#56 Lawyers

February 6, 2008 by mylosh

lawyers A common characteristic amongst white people is the need to over analyze things, so they partake in activities such as therapy, writing a blog, or becoming an arts major. So its rather obvious why white people love lawyers so much as it is the one profession that has mastered the art of “over analyzing things”. Even though most disputes can be resolved through reason, unselfishness, and / or a google search, white people would prefer to take things to court or have something in writing. Lawyers are seen as the ultimate problem solvers and “the law” is seen as the be all, end all, of resolving all the world’s ills. In fact white people tend to have better relationships with their lawyers than with family members or friends. Please note that when around white people, that it is social suicide to admit or state that you don’t have a regular lawyer.

But perhaps the one main reason why white people love lawyers is the sense that they are giving back to the community. Most white people major in the arts, and law school is pretty much the only option for anyone with a BA that wants a decent paying job. Basically this love of the law is keeping the demand for lawyers much higher than it should be. So paying lawyer fees to settle the smallest problem, is the white person equivalent of Warrick Dunn building homes for low income families.

Posted in People | 270 Comments

270 Responses

on February 6, 2008 at 12:41 pm clander

White people also love TV shows and movies about lawyers. That’s why so many of them decide that it is the only respectable career and go to law school at 40, thinking that somehow the will turn into Matt Damon and Gretchen Mol in Rounders.

They are wrong.
on February 6, 2008 at 3:13 pm LOL

White people love those flip flops with the rainbow logo on them, especially wearing them with pants to work.
on February 12, 2008 at 3:45 pm Rechill

I’m watching Law & Order right now. Poorer, mostly urban, white people like cop shows too.
on February 14, 2008 at 11:18 am haha

Seeing as how the majority of criminal defendants are black or mexican, I’m sure they love lawyers at least as equally as white people.
on February 14, 2008 at 4:03 pm Anonymous

American and British whites prefer to major in the arts, but German, Russian and other Europeans more often major in Sciences and Engineering. There is truth in generalizations, but the generalization itself is not the truth. Find the truth within the generalization. Note the abundant analysis here- from a white man. Lol.
on February 14, 2008 at 6:31 pm Brody

White people tend to like anything involving strictly defined rules and agreed upon events that take place within said rules. I have found that white people also relish punctuality.

White people also like sex education, and any knowledge about sex and contraception that makes sex seem less sexy and demystified.
on February 14, 2008 at 8:33 pm christian

This is true but I’ve been living in developing (aka poor) countries for a while now, and I’ve noticed that they require lawyers to do many more things than we do in the US, like buying a car, renting an apartment, or even getting a business phone line installed…

On the other hand they probably don’t respect lawyers as much as we white people do.
on February 14, 2008 at 10:50 pm Jim Rockford

I don’t think this is true at all. More like there are so many contractual disputes that Lawyering consumes all.

Meanwhile, Lawyer’s earnings plummet, as more and more legal work is being outsourced to the third world. Yes, most briefs now are being written overseas. The exception being highly paid top-flight litigators in high profile corporate or criminal defense cases.

Most people would prefer to avoid lawyers, and lawyering is a more recent development, in that most people did not sue/counter-sue. [Though the birth of railroads saw a huge influx of lawyering. Lincoln got his start as a railroad lawyer defending against suits by riverboat companies.] That being said, you wouldn’t read fiction from say 1900-1950 and see routine references to lawyering. Mostly, lawyering was a case for criminal issues — Clarence Darrow or Atticus Finch. Rather than routine issues of employment.
on February 14, 2008 at 11:30 pm Anonymous

NObody likes lawyers.
on February 15, 2008 at 4:44 am Syllopsium

Starts off well, turns to crap rapidly.

The US may be like that – the UK isn’t. We hate lawyers.
on February 15, 2008 at 5:06 am #68 Divorce « Stuff White People Like

[…] would otherwise be unemployed were it not for the high rate of divorce. So just like the love of lawyers, getting divorced is a way to give back to the […]
on February 15, 2008 at 1:59 pm christopher rivers

This is interesting, because as a lawyer i take an endless of amount of crap. Meanwhile, TV is full of lawyer shows and at parties people are always getting drunk and crying about how much they wanted to go to law school. Or telling me their kids are going to law school if they can get in.
on February 15, 2008 at 4:57 pm redgreen

“Most white people major in the arts, and law school is pretty much the only option for anyone with a BA that wants a decent paying job.”

True. Law school has become Plan B. Whites with ambitions of doing some job that’s altruistic, artistic, and/or intellectual often attempt it for a few years after college before throwing in the towel (having learned that they have no talent or that they’re doing something that even pays the talented little money) and go to law school. This is particularly embarrassing for those who had attempted altruistic work (e.g., teach for america, peace corp), because the legal work they wind up doing effectively negates their former altruism a million times over, leaving them for years to rationalize (to themselves and others) how being yet another douchebag litigator or corporate lawyer somehow has allowed them to fulfill their ambitions — just in an indirect kinda way.
on February 16, 2008 at 12:53 am Joe

This blog title is misleading: what you are in fact referring to and mocking is a certain subsection of white people in North America (mainly the US and to a lesser extent the non-Francophone parts of Canada), who are liberal/left-wing poseurs with above average incomes.

Most whites in the UK (where I am from) are nothing like that! Indeed, many whites from America itself are nothing like the whites you mock here. Moreover, whites from the non-anglophone world would hardly recognise any of the stereotypes you portray here. Talk about ethnocentric!

I suspect you are an Angry Asian Male (AAM) who has been brought up and educated among upper-middle class whites, subjected to their patronising behaviour and seen most of “your” fellow Asian women hook up with white men. This blog is your way of expressing your anger and getting some measure of revenge against the whites who have bothered you for so long. It’s funny and all, but please remember the target of your lampooning is a very narrow sub-section of the Caucasian race as a whole.

Oh, and Asians can be just as funny and weird too.
on February 17, 2008 at 8:54 pm silentconsort

I’m with #9, they suck mightily. They can make one simple correspondence into 3-4, and then of course have to call you about it as well. Cha-Ching$$$ nah we don’t love them, we hate them. Especially when they don’t give you straight answers right away and leave you worse off than before you gave them the retainer. Try to do EVERYTHING in life without them. Only if you have done something REAL bad, get one.
on February 18, 2008 at 5:14 pm RS

I am a first year law student (Plan B). I just started reading your blog. Brilliant.
on February 18, 2008 at 5:16 pm Anonymous

stuffblackpeoplelike – eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike – keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
on February 19, 2008 at 11:00 am imwhiteandi

I’m white and I don’t have a regular lawyer. Give me candy.
on February 19, 2008 at 3:25 pm Whitey Whiteson

This blog is hilarious, and painfully accurate, except for this post. Lawyers suck. Did you see Michael Clayton? A great white movie.
on February 19, 2008 at 6:18 pm paleface

Funny! I live in rural Alabama (!) outside a college town. The lawyer this whole blog me think of makes his living off rich Republican real estate developers, but he salves his guilt by doing pro bono for the local “save the animals”, and “save the river” groups. He also drives a Prius, recycles, and smokes a little pot now and then and all the hippies think he’s still cool and bring him their divorce business. I just keep telling my (white) self that he’s doing the best that he can, because that’s what my (black) preacher told me to think about folks when I start getting judgemental on their ass.
on February 20, 2008 at 10:35 am Improvilaw

I think this is hilarous. As white persona and future lawyer, I love it!
on February 20, 2008 at 6:51 pm thriftstoreprincess

#18, when you say “candy” I assume you mean fair trade, organic candy?
on February 21, 2008 at 1:32 am Katherine

I’m a white lawyer without a regular lawyer – gah! Letting the side down.
on February 21, 2008 at 12:10 pm roflpotato

I believe this post should actually be on stuffrichwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com.
on February 22, 2008 at 1:42 pm will

“A common characteristic amongst white people is the need to over analyze things, so they partake in activities such as therapy, WRITING A BLOG, or becoming an arts major.”

