White people love being outside, but often during the week they don’t have time for marathons or ten mile bike rides. The answer is to play co-ed sports. This provides white people with a valuable opportunity to make friends with other white people and maybe even find a few dates.
Many white people play in their first co-ed league in college. It is considered good form to talk about how you played in one of these leagues where the best player on your team was a girl. This will make everyone feel better and remind them of the benefits of supporting women’s athletics.
As white people move into careers, the co-ed leagues become important tools for bonding with co-workers and making valuable career connections. Popular co-ed sports include kickball, softball, flag football and soccer. Although kickball used to be kind of cool, it’s sort of played out. So unless it’s a work league, it’s not really worth joining a league anymore.
On the surface, these events seem like friendly contests with everyone having a laugh. But these events are lurking with danger, and within them exists the possibility to ruin your reputation and hard earned status with white people.
If you are a poor athlete, rest easy. Co-ed sports were made for you!
But if you are reasonably skilled in sports, you have to be extremely careful how you approach your co-ed matches. If you try TOO hard (bowling over a female catcher, throwing a kickball EXTRA hard at someone) you come off as an aggressive, crazy maniac. On the other hand, if you don’t try at all you come off as a jerk who thinks they are above the game. The only solution is to approach the game like a point-shaving basketball player – play hard enough to be convincing, but not hard enough to win.
If you follow these rules, you will find yourself invited to the mandatory post-game drinks at a local bar where you will be photographed many times.
Stuff White People Like 
The only thing you left out is the unfortunate truth it is secretly frustrating to White People that the best players in the league will always be Not-White People.
Actually what you lef out is that white men enjoy Co-Ed Sports so that we can feel up white females with impunity. This is also known as foreplay. The after game drinks are when the couples form and splinter off from the main group. This invariably leads to consensual sex for about half the couples and date rape for the other half. This goes doubly true for co-ed sports at predominantly white (read: all) small, private Liberal Arts colleges.
“bowling over a female catcher”
Yes, a friend of mine in a co-ed softball game, trying to score from third on a popfly to the shortstop, sent a female catcher to the hospital by bowling her over like Pete Rose flattening Ray Fosse in the 1970 All-Star Game.
If white people like this, than they will probably like the movie ‘Feast of Love’ too. Not only has it got relationship developments at co-ed games, but it also has Morgan Freeman’s voice-over in true Shawshank Redemption style.
Guilty again. I’m in a kickball league. It’s permissable to throw the red ball at girls as hard as you want to get them out. This is pretty much the goal of the entire game, see if you can drop a 90lbs yoga teacher and not get prosecuted.
this post is so politically incorrect, black peoples play co-ed sports too, just look at Terrelle Pryor dunking over this girl
Your next topic of whitepeople should be that coed leagues are for adults. For the children of whitepeople, it is about playing sports that blacks do not play (soccer, lacrosse, field hockey, crew, volleyball, baseball, golf, softball, swimming, tennis, gymnastics). The children of whitepeople also play sports that require starting at a very early age (three year old gymnasts and swimmers) and that require lessons, coaching, and summer camps.
The only thing you left out is the unfortunate truth it is secretly frustrating to White People that the best players in the league will always be Not-White People
Start playing hockey.
fucking stupid ass. i played on one coed league which was very multiracial, in fact the leaders were a hispanic man and a black woman. this is so fucking stupid.
I guess I’ll have to take up sailing to avoid any black men or hispanic women.
Monroe,
How multiracial is “very?” I need a %!
meaning there were a lot of people of different races involved
sorry… no percentage available.
Co-ed sports are just fine until that one 7 foot, 200 pound bull dyke comes in swinging like Sammy Sosa.
BTW, awesome blog. Very very awesome. There ya go…another thing white people like: the word “very”.
The absolute zenith of white co-ed sport is that abomination known simply as Ultimate (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultimate_frisbee)
Only us white folk could take a simple past-time, add a competitive element to it, and give it a ridiculously superlative name like “Ultimate!!”
hmm. the best ultimate player i knew was a vietnamese woman.
i nominate hash runs for awesome unknown co ed sports white people like. mostly because ultimate was already pointed out.
I’ve been reading the blog, and realized that just about everything attributed to “white people” (and I agree with just about all of it) can be attributed to Barack Obama, and his borg-like supporters. Does that mean that Obama really is white?
Thanks for letting me know I was a frustrated white person because all of the best players in the league are non-whites… I didn’t know I felt that way… My mistake.
Oh the madness and mayhem that follows when you use the word ‘white’. The blog isn’t called ‘Stuff White People Like that Other People Don’t’.
superdestroyer, too true. In a town full of basketball players, be sure that little Becky and Steve will be signed up for synchronized swimming and dressage.
All good n well, but what about Real White People Sports like Nascar, NHL and UFC?
This blog title is misleading: what you are in fact referring to and mocking is a certain subsection of white people in North America (mainly the US and to a lesser extent the non-Francophone parts of Canada), who are liberal/left-wing poseurs with above average incomes.
Most whites in the UK (where I am from) are nothing like that! Indeed, many whites from America itself are nothing like the whites you mock here. Moreover, whites from the non-anglophone world would hardly recognise any of the stereotypes you portray here. Talk about ethnocentric!
I suspect you are an Angry Asian Male (AAM) who has been brought up and educated among upper-middle class whites, subjected to their patronising behaviour and seen most of “your” fellow Asian women hook up with white men. This blog is your way of expressing your anger and getting some measure of revenge against the whites who have bothered you for so long. It’s funny and all, but please remember the target of your lampooning is a very narrow sub-section of the Caucasian race as a whole.
Oh, and Asians can be just as funny and weird too.
Caucasians…funny and weird? This could be the start of many blogs to come. It’s nice to see a blog where whites are in fact a culture and not the culture. Get it?
[…] #67 Co-Ed Sports https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/02/14/67-co-ed-sports/ […]
I am in total agreement with the posts above…the author of this blog is ASIAN.
