouldnt cost anything.
B. For some reason marathon runners don’t get enough personal satisfaction by simply running down the street by themselves. There literally should be zero difference between running 26.2 miles on a trail with a couple of friends and running with a thousand other people who take “running” a little too seriously. Marathon runners need the sense of public pride that they achieved something. They need a medal, a pat on the back and a time sheet to see what percentile they finished in. Then they need to tell everyone on facebook how they did, when the majority of people could not care less.
C. Personal fitness is just that…personal. Marathons should only take place for cash prizes, and only people who are able to run them in qualifying time should be able to compete. Otherwise, why not take your timer and try to beat your average person goals on your own without trying to get attention for running…which again, is just moving your legs quickly. Marathon runners can’t be proud of their fitness achievements without making them public. They need positive reinforcement for their ability to run a long way. Awesome.
D. Marathons block roads for people who actually have places to go. I didn’t pay tax dollars to have nicely paved roads for your to run on. Go run on the sidewalk.
[…] Filtering mechanisms aside, running marathons has become a staple part of the global white middle-class self-fulfillment repertoire. The fastest runners are from Kenya and the rest reside in altogether different socio-demographic categories. Marathons are indeed made of the stuff white people like. […]
“B. For some reason marathon runners don’t get enough personal satisfaction by simply running down the street by themselves. There literally should be zero difference between running 26.2 miles on a trail with a couple of friends and running with a thousand other people who take “running” a little too seriously. Marathon runners need the sense of public pride that they achieved something. They need a medal, a pat on the back and a time sheet to see what percentile they finished in. Then they need to tell everyone on facebook how they did, when the majority of people could not care less.”
I don’t agree with this. For some runners, maybe, but not for me or for most people I know.
A race because I find that I can push myself farther in races than I can running casually. Even when you feel like you’re pushing it in training, there’s always a bit more. A big part of running for me is seeing how far it is possible to push yourself before you have to quit.
I enjoy the atmosphere. If you’ve ever seen the first finishers handing out water, cheering for the other teams even when the schools are rivals, congratulating the people who beat them and the people who finished slowly afterwards- I think it’s worth 20 bucks.
I run/race everything from the 1600 to the half marathon. Few of my friends even know I do halves, and the only reason they know I do 1600-5k is because I run them for my school. The only time it comes up with my family is when I happen to be running at the same time as them or when they ask about how everyone’s sports are going. I run because I like it, not for approval.
Running is a very inclusive group, though welcoming from my experience. But we don’t do that because we think we’re better than everyone else, it just ends up like that because most people don’t even understand WHY someone would ever want to run 50 miles or push themselves to the point of puking.
Here’s some useful tips I learned along the way from black runners:
(1) Stop bouncing up and down when you run this is not your high school prom and you’re not using energy efficiently;
(2) stay off the concrete – leave that to the white people that like to drop lots of money at their chiropractors, physical therapists, arthroscopic surgeons so they can have something else to talk about;
(3) White people, if you are gentryfying a black neighborhood, DON’T RUN. That sets off mass panic that something is about to go down. Seriously, people will get upset with you. If you must run, try to do it in the morning when not so many people are up to see you. Make sure your ass is covered up too – at least until you make it out of your neighborhood;
(4) The whole paying money to run races where what you get for it is a bagel and a cup of water is something only a white person could do and not feel like they’d been had. You don’t have to buy into the race thing – do it for the love
Who gives a f** I am bored by marathon running and those who do it. I have no idea why white people think its special to pay to do something that is painful and for which you get nothing in return except bragging rights. Stupid.
You are commenting about something you obviously have never done, so who are you to judge it? These people train hard, and are in top physical condition, where you are probably out of shape and lazy.
I personally give the runners kudos. Often they are running to raise funds for worthwhile charities to save peoples lives. You need to get a life, instead of running your mouth, maybe try running a marathon to help someone else besides your own bored ass!
I’m a white person who does marathons. I have many finishing photos with my arms raised above my head in triumph but have fallen inadequately short on my choice of running shoes it seems. Off to buy a pair of sweet New Balance sneakers now. Thanks for the heads up before I make this amateur mistake again.
Oh dear. 😦 Read until the bottom.
Teresa, you don’t get the whole point of this website, do you? Best you stick to going out to breakfast with your friends and raising money for African orphans.
Whats with the rage? Chill out homie.
I find it interesting that the only worthwhile achievement, and apparently the only challenge in these folks’ pain-free existence, is running a marathon. If this is what it takes for you to feel alive, you have been dead already for quite some time.
I find much more admirable folks who make consistent and ongoing efforts in improving themselves and their world.
I am ashamed to be white.
That’s very white of you.
Teresa: https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/28/101-being-offended/
[…] Running a marathon seems like a way of signaling Conscientiousness, like getting a degree from an Iv… Best Of: […]
What is wrong with some people? This is humor, not a serious jab at what some people do.
Some are as described but the author jokes about a certain mindset.
Not about marathoners in general…
[…] And that got me to thinking, why do people, who clearly know they have no chance in winning any prize money, pay to run 26.2 miles? I’m not sure I will know the answer to that because everyone is different, but it makes the list of Stuff White People Like to Do at #27: “White people will train for months, telling everyone who will listen about how they get up ea… […]
I am going to take a guess that you never have run in a race :0)
They ROCK and this comes from someone who is turtle slow! The support you get from the fast runners is amazing! The encouragement……wow. The motivation to do it again and be a little fast……yep! That’s why I do it!