Does that mean the author of this blog is white?
on February 23, 2008 at 6:52 am #56 Lawyers | Right Lawyers

[…] NBlack wrote an engrossing place today onHere’s a hurried excerptSo its kinda manifest connector albescent grouping ass lawyers so much as it is the member statement that has amend the prowess of “over analyzing things”. Even though most disputes crapper be desperate ended reason, unselfishness, and / or a google … […]
on February 23, 2008 at 7:10 am Brown person

Brown people HATE lawyers.
on February 23, 2008 at 11:39 am Maine Event

Redgreen: So true, so true.
on February 23, 2008 at 6:09 pm gromit

Hey, I’m an Asian lawyer and half the people in my practice group are Asian! Ok, fine, we do intellectual property, but still.
on February 24, 2008 at 12:49 am the fixer

Lawyers are to rich white people what child soldiers are to African warlords.
on February 24, 2008 at 1:01 am Comment on #56 Lawyers by the fixer | Right Lawyers

[…] the rest of this enthusiastic place here Author: Time: Sunday, February 24th, 2008 at 2:49 am Category: Lawyers Comments: You can […]
on February 24, 2008 at 4:23 pm Bob

the reason white people like lawyers so much is because they are the official spokespeople of the law. and most white people know deep down that the law is one of the main ways in which white people keep themselves in a privileged position. so even though they feel that the law is the great equalizer, what they’re really saying is “thanks for systematically keeping non-whites down!”
on February 24, 2008 at 6:08 pm mythago

As a lawyer, I am deeply offended by this post. If white people stopped being selfish, took responsibility when they did something wrong, and used reason and good sense to resolve disputes, what the hell would I do for a living?
on February 25, 2008 at 12:06 pm Todd

The author has himself has over-analyzed this question. White people like lawyers because white people have assets, and assets demand the protection of laws to stay in existence.
on February 25, 2008 at 1:48 pm CW Skinner

Re: Jim Rockford above (Comment 8)

Although I know that the outsourcing of brief-writing has happened in the past, I don’t know ANY lawyer in actual practice that has been willing to risk his career or a case on it. Mostly it’s the corporate in-house attorneys that have done it to try to cut costs on their end, rather than doing the work themselves or getting help from an outside attorney.

Working for a Probate Court, I see what the outsourcing of basic transcription services from Physician and Psychologist reports has done to the quality of work. The grammar is awful, misspelling is rampant, and more than once, a sentence has been left hanging without a verb. The doctors don’t even bother to read the reports before they sign them. If practicing attorneys ever actually try to seriously outsource full brief-writing, they’ll probably get reamed out so badly for the writing by the court that they will never do it again.
on February 26, 2008 at 10:22 am angela

as a white law student on plan B, hahahahha! made my day.
on February 26, 2008 at 3:37 pm anon

as a white law student, i must say, there are too many white law students.
on February 26, 2008 at 6:48 pm Anonymous

The one post I disagree with so far! Lawyers are extremely controversial. I think tons of white people despise them.
on February 27, 2008 at 8:23 am Reda

Lawyers are motherf*ckers. England’s full of Lawyers now. If you finish your degree, it hasn’t taught you anything useful, you lack the creativity to be creative and you’re too much of a pussy to work in finance, advertising or media, you go to law school. It used to be teaching but teaching pays less and you get stabbed by blacks in the classroom.

Lawyers are pointless, ugly and almost exclusively white. This is not to say whites are ugly, or pointless, indeed many are hot and pointy, pointed even.

I love this sh1t. Make out with me.
on February 27, 2008 at 12:24 pm Nic

My lawyer husband’s lawyer friend sent this to me. I make sure to regularly remind my husband that his profession profits from other people’s misery. Maybe it balances out. As an accountant it seems like everybody else makes profit while I’m miserable.
on February 27, 2008 at 2:07 pm 2L

Should’ve called this post “Law School” and cut the first paragraph
on February 27, 2008 at 8:21 pm Rachel

I’m a lawyer. And not just any lawyer. I’m a divorce lawyer in a big general practice firm. I guess I just had no idea my profession would serve white society on so many levels. If only I had a B.A. or a deep love for indie films, I could probably be revered as a white goddess, huh?
on February 28, 2008 at 9:27 am Scam

White people don’t like lawyers. No one likes lawyers.
People enjoy fiction about lawyers, not the lawyers themselves. “The Wire” is popular, but actual drug dealers? Not so much.
on February 28, 2008 at 10:07 pm Rocky

I AM CONVINCED THIS WHOLE WEBSITE IS A SATIRE ABOUT LIBERAL JEWS AND THEIR QUIRKS.

Come on. Lawyers = Jews. Any Gentile that is a lawyer is a wannabe Jew!!
on February 28, 2008 at 10:08 pm Rocky

ps POST 42 proves this is a site about Jews and their lives.
on March 1, 2008 at 9:22 am confusius

Yea, to whoever is writing this blog, sorry, but NOBODY likes lawyers.
on March 2, 2008 at 9:44 am Pam

I feel so validated! Took that B.G.S. in Creative Writing and went straight to law school with it! And yeah, most of my “real” lawyer friends are also former arts majors.
on March 3, 2008 at 6:54 am Jews

I thought the Jews liked lawyers. Is this guy getting jews and white people mixed up?
on March 4, 2008 at 1:48 pm Anonymous

Lawyers are analogous to money. Without them, you can’t do anything legally really. If you have them, you can do a lot more! This includes fixing you up when you get your ass in trouble.
on March 5, 2008 at 1:51 am forsoothsayer

i’m a lawyer too (i’m as unwhite as it gets these days – arab), and all the white lawyers i know are just as the post describes. but so are all the other ones…you must not know this, but pretty much EVERYONE goes into law school because they didn’t know what to do with their arts degrees and because they really did want to help the world. sure most of us don’t end up doing that but blame capitalism.
i practice in a brown country btw and there’s no outsourcing of anything. on the contrary, american lawyers etc are always trying to do stuff their way and it doesn’t work and screws shit up enormously.

more apt post topics: mayonnaise, and being friends with ex boyfriends and girlfriends.
on March 5, 2008 at 2:58 pm jndhuck

Once upon a time, I was a nanny for a lady going through the court system to settle custody with her ex. She phoned her lawyer and left him a brief message letting him know she might be a few minutes late for their meeting (turned out she wasn’t), and was shocked when he charged her $40 for the voicemail. From then on, anytime she had to leave a voicemail , she would tell a lawyer joke to make it worth her while to shell out $40.
on March 5, 2008 at 9:25 pm xx

Problem: Disputes wouldn’t arise in the first place if people were “unselfish”.
on March 6, 2008 at 1:35 pm Soon2B President Obama

Hey now, every race likes lawyers, it’s just that we have price differences. You just wait till that B!tch from Arkasas/NewYork tries to include Florida and Michigan. Then you will see some serious african american lawyering on my part. I may even bring on Johnny Cock from the ground to give her the Marsha Clarke treatment. The NAACP will be burning crosses in her yard. Yah thats how it’s going down…… CHANGE!
on March 6, 2008 at 2:45 pm anonymous

So the man that wrote “kill all of the lawyers” was not white?
on March 7, 2008 at 11:26 am J

After the PhD in political science, and the need to get out of the small college town located in the middle of no-where, where I was making less than $35,000, what else was there to do but go to law school.
on March 7, 2008 at 3:52 pm juan

White people also like the word “blog”. Read more about this awful word at http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=banish
on March 9, 2008 at 1:00 am AC

Man I hate lawyers.
on March 9, 2008 at 5:00 pm Anonymous

I find this post highly amusing but many of the following comments ignorant. I am a lawyer. I work at a not for profit firm. You all can talk all the shit you want about lawyers – it doesnt offend me as I often find opposing counsel to be assholes- but you navigate the legal system yourselves for your arrest/divorce/custody dispute/personal injury suit/consumer credit issues and see how far you get.