This blog reeks of
“Asian American (I am almost 99% it is Korean-American) Guy who realizes that the Fixed Action Patters of Upper Middle Class, Urban, Liberal White People” is the standard target and pinncale lifestyle to which almost all wealthy and educated people in America strive….and is a bit peeved at it so decides to poke fun of it in a light, but still somewhat derisive manner”
For all of you who mistakenly believe that the author is black or hispanic, I quote the famous SNL skit: “Nigga Please!”
Although Black or hispanic people poke fun at and find much of white culture quirky and hilarious, they do not write blogs which dive so deep into showcasing white culture and critique in a way that exudes insecurity or a vent-up “grudge” as this one does. You can see that that none of the items in this blog are really far from fact. Alot of the items of in the list do indeed apply to a very large section of white population in America. The author does not really lie or distort reality. However, that’s just it. Only Asians find the reality of white culture to be bothersome to their pre-programmed prejudices of what is superior. Hispanics and blacks would be more likely to make up and totally distort the reality of white culture and make jokes about it and leave it at that since they really don’t care what white people do as long as it doesn’t infringe upon their enjoyment of life. In other words, Hispanics and blacks are perfectly fine with the whites wanting to recycle, drive Priuses, live by the water, shop at Whole Foods or what not because if they were making as much money or obtaining the same level of financial comfort, many black and Hispanics would probably want to do the same thing too. Or, they would choose not to, but it doesn’t bother them. Simply put, black and hispanics are comfortable being themselves and with white people being different. They really don’t have any dreams or illusions of black or hispanic culture dominating the “stuff that white people like culture” and really don’t get annoyed that liberal, urban white culture is what it is.
However, with Asians, it is a completely different story. Asians have this strange underlying “grudge” or I should say, “inferiority complex” with any culture or people that are different from themselves but hold a dominance in the society in which both live. Thus, this reality does not fit well with the natural competitive and insecure nature that personififes so much of the Asian immigrant culture in the western world. Unlike black and hispanics, the Asian population in western countries has already reached the same level of economic/financial success that white people hold, and in Asian culture, there is no greater feeling of enjoyment than seeing yourself becoming the dominant power. Thus, because Asians share pretty much the same socio-economic status as whites, they are much aware and exposed to white, urban, liberal blue-state culture since they probably work alongside these types of white people and probably have gone to the same wealthy, high ranked, hippie universities full of white people that this blog ridicules. Not too many black and hispanics have reached this position to be so close and neck to neck with the white population that is the target of this blog. That is the diference.
Thus, Asians see that in this country (USA) or whichever country in which Asians and whites are neck to neck, that despite sharing almost the same economic status with that of the white population, the standard for hipness, wealth, and whatever is considered “cool”, fashionable or trendy is basically “stuff that urban, progressively-minded white people like”…not stuff that “rich, successful, science/engineering background-minded Asian people like.” This reality conflicts and does not bode well with what these Asians have believed throughout their entire lives from birth which is that “Our Asian culture is superior to any caucasian culture because our race is the most intelligent and most beautiful in the world”. It is a commonly known fact that Asian culture in the form of parents, schools, media drill this message of racial superiority into their heads from birth. Thus, when these kids grow up and actually see that reality of the world is totally different from what their masters in their little Asian enclave of racial superiority has told them, they get confused, jealous and spiteful to the point where they need to find tribal comfort in congregating with other Asians and finding humor in telling each other how funny it is that white people’s culture is so different from theirs.
The irony is, however, that in secret or behind closed door amonst themselves, alot of Asians actually yearn for the same things found on this list…especially living by the water or shopping at high end groceries. However, they are just irritated that they came from a culture in which their families could not afford to or did not give a rat’s ass about the environment, recycling, helping poor people in third world countries, eating organic food, helping causes, going snowboarding, renovating a house, throwing dinner parties, travelling to exotic locales, etc., Granted it is not their fault because as immigrants to a new country, their parents did not have the time nor luxury of doing these things because they were too busy trying to make money or push their kids at school to learn Calculus by age 10.
Instead, these Asian kids grew up seeing TV shows from their motherland countries and their families living a different culture: obessing about money, buying expensive designer name brand goods with the label on the front to show off (Gucci, Guess, Dolce Gabanna, etc.), smoking cigarettes in front of their girlfriends, driving nothing other than Mercedes Benz and BMWs, listening to cheezy ballad or R&B based pop music, striving to be a rich doctor, never thinking about travelling to third world countries (only places where they want to travel is K-town in LA, NYC, or anywhere which is considered “fashionable”), etc. Becuase they grew up seeing this type of lifestyle and culture as what is cool and what every normal person strives to acheive, they are heartbroken and angry when they realize that noone in upper class America considers this type of lifestyle to be “cool” or reflecting of high class or wealth. Thus, you get the grudge and blogs like this.
Now of course, before anyone jumps on my back, I know I did ALOT of racial stereotyping and applied a huge range of broad labels to Asians in general. However, my response to that is, “I really don’t care.” Why? Because I can. The reason is that although I am not a member of this group, I spent almost all of my 34 years growing up surrounded by Asian Americans with almost 70% of my childhood friends being Asian, going to school with them side by side, eating dinner and spending weekends upon weekends at their houses with their families, and just knowing their culture inside out. I can even speak Mandarin and Korean even though I am a white boy. Now, I will say that almost half of my close friends now are Asian. However, none of these people subscribe or are victims to the mental disease of insecurity and inferiority complex which I described above. In fact, these guys are “whiter” than me in so many ways and unlike the Asians which I describe above, they really don’t care that “white culture” is different from what they grew up with and really don’t care that it is the dominant standard for what is considered trendy and characteristic of wealth and high-class. In other words, they are absolutely comfortable with themselves. Thus, I want to say that NOT ALL ASIANS ARE LIKE WHAT I DESCRIBE ABOVE.