[…] friends for about 10 seconds before I remembered I don’t like to run, think this blog “Stuff White People Like #27 Marathons” is super funny and dated 3 of the people going. […]
[…] Community, and Sisterhood (Part 1) March 16, 2012 By David J. Leonard On the website “Stuff White People Like,” is marathons are listed as #27. It describes running a marathon in the following way: To a […]
[…] the website “Stuff White People Like,” marathons are listed as #27. It describes running a marathon in the following way: To a white […]
[…] who pursue other interests”. I mean, “marathons” did make it on the list of Stuff White People Like. Photo Credit: […]
i am a white person, and even i am baffled by this ridiculous need to enter a marathon. can’t a person just run around the block and shut up about it?
I think marathons are dumb for normal people. What’s the point? I have no desire to run one and think it is the pinnacle of insanity. I might as well stick hot needles under my fingernails just to say I did it.
Marathons are for elite athletes. I think they’re crazy, too.
Yes me too
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[…] After the race, I headed back to the hostel for a quick shower, and learned that marathons are on the list of “Stuff White People Like.” […]
Asian female checking in. Asian people would not run a marathon if they made more money. The only time you’ll see an Asian running a marathon is to impress white friends or find a white husband! It’s all in good humor people.
[…] noble sport and excelling at it is a noble goal. Marathons have become a right of passage among the sedentary middle-class ever since the jogging craze of the 1970s. Most of the people I know who run marathons use them as […]
Here’s the thing everyone keeps forgetting about marathon runners.
They’re all going to die, just like every other creature on this planet. But hey, take people’s money first, so that you can be a “sponsored” creature.
how you could possibly take offense to this is ridiculous. I’m white, I run marathons/half marathons, and I’m not. Its funny and actually pretty true. I went to a race expo today. 80% of the people on my public transportation were black and 99.8% of the people at the expo were white. Empirical evidence and personal experience with chatty runners makes me laugh heartily at this page.
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I love racial stereotypes. Now I can add marathon running to white people. very funny
Love the post.keep sharing content
Since when is racism funny?
Some people run marathons because they love to run. You people who make fun of runners obviously don’t get it. Just like I don’t get why anyone would want to spend all of their free time lying on a couch.
Racial stereotypes are based in truth and those truths used by comedians is hilarious. Black, white whatever it is funny. Remove that stick from your bung hole and enjoy life ya prude. This said by a proud white man who knows we can’t jump or dance.
This is so funny – and for the most part true. Just don’t take it too seriously.
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And the Nigerians that win the Marathons every year aren’t Black?
[…] I probably won’t race again this year because the race fees are so expensive (Reminds me of a Stuff White People Like post), but if I do, I’d like to race where the fees aren’t quite so pricey. To help […]
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[…] #27 marathons | stuff white people like […]
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[…] #27 Marathons | Stuff White People Like – White people, don’t take offense…just laugh, it’s OK… This is a good post because marathon running can easily spill over to the other posts, like a person … […]
Bullshit. The first ten finishers in any marathon are either East Africans or Moroccans. Twenty minutes later, the first Caucasian arrives at the finish line.
Finally somebody said it! I’m white and I’m getting really tired of hearing about a bunch of people from the suburbs and their weekly marathons for so-called charity. LOOK AT ME. LOOK HOW AWESOME I AM. Makes me sick.
This is rediculous. I think that people who train for marathons shouldn’t be picked on by dumb individuals like the author of this article. At least they are taking care of there body and doing something worthwhile with their time instead of sitting on there fat butt writing stupid articles like this one. Another thing, marathons are not bad for you unless you train poorly. With the proper shoes and simple knowledge of how your body works, you can run many marathons without doing any damage. Also, most marathoners don’t wear New Balance…
[…] Marathons are something white people like […]
@ Ken in 2008: Stfu. No one really cares about the “plight of your people” because you yourself probably never even remotely had any plight near what “your people” endured. No one also cares about what’s in your DNA because you ain’t no elite athlete, whether Olympian or top marital artist, or top 10ker.
@ Kenneth in 2008: Your surname isn’t an indication of anything besides your lineage of who your great, great great grandparents chose to have sex with. You also did not de-mystify anything. If anything you sorta back up what the post said as you either totally ignored the sarcasm of the post or you missed it because you take yourself way too seriously.
Kenneth the black Native American said, “Imagine where America would be without slavery if white people had to build this country.”
I’ll de-mystify this for you: Blacks actually didn’t “build” America. It’s a myth. You were ignorant and lazy to not actually do your homework. Southern slavery’s output only counted for a minority of the GDP growth during the country’s slave era. Stick to strength & conditioning, old man, not race relations or history.
Kids, youse don’t know, its alll a marathon. I smoke marlboros all day, why? to make PM rich. You youngings are blessed to have me as your Captain. Be thannkfuls and tay safes.
[…] you’ve read the blog, “Stuff White People Like,” you may be familiar with #27 Marathons. One of the more telling truths of the mindset we’ve degenerated to is the fact […]
[…] you’ve read the blog, “Stuff White People Like,” you may be familiar with #27 Marathons. One of the more telling truths of the mindset we’ve degenerated to is the fact […]