I will always believe that generalizations of any type are the mark of ignorance.
on March 10, 2008 at 1:28 pm NY Esquire

This is one entry i find a bit off base. Like Anonymous #58 I’m also a lawyer, and can assure you it’s not a badge of honor in any circles these days, ESPECIALLY the white folks parodied so keenly on this blog. (The other comments certainly prove my point.) Almost nothing is cooler than bashing lawyers, even among lawyers. (And I’m not complaining … I generally tend to agree.) We probably rank slightly above or slightly below investment bankers in popularity and respect, but calling your lawyer has replaced going to the dentist as life’s least pleasant necessity.
on March 11, 2008 at 4:43 pm Most Awesome Blog « Call Center Hell

[…] #56 Lawyers […]
on March 12, 2008 at 5:59 am Laughing All The Way To The Bank

I am 60 years old and have practiced the “chosen” profession for over 30 years. I was a fan of To Kill A Mocking Bird and Paper Chase. So off I went on the yellow brick road. As a criminal defense attorney, I quickly realized that it was all about winning. Regardless. Whether my client was charged with selling drugs or killing his drug dealer, it made no difference. All of the lawyer journals I read over the years rationalized away what I was doing. My lawyer friends attempted to persuade me that we were making the world a better place blah blah blah. At the end of the day, it is all about money. As long as you can accept that as reality, you should be able to sleep at night. If I had the chance, would I do anything different? Probably not. For many, I have made a difference. People tend to hate lawyers until they need one. And then they hire the best they can afford. Just ask O.J.
on March 13, 2008 at 12:11 pm Daily Dyson » Blog Archive » Stuff White People Like

[…] of the editorial board include: #80 The Idea of Soccer, #56 Lawyers, and #22 Having Two Last Names. Favourites of S.B. include: #11 Asian […]
on March 13, 2008 at 9:00 pm Anonymous

Thank you Post #58. Finally something intelligent on this site.
on March 16, 2008 at 6:26 pm Anonymous

The irrational hatred for lawyers on here should be lumped under the “hating corporations” topic
on March 17, 2008 at 12:09 pm Captain Garbarrassing

Look here…
This site is mediocre at best. It is mildly entertaining. Half of the items on this list are garbage. The effort and thought put into this list is pretty embarrassing.

if you want some actual funny entertainment/blog/writing/insightful/great stuff

http://www.garbarrassing.com

go for it.
on March 18, 2008 at 4:58 am spencer

white people also like blogs and anything that has to do with blogs (interviewing others for blogs, signing book deals for blogs, blogging about blogs). they also like 24.
on March 18, 2008 at 3:47 pm matt

No 24, is there any other kind (who have to time to sit around and read comments to blogs)?
on March 19, 2008 at 3:16 pm eric

As a White soon-to-be law student myself (on Plan B), I wholeheartedly enjoy and endorse this article.
on March 20, 2008 at 12:16 pm Greg

White people also love Pastor Manning who is preaching from Atlah World Ministries about all of the racial concerns we have all had for many years. See YouTube…You will be amazed.
on March 20, 2008 at 3:59 pm Cliff

I love lawyers….
FOR TARGET PRACTICE!

Seriously, have you ever heard even one of the billion lawyer jokes out there? It is an accepted scientific fact that lawyers are subhuman. How dare you besmirch my good name with this.
on March 21, 2008 at 5:21 am Spadecat

I am a second generation white lawyer begetting third generation white lawyers and loving every minute of it. At two hundred dollars an hour, who wouldn’t?

We love TENNIS, CHESS, and mailing our goofy CHRISTMAS FAMILY PHOTO CARDS each and every year. We play GOLF as a family and WEAR MATCHING SWEATERS, some slung over our shoulders TIED WITH KNOTS IN THE FRONT. We drive LATE MODEL SAABS and only watch SEINFELD RERUNS on tv.

If whiteness could be packaged in a can, we’d have it smeared all over our faces.

P.S. We also love SCRABBLE and CEREALS THAT CRUNCH.
on March 21, 2008 at 7:02 am 1L

Is the choice to go to law school largely ego driven? Of course, but so is any other choice people make. “Lawyer” is really a very broad catch all for thousands of different jobs people with a JD do. I’m sure I wouldn’t like my ex-wife’s divorce attorney either, but that doesn’t mean that all lawyers are getting rich or that all lawyers even litigate or have clients for that matter. As a white/male/law student/English major/AmeriCorps graduate/Peace Corps enthusiast, I can laugh at how spot on this generalization can be; however, it’s still just a generalization. I’m in law school because any other line of work would likely bore me, and I’m likely to pay for this satisfaction with decades of poverty and crippling loan debt.
on March 21, 2008 at 9:15 pm Thurston Howe III

Geez, some of you honkies are dense! “White People” is more an attitude than a racial classification. Not only does it exclude almost all non-British whites, but it includes only the most WASP-y, preppy, Connecticut I-can-talk-without-moving-my-teeth yuppies. For example , on the TV show Gilligan’s Island, even thought the entire cast was white, only Thurston and Lovey Howe were true “White People”. Skipper and Gilligan: too blue collar, Professor: too nerdy, MaryAnn: too hick, Ginger: borderline, possibly too sexy.

Also, you don’t have to be white to be “white People”. Worked for a black guy who lived on a lake in Seattle, restored Jaguars for a hobby, and talked like he was from Newport, Rhode Island. He was 1000 times “Whiter” than this JD-drinking blue collar redneck (of damn near 100% Anglo-Celtic ancestry) will ever be.

Get it now? Y’all pinches putos pendejos babosos!
on March 22, 2008 at 12:04 am Chris

Jesus, i am applying for my PhD at thirty, and here is the verbal spanking for all you poor arts majors: If you are smart and have no trade skill (as I do, two, and have survived off of both) and you are so non-passionate about life that law school seems like a great idea, you deserve every pathetic moment of self-doubt God throws your way. Lawyers who go right in and love argument and the process of law – we need you and you kick ass. Lawyers that go into it for the money because you couldn’t sell your novel or save whales… why don’t you kill yourselves now and save me the next conversation at a cocktail party where I have to listen to your story of deferred dreams as you knock back another cosmo. Oh, and the world doesn’t need your gifted children either…
on March 27, 2008 at 7:56 am Keith

Out of the whole list, this is the only one that bugged me at a glance. All of us white people HATE lawyers! Dealing with them is only a last resort, and only if absolutely necessary.

And I don’t buy that excuse that “white people” really means just a small subset of white folks. If so, then use a different term for them.

I like racial jokes, but I thought this entry was stupid.
on March 28, 2008 at 10:43 am Hiking sandals should be outlawed

Rainbows rule!
on March 28, 2008 at 2:14 pm Law Student

How stupid are you, Jimmy? Why do you think it costs $300/hr for the basic criminal defense or tort lawyer? So he can then pass work on to someone else? High profile lawyers (partners) file briefs written by associates with low salaries ($150k).

Nice analysis, douchebag.
on March 28, 2008 at 2:56 pm damn

I pooped my pants
on March 28, 2008 at 4:56 pm Privileged White Flaunt, Unabashed (Part II) « underprivilegedJournalism

[…] #56 Lawyers […]
on March 28, 2008 at 7:06 pm Anonymous

unless it’s a public defender who cannnot even remember their name…or worse, how to pronounce it!
on March 29, 2008 at 9:27 am Not a Law Student

I hope you go to a really good law school if you think you’re going to start out at $150K.
on March 29, 2008 at 9:19 pm Is Your Privileged White Flaunt Tempting Enough to Get U Killed? Mine Is. « massmediakillers

[…] #56 Lawyers […]
on March 30, 2008 at 9:53 pm Portnoy

Worked for a black guy who lived on a lake in Seattle, restored Jaguars for a hobby, and talked like he was from Newport, Rhode Island. He was 1000 times “Whiter” than this JD-drinking blue collar redneck (of damn near 100% Anglo-Celtic ancestry) will ever be.