However, I would like point out three points in the list of this blog that are dead giveaways that the author is Asian and not black or hispanice. Here they are:
#68 Divorce
– Please. I think more blacks or hispanics get divorced than whites. No black or hispanic would be foolish to cite this as something characteristic of being something only a white person would do. However, I can’t even count how many times I have heard the endless adage from Asians saying how terrible and inferior white American culture is because the divorce rate is so high in this country. They insist that Asian culture is that of higher morals because divorce is uncommon. Well, I guess it would be that way since the only other alternative for an Asian women would be to become a prostitute and outcasted by society for the rest of her life since a divorced woman has as much value as a slab of T-bone steak 10 days past the expiration date. No wonder you see so many loveless Asian couples who stay together just for superficial face value while the husband goes and screws whores at the hostess bar on a weekly basis while the wife flies to Europe or Thailand with her girlfriends for a romp in the sack with locals. Meanwhile, the kids grow up seeing such a screwed up household and become permanently scarred for life so they end up jaded, angry, and insecure. Thus, many of them end up writing blogs like this. Oh well, but according to them, this type of relationship is waaaay better than divorce.
#47 Art Degrees
– Again, while in university, I was astounded by the number of Asian students who told me how they hated courses in English lit, history, or any of the humanities courses which required them to write. Thus, it’s not surprising that I found the opportunity to make alot of good money from Asian high school kids who would pay me to write their college application essays since they had no writing skills whatsoever to complement their 800 math SAT scores. I’m not talking about international students either but rather Asian-Americans. It’s strange that even with the privledge of having grown up in an English speaking educational system, so many Asians have difficulty in expressing themselves outside of number or equations. I think this stems from the fact that they are conditioned within their families to think that the only respectable disciplines or professions are ones that use science and math. Any other academic discipline such as arts and the humanities is for the inferior white race. Thus, this becomes ingrained in their heads. However, the caveat is that when it comes time to apply to Harvard or Princeton, they realize that their high grades in math/science and 800 math SAT scores don’t mean jack when they also carry poor grades in English or low verbal SAT scores. I guess that’s where I come in. In any case, many an Asian student who was denied his/her chance at Harvard, Stanford or Yale because of their weakness in the arts or humanities has expressed to me their utmost hatred in all of their high school English teachers, college essays, etc and vow that they would like to exterminate any person who majors in such disciplines and gets a better paying job (probably a lawyer) than themselves. Dead giveaway. Blacks and Hispanics don’t give a shit about who majors in what.
#42 Sushi and #58 Japan
– Actually, these two may be more of a confirmation that the blog writer is definitely NOT Japanese but most likely Korean or Chinese American. However, that in itself serves as a strengthening evidence that the writer is definitely Asian and not hispanic or black because there is no way in hell that a black and hispanic would know or even care to subdivide the Asian fetish that alot of white people have. To black and hispanics, a white person fawning over anything Japanese is just an “Asian fetish.” However, to a Korean or Chinese person, a white person fawning over anything Japanese is just one more cherry on the top of the pudding of insult to their own culture which they believe to be superior to that of Japan’s. To Korean-Americans and Chinese-Americans, Japanese are pretty much at the same level as white people are in terms of targets of jealousy, insecurity, disdain and their grudge. I really don’t think any black or hispanic would give a frog’s fat ass whether or not white people preferred Japanese culture/food to that of Koreans or Chinese but for the Koreans and Chinese, it’s just makes them squirm even more with rage and jealous grudge. Spend any time with a Korean or Chinese and they will tell you that the thing that they hate more than Japan itself is the fac t that Japan enjoys a very popular image throughout the first world and is considered “cool” and “hip” among wealthy, urban, intelligent whites. They really don’t like it that kimchi, soju, Korean soap operas, turtle boats, and Panda express do not conjure up the same image of elegance and chicness that sushi, “Lost In Translation”, samurai and sake do for white people. Definitely, it would not be on this list if it was a non-Asian.
For a better idea of what I am talking about, look at the website below. It’s chock full of Asian American males who are venting their anger and frustration at being the little man on the totem pole in American society. Their posts describe their laments but also their dreams and fantasies of finally being able to turn into the second Ming Emperior who will destroy all white males and reestablish themselves as the ultimate alpha males in society. It’s a good laugh.
http://www.thefighting44s.com/
“Hispanics and blacks would be more likely to make up and totally distort the reality of white culture and make jokes about it and leave it at that since they really don’t care what white people do as long as it doesn’t infringe upon their enjoyment of life…–Tom Sawyer
As a black person, I can say that this is definitely true. The topic of “what whites are doing” never comes up in my circles. Not even among the white people I know.
In other words, Hispanics and blacks are perfectly fine with the whites wanting to recycle, drive Priuses, live by the water, shop at Whole Foods or what not because if they were making as much money or obtaining the same level of financial comfort, many black and Hispanics would probably want to do the same thing too.”
I’m not interested in living by the water but I (and most blacks I know) do recycle, love the Whole Foods market. But, I only know of one black person who drives a Prius. Some of the activities listed on these posts can be applied to all races…even regularly applied.
Are the people trying to guess clander’s race and gender completely unaware that they’re being as prejudiced as she is?
And also that they’re fucking stupid, because she has an about page with a picture of her at the top of this site?
As a white person, I’m saddened that I’m so insanely klutzy that I have no real way to participate in these white yuppie insider activities.
At one job, I was invited to play basketball with the boss and his pals. I politely declined since I certainly would only cause resentment by my lack of sporty skills. I’m sure it would’ve earned me a demotion. If only had had the requisite yuppie skills (that’s what we’re talking about here, by the way, since apparently white=yuppie according to this author).
I’m sure I’d be yachting with only white people, eating gourmet cupcakes and walking my 1.7 dogs by now if only I had be sportily enabled and had climbed the brown nose ladder with the boss and his pals.
Oh well, I can only dream that white dream of being a yuppie.
Hehehe…obviously, I must have touched a nerve in some Asian boys, eh LDW?
Guess it hits too close to home.
But if you are reasonably skilled in sports, you have to be extremely careful how you approach your co-ed matches. If you try TOO hard (bowling over a female catcher, throwing a kickball EXTRA hard at someone) you come off as an aggressive, crazy guy.