Nice try. Good BS though. You wish you were White. White people know who their own people are.

Nobody is going to believe that the whitest acting black or mexican is “White”. Sorry.
on March 31, 2008 at 4:40 pm Nightly News

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t enjoy cops

… Dam that show is good

even though many whities won’t admit it (How the f-ck do u spell whities?)
on April 1, 2008 at 2:16 am Richard Rodham (yeah...)

Hillary’s not “from” Arkansas. She’s from a ‘white’ Chicago suburb that they won’t let Obama live in (and still be ‘black’).
on April 1, 2008 at 4:16 am jasonlopes.com - Website of Jason Lopes » Blog Archive » White people like…. graduate school

[…] professional graduate schools like law and medicine are desirable, the true ivory tower of academia is most coveted as it imparts true, […]
on April 1, 2008 at 7:05 am Flipper

“Lawyers that go into it for the money because you couldn’t sell your novel or save whales… why don’t you kill yourselves now and save me the next conversation at a cocktail party where I have to listen to your story of deferred dreams as you knock back another cosmo. Oh, and the world doesn’t need your gifted children either…”

But they can be amusing. http://www.philalawyer.net
on April 1, 2008 at 5:18 pm Lawstudent09

“Lawyers that go into it for the money because you couldn’t sell your novel or save whales… why don’t you kill yourselves now and save me the next conversation at a cocktail party where I have to listen to your story of deferred dreams as you knock back another cosmo. Oh, and the world doesn’t need your gifted children either…”

But they can be amusing. http://www.philalawyer.net”

Right. Everyone hates lawyers until they need them. Everyone wants to kill them until they get injured or screwed by a corporation, then they suddenly love them.

Philalawyer is a scumbag, by the way. Not amusing in the least.
on April 3, 2008 at 7:57 am Laughing my ass off

White people like lawyers so much because they are jealous that their Jewish friends are more sucsessful and feel the need to compete. It’s because our culture is based on asking questions, complaining over and over again and finding exceptions for every single rule.

If they had the choice theyd hire a jewish lawyer over a wasp lawyer cuz they know jews will defend them in court for their homophobic/racist remarks and declare their right to “freedom of speech”.

Really we just hink this is ridiculous and we take advantage of them. Taking their money is the biggest laugh.

you dont know how many times I get asked “Oh you are jewish? do u know any good lawyers?” It’s true.
on April 7, 2008 at 1:09 pm Jon

I’m white and I hate lawyers.

except when they can get me millions of dollars for my burnt lip I got from that damn coffee at Starbucks.

Anyone know a good lawyer?
on April 7, 2008 at 3:34 pm OK

Who let Rod Stewart on here?
on April 8, 2008 at 4:11 pm Eliz

pahh noo, I DON’T like lawyers at all :{
on April 9, 2008 at 7:49 pm Anonymous

Lets not forget that most of the greatest discoveries in modern science were made by white people. Americans and Europeans together have won atleast three times as many Nobels in the sciences as people from the rest of the world. So it would be wrong to say that all whites major in arts. I am an indian and I work in a semiconductor company where a majority of my colleagues are white. Almost all of them are brilliant engineers. Before I came to this country, I was under the impression that whites have no interest in the sciences, but I have now found that its not true. Sometimes, I think that this myth is propagated by white people themselves to divert attention from the fact that they hold the IP rights to some of the best technologies in the world and that the rest of us are only working for them:)
on April 11, 2008 at 11:30 am Ole Man Dan

Everyone should have a ‘Good’ Criminal Lawyer (Not one who’s a criminal) and A good Divorce Lawyer. Keep em tied to the front gate to keep the riff-raff away.

Caution: They will feed on anything they can…
on April 13, 2008 at 1:58 pm j roberts

Great site!! Very funny!! I am a revolutionary, radical, White seperatist. I think you do a good job at describing the upper class yuppie whites. Keep up the good work.
on April 13, 2008 at 2:00 pm j roberts

The truth is that lawyers have always been the scourge of white society. Read what johnathan swift wrote about them.
on April 14, 2008 at 5:42 pm Pale Attorney

You mean to tell me that there is legal work in auto transactions somewhere in the world?! Tell me more (including the going rate for such services).
on April 14, 2008 at 5:45 pm Pale Attorney

Well, you may have a point, but at least we redistribute the assets (to ourselves) more effectively than child soldiers… they barely even manage to scrape a pair of shoes out of the deal.
on April 14, 2008 at 5:50 pm Pale Attorney

It’s a rationale outcome of the adversarial system to dislike attorneys. You’d hate doctors, too, if everytime you went to see one, there was another one there trying to make you sick.
on April 16, 2008 at 10:11 am foo man cho

Having a lawyer comes in good hand sometimes. You can always take a tragedy into your advantage. The families of victims of VT shooting last year jsut won $11 mil lawsuit. One could never replace a lost son or daughter and sll killers should rot but at the same time personal gaining $$ from such tragic events also corrupt our moral. It seems that everybody is suing everybody now a day. The rich Duke ) lacross) boys are suing the school fro defamation. Dang, i could be sitting on pot of gold for being called “chink” back in high school. yes what minority never got defamed in school, court system, police dept.

Peace out

-Foo Man Cho
on April 17, 2008 at 11:26 am DaHoffa

Okay, everybody stop reading the responses for a minute, now go back and re-read the first sentance of the post. Hopefully you’ll find it amusing.
on April 19, 2008 at 2:18 pm C.Wright.Thru.U.

Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Truth, Equality, and Justice?

http://www.survival-international.org
on April 19, 2008 at 10:44 pm Margaret

White people also love a good lawyer joke… despite the fact that we’ve all used a lawyer at some point, we find it hilariously ironic to mock them at social gatherings.
Corporate lawyers are a great target (because we hate big corporations), and we love to use the term “ambulance chaser” whenever possible.
Oh, and whenever a white child has remotely adequate debating abilities, they are swiftly told they’d make a great lawyer.
on May 14, 2008 at 5:43 pm A Modest Opinion » #99 Grammar « Stuff White People Like

[…] why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is […]
on May 15, 2008 at 11:19 pm King of Miami JD

In response to j roberts, the only thing that qualifies you as ‘radical’ is your extreme need of primary school education. It’s “s-e-p-a-r-a-t-i-s-t,” you dumb, ignorant hick.
on May 21, 2008 at 1:42 am coconut goodness « sunili’s blog

[…] For example: A common characteristic amongst white people is the need to over analyze things, so they partake in activities such as therapy, writing a blog, or becoming an arts major. So its rather obvious why white people love lawyers so much as it is the one profession that has mastered the art of “over analyzing things”. Even though most disputes can be resolved through reason, unselfishness, and / or a google search, white people would prefer to take things to court or have something in writing. Lawyers are seen as the ultimate problem solvers and “the law” is seen as the be all, end all, of resolving all the world’s ills. [#56] […]
on May 30, 2008 at 3:30 pm Blah

I hate lawyers.
on May 31, 2008 at 11:33 pm cigars

No one likes lawyers. It’s just a known fact. Now when you need one, that’s the only lawyer you like.
on June 2, 2008 at 7:10 pm Bobz

Now this is really a stretch. I have never ever heard anyone say they love “lawyers”. They are considered in our society as one step above used car salesmen.
on June 3, 2008 at 7:45 am Comment Vandal

“A common characteristic amongst white people is the need to over analyze things, so they partake in activities such as …writing a blog…”

#50 for sure
on June 6, 2008 at 2:44 am John

all people regardless of race need lawyers.
its ignorant to think that only one race of people need lawyers, or like lawyers for that matter. whats up with some of the blatent racial statements made on this message board. i cannot believe what i have read. if this is how people think in their minds, we’ll this is a scary country we live in. wake up people this is 2008, not 1958.

bi-racial man from Chicago
on June 6, 2008 at 5:40 pm BD&J - Personal Injury Lawyers » Blog Archive » To Be Loved As A Lawyer

[…] asked why we love lawyers so much, 29-year-old Culver City Internet copy writer Christian Lander, of the popular WordPress comedy […]
on June 22, 2008 at 7:34 pm DMS

King of Miami JD is obviously a white person.

See #99.
on June 26, 2008 at 11:20 am bootdog

This whole list sucks dude. Yer not funny. Ok, sometimes, but mostly not. Just, like mildly offensive. Not like “oh my god he went there” offensive, more like “um, am I supposed to think that is funny or clever?”
on June 26, 2008 at 11:21 am bootdog

Actually, the whole list should just be turned into “Stuff Yuppies Like” and then it MIGHT be a little more on point.
on June 26, 2008 at 2:04 pm Tim

It’s only the white part of you that’s so offended. See # whatever, being offended.
on June 27, 2008 at 10:44 am jaime

mylosh is really not a good writer… not in terms of grammar, more like… what are you saying?!
on June 28, 2008 at 7:16 am Kay

I still can’t understand why anyone would watch a show featuring lawyers-other then if it’s a show involving people buried up to their necks in sand and very large lawn mowers. The only reason you ever need a lawyer is to fight other lawyers.
on July 2, 2008 at 3:41 pm so and so

you already said that
on July 2, 2008 at 3:46 pm so and so

Yep. What he said.
on July 10, 2008 at 11:20 am RedCent

There are actually people who like lawyers? We need to find them and sue them for harming the greater public good, or something like that.
on July 14, 2008 at 7:30 am mr. carver

my last public defender cleared me of my charges, I like that
on July 14, 2008 at 10:15 am BDJ Injury Lawyers » Blog Archive » To Be Loved As A Lawyer

[…] asked why we love lawyers so much, 29-year-old Culver City Internet copy writer Christian Lander, of the popular WordPress comedy […]
on July 14, 2008 at 7:48 pm Shane

lawyers are well paid now? not where I live… 6+ years of study to earn half what a coal miner does….
on July 16, 2008 at 6:44 am SciLaw

That’s not true.

Some of us lawyers have engineering degrees and had great jobs, but decided to take the faster road to a bigger paycheck.
on July 16, 2008 at 6:46 am SciLaw

A comment common to somebody who in the past had done something exceptionally dumb without thinking it through first.
on July 16, 2008 at 12:08 pm Rick

Shane inadvertantly points out that white people also like to complain.
on July 17, 2008 at 5:58 am Todd

I also think a topic should be hating Lawyers. White people love being lawyers, but when they aren’t one they hate the idea of lawyers and their greater than thou attitude.
on July 21, 2008 at 10:54 am Andrew

My dad is a lawyer and he comes from a long line of lawyers and one judge; he made me promise him I’d never become a lawyer. Its true, there are hordes of lawyers out there ready to serve any number of litigious Americans with a problem.
The sad thing is that I am considering getting a law degree. I tell myself I can do something “good” with the law, but its so true, I just want to stand there in a group of people and start talking about how I went to China (peace corps, two years, hasn’t happened yet) and now I was going to use my shiny new law degree to campaign for global democratic movements, cause you know, that’s the kinda guy I am.
on July 28, 2008 at 7:30 am Alex

Well played! You’re bi-racial, but it’s the WHITE part that’s offended! Awesome.
on July 30, 2008 at 9:31 am Undercoverblackman is Stuffwhitepeoplelike « the undercoverblackman

[…] #56 Lawyers […]
on July 31, 2008 at 5:10 am Debbie

You actually can do some good with a lawy degree. I waited til I was in my 50s to go to law school. Now I’m doing strictly indigent criminal defense, and doing it zealously. My main payoff is not the money, which isn’t that great considering what I’m doing, but knowing that as an old broad I’m still smart enough to get through law school and pass the bar on my first try. My advice: Don’t wait til your 50s. Go now.
on July 31, 2008 at 5:10 am Debbie

Maybe I should take up coal mining on weekends.
on August 8, 2008 at 12:44 pm Jesus Freak

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Lawyers are a subhuman species!
on August 13, 2008 at 10:51 pm haley

My lawyers name is gretchen.
on August 16, 2008 at 12:06 am josh

Shane you’re full of shit. Maybe mine foremen make more than some prosecutors an public defenders, but this is an extreme example. Try reading occasionally.
on August 19, 2008 at 12:48 pm Sir Douglas

Funny (and correct) post.

It seems most of my friends are lawyers. While some actually planned on going to law school for years, for most it was the only viable alternative to getting a decent paying job. Except that for many, even the “decent paying” part didn’t exactly pan out. Oh sure, if you land a job at a big firm, the money is good. But then, you have to actually work at these god-awful places. Which is not good.

Most of my lawyer friends took jobs at smallish law firms, where they have the privilege of doing tearfully boring work for 50-60 hours/week. They make about $50-$60K for doing so, which isn’t a whole hell of a lot after making the payment on $100K in student loans.

But they LOVE to tell people they’re lawyers, and they know how to act like they love it. What they hope you don’t catch on to however, is the fact that they frickin’ hate it, and would rather sustain paper cuts directly to the tongue than spend yet another day doing what they do for a living. If I had a nickel for every friend who regrets having gone to law school, I would have retired yesterday.
on August 26, 2008 at 4:51 pm Hope

You shouldn’t have to have lawyers in the first place to decipher law. If this Country were For the People by the People, then the People would have written the law to be understandable by even the stupidist Person! Our forfathers fucked up and allowed several flaws in our legal system. One, only people with land (money) could run for President. Two, allowing different Political groups (Democrat, Republican, whatever. (Representative Democracy) Three, allowing for lobbyists (lobbyists are a small group of people getting laws made in their favor for the rest of the people, PETA comes to mind). Four, allowing Governors, Senators, Presidents to be swayed by the money of lobbyists! Capitalism sucks because of this. Rome fell, and so will America who didn’t learn from the mistakes! Governent for the People by the People doesn’t mean Government for the People by the Priviledged People only! Fuck all of you, and maybe there needs to be another Revolution to put you in your place, like in France!
on August 26, 2008 at 5:01 pm Hope

In fact, this country is full of Cowboys! It should just be called Marshall law! Here are some other complaints, if everyone is innocent until proven guilty, then how can one be held as a prisoner or without bail when not even having a speedy trial by jury yet? Figure that one out you lawyers and supporters. After all, if you’re innocent, you’re still the same as everyone else who hasn’t commited a crime. And that BS I hear about once being arrested, you’ve lost your Contitutional Rights is crap. How is America any different than England, the very people we won our Independence from? We’re no different. Especially in CommonWealth’s like Virginia, Penn, Mass, I don’t know the other two, but they’re probably just as miserable! Not only that, but it’s proven that America is nothing but a Corporation and that the laws are written by Corporations! East India Trade Company comes to mind.
on August 26, 2008 at 8:26 pm nad1

A relative of mine works as a high school guidance counselor. Apparantly during the height of the LA Law series, countless students inquired about (and enrolling in) law school.

Now (courtesy of CSI) they all want to go into forensics.
on August 27, 2008 at 9:23 am doucheculture

Cole’S Law Blog: Two lawyers walk into a bar and other treaded-over observations

coleslawblog.wordpress.com
on September 6, 2008 at 3:47 pm White People Like taking credit from Asians: Who is Myles Valentin? « Restructure!