You were speaking to me with these words, my friend. I was with you until you assumed I was a “guy”… then I was thrown off. I guess I shouldn’t be reading this at all, should I? Can’t you restrict your log-on to “white men only”? It’ll make it a lot simply for us “others” to know where we stand.
Thanks,
Other
Re: Reg Dunlop’s comment, another post should be “what white people consider very multi-racial/diverse”.
In Seattle where I live, one black or Latino person makes the event/organization/private school very multi-racial. 50% Asian is NOT multi-racial, unless they’re wearing traditional clothes and Asian food is served.
Hmm, is Martial Arts included in the co-ed sports thing? Or is it separate within the list? Come to think of it, I have to wait until next week before I no longer have my WHITE belt! *urgh*
You forget that many of these after work co-ed leagues also involve heading to a suitable bar afterwards to enjoy overpriced bottled micro-brews with one’s coworkers after a grueling 45 minute game of 16″ softball.
stuffblackpeoplelike – eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike – keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
[…] …So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you. #65 Co-Ed Sports […]
Stuff Black People Like:
-Being Uneducated
-Guns
-Rape
-Stealing
-General Crime
-Money
-Escalades
-Crack
-AIDs
Just a few hilarious ideas I’ve come up with if you ever decide to expand your site.
I’m white and I hate playing football and baseball with girls. Let’s get together and play some sports, since I’m as cool as you now because we have the same tastes.
This is another fine example of your insipient frame of mind and the temporally salacious tongue of your true nature when speaking about the subterfuge of the state of affairs…etc. etc.
Step 1: Read Post
Step 2: Laugh at Post
Step 3: Continue surfing internet and not taking joke websites too seriously.
well, white people like co-ed sports because in competitive sports we have to compete with barbaric, subhuman niggers.
So, Jordan… have we made out at the bar after a kickball game? It’s pretty true about the co-ed sports. And I think it’s pretty funny.
This is a fantastic blog!
But you forgot an important rec league sport. Dodgeball! As a female, there is nothing better than nailing a male in the face to make up for being bowled over at 2nd base because the dude 3 times my size is pissed that a cute girl like me got him out. 🙂
OMG i just came across this blog and all i gotta say is that this shit is freakin hillarious….but i’m coming to the conclusion that the writer of this blog is white as one of the stuffwhitepeoplelike is Writing blogs! lol
Here is a good one.
White people like fly fishing, especially with expensive and authentic gear from Orvis or expensive clothing from LL Bean and disdain those who go into the streams with small spinning rods & “garden hackle” (worms).
I just signed up for one of these leagues, not even thinking how pathetic it is going to be. I wish i had read this before signing up.
I play co-ed ball hockey. But, I’m white and from Canada, so playing some form of hockey is like, the law or something.
Just a note to Ultimate players:
Non-Ultimate players do NOT want to hear lusty tales of your frisbee-throwing prowess at parties. Please stop. Listening to a blow-by-blow description of your last game, to us, is about as interesting as listening to a Dungeons and Dragons player recount his paladin’s epic battle with the Orcs of Rag-Nog in 1993.
Also – both of these activities are tools of the devil.
i work in a homeless shelter, and we have a lot of guilty white donors, who want to save the homeless children without actually talking to or looking at them. that being said, the white people who come in to give their old things they no longer want or some nonsense their children wont wear this season, are always wearing clothing by NORTH FACE. white people love NORTH FACE, often regardless of the weather outside.
also, subarus. especally in berkeley. dogs that can fit in handbags are another.
this blog, by the way? amazing.
This is one of my favorite entries on my favorite blog.
An unofficial demographic of the kickball leagues that I have played on in the past few years
89% White
10% Asian
and about the same ratio of Blacks as you would expect to find at either a Dido, Bare Naked Ladies or the Bridge School Benefit.
I like the description as playing as hard as a point shaving basketball player.
Another apect of this is the phony glorification of the WNBA + Womens College Hoops.
In any discussion of them the “enlightened” white people will say something like “They play real defense, not like the NBA”.
As if one of these chick teams could stop a good High School Boys team.
And Pat Summmit is always described as “The winningest college basketball coach in history”. As if her accomplishments in a league with competition as deep as a Petrie dish is the same as the greats in Men’s college hoop.
You are absolutely right, white people DO love co-ed sports. Soccer was how I met my boyfriend!
Pat Summitt’s accomplishments should be compared to John Wooden’s more than current men’s coaches, to be sure. Wooden won title after title by beating two or three good teams per year, if that.
[…] Canada” (a friend of mine did this after Bush “stole” his first election), “#65 Co-Ed Sports” (one of my favorites), and “#62 Knowing what’s best for poor […]
Actually most british men abhor co-ed sports. You can’t tackle properly and the banter is soured by wannabe groupies. I don’t want my women to like sport, sport is hairy and smelly and violent and forms 75% of my bear-day. I want the time I spend with women to be interesting, artistic and in some way feminine. Sport is the only thing we as men have left to allow us to express our barbaric, tribal nature.
And, crucially, you can’t tackle women.
This is hillarious… But there are a few white boys with a little athletisism. I had a full scholarship to U of Wisconsin for football and played d-end. I was 280 and ran a 4.80 40 yard dash and had a 34 inch vertical jump. They had a big board in the weighroom that listed all the personal bests at each position. I owned the vertical jump and hang clean events during my time there. I would give the black guys a pretty hard time asking them how they could let a white guy hold the vertical jump title. That one never got old..
Man, I feel like a chump. I just joined my company’s softball team. This blog is hilarious. Thanks for making my day a little brighter.
you were there when presty bowled me over at home? wow. who ARE you??
kickball is back in the ‘hattan.
wake up people!
jghisdugiagdikaoydyuaihjksdhasgiiUGDJSGFYDFUSGUGFOGFUIFAYUVFJGB.MNLSKHJBVV,BVFJSDMSBXCMDJKBNDSJGABDFKBHJKagKJDMDBN,VXCHJFCHJABVNDFBNMASDV ANMSVXHJSCFBSDNMFBMDNSCBNM,JAGLAKEUSAIAYDEGJKASGKJLFGBFJKAGF
jbuijbhiugfnvgn-wrhuonhdgbsdgb
Holy @$#% IM WHITE!!!!