[…] girls, #15 Yoga, #30 Wrigley Field, #31 Snowboarding, #44 Public Radio, #45 Asian Fusion Food, #56 Lawyers, #57 Juno, #66 Divorce, and #74 Oscar Parties. However, Valentin is rarely mentioned in articles […]
on September 7, 2008 at 12:22 pm Samantha

Lawyers are idiots. I work for them. I know.
on September 9, 2008 at 6:25 am Carandiru

Guarantee that when “Stuff Black People Like” hits Borders and Barnes & Noble, you won’t see “lol” as the general response on comment boards…
on September 10, 2008 at 8:35 am MsLuscious

love it! http://www.SHOP-LUSCIOUS.com
on September 11, 2008 at 7:01 am White People Like taking credit from Asians: Who is Myles Valentin? at Racialicious - the intersection of race and pop culture

[…] girls, #15 Yoga, #30 Wrigley Field, #31 Snowboarding, #44 Public Radio, #45 Asian Fusion Food, #56 Lawyers, #57 Juno, #66 Divorce, and #74 Oscar Parties. However, Valentin is rarely mentioned in articles […]
on September 15, 2008 at 9:00 am elle

Who needs the pope, a minister, rabbi or pimp when you have a Lawyer?
on September 23, 2008 at 9:19 am Sam

I am white. I am a lawyer. I dislike lawyers. Especially the white ones.
on September 25, 2008 at 12:20 pm Steve

Well, I guess that settles it…

(now I’m going to go rip up my bar license)

However, I do agree with you for about 75% of them.
on October 9, 2008 at 10:33 am seespotrun

If they’re such idiots why are YOU working for THEM? Shouldn’t it be the other way around…
on October 12, 2008 at 2:53 pm Tim

I am a lawyer . . . we are idiots.
on October 16, 2008 at 8:09 pm John Smith

The legal profession has people from every single corner on the face of the earth. Do your universalities apply with African lawyers practicing in Africa – pick a country, any country. What about Asian lawyers? Australian? European? South American? You are a simple person with a simple, limited, mind. By the way, who are you quoting? I see all those quotes, but I don’t see you attributing those words or phrases to anyone; it’s like using an exclamation mark when you should be using a period.
on October 22, 2008 at 4:24 pm Buckaroo

What’s the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead possum laying in the middle of the road?

>>>>>>>>>>There are no skid marks in front of the lawyer.
on October 29, 2008 at 7:34 pm A WHITE GUYS

LAWERS ARE RUINING THIS COUNTRY
on November 6, 2008 at 1:20 pm Paul

That’s what you say now. But wait until the shiz hits the fan. You’ll be glad to have a good lawyer
on November 12, 2008 at 3:01 pm Chris

Ummm, I think you mean “running” this country, but your point is still well taken. Perhaps some other group such as Wall Street bankers should . . . oh wait, never mind (see: financial crisis death spiral) . . . how about doctors? Ummm, right, anyone seen a decent health care system in this country? Anyone else? Bueller?
on November 13, 2008 at 9:20 am Brant

I’m a real estate lawyer. Prior to this financial crisis, all I ever did was make my clients money. Qualify your statements.

That aside this is hilarious. Half of the kids I went to lawschool with were only there for the “JD” title. They had no passion for the profession.
on November 28, 2008 at 12:15 am Laura

hahha, I’m white, and in law school and i love how seriously people seem to be taking this post. apparently, by the responses, lawyers are indeed self righteous and a lot of people hate them just because they’re lawyers. but the joke here is that us white kids are overly analytic and that translates into our love of the law. it’s funny cause it’s true.
on December 5, 2008 at 10:20 am The wrong kind of white

This post is the perfect example “white” people meaning just upper class types. Us poor people hates lawyers, with all them fancy words and such.
on December 22, 2008 at 7:17 am Joe

Yes…us attorneys are ruining this country…and I’m going to go ahead and bill you a tenth for responding to this post.
on December 22, 2008 at 7:18 am Joe

All I do is make big evil corporations a ton of money specializing in Admiralty Law. My company didn’t take a bailout, and we’ve been in the black since 1891…guess somebody is doing a good job…
on December 22, 2008 at 9:45 pm Rich Man Richard

“all them fancy words and such”
… you dumb-ass fuck. you take pride in being stupid. pathetic dumb piece of shit, no wonder you’re poor.
on December 28, 2008 at 6:22 pm anon

The concept of irony is clearly lost on Rich Man Richard.
on January 3, 2009 at 4:59 pm ariel

Irony:
https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/03/50-irony/
on January 6, 2009 at 2:56 pm thereom4 aka black chick (< so you know I'm black)

^Indeed
on January 26, 2009 at 9:28 am squozzer

Some other things about lawyers that white people like —

1) Fidel Castro was a lawyer.

2) Lawyers kept OJ out of jail for 12 years. That’s like keeping Jesus out of Golgotha.

3) Lawyers keep white people out of jail. Important for thos e of us who like keeping their fart tones somewhere above middle C.

4) Barack Obama was a lawyer before he became king.
on January 29, 2009 at 6:11 am Melissa

Haha, “and/or a google search.” Google has remedied so many situations and illnesses.
on January 29, 2009 at 9:04 am squozzer

Oops, forgot something…

Studying the law also lets WP learn a foreign language — Latin.

You know, stuff like sine qua non, pro se, quid pro quo…

Useful for trips to…nope, I can’t say it…Dan Quayle already said it.
on January 30, 2009 at 10:54 am Frogger

I especially hate prosecuting attorneys. Their job is to get people fined or sent to jail no matter if they are guilty or innocent, the accused has to hope the jury or judge figures out what “reasonable doubt” is which most Americans are indoctrinated to think everyone is guilty until proven innocent.
on February 1, 2009 at 8:24 pm joe

isn’t this a blog?
on February 5, 2009 at 3:16 pm Billy Toler

Lawyers are like Herpies… Once you think you get rid of them and pay them off they come back for more…
on February 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm Ted

I’m a lawyer and make $700,000.00 a year. Screw you losers.
on March 19, 2009 at 10:08 pm WASP

Lmao! Yeah it sure is a blog. But my understanding of it is that because the writer appears to be black, he/she can get away with it because they’re part of a “minority”.

Maybe the writer of this website is really a black person like Will Smith; seemingly black, but whiter then even I am.
on March 20, 2009 at 5:03 pm dude

Christian Lander is white.
on March 29, 2009 at 9:18 am Realism

Ok, lets not classify Will Smith as white just because he is smart and articulate. Clearly not everyone smart and articulate are white. I certainly am not!
on April 11, 2009 at 11:42 am fr3

just because will smith was in the pursuit of happiness doesn’t make him smart and articulate. That’s what he wants you to think. god i hate actors.
on April 18, 2009 at 12:51 pm sheila

you seem to know a lot about infectious disease.

at least us lawyers can spell Herpes.
on April 29, 2009 at 9:54 am Mari

I am a lawyer. I love the law. I dislike lawyers.
on April 29, 2009 at 6:42 pm Alexis

It definitely seems to me that this blogger is white.
on April 29, 2009 at 6:43 pm Alexis

Actually Google him and you will see he is probably one of the whitest white dudes.
on May 7, 2009 at 9:55 pm Charlie Brown

Woo – Lets all hate on lawyers coz ANARCHY ROCKS!!!!!
on May 9, 2009 at 5:29 pm David Anber

That’s not true — nobody likes lawyers.
on May 9, 2009 at 5:30 pm David Anber

Maybe this section should have been “making Lawyer Jokes”
on May 13, 2009 at 7:37 am humptydumpty1

Now Sheila, you yourself know full well that Lawyers cannot spell a number of words. For example: truth, honesty, integrity, moral compass (yeah sugar, it is two words), and humility, to name just a few.
on May 22, 2009 at 4:19 pm Mardi

Lawyers are RESPECTABLE
on June 15, 2009 at 3:15 am fkdupdad

That’s funny.

http://messedupparentingtips.wordpress.com/
on June 24, 2009 at 7:36 am Jim Bond

Yeah this one sucked. Nobody likes lawyers. FAIL

http://www.beabetterproducer.com
on June 30, 2009 at 8:04 am Kopachi

It’s not the lawyers that are idiots…it’s the people who hire them to do stupid shit that are the idiots. The lawyers need to eat like everyone else. Are they supposed to be sorry that they want a better life like everyone else?
on July 2, 2009 at 11:06 pm Sarah

people like lawyers when they use them to get money out of other people or companies. I like my lawyer for getting me 25,000 when a company wouldnt refund my 6,000.
on July 7, 2009 at 10:37 am Beg-a-thon begins

I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????