All this time I thought I was a beaner…
I am white. I love co-ed sports. I have a white friend who plays in an Asian softball league (he’s one of their two allotted white people on the team) – and they’re damn good!
My co-ed floor hockey team is 90% white. Interestingly, the volunteer group I’m in is about 40% asian. I don’t know what that says about us white people. We’re selfish?
asians have nice titties
Dear everyone who doesn’t get it – the more multi-racial a coed league is, the more white people like it. It’s a great way to make non-white friends, who you can then mention in conversation to white people to gain status.
Well, this certainly confirms what I’ve long joked about — I’m totally a banana, or twinkie, if you will. Yellow (Chinese) on the outside, and white on the inside.
There’s bunches (ha) of us playing Ultimate in the Silicon Valley. I just hate it when some of that one guy actually cries out “Ultimate!” when he pulls the disc. What’s that about?
Oooh, and they love skiing too.
I’d love to see a piece on Renaissance Fairs. White people seem to be drawn to anything midievil through the 18th century.
Brilliant site.
Na what you left out is religion. White people like someone who knows bible verses.
There’s something wonderfully humbling about this blog.
I’d love to see the irony of an entry regarding how white people love blogging (because they do).
whoever wrote this, is a fucking idiot.
Have you, oh judger of “white” culture, ever lived in a one bedroom apartment with your father as a pre-pubescent girl, dropped out of school when you were fourteen to support your father? Have you lived in the ghetto where you get called cracker, white girl, ghost face, etc. etc. etc., because I don’t make any generalizations based on race, life can be fucking hard for anyone, asshole, oh yeah, my name is Andrea Hammond. Granted my “race” hasn’t been singled out, by any other predominant “race”, so fucking do something…I’m trying.
ja, wir leben ander lange wissen (german)
i would know: i live abroad (in germany)
ha ha
you forgot about how much white people like computers and especially the little emo-cons
it was funny as hell too, i was listening to massive attack the WHOLE time i was readin this…
|
(P.S. we also love CAPS)
AND UR ALL BEING STEREOTYPICAL – LET IT GO DAMMIT! ITS FUNNY
sincerily,
Young White Male
Holy cow, if I published on the web or otherwise about blacks, as you do whites, I’d have the NAACP, Al Sharpton, JJ, and every other saying what a racist I was. How come you can get way with starting every sentence with ‘The problem with white people is….’
????
Umm, did anyone ever think the blogger is white?
Just a thought…
yeah refer to post #42
that last sentence was absolutely spot on. wow.
I can’t believe the most obvious Co-ed REDICULOUSLY White “sport” activities were left out — ULTIMATE FRISBEE & HACKY SACK!!!!!!
White boys love Asian girls. White girls hate Asian girls!
White people like Fanny Packs..
They love them !
white people are still more civilized than the blacks!!!!!!
would you please leave the rest of the world of white people out of you short seeing, middle american assessment. Oh, of course….only americans call themselves “white people”….You only see middle class white people…why? I am gonna guess YOU are one of these people.
I think this site is pretty funny, but overall I think a lot of this stuff describes yuppies and/or general douche-bags, and of any race, really. That being said, I think it’s all pretty funny. Though some of these posts take things way too seriously and become overtly racist, unlike the author who keeps things pretty light.
you forgot dogeball leagues!
[…] through the posts it looks like the other is providing the top 100 things white people like. #65 may explain why Amanda & I enjoy coed volleyball. […]
i was on a co-ed waterpolo team once.
this one girl really liked to play defense.
all up on u….
true story. she was kinda cute too!
although, the more i remember it, it was still kinda F minus
http://www.garbarrassing.com
other F minus wonderful entertainment for your children
Still doesnt explain that most white people in america are obese.
[…] Co-Ed Sports. […]
I like Dido and played on a co-ed sports team . I am that 1%.
A ten mile bike ride takes 30 minutes.
For the most part, I think this site is pretty funny, even more so because 1) I’m not white (thus not on the receiving end of the jokes) and 2) I often notice white people doing things on this list and wonder what on earth they’re thinking.
To set the record straight, this site blatantly stereotypes people, and when it says “White People” it really is only referring to “Artsy, Trendy, Moderately Rich White People.”
For example, one of my white coworkers recently bought a Toyota Prius, for exactly the same reasons as listed on this blog. At the time, I had never even heard of a Prius. This guy was acting like the car was the third coming of Jesus. I honestly don’t give a sh*t about a car’s MPG. I care about how it looks, and a moving bug-box is not my idea of bad ass. I wanna know about the RPM, which stands for Rotations (of spinning rims) per minute. Okay, I’m slightly exaggerating but not a whole lot. My point is, I’ve noticed alot of the things on this list are true (for the aforementioned demographic).
There are so many things on this list that I have at one time or another seen white people performing and have always wondered “Am I missing something? Why would anyone want to do that?”
For instance:
Watersports, or even just being around water (the lake, the beach, the sinkhole, you name it, white people like to go to it. Unlike alot of black people, I actually know how to swim, but I’ll be damned if I enjoy it.
Vegetarianism: Every vegetarian I know is either white or an oreo. ‘Nuff said.
Hating their Parents: From an early age, my parents would whoop my ass if I talked back to them. To this day, I have never seen a black kid scream at their parents (and come away unscathed).
I don’t need to recite the whole list, you get the idea. And I’m not trying to say that white people are the only people who do random ass sh*t for no good reason.
I’m black and I:
-Am quite fond of fried chicken. This picture describes it. http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/8619/hahaho9.jpg
-Think spinning rims are cool and would be sittin’ on 24’s if I didn’t think it would hold back my professional career.
-Probably am guilty of every other stereotype too (Although I don’t like blonde chicks)
Oh my goodness, this is so true. But you forgot to mention Ultimate Frisbee!
you should write a section on frisbee.
EVERYONE loves co-ed sports. I mean, come on. The number 1 thing a black guy loves is pussy. So he wouldn’t like co-ed sports?
What’s better than playing sports while ogling some shapely ass? Or a nice pair of tits?
I love playing nude twister. If I can play long enough, I can get laid 3 or 4 times per game. Try it in the dark with a strobe light.
Some of the guys cheat by acting color blind. all 3 wholes at one time. Ouch!
hey 😉 AlotOfVagina
what is your address. I’ll play you anytime. O wait how old are you? my cock is 12 inches – is that ok?
“Ultimate” (frisbee) needs to be added to this list. So dumb.
@24 Tom Sawyer: umm, chill?
Look here…
This site is mediocre at best. It is mildly entertaining. Half of the items on this list are garbage. The effort and thought put into this list is pretty embarrassing.
if you want some actual funny entertainment/blog/writing/insightful/great stuff
http://www.garbarrassing.com
go for it.
Yo Clander – you forgot TWO huge things white people love:
G U N S !!!!!!!!
VIDEO-GAMES !!!!!!!
White people love to blow shit up. I hate hunting animals but people, thats another story. Show me a fucked up arab or communist bastard and I’ll shoot em’.
“Remember Guns don’t kill people, I do.”
Co-ed Kickball is most definately not played out. It’s the whitest thing a person can do If they are a 20-something living in Washington DC.
* Moriarty’s Lady Pintos ooze class. Seriously, from the coach on down, that’s a good group. After his team’s loss, Joe Bailey made a point of shaking hands with each Kirtland Central player, even doing so in the tunnel on the way to the locker room. And he spent the final few seconds giving a big thumbs- up to the officials. Then again, the thumbs- up might have been in jest. Who knows, maybe it was a digit other than the thumb? It looked good from across the court. Also, the Pinto players were gracious in…
You forgot to mention that when white people have to pick the teams for co-ed sports, guess who the first people they pick are? Yep, black people.
a ten mile bike ride takes about 45 minutes.
Yeah. If we’re talking culturally. I’m also mixed raced and most of this applies to me or people I am friends with. Although I count as one of the people making the group more ‘ethnically acceptable’.
You’re stupid. The site is a joke. Learn to take a joke.
I pooped my pants
[…] #65 Co-Ed Sports […]
not funny
lol
Well jeez, you just threw this whole article to shit! Now it’s going to have to be removed. And to think that I wasted my time reading it, it’s a good thing I saw this post.
Thanks, my monitor is covered with coffee now. Nice.
My girlfriend plays Ultimate. In fact, according to this blog she is the whitest person in the known universe. She drives a volkswagen passat tho, not a prius.
Matt, you are the “wrong kind of white”. Sorry.
You’re a racist.
Were you still allowed to wear wind pants? I like wind pants.
Somebody tell this guy to get a life. Perhaps a nice jog is in order.
But true.
[…] picture I stole from stuffwhitepeoplelike’s description of coed sports. We don’t have a pitcher’s mound for example. But the fence and lights look kind of […]
I’m white and I love coed sports. Especially with hot topless female coeds.
I checked out the asian ‘fighting 44’ site, but couldn’t find the porn. Yust what are you trying to do to this white person?
I hate people who laugh at there own jokes. it’s so annoying, especialy in print.
LOL. I love that this blog makes the distinction between “types of whites” lol
[…] it’s so white it’s gotten two honorable mentions on stuff white people like. (see #65: Co-Ed Sports and #4: Assists). how are people supposed to respond when we show up wearing three-piece suits […]
and the word “awesome”.
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Truth, Equality, and Justice?
http://www.survival-international.org
I’m half-white, and I never joined the co-ed softball league we had at the think-tank where I used to work. In any case, I’m more of a spectator when it comes to sports. Maybe I’m not white enough.
Really, I thought the point was bagging the mouth breathers who think violence against women is funny whilst wearing the pointiest shoes possible. See ya at the game, little man.
Yeah, only upper middle class need apply.
Dude, your thesaurus is broken.
What’s wrong with mixed doubles?
Ghost face?
Gay white boys especially love Asian girls.
snort — dressage — do I know what this is *because* I’m white? I don’t even like horses, but I know what dressage is, sigh….
Not my favorite one–funny nonetheless. And true I suppose…
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
Except for the occasional refugees swimming north to Florida.
2 dorar blow sucky sucky, 5 dorar ray me rove you rong time!
putting the cock in caucasion
Only if they are a bright color, such as purple or aqua, and have a matching sporty windbreaker jacket.
Ahh la loca, besides pretending to be of latino decent with their internet names, white people also LOVE being anti-establishment. Pretty much ANY idea or person which develops a large following is immediately WRONG. And not one of the followers knows how to think for themselves.
I’m black/latino is and I had to Google dressage just now… So yeah, it’s a “white thing”.
what about ultimate frisbee? might it not merit its’ own description? it is pretty much all a white student learns at any college in california, oregon, washington or several east coast states. especially expensive, private liberal arts schools (i.e., lewis & clark, reed, colby, bates, etc). just a thought.
so true.
-private liberal arts college graduate
yea, exactly like the time i almost broke thise girls nose blocking her pass in.. ultimate frisbee.. in private liberal arts college coed league play.. just like pete rose too
oh white people..
oh man i just posted about my female-beating experiences playing the very awesome game of ultimate at my p.l.a.c. (private liber…) thanks for making my whiteness feel more accepted
this is kind of like the post on asian girls producing half white half asian babies… who invariably act white same with ‘Bama.
-See also George Carlin bit on ‘happens to be’ and ‘openly’
(happens to be jewish; openly gay, duh) related to Colin Powell who is ‘openly white, but only happens to be black..’
i smell a BO coup of that political title.
thats funny ‘cuz i thought the same thing at first.. but correct me if im wrong but the author(s) are all well-humored white folk.. poking fun at the only ‘culture’ left to get poked. its all good
maybe some asian guy took this guys job by being less fun and harder working.. sounds like someone peed in someones wheaties for sure.. a little more than historical perspective there… sounds like unchecked aggression issues.. seein anyone about that?.. whites can go to therapists even before the divorce.. like.. if they dont like asians.. a lot.. maybe or have deeper personal inadequacy issues or somthing..