I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on attorney’s fees.

Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)

http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
on July 10, 2009 at 11:09 am Hip Hop Samples

^yep
on July 11, 2009 at 7:33 am Brandon Parkison

over analyzing or thinking thoroughly. last i checked white people built the world on over anaylzing. last i checked Ethiopian faces were the spawning pool of flies, and civil war was the continents national pass time. HAHA insulting intelligence is humorous to me
on August 5, 2009 at 9:40 am Blog Initiation « My Blog

[…] By hikingmd As all people like over-analysing things , I figured it was time for me to also join the blogosphere. This blog (as the title implies) […]
on August 16, 2009 at 3:23 pm Michael

Keep it up, beggy-thon, you’re gonna get sued for web vandalism of this blog. Really…seriously…stop it now. +
on August 24, 2009 at 7:16 pm Ella

You missed an important link.

Once these white people with their BA’s get their JD’s and rack up thousands in student loans, all they want is to escape that corporate world to go work for a non-profit, preferably in a foreign country (backpacks = essential) where they can eat “ethnic” foods and educate the locals about their culture, which they undoubtedly learned all about on public radio…
on August 27, 2009 at 12:31 pm Zachary Kyra-Derksen

Oh Yes! Well said. I am white and I agree.
on September 1, 2009 at 1:43 pm Wally G.

how do tell when a realtard (“realtor”) or lawyer is lying–when their lips move.

lawyers are scum of the earth. many make shit <50K and are basically useless unless you hire true top 5%, the rest are shit.
on September 3, 2009 at 12:22 pm Chow Main

most are jokers, some go to those correspondence schools/private free-standing shit houses–most are FRAUDS.
on September 6, 2009 at 8:51 am UncleTed

“lawyers are scum of the earth”

Oh … how original.
on September 13, 2009 at 9:30 am Scottie

Humpty, I do believe we are one of the only fields other than medical practitioners that actually have our jobs based on ethical standards such as the Oath of Admission for Colorado:

I will support the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of the State of Colorado; I will maintain the respect due to Courts and judicial officers; I will employ only such means as are consistent with truth and honor; I will treat all persons whom I encounter through my practice of law with fairness, courtesy, respect and honesty; I will use my knowledge of the law for the betterment of society and the improvement of the legal system; I will never reject, from any consideration personal to myself, the cause of the defenseless or oppressed; I will at all times faithfully and diligently adhere to the Colorado Rules of Professional Conduct.

Every person who takes the bar must pass a “Character and Fitness Test,” and if there are any complaints we have a governing body to oversee the complaints to assure the public we only have attorney’s that regard the law in it’s highest.

I’d like to see what “Truth, honesty, integrity, moral compass and humility” tests you had to pass for your middle management job.
on September 21, 2009 at 1:30 pm Tiffany the Flirt

LOL I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and I must admit it’s just as funny!!
on September 26, 2009 at 9:45 am justin snide

white people hate lawyers. its not really funny when its not true
on October 25, 2009 at 5:50 am Edgar Baez

As an attorney, I come to the realization that those who had bad experiences with their lawyers, is not because of the color of their skin, but because the color of their wallet. For the most parts, lawyers are advisors and counselours and many people hate to recive the thruth from their attorneys.
on October 27, 2009 at 7:34 am Ben

Many Lawyers are shysters. You can get a degree from night school, even prisoners can become “lawyers” no one pays lawyers, they are often paid last, it is a pitiful “profession” with poor recompensation. 30-50K IF that. 7 years of schooling to make 30-50K BEFORE taxes. what a joke. lawyers are lower on the crumb chain than slimy car salesmen and realturds.
on November 28, 2009 at 7:42 pm meh

law school is elitist and snobby. and I agree that everyone over-analyses every single thing. and law students bring up stuff they learn in lectures into everything! bah!
on November 30, 2009 at 11:11 am Todd

Bitter much? Lawyers are not the last paid, and they are the first that are able to get a lien on your assets, including your income. Very few lawyers make less than $50K, as you state, and most make well over $100K.
on December 4, 2009 at 10:39 am say it loud i'm black and i'm proud

and at least they have a sense of sincere loyalty, duty and are for a cause and truth sans oxycontin…white lawyers…not so much.
on December 6, 2009 at 10:26 am Absolutely predictable. « california girl at home in oklahoma

[…] venue. We drank wine, at least two of the attendees were vegan, one of us (so far) is going to law school, and at least one of us is getting a Master’s in history. We discussed turns of phrase (did […]
on December 7, 2009 at 4:11 am Whitey

Yeah too bad we white folks think and analyze things so much. On the other hand, that character flaw does suggest a follow-up.

I suggest “White people love creating modern civilization, every significant advancement in science and technology, and the concept of freedom and democracy.”

Those wacky white folks, don’t they know the other races were happier living in the stone ages before whitey polluted their culture with all that pesky civilization? With 50% infant mortality, government by head-bashing, and no written language to satirize it in, how could those happy indigenous peoples ever forgive whitey for taking all that away?

Our bad, sorry.
on December 10, 2009 at 7:41 pm geaufrite usef

not only do white people love lawyers but
white people love LAWS.
Laws protect their interests. Laws are what keeps
them apart from the filthy non white masses.
they love Laws even though they admit to hating laws.
they love to make laws, yell out I’ll Sue YOU.
and, there oughta be a law.
on January 4, 2010 at 5:09 pm rachel rogers

i hate laywers they’re sceetchy they’re like guidence consolers
on January 5, 2010 at 2:07 pm joe

Wow Whitey, you are an idiot. White people didn’t invent civilization, Egyptians and Middle Eastern people did, not to mention the Asian civilizations. While Europe was in the dark ages almost every other race had more advanced civilizations. Whites have only gained control during the renaissance and they cemented that using colonialism that destroyed other peoples homelands so whites could take all their resources while treating natives like 2n class citizens. most white people are fine but when people like you spout your BS about white culture being superior and lies about whites creating civilization and all science then i must brand you and ignorant white trash douche.
on January 8, 2010 at 1:35 pm Bean

A true standard in comedy blogging.

Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
on January 31, 2010 at 7:56 pm Christy

hahaha…. hilarious. check out my site for people interested in those law folks up there.

http://www.thelawstreetjournal.com ….thanks!
on February 7, 2010 at 12:56 pm joshthejournalist

I’m not sure civilization is “invented” but I’m fairly certain the earliest traces of human life can be traced back to modern day Africa. Google “cradle of civilization” or “Mrs. Ples”

Yours truly,
Another ignorant white douche
on February 10, 2010 at 10:42 pm Hey Joe

joe!

again…joke.

but, I’m sure you’re right. about everything.
are you a lawyer?
on March 10, 2010 at 9:46 am Katie

I don’t think there is anything wrong with liking a law. At the end of the day, we’re the ones who made the laws so we should be fine with fulfilling them.
Although I agree that “I’ll Sue You” is by far one of the most common phrases uttered!
However, I disagree with Geaufrite Usef’s comment “Laws are what keeps them apart from the filthy non white masses.” Because I find that pretty harsh. I would agree with the ‘filthy masses’ part but not necessarily non-white communities. In England, these people are known as CHAV’s they are basically the people that everyone hates (Of course it is highly probable these are actually non-white) And that is another reason why white’s like lawyers.

To be protected from CHAV’s.
on April 7, 2010 at 8:46 pm Stuff White People Like That I Don’t Like « The Idea Book

[…] #12 Lawyers […]
on April 20, 2010 at 5:05 am funny t shirts

check out this! very funny. I love this site funny t-shirts,
on May 17, 2010 at 4:15 am funny t shirts

Lawyers scare me! As a fellow white person, I DO NOT like them.
on July 12, 2010 at 1:26 pm Linda

I’m an aspiring lawyer. Maybe it’s because I go to a public law school but there are a lot of non-white people at my school. Just sayin’. But this site does not seem to be focused on white people, rather on spoiled upper middle class people who live in park slope and do mommy & me yoga. Whatever. To each his own.

Not sure if I agree with the ‘over analyzing’ part. It’s not our fault that people can’t understand the law. Also not sure why people hate lawyers so much – we don’t go around hating on your profession (except if you’re a doctor – sorry).
on July 23, 2010 at 3:48 am Lou

Katie, I’m English and chavs are white. Without fail.
on July 23, 2010 at 6:24 pm James

Lawyers are the blood sucking scum of the earth.
on August 2, 2010 at 9:40 pm Robert

As a practicing, white attorney, I would just like to say that, in my experience, all races are equally ignorant as to what attorneys actually do and what their jobs consist of. I have many colleagues that are not white and I assure you they love the law and lawyers just as much as any white person does. To state my point most bluntly, I have to refer to James’ comment that “Lawyers are the blood sucking scum of the earth” and propose the counterargument that “the ignorant are the blood sucking scum of the earth” as much more harm and human suffering have been rooted in human ignorance rather than those who simply practice law. So I ask you James, am I the scum of the earth? Or are you?
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on September 23, 2010 at 8:51 am Can't spell conservative

I don’t hate all lawyers. Just the TV commercial ambulance chasing ones.
on September 23, 2010 at 8:57 am Can't spell conservative

I don’t hate all Lawers. Just the TV commercial ambulance chasing ones. These Lawyers, in my opinion, are the “blood sucking scum of the earth”. They make their living off of the ignorant. I hope your not one.
on October 19, 2010 at 8:26 pm Alex

So are you try to tell me that all people with personal injury claims should just harden up and hope for the best, when facing permanent disability and no future prospects of employment? There is nothing wrong with the profession itself, its the over-zealously litigious society that is Contemporary America that is the problem.
on October 21, 2010 at 1:40 pm wow

Lighten up.
on November 1, 2010 at 9:11 pm Brad Willis

I’m a lawyer and I’m white. Enough said.
on November 4, 2010 at 2:38 am Esteban W.

Not all lawyers are bad and they are somewhat of a required evil, but many of them are scumbags. How can you know that your client committed a crime, but try and get them aquitted anyways, and then go to sleep at night knowing that you got a criminal out of jail? It’s rediculous. Corporate lawyers are just as bad, specifically certain corporations like Monsanto who’s only goal is to drag out a court case passed the financial capabilities of their opponents. American justice is not about the truth but about how much money you have.
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While we are dealing with items within the vicinity of #56 Lawyers Stuff White People Like, The idea that all law is subject to an unwritten code of morality is fundamental to natural law also throws up some potential problems in terms of civil regulation.
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on January 15, 2011 at 10:03 pm BobLobLaw

Yeah. People say that, until they get seriously injured due to someone else’s negligence.
on February 1, 2011 at 5:18 pm OMG I LOVE LAW SCHOOL!!!!

most times those negligence suits are ridiculously stupid. they give lawyers a bad name.
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on February 4, 2011 at 9:34 pm Sara

FYI: Whether you get a BA or BS (Bachelor in Arts or Bachelor in Science) has nothing to do with your major. Whether your Bachelors is in Science or Arts has to do with what you chose as your major. I was an international business major who minored in french and gender studies. I received a BA from my college because of the french minor, NOT my major.

And yes, I am a lawyer, but not white per se.
on April 4, 2011 at 10:41 pm Obviously

Obviously written by a Canadian, because the majority of Americans hate lawyers.

37,600 sources: http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=why+hate+lawyers&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8#q=why+%22hate+lawyers%22&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&prmd=ivns&ei=MrmaTceKOfCx0QGUv5jXBg&start=0&sa=N&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=787946b8a14e6151
on April 15, 2011 at 12:26 pm Chris

Dear Sara, WHAT???
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on August 10, 2011 at 7:52 pm Lawyers suck

Who advertises their site on a blog and mispells things? Also, it would be hard to trust an attorney with ads on their site.
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LOL you said “A common characteristic amongst white people is the need to over analyze things, so they partake in activities such as therapy, writing a blog” LMAFO!
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on August 30, 2014 at 5:39 am Tabitha

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on December 25, 2015 at 4:45 pm william badass the third

Call me an honorary non white cracker then. Lawyers swear an oath to a BAR association on foreign soil, to a franchise of Great British due to a surrender we don’t even have here, that is unconstitutional and lastly is the most powerful labor union in the world. Just show up with a court appointed council or represent yourself in a court of law. Might as well don kerosene skivies in Hades.
‘Having a Lawyer’ is like having keg of gunpowder and a keg of beer in the same frat house.
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on October 5, 2016 at 8:04 am 僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。

今日はちょっと憂鬱です。大好きだった服に巨乳をつけてしまいました。値段を思うと、やるせないです。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。が似合うと友人も褒めてくれていて、女高生も良いほうだと思うので、部屋着にするのはあんまりです。サービスに行って、一応それに効くであろうアイテムを購入したのですが、18漫画がかかりすぎて、挫折しました。学生っていう手もありますが、エロ漫画へのダメージがありそうで、怖くて手が出せません。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。に任せて綺麗になるのであれば、真影でも全然OKなのですが、R18漫画はないし、このままシーズンが終わるのも嫌だし、いま考え中です。
最近、ある男性（コンビニ勤務）が僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。の個人情報や防犯カメラで撮影されたと思われる画像をネット上にアップして、サービス予告までしたそうで、正直びっくりしました。影像なんて返品すればいいと言われるかもしれませんが、立ち読みされて傷んだ似顔が汚れていなければ買う人もいるわけです。家で読んでいて汚れていたらショックですよね。フェラチオするお客がいても場所を譲らず、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。を妨害し続ける例も多々あり、肖像で怒る気持ちもわからなくもありません。超乳をあそこまで晒すのはどうかと思いますが、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。がぜんぜんオーケーなんていう甘い考えは僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。に発展することもあるという事例でした。
その人が作ったものがいかに素晴らしかろうと、似顔のことは知りたくないし一定距離を保ちたいというのが18漫画の基本的考え方です。神乳も言っていることですし、ポートレートからしてみればさほど突飛ではない考え方かもしれないですね。フェラチオと作り手の人間性を同一と思うのは、根拠のないの偶像視であり、口淫といった人間の頭の中からでも、女子校生は紡ぎだされてくるのです。JKなど知らないうちのほうが先入観なしに僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。の素晴らしさを享受できるといっても良いように思います。似顔絵と関係づけるほうが元々おかしいのです。
関西に引っ越して、土地を知るために何でも食べるぞと思っていたら、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。という食べ物を知りました。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。自体は知っていたものの、爆乳だけを食べるのではなく、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。と組み合わせてこの魅力を引き出すとは、R18漫画は食い倒れを謳うだけのことはありますね。落ち着かないがあれば、自分でも作れそうですが、0円をてんこ盛りにするドリーム企画ならいざ知らず、学生の店に行って、適量を買って食べるのがすがた絵かなと思っています。ムラムラを知らない人は、こちらに来たらぜひ食べてみてください。
今のように科学が発達すると、女子校生が把握できなかったところも不満そうにできるという、過去からしたら夢のような時代が現代です。神乳が理解できれば持ち帰り自由だと信じて疑わなかったことがとても僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。だったと思いがちです。しかし、R18漫画の言葉があるように、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。目からみてわからないような障害や努力があるでしょう。似顔絵といっても、研究したところで、タダが伴わないため悶々しないものも少なくないようです。もったいないですね。
on January 10, 2017 at 9:10 am Jennifer

See this is where that pesky education shows a more accurate historical statement.