-Stewie for governor!
dr. bone:
I feel the need to point out that you have a grammar error in your post. “Its'” does not need the apostrophe.
See #99 Grammar
[…] or crude team names. Co-Ed Sports are a past-time for the quarter-lifers and is even called out as #65 of Stuff White People Like. Girls enjoy the opportunity to participate in sports for the semi-competitive atmosphere or their […]
I have yet to be the unlucky girl who gets hit in the face with a softball at the company picnic (as it ALWAYS happens), but the scene following it is truly spectacular to watch, the cuter she is the better(for the reaction of the guys, not my personal ego of course…….well maybe a little). 😛
all my friends are girls and i just dont like to be around guys they suck…… but i would be all alone if i did a sport cause i would have to deal with guys and not have any friends
Never play with guys unless they insist. If so, I insist they pitch to me properly, not like a girl.
A notable exception to lame coed sports is coed doubles beach volleyball. Admittedly almost exclusively played by white people. Not sure why. It doesn’t cost much or require expensive equipment, just proximity to sand. Finding a good partner is like dating though. Even though she (or he) might look great in a swimsuit, you don’t want to commit to anything long term until you’ve played with each other, gotten sweaty, found out how well you communicate and are sure you won’t be embarrassed by her (or his) skills…
Men are better at sports than women anyway. But then, men are better at everything than women so…
could you be any more queer. go play makeover with your girlfriends
They forget to mention dodgeball and ultimate frizbee!!!
Beach volleyball is a sport for white people because of the proximity to sand requirement. White people love the beach, and own most of it. Therefore beach volleyball is a sport played on their home turf.
Really? I mean, seriously?
I think the boys like it because they get to hit the girls with a hockey stick and not have to worry about law enforcement getting involved….that can only mean (as a girl) I like to get hit with a stick? Damn, us white people are messed up!
Yes
I am an improperly white white person from flyover country. A little while back I packed up the wife and kids in my Ford Windstar and drove to DC to do the weekend tourist thing.
We were walking through the Mall one perfect October afternoon, starting at the Capitol and working our way toward the other end at the Lincoln Memorial. We were between the Washington Monument and the WWII Memorial when we came upon groups of curious and somewhat pathetic-looking people. Lest you get the wrong impression, I’m not talking about bedraggled homeless junkies, although by mentioning them here I’m raising awareness and hence embellishing my whiteness. No, I’m talking about groups of adult (?) white professionals playing games of friggin’ co-ed KICKBALL! They all had matching shirts and everything, like it was a real sport with real importance or something.
WTF, I thought to myself. I was surprised that these hipsters from Georgetown and Adams-Morgan were out here playing a child’s game, instead of the proper adult thing like nursing last night’s hangover or taking the walk of shame back home from last night’s hookup. Come to think of it, they probably did all that AND still had time to make it to the @#$@! kickball game. They are some damn impressive white people. We should all emulate their example!
Ha, that’s funny! The reasons are kind lame. I got other reasons for co-ed sports but they are too long. I don’t think I want to hook up with somebody that want to kick my ass or knock me out for game sake, male or female.
Co-ed sports are causing my athleticism to deteriorate. They should be outlawed.
I feel the need for you to shut up.
[…] will need a little more convincing. Will it help if I tell you that co-ed sports made #65 on Stuff White People Like? I know, I know. Your best friend met her husband at a bar, but just hear me […]
Aw, poor moron. You’ve never been in co-ed sports before have you? What a shame, you judge it harshly now. But wait until you have been blessed with the glory of your teammates uniforms! Best way to meet Japanese girls! For the lulz.
Finally someone saying what we are all thinking.
My wife is awesome at sports and can beat two men by herself sometimes.
women are not as good as men at sports. a kid on my high school’s track team broke the women’s WR in the half mile run, and then he laughed afterward about how no woman in history has ever beaten him
About the necessity to be careful: this is very true. Reminds me of this blog.
http://www.walrusmagazine.com/blogs/2008/08/01/one-thing-you-should-never-do-with-a-woman/#more-1062
Try fencing with girls. Watch out, they can kick you a$$.
i can also attest to this i have fenced before and there are some bad ass chicks out there
I gave up on co-ed sports when a woman I worked with slapped me after I motioned for her to get closer to the third base line when a batter came up who hit his previous three at-bats straight up said third base line. I realized then that, you know what, co-ed sports just isn’t for everyone.
your wife can beat me if she wants
please
new co-ed games:
Let’s Jump Each Others Bones Game
The Humping Game
I Stick You You Lick Me Game
The Horsey Game
Ride The Pole Game
Munching At the Y Game
Blow In The Mike Game
Finding the Little Man in The Boat Game
She Beat Your Meat You Squeeze Her Teat Game
and finally, Stick Ball.
For the best MJ in NYC & the boro’s check out Mikey Moscow delivery service. Open from 12pm-12am, EVERYDAY.
Delivery in UNDER 60 MINS.
Lots of exotic strains. Fast, Discreet, Courteous service.
ALL FIRST TIME CLIENTS email mikeymoscow@gmail.com for instructions before placing order.
If you are on the go
and you need a ho
call mikey moscow!
on thursdays, 2 for 1 sale
get a ho, and you get free blo in the same session
call mikey moscow today!!!!
Mikey Moscow is top notch. The best delivery service I have every used. Fast, fairly priced, and courteous.
I think co-ed sports are great for those who aren’t into hardcore competition and just want some fun and social time.
However, I would warn people looking for possible mates that you might be disappointed. Seems like in all the opportunies for teams I’ve come across, the single attractive women are nowhere to be found. Just loads of married women, women in relationships, older women, or ugly women.
Face it fellas…the young hotties you hope to meet aren’t going to join co-ed sports, or they’ll join something where they stay with their tight-knit group of friends because they honestly do want to play, not have loads of dull average joes try to get their number between innings/periods.
If you’re hardcore, then join an advanced league. If you’re in it for fun, then join with no expectations. If you have “find a date” motives, then skip it and join match.com.
WTF
If you are particularly skilled at a team sport, there is one guaranteed way to make white people swoon. Be the assist man. If, in a game of basketball or soccer where you significantly more talented than everyone else, you refuse to shoot and simply set up teammates with shots you know they’ll most likely miss, you’ll be the hero. You tried to get everyone involved, didn’t showboat and best of all, your didn’t let your talent dictate the game (aka you scoring and winning).
Either play sports to have fun/workout or get laid. Why not?
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
maybe that’s why the Utah Jazz never won an NBA championship.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money by participating in co-ed sports.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
This would make me want to play more.
To build team spirit among the corporate environment, how about teaching them to be a manager or CEO, it takes one and only one? Where’s the competitiveness of individual meritocracy in a place like the workplace? Losers LOL. +
D-Jam, even my own semi-liberal Democrat parents want me to do the neo-con Republican way to find mates: In a church (at least any religious meeting place). I see, you wait until marriage and don’t have eyes roll in the pews. You dress nice, don’t drink or smoke, very clean language and moral commitment, and a woman feels safe in a place where a religion endorses ‘gender roles’? No wonder I’m not into religion, and besides, you’re needed at work 45 hours a week (5 days) where you do meet people. +
The ultimate unPC comment about women, then again only women have babies…is that sexist too? No, a scientific fact. It’s like one famous conservative radio airhead (forgot his name) once said “to deny the existence of gender in science is to deny the natural order of humanity.” I guess gender, like race and class, are viewed solely (though the gender part is reproductive) a social construct. Let’s see if we can have a rematch of the 1970s “Battle of the Sexes” tennis match when feminist women worldwide celebrated Billie Jean King’s victory in the game. +
LoL! Your co-worker is your co-worker only, your friend is your friend only and to some social conservative men: your wife is your wife only. We sure came a long way in gender relations, IMO, is more fractituous than race relations. Too many rude, thoughtless and disgusting men treated women at the workplace very badly and wrongly, also a part of sex discrimination against women. Too bad you can’t flirt and talk intimate with women in or out the workplace, the P-C world harmed the ability for men and women to relate with each other without this “attempted rape”/”hostile work environment”/”gender prejudice” stuff. +
cool, everyone watch the oriental girl hit a softball, come on taylor the white boy, you can hit it—woo, woo—woo, woo,
dopey white people, dopey white people. that is why the country is BROKE..
Check our site out, all of the games are awesome!!!
I like the one game on your site where you control the big, vein-y dick and have to shoot the jizz into the little boy’s mouth. That one is the best!
john stockton scored 19,700 plus points – oh yeah, and dished a few assists as well.
but tell us how many championship rings does he have?
ZERO?
oh.
Please do not give this person money. “Beg-a-thon” please go put your burger king apron back on
You’re all bad people. Not funny or true.
this website seems racist…just throwin that out there…oh btw im mixed: black and white 🙂
Don’t blame us, nobama is only half white.
You may be just a little bit too pc. Very common with the leftwingnut loony white people this site parodies.
Now I wanna start playing kickball!!
Thanks SWPL!
Yes this is accurate. Pathetic, but accurate. Sums up virtually the whole college, post college 1st job years.
We White American men are supposed to be so “enthusiastic” and supportive of the whole process, we’re supposed to cheer on the weaker performers and see that everyone contributes and everyone cares about everyone.
When our natural instinct is to play sports we like and are good at – if some girl isn’t any good, why is she there?
There are only a few sports that men and women can play well together:
Tennis and Volleyball and the women have to be decent or good.
With too much of this S*$& and you will want to move to an Islamic country where the women are all in burkas and nobody does anything Co-Ed
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
Co-ed sports aren’t real sports. It doesn’t even have to do with girls but the overall ethic. You don’t play sports if all you play are co ed sports.
dude stop plugging your site its annoying
I like to see a woman’s pro football team (i.e. the East L.A. Enforcers or the Santa Ana, Cal. Winds) beat the crap out of the all-men San Diego Chargers. You see, women can play athletic sports. LoL!
What’s your problem?
[…] #15 Co-Ed Sports […]
[…] enjoy it in the same way I enjoy listening to super indie music and playing softball…how else can I hate on the white man as strongly as I do without learning their ways and […]
douche.
“Wisten to the whythmic whythm of the woodwinds as it wowws awound and awound…and it comes out here!” -Elmer Fudd
if you like this blog, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
)))
))
)
[…] Co-Ed Sports […]
Well ok but what about the vast majority of combat sports you fucktard. And no I am not above name calling you peace of shit. I have been in multiple martial art sports for a decade and have always trained with and been apart of coed teams in them. Are you telling me that Olympic Judo, Wrestling, and Taekwondo. Yes men and women compete in they’re respected genders ( that means its biological NOT eitical fucktard) but they train together. Then there is the inclusion of women in American folkstyle wrestling where in most cases the girls simply compete with the boys in dual meets.
You are an idiot fucktard. Please never blog.
I think I folkstyle wrestled your mom and I tapped out!
You compete in olympic judo at work? A work where no one needs to know how to spell? Interesting!
lmao i play co-ed softball because my friend did and there were plenty of hot guys on the team 😉
He nose how to spell you peace of shit.
I like to be the one of ur cancus
Why you need to have read Clausewitz, have access to a neutral country and a fleet of funny hats to play boardgames in Germany: http://www.isitajoke.de/2012/12/12-boardgames-war-cabinets-and-meetings.html
looking forward of the more posts
Greetings I am so glad I found your weblog, I really found you by error, while I was
browsing on Google for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say
cheers for a tremendous post and a all round interesting
blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to
browse it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the great work.
Nice Article!!! Like It!!